https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 20 Jun 2026 21:55:51 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bff-invited-herselfher-fi-on-our-babymoonhow-to-address-this#post-247570 Fri, 03 Aug 2012 18:59:31 +0000 mrs. bird 247570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Perfect timing for your talk! Sounds like she totally understood :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bff-invited-herselfher-fi-on-our-babymoonhow-to-address-this#post-247568 Fri, 03 Aug 2012 18:58:03 +0000 chopsuey 247568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jholler25: glad it worked out!! :D </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bff-invited-herselfher-fi-on-our-babymoonhow-to-address-this#post-247566 Fri, 03 Aug 2012 18:56:45 +0000 PrincessBaby 247566@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just an update....Due to crazy schedules, I was only just able to discuss this with my BFF this past week.</p> <p>She spent last weekend in Vegas for a bachelorette party, and when I asked her what she's up to this weekend, she said she is hanging out with her Fiance and spending time with him since she didn't see him all last weekend. It drives me NUTS when people freak out about needing QT with their SO when they have to spend minimal time apart, but they think nothing of intruding on our very precious time together when DH is home.</p> <p>So I took that as my cue to say, "Oh, I forgot to tell you! We booked our babymoon to Charleston!" and she was like, "What weekend?" And from there I just pretty much said that since we seriously never get to take trips together due to DH's crazy schedule, we're absolutely making this an US trip before the baby. And she shook her head okay, and I think coming on the heels of the comment she just made about needing to spend time with her FI after one weekend apart, she understood perfectly:)</p> <p>Thanks for all of your advice! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bff-invited-herselfher-fi-on-our-babymoonhow-to-address-this#post-213534 Fri, 06 Jul 2012 16:52:48 +0000 ladyfingers 213534@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you're fine with a light explanation followed by a promise for something you can do together, like Highwire suggested. I would TOTALLY understand if my friend explained it to me like, "Please don't be offended, but we wanted to do this Charleston trip as a little babymoon, just the two of us, before the baby comes. But I definitely want to travel together, and do fun stuff -- what are your weekends like coming up, let's plan something local now!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bff-invited-herselfher-fi-on-our-babymoonhow-to-address-this#post-213413 Fri, 06 Jul 2012 15:19:36 +0000 Mrs. Tricycle 213413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the ladies have all said it perfectly -- and I'd totally come up with some kind of alternative plan (just the two of you? or a local thing) to soften the blow. Get it over with ASAP so you can stop stressing about the conversation. :) Good luck!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bff-invited-herselfher-fi-on-our-babymoonhow-to-address-this#post-213379 Fri, 06 Jul 2012 14:54:55 +0000 autumnlove 213379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jessiejo17: that sounds perfect! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bff-invited-herselfher-fi-on-our-babymoonhow-to-address-this#post-213371 Fri, 06 Jul 2012 14:49:25 +0000 heffalump 213371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with what others have said. I do see my dh every day and I still would have been upset if someone tried to impose on my babymoon. Your friend should understand. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bff-invited-herselfher-fi-on-our-babymoonhow-to-address-this#post-213340 Fri, 06 Jul 2012 14:31:28 +0000 DillonLion 213340@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you combine the un-invitation with another suggestion as an alternative? Like, planning something for the four of you to do together, that's special, but local? Maybe that will help dull the pain a little... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bff-invited-herselfher-fi-on-our-babymoonhow-to-address-this#post-213337 Fri, 06 Jul 2012 14:30:04 +0000 littlebug 213337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would keep it as short and sweet as possible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bff-invited-herselfher-fi-on-our-babymoonhow-to-address-this#post-213306 Fri, 06 Jul 2012 14:08:57 +0000 Jumpingjacks 213306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the jist of what you've said is good, but you probably don't need to say so much. I'm sure she'll get it and will respect what you've said. It's totally reasonable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bff-invited-herselfher-fi-on-our-babymoonhow-to-address-this#post-213289 Fri, 06 Jul 2012 13:58:25 +0000 pastemoo 213289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the simpler you put it, the nicer it will be.<br /> She knows you're BFFs, you don't have to remind her all in one breath with what you want to say about your baby moon.</p> <p>"We'd love to plan a trip with you together sometime, but we want this Charleston trip to be like our honeymoon--but for our anniversary, and before the baby arrives."</p> <p>Don't keep talking. Wait for her response. Simpler is better. You can always add more later (e.g. "We should plan a different trip together some time because I love traveling with you.)"</p> <p>ETA: What all the previous ladies said is right. I left the page open for so long, I didn't see them until after I posted. Oops! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bff-invited-herselfher-fi-on-our-babymoonhow-to-address-this#post-213271 Fri, 06 Jul 2012 13:49:42 +0000 LuLu Mom 213271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know what you are going through, my BFF sometimes gets like this too. I would just be like "hey after talking it over wtih DH we decided we want to do a couple's trip jsut the two of us before the baby comes, but we should all definetely get together when we get back to catch up!" I'm sure she will understand! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bff-invited-herselfher-fi-on-our-babymoonhow-to-address-this#post-213267 Fri, 06 Jul 2012 13:46:35 +0000 MamaMoose 213267@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jholler25: I know the feeling. I'm a people pleaser too and hate to disappoint people but I really think she'll totally understand and won't be hurt at all! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bff-invited-herselfher-fi-on-our-babymoonhow-to-address-this#post-213266 Fri, 06 Jul 2012 13:46:19 +0000 oliviaoblivia 213266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with Mamamoose. Just tell her it's a babymoon and that you and DH had planned some "quality time" for that trip.<br /> Maybe you can plan another trip with her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bff-invited-herselfher-fi-on-our-babymoonhow-to-address-this#post-213263 Fri, 06 Jul 2012 13:45:17 +0000 Running Elley 213263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: I agree! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bff-invited-herselfher-fi-on-our-babymoonhow-to-address-this#post-213261 Fri, 06 Jul 2012 13:44:59 +0000 Running Elley 213261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would really just tell her if she brings it up again that “Actually I think we’re going to make this trip a just me and DH one since it’ll be our last trip before the baby is born and we haven’t been able to travel in awhile” and I think she would understand just from that! Obviously you two are really close so I think she’d take it really well and understand. You can explain the similarity of babymoon/honeymoon and that should clear up any questioning as to why you want it to just be the two of you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bff-invited-herselfher-fi-on-our-babymoonhow-to-address-this#post-213260 Fri, 06 Jul 2012 13:44:49 +0000 PrincessBaby 213260@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: You're right....My guilt makes me overcompensate or over-explain:) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bff-invited-herselfher-fi-on-our-babymoonhow-to-address-this#post-213259 Fri, 06 Jul 2012 13:43:44 +0000 MamaMoose 213259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hoenstly I would say you went in to too much detail. I think you should just say that you guys need this alone time together to reconnect before the baby comes and leave it at that. If she's a good friend (and it sounds like she is an AMAZING friend) then she should understand that and not need any more explanation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bff-invited-herselfher-fi-on-our-babymoonhow-to-address-this#post-213251 Fri, 06 Jul 2012 13:35:48 +0000 PrincessBaby 213251@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have an awkward situation that I'll have to address soon. My BFF just invited herself and her FI on the trip that DH and I are planning for a Baby Moon.</p> <p>DH works offshore, so he is gone for 3 weeks at a time. When he is home, our time together is precious to us. We still do things with other people, like my BFF and her FI, but we are both protective of our time together.</p> <p>Due to some schedule changes for DH, we haven't been on a trip in a while. We had planned to take an anniversary trip for our 1yr, but dates never worked out. So we decided a few days ago that we are going to go on a BabyMoon to Charleston, SC, which is our favorite place in the world, and also where we plan to move in the next 1-2 years.</p> <p>My BFF is awesome and I am so lucky to have her, but in my favorite quote from The Wedding Crashers, she can be a "Stage Five Clinger." She LOVES when we all do things together, and she is a very VERY good friend. But I feel like, because she sees her FI every day and travels with him ALL the time, she doesn't realize that she can sometimes be intrusive on our precious little time together. </p> <p>I told her yesterday that we are booking our Charleston trip finally, and she said, "FI and I were saying that we want to go to Charleston because we've never been, and you guys are always talking about it, so we were just talking the other day that we might go in September! Let me know when you guys are going and we should all go together! That would be so much fun!" I was stunned and I don't even know what I said, but I definitely called it a BabyMoon at some point, but she still didn't get the hint.</p> <p>So now I'm going to have to address this with her, since obviously she is going to know when we go to Charleston. I'm just going to be honest and say that basically we get so little time together that we try to make the most of the time that we do get. We don't get to travel a lot together because DH works away so much, and so we're planning on this being a Baby Moon...Like a Honeymoon, since it will be our last "alone" trip before the baby comes. I know it's hard to always remember that our situation is a little different, and I would die if I EVER hurt your feelings, but we are just trying to do something that we never get to do, and celebrate this special time. I think that if DH came home every day and I spent every day and every weekend with him, things would be a lot different, and I wouldn't think twice about making a couples trip. And I definitely think it would be fun to go on a couples trip with you guys, but I just don't think that this Charleston trip is the one to do that for. This trip is about spending some much needed time alone before the baby, and we're also going to be doing a lot of neighborhood searching and trying to get more familiar with what are we want to look for a house in...." Or something to that effect.</p> <p>Is there anything you would add? I HATE to make her feel like I don't want us to all be together, I just don't think she totally understands. I think she just thinks the more, the merrier. But DH and I don't feel that way!</p> <p>Any advice? </p> <p>P.S. This girl brought me to the ER when I had my first cp/mc and DH was gone and spent the whole night with me at my house so I wouldn't be alone., pumping me full of wine and wiping my tears away. She had just gotten back literally an hour before I called her from a week in Jamaica and I know she was EXHAUSTED, but she was there for me in a flash. She is such a dear friend to me, I just want to address this as nicely and gently as I can! I'd die if I hurt her! </p>