https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 26 Apr 2026 12:57:34 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem/page/2#post-2752825 Wed, 28 Jun 2017 09:11:57 +0000 maddyz 2752825@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Names are so hard, I still have times I wish I hadn't compromised on ds2's name. I wish we had gone with the family name.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem/page/2#post-2752632 Tue, 27 Jun 2017 17:46:15 +0000 Mommy Finger 2752632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HeartAbandoned: That's the tradition in my family.... :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem/page/2#post-2752013 Mon, 26 Jun 2017 10:32:20 +0000 HeartAbandoned 2752013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm jumping in late here, and haven't read every entry, but I wonder about using DH's first as DS's middle? Then the "tradition" would be that the son has the father's first name as a middle, since that's how DH's name is structured? DS will have the history of the name, but his own first name/identity? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem/page/2#post-2744896 Wed, 07 Jun 2017 15:55:28 +0000 Mommy Finger 2744896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Every time my husband talked about naming DS1 after him as a Jr, I would always think back to grade school where a fellow student was Richard Jr. . . and yes, went by Dick. So if you called his house and asked for Dick, you would be asked if you were looking for Big Dick or Little Dick. Which probably adds nothing to the story but always makes me laugh. Needless to say, DS1 is not a Jr. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem/page/2#post-2744893 Wed, 07 Jun 2017 15:44:13 +0000 LCTBQE 2744893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybunnylove: good work!! It's really positive that you are both feeling good about the new name. I hope instead of worrying that your husband will resent you down the line, you can imagine his eternal gratitude to you for bearing his children. Sounds kind of sarcastic in writing but I am completely serious. And, once the baby is born and you start calling him his new name, I will bet you'll never look back because it'll feel so right. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem/page/2#post-2744879 Wed, 07 Jun 2017 14:52:57 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2744879@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybunnylove: Im sorry. I think at this point I would try to maybe just table the discussion until when the baby is here. Decide down to the 2 names (Jr and one other) and just wait and see what feels right after the birth. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem/page/2#post-2744874 Wed, 07 Jun 2017 14:40:09 +0000 erinbaderin 2744874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybunnylove: I do this - when I finally get a compromise I feel guilty. Do not be a martyr. Once your husband meets your son and gets to know him as the name you are both happy with he'll probably never think of it again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem/page/2#post-2744804 Wed, 07 Jun 2017 12:30:02 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2744804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybunnylove: stay strong mama! I think when baby is here he will get over it, and though you may feel some guilt at first (I did sporadically) you ultimately will feel less guilt than you would resentment. And since he likes the other name (and you flat out don't want a Jr) he will likely see the baby as that name and get past it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem/page/2#post-2744777 Wed, 07 Jun 2017 11:58:37 +0000 LAZB 2744777@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband is the fourth, and loves it, and has never had issues with mix ups. He also has one of the most common names ever, so I really wouldn't let that part deter you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem/page/2#post-2744765 Wed, 07 Jun 2017 11:41:46 +0000 nanilani 2744765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybunnylove: I agree with raspberry that you probably can't get both of you 100% on board with the name given the debate, but I think having a name that's acceptable to both of you is fine. It sounds like great progress! I can understand the feelings of guilt and I know it must be hard to ignore, but try to remind yourself that you can't control his feelings anymore than he can control yours. All you can do is take him at his word that he is okay with the compromise name and try not to worry about future resentment that may never actually come up. Good luck, and I hope you two end up with a name that both of you are content with!</p> <p>I missed the original discussion, but for what it's worth my husband is a Jr. and swore up and down that he would never name his son as III. I guess he'd had enough of the mixups with his dad's name and didn't want to pass on the headache. In their personal lives, most of my in-laws still calls him by a juvenile nickname to differentiate between them. My brother is also a Jr. but goes by a common nickname. I've never heard him complain about any identity confusion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem/page/2#post-2744685 Wed, 07 Jun 2017 09:08:40 +0000 Raspberry 2744685@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybunnylove: I like the suggestion by @Mrs. Champagne best, with the name you like as baby's first name, DH's first name as his middle name. DH's middle name as an optional second middle name if you desire though I'd personally skip it. That way DH's full name appears in print.</p> <p>Given that you want essentially opposite things (JR or no JR), I don't think it's possible for you both to be 100% on board. Maybe you can both aim to be mostly on board at best. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem/page/2#post-2744674 Wed, 07 Jun 2017 08:57:48 +0000 babybunnylove 2744674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not sure if anyone is interested, but a minor update.<br /> We still haven't settled on a name. My husband has voiced that he still has his preference for a Jr., but he sees my point of view and is willing to go with our other name that we both liked. But I'm having trouble not thinking that someday my husband will still wish we had named him a Jr. and resent me. So now I'm feeling some guilt. Could just be pregnancy hormones, but how can I get us both on board 100% and happy without feeling like we both lose in some way? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem/page/2#post-2739005 Tue, 23 May 2017 11:15:29 +0000 sauerkraut 2739005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybunnylove: My father and I have the same last name, first names that start with the same letter but are otherwise not similar, and completely different middle names. Other than living with my parents through high school, I officially changed my residence to my parents' house a few different times as an adult, like after college or when I was living abroad and wanted to use a US address. I've known our credit histories were a little mixed up for years, but in the last year, my dad wanted to apply for a home equity loan, while I started trying to get pre-approved for a mortgage. Unwinding all the mix ups on our credit reports has been a giant PITA, and this is for two people who DON'T EVEN HAVE THE SAME NAME, just same last name, same first letter. Just sayin' </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem/page/2#post-2738937 Tue, 23 May 2017 09:21:55 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2738937@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybunnylove: Reading that your daughter is named after DH's side of the family, I'm now thinking he's being pretty unreasonable about this. I'd stand my ground. You need to come up with this name together, not have it be something that one parent loves and the other hates. It would be one thing if you didn't mind the name for your son, but you only associate it with your DH. I think it's time for him to move onto something new. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem/page/2#post-2738933 Tue, 23 May 2017 09:12:47 +0000 Revel 2738933@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm really angry for you reading this! My husband and I are struggling with naming our first boy/last baby, and he's rejected a lot of my first choices (we have very different tastes) but we are both moving on from the firm "no" votes the other has because you have to compromise. Your husband is being unreasonable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem/page/2#post-2738883 Tue, 23 May 2017 08:01:33 +0000 Ajsmommy 2738883@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We just had our DS and DH's family has a tradition with naming the first born boys in their family. I honored it because the name for DS is nice and I didn't have any bad feelings about it. DS is also NOT a jr. </p> <p>Based on what you've posted, I would stand your ground. You said yourself that you can't picture calling DS your husbands name. And you think it's "regular" and you want your DS to have a different name. Based on those feelings I would stand your ground.</p> <p>My MIL might have been in your situation... Here's a little back story. So the tradition in DH's father's family is to name the first son the fathers middle name. So DH has his father's middle name as his first name. HOWEVER, he was never called that and his mom never intended to even use that name, it is just his name on paper. He goes by a shortened version of his MIDDLE name that his mom chose. So in sense she went with the tradition but bucked it by not using that name. My issue is that we now have DS who has DH's middle name which is the name that DH technically goes by. I personally hate that DH's first name is not used.. it's awkward. Like when we got married, am I marrying First legal name, or middle used name. And for insurance and all other things it's annoying to have to use his unused first name all the time. But all that said it just shows that there are ways around using a name you don't want to </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem/page/2#post-2738867 Tue, 23 May 2017 03:09:54 +0000 lamariniere 2738867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Champagne: This is what I was going to suggest. New first name, use your husband's first and middle as your son's two middle names.</p> <p>In a completely random coincidence, my DH has 2 middle names and they happened to be my two favorite boy names (before I even met my DH! It was clearly meant to be :wink: ). We used his two middle names as our son's first and middle and everyone was happy. My DH never uses his middle names except on documents, so no one even makes the connection unless we tell them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem#post-2738866 Tue, 23 May 2017 02:49:56 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2738866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybunnylove: Stick to your guns. He got to choose your daughter's name, he needs to compromise this time around - it's fair! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem#post-2738857 Mon, 22 May 2017 22:45:13 +0000 FancyGem 2738857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is named after my husband, but his middle name is slightly different. We have a different nickname for him, but he is now old enough to understand that it's not his real name. My brother and my daddy have the same name, but we call my brother by his middle name.<br /> I actually like my husband's name so I didn't mind giving our oldest son his name. My daddy and brother didn't have many mix ups with mail. I think it's because their middle names are different. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem#post-2738829 Mon, 22 May 2017 20:30:24 +0000 Astro Bee 2738829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH is the fifth or sixth to carry his name, although they all have different middle names. His parents are unabashed hippies and nicknamed him an off the wall nn that doesn't logically flow from either first or middle name, and that is what all his friends and family call him, although he goes by his legal name at work. I don't like the name at all, and really didn't want to name DS1 it, but I also felt strongly that he have his own identity. I was worried about offending DH and his family for a long time, but DH eventually agreed. He wasn't set on his name, and we used his name as the second middle name. His first middle name is one that is important to my family. We used the same formula with DS2, unique to him first name, and two middle names (one for each side of the family). </p> <p>The key is compromise, but I'd stick to your guns on the Jr part. Legally it's confusing for DH and his family all having the same name, and it's confusing to me when everyone gets together. Also it's been weird for DH having to explain his nickname not being his legal name. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem#post-2738817 Mon, 22 May 2017 20:02:04 +0000 Mae 2738817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yea, no way. Especially because he named your daughter with an honor name and the kids share his last name. Sorry that's just some bullshit right there. He needs to get over himself. The *most* I'd be willing to do here is give the baby his first name as a middle. That is continuing the tradition his family set where his middle is his dad's first, it's honoring him, but you get to pick the first name with no restrictions IMO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem#post-2738815 Mon, 22 May 2017 19:59:55 +0000 skipra 2738815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way! Your daughter's name is an honor name on his side and I assume both kids will have his last name. Absolutely not. You are carrying this baby and it is 100% unfair for him to expect both his kids are only named after him and his side of the family. I would tell him he can have a Jr. when he pushes him out of HIS vagina! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem#post-2738809 Mon, 22 May 2017 19:52:23 +0000 ShootingStar 2738809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think your husband is being pretty unreasonable. One parent does not get to unilaterally decide the name of one child, let alone two. I'm also really averse to the whole junior thing. I feel like kids deserve their own name and identity. And I really can't stand when people literally call the kid Junior - it's like he has no identity other than being his father's son. It's as bad as "Offred" in the Handmaid's Tale. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem#post-2738807 Mon, 22 May 2017 19:50:21 +0000 gingerbebe 2738807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you answered the matter when you said you can't imagine calling your son that name. The end. </p> <p>FWIW, my husband has the same name as his father and it's never been an issue. In the family they call him Big Mike and Little Mike, but as an adult he's not around his dad enough for it to be confusing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem#post-2738800 Mon, 22 May 2017 19:32:53 +0000 azjax 2738800@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband is a junior and it's annoying anytime we are with his family, and fine in other parts of life. Our son is not a third and it wasn't even a serious option. I think insisting on naming your child after yourself is really an egotistical and stereotypically macho thing and it doesn't appeal to me. I'd fight for a name you both love. Perhaps a middle name is a good place to compromise. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem#post-2738794 Mon, 22 May 2017 19:19:52 +0000 peaches1038 2738794@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not give in either. Especially after hearing all the backstory. There has to be some way to compromise. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem#post-2738792 Mon, 22 May 2017 19:11:47 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2738792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What about you name him</p> <p>Firstnameyoulike husbandsfirstname husbandsmiddlename husbandslastname</p> <p>Then he has your husbands full name in there? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem#post-2738785 Mon, 22 May 2017 19:00:26 +0000 erinbaderin 2738785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is honestly not fair of your husband. Does he not see that he's being manipulative and controlling? He does not get to unilaterally decide the name, it has to be something you both agree to. There are compromises to be had (his first name and a different middle name) but it sounds like he isn't open to them, and that makes me really angry on your behalf. </p> <p>This isn't really helpful to your problem, but I'm fuming a little bit that he's taking such a hard line on a name you're not on board with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem#post-2738784 Mon, 22 May 2017 18:59:48 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2738784@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would tell DH. Ok I get it's important to you. It's an option on the table. But we need to work together to come up with a second option. Then decide from there. He may also be so attached to the idea of a jr because he just hasn't thought of something he likes better. But if you can get him to have that convo of what would the second choice be maybe then you can talk about which out of the two to use. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/big-naming-problem#post-2738779 Mon, 22 May 2017 18:51:10 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2738779@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We almost named DS a Jr. But I didn't really want to and he came out looking like a particular name to DH and I agreed and we named him that and it really suits him. When all was said and done it mattered more to DH that we were both happy. But he also named LO1!</p> <p>All that to say keep making your wishes known. I think most men would come around. It's your baby too. </p>