https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 05 May 2026 15:29:16 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-257406 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 17:21:45 +0000 Arden 257406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs.B: Have you tried <a href="http://www.doulamatch.net?" rel="nofollow">http://www.doulamatch.net?</a><br /> I would look into midwives anyway, illegal or not I'll bet there are some in the area that do home births. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-257397 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 17:14:34 +0000 Mrs.B 257397@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We live in such a small area and I can't find a doula with an opening. We live in Illinois where it is not illegal to have a home birth in all counties but it is illegal in ours. I believe we have 3 counties in our state that allow homebirths and the nearest one is 3 hours away. DH is super out spoken so that gives me some comfort. I'm going to bring my full birth plan to my doc apt next week and see what she has to say. I plan to labor at home as long as possible (DH is terrified I'm going to have baby in the car lol). I would like to only labor at the hospital for a few hours before pushing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-257326 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 16:03:14 +0000 matador84 257326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If that is what you want, stand your ground. I have a friend who had a natural birth last year at the same hospital I am giving birth in and she was just like you have to make it known that you know what you want, and you know what you're talking about. Otherwise, it's easy to cave or have someone push you into making a decision you don't want in a moment of weakness. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-257281 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 15:33:42 +0000 rachiecakes 257281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: haha, that's the story I remember reading and first heard that it was illegal in some states! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-257279 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 15:32:38 +0000 rachiecakes 257279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pastemoo: totally fine, but it's illegal to get paid to assist someone giving birth at home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-257277 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 15:32:11 +0000 Arden 257277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pastemoo: They can't arrest parents for accidentally going into quick labor and birthing a baby at an unplanned home birth.</p> <p>It is illegal for midwives to attend home births, their way of outlawing planned home births. But it doesn't work, because midwives do it anyway.</p> <p>I personally know midwives who work in states where home birth midwifery is illegal. They are VERY rarely charged, even if they do get caught, but many midwives consider the risk of being arrested less important than leaving women without the option of home births. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-257266 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 15:27:28 +0000 pastemoo 257266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rachiecakes: What if you just have a baby at home without one? I mean, how can that be illegal? Sometimes laws just don't make sense! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-257265 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 15:26:42 +0000 rachiecakes 257265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: right! :) I meant to add this link: <a href="http://mana.org/statechart.html" rel="nofollow">http://mana.org/statechart.html</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-257262 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 15:25:12 +0000 Arden 257262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rachiecakes: Felony for the midwife, not for the parents. Many midwives take the risk because they believe in home birth.</p> <p>Here's a story about a home birth in Missouri.<br /> <a href="http://www.babble.com/pregnancy/pregnancy-health/my-illegal-home-birth-giving-birth-at-home-was-weird-magical-and-a-felony/" rel="nofollow">http://www.babble.com/pregnancy/pregnancy-health/my-illegal-home-birth-giving-birth-at-home-was-weird-magical-and-a-felony/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-257249 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 15:18:17 +0000 rachiecakes 257249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pastemoo: I know in Missouri midwife-assisted home birth is a felony </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-257230 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 15:10:06 +0000 pastemoo 257230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs.B: How can home birth be illegal? My aunt told me this about induction: just don't show up to your induction appointment--they can't come to your house and make you have the baby!<br /> I messed up and ended up with all the stuff I didn't want--next time I will labor at home as long as possible, and if I wait too long, I'll get an ambulance.</p> <p>Unfortunately, I feel like having a natural birth at a non-natural birth friendly place is just not going to happen unless you also have a doula and a very sure of himself partner. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-257205 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 14:54:45 +0000 DillonLion 257205@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Minnie_Girl: Good lord! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-257204 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 14:53:44 +0000 Minnie_Girl 257204@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh no, I'm sorry you're in that situation! It's amazing how little hospital staff can know about normal, unmedicated birth. When I was doing research on my local hospital, I found a birth story from THIS YEAR about how the hospital did their first ever delayed cord clamping. The doctor had never heard of it before, and told the parents that delayed clamping would "make the baby anemic" and "prevent them from breathing"! *headdesk* </p> <p>The parents stuck to their guns and pointed the doc to the research. Doc agreed to delay clamping by three minutes, and wouldn't you know, the baby had excellent iron levels and vitals!</p> <p>You CAN have a normal, natural, healthy birth if you're willing to get a little creative and fight for it. Maybe you'll change some mindsets in the process. Good luck with your birth plans, I hope everything works out! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-256866 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 12:20:18 +0000 Arden 256866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry! I agree with others about having a doula, but I can't help but wish you could find a way for a home birth. </p> <p>What state do you live in? I know that in many states where it is "illegal" to have a planned home birth, it isn't actually illegal for the parents, just the midwife. Often there are midwives in these states who work off-book, quietly, so that parents can still have the option of natural birth. </p> <p>If you are serious about wishing for a home birth, I would be happy to do some research for you and track down some midwives through the contacts I have online (I'm a doula).</p> <p>Let me know. :) Whatever you decide, best of luck to you and I pray you get the birth of your dreams! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-256855 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 12:10:41 +0000 tororojo 256855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aww I'm sorry that they aren't very supportive of natural birth! A doula seems like it might be a good idea in this instance, either that or having your DH be reeeally familiar with your birth plan/wishes in order to field off some of the questions. A clearly written birth plan could be helpful. The stringent hospital policies may be for legal reasons, especially since they're so unfamiliar with natural birth (ya know, fearing the unknown and trying to cover their tail). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-256835 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 11:56:35 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 256835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>"No because she has never seen anyone use them, everyone just gets the Epi when the pain gets to be to much". &lt;&lt;&lt;this would have been my clue that these people were anti-natural births. I can't believe she is so...dumb. Excuse me, but that's the vibe I get! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-256782 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 11:36:38 +0000 MrsMccarthy 256782@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First of all you probably do not "need" to be induced unless you have some kind of health issue or extreme size issue. Reading this has given me alot of perspecitve on that. too many docs do these things willy nilly. in UK you have to be to 42 weeks for an induction unless its medical. </p> <p><a href="http://www.instituteofmidwifery.org/MSFinalProj.nsf/a9ee58d7a82396768525684f0056be8d/035cf7c79e3c5f4b852569a40002fc41?OpenDocument" rel="nofollow">http://www.instituteofmidwifery.org/MSFinalProj.nsf/a9ee58d7a82396768525684f0056be8d/035cf7c79e3c5f4b852569a40002fc41?OpenDocument</a></p> <p>another thing that might help is a good Doula or Midwife or both. Hosptial staff are notoriously in the dark when it comes to natural births. Even very liberal minded people like a friend of mine buy into certain rhetoric that is usually just par for the course in preventing lawsuits and "moving things along". </p> <p>Many natural childbirths occur. If you have not you should get inspired by looking into movies like The Business of Being Born and Orgasmic Birth. There are also great books like INa May Gaskins Guide to Childbirth and you can watch natural births on youtube.</p> <p>Women have been giving birth naturally and successfully for a long time, a lot longer than all the medical interventions and statistically they are seeing more losses not fewer these days. Do not let these things scare you. Have the birth you want. I started a natural childbirth thread on WB and maybe i will start one here too so we have a safe place to go and be supported. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-256772 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 11:31:26 +0000 Mrsbells 256772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The part that worries me is that she hasnever seen a natural birth. However that might not be because the hospital is anti-natural birth, it might be because all the women coming in are requesting epidurals or other interventions. a lot of women these days just prefer to get the pain meds, as much as I am pro natural birth, I cant fault the hospital if thats what women are requesting. i think talking to your OB is important because ultimate her/his view is what matters. At my hospital there was one nurse who just couldnt understand my views at all, but all the others were great and were very pro natural birth, </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-256763 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 11:19:44 +0000 plaidpants 256763@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hired a doula for just these reasons! I was very afraid I'd end up with nurses who wouldn't support me or who would try to push an epidural, so I wanted my own support person who was knowledgeable about childbirth and med-free pain management. I ended up with awesome nurses during my delivery, but I'm still glad I had the doula.</p> <p>Also, I was allowed and encouraged to use the tub after my water broke and I gave birth in a hospital setting, so it's not standard everywhere. I would definitely ask to speak with another nurse just to make sure you didn't end up with a dud tour guide! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-256708 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 10:50:10 +0000 mrstilly 256708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Getting out of the shower/tub after your water breaks is odd. Where I am the shower and tub are used more after your water breaks as a natural form of pain management. I was induced, and spent about 7 hours after my water broke in the tub. </p> <p>I would request to talk to someone else or talk to your doctor about your concerns. Another possibility would be hiring a doula. They can't go against the hospital policy, but would be able to be a middle man to advocate for you while you are in labor so you are not the one stressing out about everything while you are in pain. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-256694 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 10:39:49 +0000 Foodnerd81 256694@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Would you consider hiring a doula? I don't have any experience with one other than, you know, reading about it on the internet, but I understand having a doula greatly increases your chance of having the natural birth you desire, since they will speak for your wishes when you are otherwise occupied, and will be able to offer alternate pain management techniques. I know there are people on here who used a doula who may have more info. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-256692 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 10:38:55 +0000 purrpletulips 256692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsb: actually now that I think about it, my hospital said (with DD) that I if I chose to use the shower during labor that once my water broke I'd have to get out so that must be pretty standard (I think because of the increased risk of infection). I'm trying to decide on whether or not to do a hospital tour this time around since we are using the same hospital as when I delivered DD because there are some things I want this time that I didn't know to ask about last time (such as IV placement, wanting to be able to eat/drink during labor, etc). I am thinking of waiting until after my ultrasound next week though in case we need to discuss c-section options as it is possible baby is breech. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-256677 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 10:25:20 +0000 Mrs.B 256677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@purrpletulips: She was actually super friendly but just seemed stunned that we are planning a natural birth. I did ask my Dr. how long I could be in the tub and she confirmed that I have to get out when my water breaks. I'm super bummed about that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-256671 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 10:21:54 +0000 purrpletulips 256671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could you possibly call and ask to speak to a different nurse (or go back for a second tour and request a different nurse). Perhaps it is just her attitude and not actually that of the hospital. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-center-tour-didnt-go-as-i-had-hoped#post-256667 Mon, 13 Aug 2012 10:19:49 +0000 Mrs.B 256667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I finally did our hospital/birth center tour last night. I'm 31 weeks so we still have alot of time but I am SO hoping these next 9 weeks fly by super fast! This is my second time giving birth and I am really hoping for a completely different experience then the first. With DS I had a complicated birth and was induced. I ended up with an Epi at 7cm and was stuck in the same position my entire labor due to his heart rate issues during labor. We almost ended in a C Section but thankfully were able to avoid it! This time I want a very natural birth I would like to go completely med free but do understand I may need to be induced. I have a different doctor this time around and I am giving birth in a different hospital. My Dr. seemed pretty supportive of my natural birth plans so I haven't gotten nervous about it until last night. The nurse that gave us our tour has NEVER seen a natural birth EVER! The center only has 2 birthing balls so I asked if I should bring my own in which she responded "No because she has never seen anyone use them, everyone just gets the Epi when the pain gets to be to much". Next issue is they only have 1 room with a tub all the other rooms have a shower. She said they usually keep the tub room open but if we ask for it when we get there that maybe they will be able to give it to me. She also said it's policy that I cannot be in the tub after my water breaks. I was just so blown away by how anti natural birth the hospital seems to be. I'm really affraid they are going to push me to take the meds. Ugh I wish home birth was legal in my state but sadly it is not. We also do not have any real birth centers near us. Boooo this really stinks and now I am so nervous I'm not going to get a chance to experience labor and birth the way I was hoping to. </p>