https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 16 Apr 2026 01:52:14 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-563761 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 13:03:39 +0000 shopaholic 563761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>THANK YOU EVERYONE for your great suggestions! We do take our Childbirth Prep class this weekend at our hospital, so I am glad I can have a short list of questions to prepare and ask what is standard, etc. </p> <p>I think just for my peace of mind, I'd like a short and brief, but written out birth plan for sure. You guys have given me a lot to think about or the next couple of days! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-563723 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 12:53:34 +0000 2PeasinaPod 563723@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's also important to let your DH in on your birth plan so that in the moment, they can relay what you want/don't want if you're in the middle of a painful contraction. </p> <p>Also just be prepared that not everything goes as planned while giving birth, so you should have things that you absolutely will not budge on (specific medications you don't want), vs. things that may be medically necessary (C-section b/c the baby is at risk). I went in with a pretty open mind, and everything went wrong with our delivery. I ended up with a C-section which was the last thing I wanted, but it was absolutely necessary for the sake of my LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-563698 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 12:42:56 +0000 sotomorrow 563698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our hospital's standard level of care was exactly what we wanted for our baby. We discussed pain management with our OB and decided from there. It was also a big topic of discussion at the hospital's prenatal class. The L&amp;D nurse who led the class (and was about 8 months pregnant when we took the class, BTW) was very neutral about all of the choices. Our hospital is currently looking to get Baby Friendly certification. </p> <p>We had a wonderful birth in the hospital (better than I expected). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-563576 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 11:55:30 +0000 sarac 563576@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, FOR SURE keep it short. Unsupportive providers just won't read it, and supportive providers will, but it'll be time out from caring for you. As my midwife put it, she'd happily read a five page birth plan, but that was 20 less minutes for her to be at your bedside, talking to you. She suggested trying to limit it to a page, bullet points. </p> <p>I know that my hospital's midwife service already did a lot of things I would have otherwise asked for, like delayed cord clamping, skin to skin, etc. I was able to leave a lot out knowing that it was the default. I'd advise finding out what is standard at your practice, and only listing the things that really differ.</p> <p>I would really suggest having one, though, as you can't be certain you'll get your preferred midwife/doctor at go time, even if they usually do all their own births. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-563236 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 09:54:56 +0000 LuLu Mom 563236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wrote up my birth plan and had it in the hosptial when I went in to get induced...and through it out the window. I told my nurse, who was amazing, that number 1) I wanted to do what was best for the baby. 2) I knew going in I wanted an epi so I informed her of that. I let her really lead me through it. She asked if I watned my epi and I said "is this the point others get it (I was gripping side o fbed) and she said oh yes honey, so I did it. I really let the experts guide me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-563189 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 09:28:05 +0000 mrs. wagon 563189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't have a birth plan. I just made it clear that I wanted an open line of communication with the nurses at all times because I had no idea what I would want once I was in the situation.</p> <p>The second time I also did not have a birth plan, but I let the nurses know that I wanted to labor as long as possible before getting pain management (I was induced with pitocin and broken waters). Because of the complications I had with my first epidural experience, I was in very close contact with the anesthesiologists and was able to get my epidural in within 10 mins of asking (literally, I asked, they came in and prepped me, and the epidural was in and starting to take effect within 10 minutes!). What ended up happening is a different story! </p> <p>I didn't want anything written or prepared because I know myself, and if I prepared something and it was disregarded in any way by the nurses and doctors I would have gotten very upset! So instead we talked a lot. I liked the route we decided to take. No one ever pushed me into interventions and because we were constantly talking with the nurses, we never felt pressured to do anything that we didn't want to do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-563188 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 09:28:04 +0000 yoursilverlining 563188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn’t write a birth plan. I trusted my OB (and her team, in case I didn’t get her and got one of her partners) completely. I also trusted the hospital staff to act in my, and most importantly, my LO’s, best interests. They are the experts and I was the newbie! In the end, I didn’t really have personal preferences for *my* experience; I was very upfront with everyone that I was open to doing whatever the experts felt should be done to ensure a safe and fast entry into the world for LO.</p> <p>If you are flexible/go-with-the-flow and trust your doctors, I don’t really see any big need for a birth plan. A lot of what women include in birth plans can be easily communicated to the nursing staff by either yourself or your husband. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-563185 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 09:26:26 +0000 heartonastring 563185@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rachiecakes: Sounds like we're on the same page! I think my final six priorities were (1) Hospital birth (2) Vaginal birth (3) Breastfeeding (4) Care provider I trust (5) Allowed to have any/all support I want in the room (6) Healthy baby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-563177 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 09:24:12 +0000 rachiecakes 563177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yellowbird: I agree with this! The last thing I wanted when I actually was in labor was anyone touching me- sorry DH. But it was helpful to know what may help beforehand. </p> <p>@hergreenapples: the card exercise sounds really cool! though I never did that myself, it kind of was how childbirth was for me. there were a number of things I didn't want but became necessary (hospitalized at 37 weeks for pre-e, baby had to be manually turned during labor, etc.). when it came down to it my biggest priorities were vaginal birth and breastfeeding and I, thankfully, was able to succeed at both. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-563151 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 09:05:55 +0000 heartonastring 563151@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Are you planning on taking any prenatal classes? We took one this past weekend that was recommended by my midwife and run by a doula/LC with 15+ years experience and five children of her own. It had a definite bias toward unmedicated birth (which is what we wanted), but it did discuss all the routine interventions and their advantages/disadvantages in a fair and balanced way. I have researched birth a LOT and read everything I can get my hands on, but still found it incredibly helpful to get all the information in one place. </p> <p>The class also gave us the opportunity to practice different pain relief techniques with our partners. I found the hands-on time was really helpful in understanding which of those techniques I preferred and might find helpful during labour.</p> <p>One of the exercises we did involved a set of 40+ cards covering almost every aspect of birth and possible interventions. Each card had a birth preference written on each side. For example, a card might say "Epidural" on one side and "No epidural" on the other, or "Midwife" on one side and "OB" on the other. We were then to lay out all the cards with the side that we would prefer facing up. Then we were told to remove seven cards, then another seven etc. until we were left with only six cards. The six cards we were left with were meant to help us understand what our biggest priorities were for our birth, and to act a reminder that birth is unpredictable and really can't be planned. Sorry for the long description, but I found it to be a really helpful exercise in terms of organizing our priorities and remembering that most of it will be out of our control.</p> <p>And, I completely recommend taking a prenatal class if you have the time, as it will definitely help clarify things and help you understand what pain management techniques/comfort measures might best resonate with you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-563140 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 08:51:50 +0000 prettylizy 563140@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We took a prenatal class offered by our doula that focused on natural birth (which we wanted) and during the class she helped all of us write a simple birth plan. Being the OCD planner I am I then went home and typed it up, bullet points, headers etc.... there may have even been a flow chart created for DH and I -_-</p> <p>I might still have a copy of our birth plan floating around on my computer downstairs, let me know if you want me to e-mail it to you so you can change whatever you want, but use it as a much shorter jumping off point :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-563136 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 08:47:24 +0000 lawbee11 563136@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think it's necessary to have a birth plan unless there are aspects of labor and delivery that you feel very strongly about. Even then, if it's only one or two things, you can just let them be known--you don't have to write it down. My SIL had an extensive birth plan and freaked the eff out when things weren't going according to her plan. Labor is unpredictable, so sometimes a birth plan may cause more stress than good. Here is my birth plan: healthy baby, healthy mommy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-563133 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 08:44:37 +0000 hilsy85 563133@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Honeybee: exactly this! I discussed my birth preferences with my OB and didn't feel the need to write a birth plan. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-563124 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 08:38:48 +0000 yellowbird 563124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I suggest just being informed on what your options are, but dont make any hard decisions til you're there. You never know what your experience will be like, or what you will need to get through it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-563105 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 08:15:13 +0000 heffalump 563105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't write a birth plan. I talked to my doctor about certain things, but for the most part I was pretty flexible. I knew that they weren't going to give me a csection unless it was necessary so I didn't feel the need to put something like that in writing. </p> <p>The only thing I really really wanted was skin to skin right after, and I just made sure to verbalize that and I made sure my DH knew to verbalize that in case I wasn't up to it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-563097 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 08:06:11 +0000 PurpleUnicorn 563097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i didnt do a lot of research on my own, but i found the classes at the hospital covered all my options and from there i figured out what i wanted to do, although i never wrote an official plan....and of course it all went to hell because i ended up getting a c section which was the one thing i truly did not want! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-563090 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 07:59:26 +0000 Honeybee 563090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you're looking for a starting point, your healthcare provider is the perfect person to have a discussion with about your options/preferences. In some cases, your doctor or hospital will already have a policy or preference in place, and s/he should be able to explain that to you. In other cases, your doctor should be able to explain what your options are and why one might be more desirable than others to help you make a decision. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-563083 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 07:52:58 +0000 loveisstrange 563083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@katiew92081: Yeah, I live in the UK and they are much more "natural friendly" than the US.</p> <p>@shopaholic: Maybe just do some research and decide what it is that you want and maybe have a discussion with your SO/birth partner so that they know what your wishes are and can advocate for you if you are in a position where you can't do it for yourself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-563079 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 07:47:20 +0000 Dandelion 563079@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@zippylef: Yeah, some for me...my midwife has been taking care of me my entire pregnancy, and at the birth center I'm delivering at, their standard of care is pretty much parallel to what I want. They automatically delay clamping, they offer dh or me to catch the baby, don't have all the drugs on hand, don't augment by AROM and other things that I would be telling a hospital I don't want. The only thing I have had to do was sign a waiver for the eye gunk and decline taking my placenta home with me. Those are already signed and in writing, so that's all I feel I need for it.</p> <p>@shopaholic: I agree with just making clear the things you feel strongly about. But, I would still read up on it all, so when the time comes for a decision to be made about something else, know what the risks are and be informed and know that you can deny consent for almost everything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-563073 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 07:37:33 +0000 loveisstrange 563073@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: I agree with you too. I had strong preferences and didn't do a birth plan though. My midwife had treated me throughout my pregnancy, she knew what I wanted... the whole process was just totally unnecessary for me. I think that if it's not something you feel is absolutely essential, then it's just another thing to stress out about when you dont need to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-563029 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 04:53:59 +0000 Arden 563029@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@zippylef: I sort of agree with you - if a person doesn't have any specific preferences, there is no reason for them to have a birth plan.</p> <p>However, I think it's incredibly important for women to be informed about their labors - they need to know what to expect going in and through the process of that research, I think most people will come away with preferences and desires. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-563026 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 04:41:24 +0000 loveisstrange 563026@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@shopaholic: Honestly, unless there is something you feel really strongly about... Is the birth plan really necessary? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-563001 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 02:12:47 +0000 shopaholic 563001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: Thanks for the tip! I think I am pretty easy, go-with-the-flow and prefer a short and sweet birth plan myself! </p> <p>@mrsjyw: Laboring longer at home is a tip I did get from my Dr. cousin and his wife. I will definitely try to stay in the comfort of my own home as long as I can! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-562997 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 01:55:14 +0000 mrsjyw 562997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I honestly ddint write one and kind of went into it blind. Only thing I wanted to avoid was csect.</p> <p>I ended gettimg a morphine drip before epidural.</p> <p>Now that I know better if we're blessed with #2 in the future id loke to labor longer at home, get an iv/epi as late into labor as possible (or else attempt natural). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-562996 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 01:52:59 +0000 Arden 562996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One tip: Only put things you really care about on your birth plan. Keep it to the things that are most important to you, or those things will get lost in the cloud of unimportant details. </p> <p>Keep it to one page, two max. It needs to be something a L&amp;D nurse and busy OB or midwife can quickly read through and discuss with you - if it's too long they may get bogged down and just glance at it and you'll end up with a provider that doesn't know what is important to you in your labor. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-562988 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 01:38:00 +0000 sarac 562988@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, basically, you read up. You learn about the pros and cons, you read birth stories and find ones that you like and ones that you don't. You maybe watch videos of different kinds of births and talk to your friends and family about the experiences they have.</p> <p>And then you know exactly what you want, and you write a birth plan and work to have the best shot at getting it. And 'what you want' might be 'get the baby out safely' or 'a waterbirth at home' or 'a perfect pain free epidural birth' or 'a hypnobirth' or even 'a scheduled csection for medical reasons'. It can be 'whatever my doctor/midwife thinks is safest and easist'. You don't have to go into labor with a plan for exactly what to do to proceed. You can certainly do that, or you can just decide to go with the flow and let people you trust lead you. All of these options are awesome. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-562981 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 01:01:38 +0000 Arden 562981@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As tedious as it is, you need to do your research on each aspect and see what is best for you and your baby in regards to every common aspect of birth. </p> <p>Go through each procedure/drug/option and search for the studies and articles that can help you decide what choice is best for you. Just because something is commonly done or widely accepted does not mean it's scientifically backed.</p> <p>If you have a doula, she can help provide you with the information you need (studies, articles, etc) to make those choices, and then help you refine the things most important to you into a streamlined and clear birth plan that won't overwhelm the hospital staff. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-562976 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 00:36:04 +0000 runsyellowlites 562976@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I read alot of studies on risk vs. benefit &amp; outcomes of pretty much every common birth practice whether natural or medical method. From there I was able to decide what I wanted, what I would accept, &amp; how/when I would accept it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-plan-choices-how-do-you-know#post-562973 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 00:25:59 +0000 shopaholic 562973@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been combing through past threads and online for birth plan examples. The simplest seems to be the 6 page checkbox template from The Bump. BUT - I'm so confused?! I've never been in labor before! I have no idea what I will want when the time comes! </p> <p>How do/did you know what you'd like for "Labor Augmentation", for "Pain Relief", and when &amp; what type of drugs you would/wouldn't want? It's all rather overwhelming!</p> <p>Any tips would be appreciated! </p>