https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 07 Apr 2026 05:27:14 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-and-issues-with-obs-office#post-2522675 Tue, 12 Apr 2016 14:44:38 +0000 avivoca 2522675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry that you had such a traumatic labor and that your doctors have been so dismissive of your feelings. I see a midwife and I only had three cervical checks, all while I was in labor. The nurses who performed them were very kind and as gentle as they could be because that area was very sensitive. Your doctors should respect your wishes for no cervical checks unless absolutely needed.</p> <p>Are you open to switching to a midwife/OB practice? CNM's cannot perform csections but if I needed one, she would be in the OR with me while the OB performed the surgery. They also won't do cervical checks leading up to labor (though this may be my particular practice). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-and-issues-with-obs-office#post-2522636 Tue, 12 Apr 2016 14:22:55 +0000 JenGirl 2522636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Since you likely won't have more interaction with the MFM, I wouldn't stress too much about her. But I think this is absolutely something that you need to discuss with your regular OB and anyone else who would potentially be treating you if you went into labor. I think there needs to be a balance. They need to be willing to not do cervical exams if they aren't absolutely necessary and they need to be willing to talk it through with you if it is absolutely necessary. But you will also need to be open to the possibility of an exam in the unlikely scenario that it is absolutely medically necessary. I agree that seeing someone to try to work through some of your birth trauma might help with that and with the entire pregnancy, in general. Ultimately you need to be with a provider that you trust to be honest about when checks are optional or when they are absolutely necessary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-and-issues-with-obs-office#post-2522617 Tue, 12 Apr 2016 14:04:14 +0000 LulaBee 2522617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Jumping on the EMDR bandwagon- I have done that previously and it was helpful... but this time around I did brainspotting... found it to be less traumatic than EMDR. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-and-issues-with-obs-office#post-2522564 Tue, 12 Apr 2016 13:29:48 +0000 Rocker2014 2522564@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I have no advice on the medical issue, but just want to chime in and agree with @Silva: EMDR could be very helpful for you - very effective in a short time frame for some. I thought of it as soon as I read your post. It may be worth checking out if you're open to therapy of any kind. It is quite unlike traditional "talk therapy."</p> <p>(I will mention, some EMDR therapists are uncomfortable working with someone who is pregnant, so be sure to disclose that to any potential therapist.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-and-issues-with-obs-office#post-2522467 Tue, 12 Apr 2016 12:27:36 +0000 MtnBiker 2522467@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: do you have someone who can go with you to appointments and help advocate for you? I know if we have another I will have DH ready to reiterate my preferences/concerns/questions. I did not feel listened to at all throughout the process. I'm all for getting the information needed to make informed medical decisions, but I expected to be treated like an adult and not a 4 year old. I was scolded for reacting poorly to a particularly painful check during my induction, and if I ever see that doctor again so help me... someone hold me back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-and-issues-with-obs-office#post-2522452 Tue, 12 Apr 2016 12:19:55 +0000 pinkb 2522452@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: oh no it's not silly at all! Just wondered if they were bringing it up for a reason. Just seems mean to tell you that with no specific risk to go preterm. I mean it's good to be prepared but maybe the dr needed a lot more tact in the delivery of the information. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-and-issues-with-obs-office#post-2522451 Tue, 12 Apr 2016 12:17:49 +0000 Silva 2522451@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for what you experienced. Your doctors should be sensitive to your wishes.</p> <p>Have you sought treatment for your PTSD? You might consider exploring a therapist trained in EMDR. this is a type of therapy that can help resolve trauma, especially acute trauma like you experienced. It can work effectively and quickly if you find the right therapist. It might help prepare you for any of the possible interventions you could need during your next labor and delivery. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-and-issues-with-obs-office#post-2522448 Tue, 12 Apr 2016 12:15:54 +0000 ShootingStar 2522448@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pinkb: I don't really have a reason to be concerned about pre-term labor, so this may all be kind of silly to get worried about. I did have a lot of contractions and false starts to labor with DS, but that didn't start until I was full term. And then I never really dilated, even with contractions on pitocin. </p> <p>@Truth Bombs: It's not really about being open minded :bummed: . It's that certain things make me completely panic, shake, cry, etc. It's not really a logical reaction. And the thought of subjecting myself to feeling like that again puts this feeling of dread in my stomach. So if I have a choice or if they're not medically necessary, I'd like to know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-and-issues-with-obs-office#post-2522441 Tue, 12 Apr 2016 12:09:09 +0000 pinkb 2522441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have advice on the trauma but I hope you can get the support from your provider.<br /> I can say I went into preterm labor at 32 weeks and once they saw I was having regular contraction (I couldn't feel them) they did a cervical check to confirm I was dilating from them. The contraction were not the main concern it was were they being productive enough to dialate. I am not sure what other means they would have to confirm dilation. Maybe do it yourself? Are they concerned you would have preterm labor? Or are they talking just in case type sinarios? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-and-issues-with-obs-office#post-2522435 Tue, 12 Apr 2016 12:04:49 +0000 Truth Bombs 2522435@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With my first child I had preterm contractions starting at 26 weeks. The contractions continued until I had the baby at 40+1. But, I was allowed to continue working (but be on bed rest the rest of the day) and did not have to stay in the hospital, because they were able to confirm through vaginal ultrasound that my cervix was not shortening or opening. I'm not sure there is really any other way for them to know if you are just contracting or actually in labor. Your medical professionals should absolutely be sensitive to your concerns, and work to find the best solutions for your individual situation, but I also think you have to be as open minded as you can about what steps might be necessary to protect the health of yourself and your baby on the off chance that you go in to preterm labor. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-and-issues-with-obs-office#post-2522433 Tue, 12 Apr 2016 12:03:18 +0000 LulaBee 2522433@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry you had a traumatic labor. I did too, with my first (and second). With my second, I actually ended up going into pre-preterm labor at 23 weeks, they did an exam and felt my bag of waters, was rushed to hospital. I'm glad my midwife did that check so they caught the early labor, even though the outcome was the worst possible outcome. I think catching that may have saved my life (even though it didn't save my son's). My actual labor with him was traumatic, as was afterwards when the OB couldn't get placenta to detach (he was very foreceful in trying to remove, ended up with a D&amp;C that I was awake for). </p> <p>So, long story short, I would say find a provider that will respect your decisions, but if they need to do a procedure for a medical reason, maybe you could find a way to get through it? Have you thought about therapy for your birth trauma? Might help with this pregnancy overall... I was in therapy my entire last pregnancy.</p> <p>ETA: I had to have vaginal ultrasounds weekly for my entire pregnancy. It just sucked, but that's how we made sure baby girl wasn't coming out too soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-and-issues-with-obs-office#post-2522432 Tue, 12 Apr 2016 12:03:12 +0000 ValentineMommy 2522432@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sadly, I can relate. I have PTSD from something else (unrelated to birth, but still a physical thing). </p> <p>Anyway, DS1 was a scheduled csec. I didn't have a single internal or cervical check and made it to the scheduled date.</p> <p>DS2 I ended up in the hospital something like 4 times for what we thought was preterm labor. They hooked me up to the nonstress test, saw the contractions, and then had to do the cervical check to make sure I wasn't dilating. I have to have csec's for medical reasons and the pressure of labor would be really bad for me....so yea. Long story short, I had to do the cervical checks. </p> <p>I'm not going to lie, I had a hard time with it. The first time I cried hysterically and was, well, really traumatized by it for a few hours. It gradually got better the more I had them (I know, that's not what you want to hear) and once I had DS2, I forgot all about it.</p> <p>Hugs! You're not alone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-and-issues-with-obs-office#post-2522423 Tue, 12 Apr 2016 11:55:29 +0000 ShootingStar 2522423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wasn't really sure where to put this or how to start. Two years ago when I had my son I had an induction that led to a lot of rough procedures and some birth trauma. Since then I can't stand having other people touch me in exams, especially with their hands. At my last annual exam I had a full on panic attack. I am now pregnant again and plan to have a repeat c-section.</p> <p>I had my anatomy scan last week and met with a MFM doctor. She's not a part of my practice, she's basically a consultant for them. She wanted to do an internal exam during the anatomy scan and wasn't thrilled when I refused. She told me that if I go into pre-term labor I'll have to get a cervical check, which I told her I don't want. She also seemed very dismissive of my issues. She said something along the lines of "We'd have to do it to know if you're in labor. We'll help you through it."</p> <p>I was really upset by the whole thing. For one, I have told everyone repeatedly I don't want any exams this pregnancy. And yet, she wanted to do one to check my cervical length and placenta placement, which she managed to do abdominally once I refused the internal check. So the internal check was obviously not necessary in my case, yet there was no treating me like I was an individual person - I was just another patient coming and going, treated like anyone on an assembly line.</p> <p>I'm also now somewhat worried about pre-term labor. Is it true that I'd have to have a cervical check? Can they not just monitor my contractions to see if they progress? </p> <p>I know I need to talk to my regular OB about this and I really hope that they are not so dismissive of my feelings. I kind of don't know what to do if she insists they need to check me, regardless of my feelings. I'm 21 weeks and I'd hate to try to go finding another provider that will be more sympathetic to my issues.</p> <p>Has anyone dealt with this kind of trauma? Or any advice on cervical checks in pre-term labor? </p>