https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 28 May 2026 14:15:33 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-is-real#post-1240058 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 19:59:57 +0000 MsLipGloss 1240058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: Birth trauma definitely contributed to my PPA . . . among other things, I almost bled out (it was pretty horrific from start to finish), BUT, LO was okay during the process (all the negative stuff was just about me). I don't think I have PTSD, but if it had been LO's life on the line, I think it would have been different. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-is-real#post-1240036 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 19:43:39 +0000 Boheme 1240036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: Yes! My new OB told me I was actually her first patient she would attribute a PTSD diagnosis to. Our birth process looked grim for DS, and I will never forget how scary it was, since my mom lost my brother during birth. That is so much different than just being disappointed about a birth not going exactly according to the birth plan. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-is-real#post-1239735 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 16:03:48 +0000 deerylou 1239735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: My sentiments exactly (including legitimizing all feelings). Thank you for chiming in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-is-real#post-1239721 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 15:53:53 +0000 Silva 1239721@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: I've talked about this a lot. I think trauma can be the right word, but we have to be cautious about PTSD. For PTSD to apply, one has to have truly feared for their life, or the life of their baby, or witnessed the death of their baby. It's a criteria of the diagnosis. I also wonder if sometimes postpartum depression is attributed to birth trauma because there is a stigma associated with ppd. </p> <p>I want to clarify, I am not trying to challenge anyone's feelings. They are all legitimate and anyone who makes you feel otherwise is an asshole. It's just that birth trauma is a new concept / word, and as a mental health professional I'm curious about it, it's role in society, and of course, for individuals. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-is-real#post-1239713 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 15:45:11 +0000 deerylou 1239713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have mixed feelings about this article. On one hand, I think anything that advocates and brings attention to the mental well-being of a new mother is wonderful. Too often, our feelings are pushed aside, and made to seem ridiculous, or all due to hormones. That being said, as a perfectionist working hard not to let things outside of my control identify me, I have to wonder. There were elements of my (ultimately medicated, but vaginal) birth that weren't ideal, or intended in my initial birth plan. There were also aspects of the postnatal period that left me severely let down (like my chronic low supply). However, I try to put things in perspective. I'm healthy, and so is my baby. I know there are women who suffer from long-term complications from birth, were in real danger during l&amp;d, are petrified of a second birth, or - in the most heartbreaking cases of all - didn't get to bring a baby home, at all. </p> <p>I guess I feel there is a big difference between trauma and disappointment. I will say that I believe it's incredibly important to recognize our feelings, and be met with understanding and love from those in our circle. Yet, I do think it's crucial to seek the support and resources needed to work through those feelings and ultimately, move on in a healthy direction. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-is-real#post-1239694 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 15:26:07 +0000 Corduroy 1239694@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for posting this. This is something I think about a lot and reading it validated my feelings. I planned for and had a natural birth. I appreciate that I got just about everything on my birth plan and me beautiful healthy baby. So I feel really silly and guilty that I have any hang ups with my birth. Labor was (somewhat) beautiful and empowering for 48 hours. Then I went into transition at shift change and everything about the experience changed. I am the woman that feels traumatized by her experience with the hospital staff. OK, there I actually typed it. Yes, I feel silly and ungrateful. And that makes me feel worse. The article made me feel like somebody else understands. I certainly feel alone in that feeling IRL. </p> <p>I don't have obtrusive thoughts and I'm not depressed but I would say I have hang ups and I'm not over it.</p> <p>@Dandelion: You experienced a loss I cannot imagine. My heart goes out to you. I am glad you posted your feelings because they helped me identify mine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-is-real#post-1239665 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 14:57:45 +0000 autumnlove 1239665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sure is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-is-real#post-1239573 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 14:11:02 +0000 Cherrybee 1239573@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for posting this. </p> <p>I was not *disappointed* at all - I didn't make a plan for that very reason - but my birth experience was brutal. Induced (syntocin) with no pain meds (and not by choice). I was in full shock for 24 hours afterwards. It was and still is harrowing to me. Something that should be so beautiful.... was terrifying. My body was completely out of control.... I wouldn't say I have any ongoing trauma but I feel like I lost a piece of myself that day. </p> <p>@Dandelion: :heart: Of course you feel this way. I would too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-is-real#post-1239492 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 13:12:08 +0000 googly-eyes 1239492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: yes I think one can set themselves up, in a sense, to e disappointed with their birth if they place too many expectations on a process that is largely out of ones control...however that is NOT even close to being the same thing as experiencing trauma. i guess i could say i was disappointed with my labor. it took so long I was already totally exhausted before my newborn days began. i wanted to be happy and medicated in the hospital and spent my only medicated part trying to get sleep because the previous night was so hard and the one before that I also was waking waking waking with contractions. But that's it, just disappointed. I wasn't traumatized by it and I'm not really afraid of la boring/delivering a baby again. What you and other ladies have been through is on a whole different level and it bothers me (especially as someone who did experience ppd another thing that lots don't understand) that people are minimizing your experience to just disappointment. They just don't get it. I think it's probably one of those things those of us who haven't experienced it just can't understand fully. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-is-real#post-1239449 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 12:48:28 +0000 Dandelion 1239449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@loveisstrange: Oh, I know...as I said, I know it's real. I just have a hard time with it myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-is-real#post-1239442 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 12:46:04 +0000 loveisstrange 1239442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Dandelion: I understand that a stillbirth is very traumatic. It's an awful tragedy. However, it in no way invalidates the feelings that many women experience when birth goes wrong.</p> <p>I feel like your comment is like me, as a military wife whose husband is often gone for chunks of time, telling another woman that she's not allowed to complain when her husband is gone for a weekend because I must miss my husband more then she does because he is gone longer.</p> <p>Missing someone is missing someone. Trauma is trauma. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-is-real#post-1239423 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 12:26:49 +0000 Dandelion 1239423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have to admit...I know it's real, but I have a really hard time understanding it now. I went through a hell of a labor with S, and I didn't even get to bring her home. I'm so traumatized by that that I'm totally skipping labor this time around and doing every little precaution in this pregnancy. But, if I go through another hard labor, but get to bring my baby home alive with me, then it's all worth it.</p> <p>I know birth trauma is a real thing, but as someone who has been through worse, it's hard for me to understand it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-is-real#post-1239344 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 10:46:02 +0000 MoonMoon 1239344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: oh jeez. If only empathy or tact could be taught in med school...sigh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-is-real#post-1239254 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 09:15:27 +0000 loveisstrange 1239254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Absolutely agree. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-is-real#post-1237804 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 00:36:31 +0000 LittleGBee 1237804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Amen to this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-is-real#post-1237741 Fri, 22 Nov 2013 23:20:57 +0000 Boheme 1237741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MoonMoon: one of them was my own OB :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-is-real#post-1237738 Fri, 22 Nov 2013 23:17:22 +0000 MoonMoon 1237738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: I can't believe people would say those things! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-is-real#post-1237736 Fri, 22 Nov 2013 23:16:05 +0000 Boheme 1237736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you. </p> <p>I can't tell you how tired I get of people telling me I just 'set myself up for disappointment' by taking classes, hiring a doula, and writing a birth plan for C's birth. And that i have a healthy baby and should get over it. RAWR. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-is-real#post-1237732 Fri, 22 Nov 2013 23:13:38 +0000 cyndistar3 1237732@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you for sharing this :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-is-real#post-1237729 Fri, 22 Nov 2013 23:12:30 +0000 Arden 1237729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birth-trauma-is-real#post-1237725 Fri, 22 Nov 2013 23:06:14 +0000 runsyellowlites 1237725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This came up on my fb feed &amp; thought it was too spot on to not share...</p> <p><a href="http://birthwithoutfearblog.com/2013/11/22/grief-and-guilt-the-birth-trauma-experience/" rel="nofollow">http://birthwithoutfearblog.com/2013/11/22/grief-and-guilt-the-birth-trauma-experience/</a></p> <p>It took me YEARS to get over the trauma with G's birth &amp; even though I got my vbac with P there were STILL things that took me time to accept &amp; things that made me feel angry &amp; disappointed. </p> <p>Regardless of outcome we all deserve validation in the disappointment, hurt, anger, or what ever other negative feelings we have when we experience our own birth trauma. </p>