https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 26 Apr 2026 00:13:20 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-parties-at-school-has-your-child-been-snubbed#post-2579115 Thu, 30 Jun 2016 16:38:55 +0000 mauxie 2579115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes and it's no big deal for us :). Most of the popular kid venues are capped around 15-20 kids and with family and non-school friends, there's no way to invite the entire class (17 kids, plus a neighboring class of 18 kids), especially since most of my kids' classmates also have siblings that regularly tag-along to parties. I WISH I could invite her whole class but it's just not doable for our budget/space. The teachers are very good at quietly slipping invites into cubbies and/or we just use email. The kids celebrate with the whole class in other ways (singing bday song, class snacks, etc). Last year we didn't have a party and I just sent favors for the entire class. Maybe my feelings will change about it if/when DD doesn't get invited to a party she really wants to attend, but so far that hasn't happened and the kids don't seem to rub it in each others' faces at this age. Thankfully we've been able to reciprocate invites for the parties she's attended so far. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-parties-at-school-has-your-child-been-snubbed#post-2579113 Thu, 30 Jun 2016 16:36:58 +0000 BSB 2579113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, wow. This is not something I have ever thought about. I see the point on both sides. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-parties-at-school-has-your-child-been-snubbed#post-2579108 Thu, 30 Jun 2016 16:31:18 +0000 pastemoo 2579108@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: I think we went to two, I never worried about going to all of them since I knew they weren't "real" invites. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-parties-at-school-has-your-child-been-snubbed#post-2579074 Thu, 30 Jun 2016 16:17:12 +0000 daniellemybelle 2579074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PinkElephant: Totally. And I'm secretly relieved when we don't get the invite, too. I don't love having to buy gifts and rearrange our Saturday weekend after weekend. I know that sounds bad but we have had a stretch of lots of birthday parties! </p> <p>To be honest, I haven't even done a good job of keeping track of who has invited us to their parties so that we can reciprocate come October :bummed: Makes me not want to have a big party but I know LO will love it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-parties-at-school-has-your-child-been-snubbed#post-2578969 Thu, 30 Jun 2016 14:57:48 +0000 mediagirl 2578969@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: yeah, I like our school's rule: If you want to give out invites and put them in cubbies, you have to invite the entire class. If you don't want to invite the entire class, you have to invite people outside of school - they will provide emails and names of parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-parties-at-school-has-your-child-been-snubbed#post-2578952 Thu, 30 Jun 2016 14:48:18 +0000 Truth Bombs 2578952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pastemoo: @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I really dislike rules like this. First of all, I feel like school has no place to tell me what to do with my money/time/etc. Second of all, I'm really not a fan of creating a false reality for kids. Sometimes, you get left out or disappointed, that's life! We have been inviting school friends to our LO's birthdays since her first one and we've never invited the whole class.</p> <p>To answer the original question, yes, there have been birthday parties were some of our school friends were invited and my LO wasn't. It's never been a kid that she's been close to or that I have been close to the parents, and never one that we invited to a party who then didn't invite us back. I've always assumed the parents asked the kid who he/she wanted to invite, and the child didn't list my kid, no big deal. I've had conversations with my 3.5 year old about how not everybody gets invited to every party, and she accepts that with no issue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-parties-at-school-has-your-child-been-snubbed#post-2578941 Thu, 30 Jun 2016 14:43:11 +0000 pastemoo 2578941@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: yeah, :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-parties-at-school-has-your-child-been-snubbed#post-2578652 Thu, 30 Jun 2016 11:54:31 +0000 PinkElephant 2578652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: @erinbaderin: I've both accidentally done this, and had it accidentally done to me. I felt bad when I was the one who did it, but wasn't hurt when I was on the receiving end. I think you've just got to develop a little bit of a thick skin (the adults, not the kids), to be honest - I think in general we all understand that it's usually about space/money/convenience, not a personal snub :)</p> <p>Recently I was secretly thankful to discover that someone we didn't invite to DD's 4th birthday party (someone in our "circle", but whose child DD never ever chooses to interact with) also didn't invite DD to their party! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-parties-at-school-has-your-child-been-snubbed#post-2578646 Thu, 30 Jun 2016 11:51:09 +0000 daniellemybelle 2578646@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO is not in school but in my mom's group we have been invited to some birthday parties and not others. I don't mind because if you invite the whole group that's like 100+ people. But it has been a little awkward when a couple times I've said, "See you at Sally's party Saturday?" and get a blank stare. I've definitely learned to not assume.</p> <p>LO will have just started preschool a couple months before her 3rd birthday. I don't know what to expect - if it seems like she has made friends at school we will definitely invite them but we may just skip inviting her classmates altogether to avoid this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-parties-at-school-has-your-child-been-snubbed#post-2578560 Thu, 30 Jun 2016 11:11:09 +0000 PinkElephant 2578560@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@avivoca: I think this is pretty common for DD's school as well - and she misses the parties because they tend to do them after lunch. Oh well! I sent cupcakes in on her birthday and they had them at lunch since she is there mornings only. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-parties-at-school-has-your-child-been-snubbed#post-2578558 Thu, 30 Jun 2016 11:10:52 +0000 Mamaof2 2578558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>yes its happened and its fine - I don't invite the entire class to our parties either </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-parties-at-school-has-your-child-been-snubbed#post-2578556 Thu, 30 Jun 2016 11:09:16 +0000 PinkElephant 2578556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DD (just turned 4) didn't get invited to a single birthday party at school this year, and I know of at least three that happened. I'm not surprised, since she only goes 3 mornings a week, and many of the kids in her class are full day, 5 days a week. Also it's a mixed age class, so some kids were as much as 18 months older than her...and I'd say she wasn't REALLY social with the kids until around January of this year.</p> <p>But yes, I still felt a bit badly when I heard about other kids having parties (especially the girls) - although I'll admit I'm glad not to have to give up our weekends to attend parties where I don't even know the parents. She only recently mentioned one party she wasn't invited to, but it was a boy's birthday, so I just told her maybe he only invited other boys.</p> <p>I suspect that when she's in full time pre-k in the fall, there will be more parties (and that we'll also have to step up our birthday party game). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-parties-at-school-has-your-child-been-snubbed#post-2578524 Thu, 30 Jun 2016 10:49:44 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2578524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pastemoo: even if you don't pass out invites at school? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-parties-at-school-has-your-child-been-snubbed#post-2578487 Thu, 30 Jun 2016 10:25:21 +0000 pastemoo 2578487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: his school has a rule that you invite the whole class or no one--that's why we didn't do a party. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-parties-at-school-has-your-child-been-snubbed#post-2578484 Thu, 30 Jun 2016 10:23:21 +0000 Modern Daisy 2578484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is only 2.5 so I would imagine it wouldn't be such a big deal if this happened but as far as I know we haven't been left out. On the flip side we have gone to parties where it was obvious not the whole class was invited to, but I was just careful not to mention it to other parents and it actually didn't seem odd at all to me because it was for kids that my son plays with the most, so if parents were going to pick and choose I can see why my LO was invited over others. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-parties-at-school-has-your-child-been-snubbed#post-2578449 Thu, 30 Jun 2016 10:09:05 +0000 looch 2578449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, it's happened. </p> <p>I think the main thing is that kids will talk the following Monday and there may be fallout from that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-parties-at-school-has-your-child-been-snubbed#post-2578377 Thu, 30 Jun 2016 09:24:01 +0000 Anagram 2578377@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't had this happen (to my knowledge) yet because my LO is not quite 3, but I wouldn't consider this a snub at all. I figure different people have different budgets and family sizes and friend groups and if they want a party at a play place or in their home and they only want 10 kids there, and they pick their child's best friends, then oh well.</p> <p>Especially as kids get older, this will happen a lot and I think the best thing you can do is not make a big deal of it, explain that different families have different requirements for size of parties, etc.</p> <p>We're about to have a smallish birthday party for my girls, and because our families all live far away, we are only inviting local friends. I have a HUGE group of mom friends with kids our age, but some of these people I only see very occasionally. We aren't inviting all of them--we are looking at a small play place with packages and we're going to do the 15 kids package. LO's "close" friends only number about 7, and for the baby there are only 5. So I'm going to cap it at that. And it's not because I don't like the other kids in our extended group, it's just because I feel awkward inviting people to a birthday party when we don't hang out much already--it seems like a gift grab to me. That's just my personality. We are inviting only 2 kids from LOs daycare class--but I'm asking the teacher to put those invites in the backpacks and not mention it at all.</p> <p>There are 22 kids in LOs school class, so that's just too many. Most of them, I've never even seen their parents because I pick up earlier than most. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-parties-at-school-has-your-child-been-snubbed#post-2578369 Thu, 30 Jun 2016 09:22:15 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2578369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: Yes. Parties are expensive! </p> <p>I think I only feel upset when LO gets upset or if I was trying to make friends with the family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-parties-at-school-has-your-child-been-snubbed#post-2578367 Thu, 30 Jun 2016 09:21:03 +0000 erinbaderin 2578367@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We got invited to one that our neighbour's son didn't (they're in the same class) - I was the one who spilled the beans ("Are you guys going to Michael's party?" "Uh, we weren't invited") and I felt guilty. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-parties-at-school-has-your-child-been-snubbed#post-2578362 Thu, 30 Jun 2016 09:17:22 +0000 avivoca 2578362@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not to my knowledge, but they are 2.5 now. I don't even know how daycare handles it. I think most people just send treats to the school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-parties-at-school-has-your-child-been-snubbed#post-2578357 Thu, 30 Jun 2016 09:15:48 +0000 autumnlove 2578357@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I didn't really care and LO 1 never mentioned it but I heard parents talking about it at another party. I figure that parties are expensive and head counts, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-parties-at-school-has-your-child-been-snubbed#post-2578352 Thu, 30 Jun 2016 09:11:06 +0000 mediagirl 2578352@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We went to a birthday party the other night and ended up hearing from 3 different parents (from my daughter's class) about the other classmate's birthday party that they went to the weekend before. I don't think we got an invite to that one.... it felt weird to be the one not invited! </p> <p>My daughter is the new kid in class so that could be why but I had invited this girl to my daughter's party and got a really nice response back from the mom on why they couldn't make it. So, I just figure the invite got lost in the mail. ;-)</p> <p>Has your child not been invited to an event that you later found out about? How did you feel about it? </p>