https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 03 May 2026 23:29:15 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847254 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 14:11:30 +0000 snowjewelz 2847254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: Yesss! That's what I'd do and I would so appreciate that from a host! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847242 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 13:28:59 +0000 PawPrints 2847242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Last time we got invited to a bday party at a bouncy-place venue, the invite included the line "There will *probably* be space for siblings, but please text/call/email me first to confirm, because it depends on total RSVPs." I thought that was good; polite and clear. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847225 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 12:50:50 +0000 snowjewelz 2847225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Responses have been super interesting and diverse. And also many factors involved! Like how some people already factored in siblings but didn't mention it on the invite. I am able to make other arrangements for my older LO but I might say something casual the next time I text her just to feel her out... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847221 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 12:41:31 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2847221@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’ve been mulling over this thread for a couple days. I agree it’s better not to ask to invite a sibling if other arrangements can be made. However, declining with a reason would give the host a chance to accommodate you without feeling pressure to do so...I think. “Invited child can’t make the party; I’m solo parenting that her and her — yr old sister.” </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847178 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 10:35:34 +0000 Mrsbells 2847178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: I agree that it is not polite to ask to bring a sibling who isn't an infant. It isn't just about paying for that one extra person. Most places have packages that restrict the ratio of kids to staff. We had a jumping party and if you had more than 10 people they charged for 15 kids because of the ratio of staff. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847174 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 10:30:48 +0000 snowjewelz 2847174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@misolee: oh so that worked out! </p> <p>@hellobeeboston: That's my attitude too! In a perfect world with perfect people it should just be straight forward like either yes or no and dob't feel bad to ask me to pay! </p> <p>@mediagirl: I'm not sure! And that is why I'm all for details too. </p> <p>I actually need to text her again to see if they have a birthday wishlist, so maaaaybe I'll mull over if I want to ask... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847158 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 09:47:12 +0000 mediagirl 2847158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know you already RSVP'ed but I'm curious - does the birthday child have any siblings? Typically I see invites where the child has siblings say something like, "entry for one child and one parent will be covered" or something like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847156 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 09:36:31 +0000 ElbieKay 2847156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not ask unless I was in a childcare pinch. In that case I would explain the childcare pinch and ask if they want all or none of us to come. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847133 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 07:11:29 +0000 hellobeeboston 2847133@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>meh, I don't know. it's worth asking... I don't think its rude.</p> <p>They know that kids have siblings, and sometimes there is only one parent, what are you going to get a sitter? I think the way you phrased it is perfect. FWIW, I consider siblings in the mix when we have parties at event places, typically about half of them seem to end up coming.</p> <p>Once I had a classmate's mom ask if she could bring her child's cousin, and she would pay for her, GREAT, it was totally fine with me :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847131 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 05:20:36 +0000 misolee 2847131@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We recently went to one very similar. I texted her to ask if younger bro could come and that we could pay for it. She said he has to come bc she had budgeted him into the party count (certain number needed). I don’t think it hurts to ask. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847033 Mon, 24 Sep 2018 12:12:49 +0000 snowjewelz 2847033@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gestalt: I think that's my ideal situation, but to avoid the host NOT feeling that way and instead feeling like they can't ask me for money... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847032 Mon, 24 Sep 2018 12:00:57 +0000 gestalt 2847032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: oops, just saw your post now. nevermind! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847031 Mon, 24 Sep 2018 12:00:39 +0000 gestalt 2847031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: We rented out the whole place, so maybe that's why it wasn't too big of a deal? But if it was a place where extra kids were more $$$ and the person who asked would be willing to pay for the entrance fee, i would just say, "Sure" and not feel pressured to cover the sibling. I would still welcome the sibling to join in on cake and food! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847030 Mon, 24 Sep 2018 12:00:23 +0000 snowjewelz 2847030@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I RSVP for the invited child only and did not mention anything else :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847025 Mon, 24 Sep 2018 11:54:24 +0000 PinkElephant 2847025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: I'll agree I'd only ask if you have no other options for your other child. Unless you're good enough friends with the family for them to know you have another child, I'd take the name on the invitation as an indication they're not really inviting siblings who aren't family friends. This is actually a tactic I use on school birthday party invites to cut down unwanted siblings when I really don't have space or budget for extra kids. That and I turn off the option for bringing extra guests (on an evite).</p> <p>Put in this host's situation, I'd probably say yes if the party maximum allowed (particularly if it didn't push me over the point where I started paying per head), and certainly wouldn't allow you to pay, but would be annoyed/think you were very bold for asking, unless it was a lack of childcare situation - that is completely different, and then I'd totally get it :) However, I'm usually at my max for birthday parties by the time we invite family friends &amp; siblings, cousins, and school friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847017 Mon, 24 Sep 2018 10:16:44 +0000 Alba4 2847017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you have absolutely no other option, then run it by the host. I doubt they will say no. At my son’s party, a few people ends up bringing siblings and I had to pay extra. It was annoying, but I also get it. Just part of the birthday expense... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847015 Mon, 24 Sep 2018 10:13:53 +0000 snowjewelz 2847015@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: That's a good general logical rule to follow :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847014 Mon, 24 Sep 2018 10:13:09 +0000 snowjewelz 2847014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wrkbrk: For me personally, if we have a party for them this year, I am all about information so I would be specific. If space is extremely limited regardless of who's paying for extra heads, I would squeeze in a line that says something like "Due to space limits, please make other arrangement for siblings". If I have the money or the contract allows way more kids than what I have, I'd 100% add "Siblings (add age range if needed) welcomed! Pls include with RSVP". If I am somewhere in the middle, I'd probably add "Please contact me directly re: siblings". </p> <p>And if there is no room to say anything, I personally do not mind as long as people ask in advance i/o just showing up with them. I have no problem being up front with them, or even like well I haven't gotten all the RSVPs yet, can I let you know by xx date? </p> <p>But that's totally just me. I know it's just more fun when everyone can go (provided its age appropriate for the sibling). If I am unfamiliar with the party venue I would def never even think to ask b/c I don't know the details. I only thought of it since I've been there before and I know exactly what the policies/$ invovled are. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847013 Mon, 24 Sep 2018 10:09:16 +0000 Anagram 2847013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only time I would ask is if it was a close friend of one of my kids AND one of us parents was going to be out of town or busy--then I would just explain the situation and say I'm alone with both girls that day, and I can easily pay for the extra kiddo, but it's either both girls or we can't attend at all.</p> <p>But that only happened once--usually, we split up and one of us takes the kiddo to the party and the other one keeps the sibling at home or takes them somewhere equally fun.</p> <p>Also, my rule when I host a party is I invite siblings if we are all friends (a lot of DD1s friends have siblings that are close to DD2s age, and in that case, I invite both). But I don't invite school friend siblings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847012 Mon, 24 Sep 2018 10:04:59 +0000 looch 2847012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is your youngest friends with the birthday child?</p> <p>If not, then no, I don't think it's appropriate to ask to bring a sibling along. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847011 Mon, 24 Sep 2018 09:59:35 +0000 wrkbrk 2847011@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: I am still puzzled about this as well. We are throwing our first kid bday party in six weeks and I dont know what to do about siblings. My DS will be 3, and there is a limit for the room (it's at a play cafe). Do I not say anything on the invite? The thing is, babies are fine/free/wont eat/no extra favors needed. But older siblings are the opposite - they will definitely "count" as additional party guests... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847009 Mon, 24 Sep 2018 09:54:37 +0000 Ajsmommy 2847009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't ask unless I had no other options.</p> <p>ETA: I'm not sure it classifies as "rude".... but it do think it puts stress/pressure on the party thrower that's not necessary or "fair". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847007 Mon, 24 Sep 2018 09:43:20 +0000 erinbaderin 2847007@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would only ask if not being able to bring both of them would mean you’d have to either skip it or hire a babysitter - if it’s easy enough to leave the sibling with a spouse or grandparent I would do that. </p> <p>At B’s last birthday I had a mom ask if she could bring her other child (four years older) with a whole story about how her husband was travelling and otherwise she’d have to just drop the invitee off and I could keep an eye on her, etc. I said no problem, and then both she and her husband and their kids showed up to the party, and I was annoyed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847006 Mon, 24 Sep 2018 09:40:51 +0000 snowjewelz 2847006@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gestalt: Were the extra siblings budgeted? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847005 Mon, 24 Sep 2018 09:32:40 +0000 gestalt 2847005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think it's rude to ask. </p> <p>We once had a birthday party at a bouncy place, and i had a couple of moms ask if they could bring the older/younger sibling. We probably had 5 extra siblings in addition to 20 invited kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847004 Mon, 24 Sep 2018 09:26:39 +0000 snowjewelz 2847004@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: I don't really know them, so I don't want to offend her in the off chance and I'll probably just drop the whole thing after all! </p> <p>@Becky: Ah. It prob won't work in this case b/c there is no open jump or anything so whoever's there is just really there for the party! To avoid the potential of offending her I'm just not gonna ask :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847001 Mon, 24 Sep 2018 09:16:08 +0000 Becky 2847001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So we had a bday party for DD1 last year at a bouncy place. Most other kids had been to a bday party there and at least 3 families brought siblings without asking and just paid for them. It wasn’t weird or awkward, and they seemed to know the drill. Because of the way the bounce place was set up, they paid for the extra sibling before I even saw them (the ticket counter is right when you walk in and the bday tables are way in the back—it’s kind of a warehouse building so a big place). If it’s set up like that I would bring your other kid and pay for them BUT do not let them try to sit at the party table/join for lunch/cake, or get tokens for any arcade games or participate in activities. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2847000 Mon, 24 Sep 2018 09:15:51 +0000 Adira 2847000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: Does this person know that you have another child? If so, then they might just tell you when you RSVP if your other child can attend (and if they don't, assume you can't bring her). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2846999 Mon, 24 Sep 2018 09:13:41 +0000 snowjewelz 2846999@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: I guess it really depends on what kind of person they are! I totally get your logic too. If I'm under the amount of kids paid for anyway, I would totally welcome siblings to make it more "worth it" haha! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/birthday-party-etiquette-question#post-2846998 Mon, 24 Sep 2018 09:12:37 +0000 snowjewelz 2846998@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Worrywart: We've been to parties there before; so I know exactly what the limit is and how much more additional. </p> <p>@SupernovaJ: Thanks!</p> <p>@Jennibenni: Yeah, I kinda figured that... I feel like a small % of parents may be like sure! It's XX amount due at the door but probably more % of hosts would feel bad but be annoyed at the same time. </p> <p>I've done the reverse where DD2 tagged along to DD1's party once, but DD2 was so young that she didn't count anyway. </p>