https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 20 Apr 2026 10:16:23 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2071149 Sun, 15 Feb 2015 22:12:17 +0000 Tanjowen 2071149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybean404: A big hit with my LO was banana pancakes. It's simply a 1/2 cup of Bob's Red Mill gluten-free flour with 1 banana, and smoosh until all mixed. Then I pan fried with a little bit of butter until cooked. He loves them, and they store and reheat well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2070884 Sun, 15 Feb 2015 18:32:14 +0000 AmandaB8 2070884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Remember that babies' gag reflexes are closer to the middle of their mouth - not at the back of the throat like adults. </p> <p>Think of it this way: if you eat something with a texture you've NEVER experiences before, what do you do? Most of the time, I shudder or make a small gag sound. It's a reflex. It doesn't mean I'm choking on it - it means the texture or taste surprised me. </p> <p>That's what our LOs go through when they start solid foods. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2070564 Sun, 15 Feb 2015 10:56:12 +0000 Mrs. J 2070564@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybean404: we waited a while on grains, but you can cool the oatmeal and cut it into chunks. That's much more manageable than toast fingers at first. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2070552 Sun, 15 Feb 2015 10:38:14 +0000 Mae 2070552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybean404: I didn't do any grains besides oatmeal until around 7(ish) month when her pincer grasp was getting better. Then I did organic puffs. She got the hang of self feeding those super fast and was(is) obsessed with them. Plus no choking concerns because they are little and meltable. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2070539 Sun, 15 Feb 2015 10:27:44 +0000 babybean404 2070539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae:<br /> And @ everyone:</p> <p>Thank you guys so much for your comments. We finally tried it--banana and avocado and roasted sweet potatoes so far. She LOVED holding the pieces herself and definitely was eating, but she also gagged a few times and I grabbed big pieces out of her mouth.</p> <p>We tried oatmeal with bananas mixed in and it was really interesting to see how she was much less interested in eating off a spoon or dipping her fingers in anything. She ate a little bit off the spoon but nothing compared to how she was going to town on the banana and sweet potato.</p> <p>Does anyone have suggestions for other foods she could hold herself that would be less likely to break off? We will try the peach/nectarine circle like @Chaosmaven: suggested.</p> <p>How did you feed your LOs whole grains with BLW? I'm super scared about toast fingers because I'm afraid she'll get big chunks like she did for the banana. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2045943 Thu, 29 Jan 2015 16:40:38 +0000 Chaosmaven 2045943@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: Ah, yeah that can be frustrating! When I first started I threw down a clean tablecloth under the highchair (a big one with a wide radius) and used the 5 second rule. Otherwise I would have wasted a lot of food at first :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2045862 Thu, 29 Jan 2015 15:53:14 +0000 Mae 2045862@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chaosmaven: My issue when I give her whole things is she gets distracted really easily and throws things. So if I gave her a whole piece of fruit meal time would last abboooout 30 seconds before it hit the floor :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2045788 Thu, 29 Jan 2015 15:15:45 +0000 Chaosmaven 2045788@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: One thing I did that worked really well for my DD was to give her a whole peach/nectarine/pear with the peel taken off on one side. It gives them something to hold, but they are much less likely to bite off a piece like they might with a banana or slice of fruit. They tend to just gnaw on it, which my daughter really enjoyed, because it gave her control over it. Be prepared for a mess though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2045617 Thu, 29 Jan 2015 13:38:22 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2045617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: I would suggest holding off then on anything that isn't easily mashable in the gums. With pears and peaches I cut a slice off the side instead of through the middle, creating a circle and left the peel on, so it was impossible for him to break off a piece (the peel held it together). With banana, I split the banana lengthwise (it naturally splits into thirds if you pull it apart) and that made the piece long enough he could hold but it was skinny and mashable. As you get more comfortable with seeing what she is capable of, you can add in more variety. There is absolutely no rush. Food before 1 is just for exploration. She does not need the calories or nutrition from solids. She gets everything she needs from formula or breast milk. </p> <p>Please don't feel like you have to do any of this if it makes you uncomfortable. It isn't worth the anxiety! I do think there are a lot of benefits to BLW, but none of them outweigh having a mom who is at peace. You are doing a great job momma &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2045614 Thu, 29 Jan 2015 13:37:40 +0000 NeekieRose 2045614@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@raintreebee: that is an important point! Daycare was willing to work with me on this, although they definitely broke her food into teeny-tiny pieces and spoon fed her things like yogurt and applesauce. I like to think the super small pieces helped develop her pincer grasp! Ha </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2045589 Thu, 29 Jan 2015 13:27:13 +0000 Mae 2045589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lion: that was really interesting, thanks :) I don't really know how to get over my fears of her breaking off big pieces of food in her mouth though. this happens most with banana and pears. She OFTEN bites off way too big of a piece. And so far she has always gagged and spit it out. Like she is supposed to. But it's just hard for me to not worry that one time she'll make a mistake and accidentally swallow one of those pieces! I'm not sure I"m cut out for full on BLW </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2045556 Thu, 29 Jan 2015 13:14:48 +0000 raintreebee 2045556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@NeekieRose: I certainly may have underestimated him. He often spit things out that were harder at that age, but it may have been because he didn't like the texture at first.</p> <p>One thing to consider in this conversation is whether you have caregivers that are comfortable with BLW. I didn't, so that also influenced my choice, and I wasn't going to select caregivers on this basis. If I was a SAHM, I might have been more adventurous. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2045467 Thu, 29 Jan 2015 12:47:03 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2045467@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: I found this one helpful! <a href="http://www.rapleyweaning.com/assets/blw_guidelines.pdf" rel="nofollow">http://www.rapleyweaning.com/assets/blw_guidelines.pdf</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2045431 Thu, 29 Jan 2015 12:36:48 +0000 youboots 2045431@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: that kid eats better than I do ;) thanks for sharing, lots of good tips there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2045421 Thu, 29 Jan 2015 12:32:47 +0000 lisa1783 2045421@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really don't think Mrs. Lion meant you abandon your child while they're eating. Obviously you still have to be cautious. And obviously it's scary to see your child gagging but she is saying to not confuse gagging with choking. It's like anything with teaching with your child - if you don't let them try, they'll never learn. There's a difference between cautious and careless but there's also a difference between cautious and a helicopter parent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2045391 Thu, 29 Jan 2015 12:19:10 +0000 NeekieRose 2045391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@raintreebee: It's actually really impressive what a baby can gum when given the opportunity. DD gummed strips of meat (chicken, pork chop, etc) when she was 6 months old. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2045256 Thu, 29 Jan 2015 11:19:32 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2045256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: Perhaps I should have said that BLW is just as safe, not perfectly safe. There of course are always risks when babies are eating. Cutting a grape in half is a great example. What I meant is that in almost all circumstances, the gag reflex is going to prevent baby from choking, because before anything gets far enough to the back of their mouth to cause a choking hazard, baby will make a gagging sound and move the food to the front of their mouth. This is why sitting up is so important, because that way food can't fall into their throat. </p> <p>I am far from an expert on all of this, so I will try to see if I can find some of the articles that I read that eased my fears. Like you, I was very concerned when I first started, and it was only after reading lots about this that I felt comfortable. I will see what I can find! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2045214 Thu, 29 Jan 2015 10:58:55 +0000 raintreebee 2045214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: My pediatrician agrees with you re: the choking risks and didn't recommend BLW until 9 months. </p> <p>That said, we did give him things like bananas, puffs, avocados, and sweet potatoes. I just found BLW so limiting early on since there was very little that was soft enough for him to eat (I mean they can only gum so much without teeth) but hard enough for him to pick up. So I gave him mostly purees and the aforementioned finger foods. He is a fine eater now. I must admit that I was put off by some of BLW's scare tactics--that your child won't be a good eater if he is fed purees. I mean, with spoon feeding, I didn't force him to eat if he didn't want to so he had control over the experience, and it was (almost always) a happy experience. Also, with BLW, if you give them a smorgasboard of food they can choose from, doesn't this perhaps give them too much control? I don't know. I think there are positives and negatives to both approaches. He is now 12 months and eats anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2045168 Thu, 29 Jan 2015 10:38:20 +0000 Mae 2045168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lion: So I have been thinking about your post since I read it two days ago:<br /> "Basically, babies fine motor skills develop after their oral muscles...meaning that if they can get it to their mouth, their mouth should be able to handle it. With blw babies learn to chew big pieces first before they ever swallow them. Also, the gag reflex is located much further forward in their mouth than in adults, so long before food gets close to theis throat the will gag and move the food forward. As long as baby is sitting up straight (so food can't fall backward...reclining is dangerous) and you allow baby to self feed (don't put anything in their mouth for them...let them regulate what goes in their mouth) it is perfectly safe. "</p> <p>Because we do do blw/finger foods/whatever you want to call it and at 8+ months it still makes me super nervous. I guess I just don't fully understand that "test"... because it seems like you are saying if a baby can get it into their mouth by themselves and they are sitting up in a high chair... they cannot choke. That... doesn't seem true? I mean.. is it? Like-- you wouldn't give your baby a whole grape, right? Because everyone knows that is a huge choking hazard. Even if LO can get it into their mouth (and I am sure mine could). It seems like they could get lots of choking hazards into their mouths. Or they could be holding whole food (like a whole banana or a slice of something) and a bigger piece breaks off into their mouth. Yes they SHOULD be able to gag it out/chew it up if it is too big. But if that was always true--- why do babies ever choke? I guess I am just concerned that if people are using that matrix (if you let them feed themselves while they are sitting up and they can get it into their mouth they are perfectly safe) people won't be cautious enough. I made a judgment that I want LO to learn to chew and swallow sooner rather than later so we are doing the finger food. But I put a ton of thought into the size of food I give LO and I watch her very very carefully because I think we do need to be on guard for choking. Not that it is COMMON maybe but it is certainly possible and only takes one time. So I guess I just wanted to clarify or state my opinion that it is not always perfectly safe... and we do need to be careful in preparation and in monitoring. Or see if maybe I'm just misunderstanding you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2042272 Tue, 27 Jan 2015 14:54:24 +0000 shortcake 2042272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just started BLW a few weeks ago with my younger one (a few days after she turned 6M). With my older daughter, I had fun with making and mixing purees (of increasingly chunkier consistencies) for a few months, but with my younger one, I realized how much easier it was to just make sure there was something for her to eat and have her sit and eat with us. </p> <p>I agree with everything Mrs Lion and some of the other ladies have said so don't want to repeat the same great info, but just want to emphasize that gagging is a totally normal and natural reaction to having their gag reflex so far forward. Just inform yourself of the differences of choking and gagging before you go into and don't be scared - your fear will affect your baby and you want her to love and enjoy food from the start. </p> <p>I love it so far and love that she is learning how to put food in her mouth instead of me overriding her with a spoon in her face. I also want to point out that there is evidence that spoon feeding is possibly even worse for choking because you are overriding their natural gag reflex and they aren't learning how to chew their food in the process.</p> <p>We started with plain baked sweet potato fries, cucumber sticks, broccoli stalks, steamed carrots, butternut squash and pickles. Everything was soft steamed and cut into vaguely french fry size pieces so she could pick it up. I also love cutting things with the crinkle cutter so it made things easier for her to grab. She has a harder time with banana and avocado because she has been mushing them in her hand (although that is fun too and we don't worry yet if she has a "meal" where nothing gets in her mouth). All food at this point is for fun, but also for playing with, learning about taste and texture too. </p> <p>I would read more blog posts on here or other sites from BLW parents to get ready. I wish I did this with my older daughter. It is so much fun and I think promotes a very good food philosophy. I also think that it is more natural. We started spoon feeding our babies when the recommendation was to start solids at 4 months, but now that it has been changed to 6 months, they are ready to learn how to eat and we can teach them these skills and healthy eating without the mush. Babies don't need processed and starchy cereal. And think about it, they weren't giving babies cereal before it became a fad in the 40's when it was marketed as a first food. </p> <p>The last thing I want to add is that starting foods is scary just because it is so brand new for both of you, no matter how you choose to feed her. But it very quickly becomes less scary and so much fun. Like all baby things, the first time they do anything is scary and then it just becomes normal.</p> <p>Please feel free to PM me with any more questions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2042137 Tue, 27 Jan 2015 13:46:27 +0000 littlejoy 2042137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We did BLW, and you've gotten amazing advice above. I'll echo that there is a big difference between gagging and choking. My 1 year old still gags (nearly every day), but she's still learning. </p> <p>At the beginning, I loved steamed fruits and veggies for her. Anything cut into french fry shapes were kept pretty thin (for my comfort). </p> <p>My advice is to get some BOOKS. The internet is a wonderful resource for specific questions, but I think I needed to really dive into professional written books to fully understand the concepts of oral development, basics of BLW, and what to truly expect. </p> <p>If you're on Instagram, I suggest following this account: <a href="http://instagram.com/blwideas" rel="nofollow">http://instagram.com/blwideas</a></p> <p>She posts awesome meal ideas, and is a great resource for BLW questions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2041898 Tue, 27 Jan 2015 11:42:19 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2041898@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybean404: For me BLW was more of a philosophy that I believed in. I wanted (and still want) my kids to be able to regulate their own appetite. When bottle feeding, this meant paced feeds and stopping when he wasn't interested in anymore rather than forcing a certain number of ounces. When it was time to start solids, it meant that I did not believe in scheduling solids and spoon feeding. I wanted meals to be social for LO, so we started with dinner. We put him at the table starting at 5 months so he could observe. At 6 months we started offering whatever from our dinner was safe according to the feeding rules. So, for example, if we were having grilled chicken, I would slice off a long finger sized strip and let him gnaw on it and suck on the juice. If we were having sweet potato fries I would hand him one. If we were having broccoli, I would give him the biggest spear I could find. I didn't prepare special foods for him, but when I planned our meals I tried to make sure there was at least one thing that he could have or that we could adapt for him. He just experimented with what we were eating. He didn't really "eat" solids until probably 9 months or so. He would chew and then spit things out until then. Eventually his pincer grasp developed and we started giving him smaller foods...peas, diced carrots, cheerios, etc. Eventually, as he got closer to a year, we started "feeding' 3 meals a day and he gradually got better at eating solids. By the time he turned 1 we switched from formula to whole milk during meals and he transitioned very easily. </p> <p>My big thing is I wanted him to experience varied textures from the beginning, and I wanted him to be able to self feed. So yes, we did yogurt and applesauce, even those require a spoon, but instead of spooning it into his mouth I would "load" the spoon for him and hand it to him. It was messy, but it was fun :) </p> <p>The reason some people say you can't do BLW and spoon feed is that the philosophies are completely opposite. You can absolutely spoon feed and include finger foods, but that isn't really BLW. BLW means letting go of the control and letting baby be independent. A lot of people interchange the term BLW with feeding finger foods...but really they aren't the same thing at all. </p> <p>That said, you are the parent and you can feed your child any way you are comfortable! If allowing that level of independence makes you uncomfortable, that is okay! The name of it really doesn't matter :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2041815 Tue, 27 Jan 2015 10:57:18 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 2041815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really think it's hard to have a specific philosophy and stick to it. (Although I remember how stressful it was starting solids. It felt so foreign!) Some babies have better gag reflexes than others. I didn't do BLW itself, but I've always mixed in some handleable foods. My LO has always been great about getting food out. My best advice is to not feel like you have to do it one way, just go with the flow and see what works for your LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2041765 Tue, 27 Jan 2015 10:23:12 +0000 mrsrugbee 2041765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely a big difference between choking (silent, motionless, turning blue) and gagging (clearing the airway). My daughter was really good with food. She only gagged badly a handful of times. Sometimes because she deliberately pushed a spoon down her throat. I fed her a variety of challenging foods from the beginning and she never chocked.</p> <p>I really believe that one of the benefits of blw is that they learn to handle different foods in their mouths without choking from an early age, when the protective gag reflex is most sensitive. With BLW they have to chew before they swallow. Purées encourages them to swallow everything which is more likely to lead to choking as they start eating finger foods.</p> <p>There are 1yo in my Jan 2014 group that still only eat purées. I think introducing finger foods early is KEY! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2041764 Tue, 27 Jan 2015 10:22:33 +0000 blackbird 2041764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I basically went into it expecting to have to save her a few times. I was always careful about what I gave her and sat diligently with her. Whereas at nearly 2, i can give her food and finish making us all dinner. If she was coughing, i let her be. I would only intervene if she suddenly couldn't actually breathe. Coughing isn't choking. She got really good at figuring out her own limits. I will say that one time i came close to picking her up and flipping her. It's a lot of trust to put on your kid, and if you don't feel like you can't handle it, by all means, don't force yourself to. Your kid's going to know when you're super anxious and stressed. Learning the difference between gagging, choking, and WHY they were different (gag reflex, etc) were important for me to feel like going forward with this was ok. We had better success with a mix of whole foods and purees, though. I don't believe that food has to be "one philosophy" only otherwise "you're doing it wrong" because while one idea is great in theory, it doesn't always pan out that way. And my 7 month old wasn't great at BLW but certainly wanted pureed food.</p> <p>We did avocado, banana, sweet potato, black beans, apples (microwaved), and I even would give her a big chunk of pork chop or a chicken drumstick to just suck on....also just cooked penne noodles cut in half. If you don't butter them, they're a little bit sticky so they can pick them up easier. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2041754 Tue, 27 Jan 2015 10:12:28 +0000 NeekieRose 2041754@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the most important thing to remember is there is a difference between choking and gagging. Gagging is the baby's way of preventing choking and is totally fine. We did BLW and let DD eat anything we were eating, she gagged occasionally, but has never choked. </p> <p>The best starter foods are banana, avocado, and sweet potato. All are soft enough for the babies to gum and move around their mouths but firm enough to hold their spear shape for the baby to hold. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2041690 Tue, 27 Jan 2015 09:29:06 +0000 Rockies11 2041690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybean404: I watched videos of gagging versus choking on youtube, and I watched videos of what to do when a baby chokes over and over again. I obsessed over what food to feed first for weeks and weeks, and then what ended up happening was that she stole a handful of chili and bread (!!) from my plate when I wasn't looking and stuffed it in her mouth with no problems. The choking worry doesn't go away no matter what feeding system you use, I don't think, so it's good to figure out what makes you feel slightly less panicky about it. </p> <p>another thing to keep in mind is that every baby is different - there are babies that are inclined to choke more than others. Mine was not very choke prone, so BLW was fine, but other moms in my moms group had babies that would choke even on lumpy purees. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2041681 Tue, 27 Jan 2015 09:22:31 +0000 Mae 2041681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybean404: She did best with wide wedges of avocado, wide wedges of very soft pear, and bites of whole banana (I held it for her and let her bite). Also though, for me personally... I wouldn't have been so rigid with BLW. Like I wanted to ONLY do it that way and I don't really know why. I've loosened up over time and I give her everything now-- whole food, "kid food" (puffs, melts, etc), and purees. When I give her purees I do spoon feed her if she opens her mouth and wants me to, and if she reaches for the spoon I let her do it. I just offer everything and let her eat what she wants to eat. I found doing strictly BLW exhausting and its really nice to just be able to open up a pouch of puree if I don't have a pear at the right level of ripeness, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2041659 Tue, 27 Jan 2015 09:04:10 +0000 babybean404 2041659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen:<br /> @Mae:<br /> @Mrs. Lion: </p> <p>So knowing what you know, what would you all have started with and how would you have prepared it? I know that if I mash something up she will stick her fingers in it and then suck on her fingers. That seems safe to me as long as she doesn't shove a whole bunch in her mouth (and she can't really open her fist and shovel things in yet). </p> <p>But should I make the "finger shaped" pieces of steamed veggies? Peel a little bit back from a ripe banana? Cut slices of an avocado? What was the most successful for your first attempts? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/blw-fears#post-2041642 Tue, 27 Jan 2015 08:53:07 +0000 Tanjowen 2041642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Exactly what @Mrs. Lion: said. I read up in it and knew to expect gagging, which helped me stay calm because he did gag a few times. I also kept reminding myself that as long as he could cough and make noise that he was not choking, and he would then spit everything out. It's amazing how fast they learn and the gagging part passes.</p> <p> I did start with avocado and mashed sweet potatoes, which are easy for babies to mash up and swallow. </p>