https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 08 May 2026 03:18:04 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/books-in-lieu-of-cards#post-975163 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 10:54:56 +0000 mrsmate 975163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You can't really go by guests' reactions to see how they really felt about a gift-giving request. I don't think any guest would say to your face, "You're being tacky for requesting books instead of ___."</p> <p>It's considered inappropriate to throw yourself a gift-giving event. That's why showers are hosted by friends/family. Sip &amp; sees are hosted by parents, so it shouldn't be a gift-giving event and as such no mention of gifts should be on the invite.</p> <p>If you want books, I think the only polite option is to use word of mouth, like if you want cash instead of gifts at your wedding.</p> <p>I got 5 copies of the very hungry caterpillar. Two inscribed. Ugh.</p> <p>ETA: At the end of the day, you should do what makes you happy. I think these etiquette rules are getting more relaxed every year. That said, I married into a large family with a lot of older women, and knowing what's traditionally done and not done has been helpful in keeping the peace and not having literally 50 women be mad at me and give me the side eye at family functions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/books-in-lieu-of-cards#post-974883 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 09:39:43 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 974883@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cmomma17: @Happygal: @littlebug: Removing the card part altogether and just making the short request sounds good. Thanks!</p> <p>@MrsCB: I have resolved myself that we will get stuff that we won't what- baby event or not, registry or not. Returning and donating will be in my future :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/books-in-lieu-of-cards#post-974857 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 09:29:59 +0000 littlebug 974857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did this for my sister's shower. On the invitation, I just wrote, "Help us build Baby H's library! Instead of a card, please sign and bring your favorite childhood book!" Everyone loved it, and my nephew now has a great little library with meaningful messages from all of his parents' family/friends!</p> <p>ETA: I guess that doesn't really address the issue of not wanting gifts, but like others have said, I think people will bring gifts, registry or not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/books-in-lieu-of-cards#post-974851 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 09:28:49 +0000 ShootingStar 974851@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At my shower a couple weeks ago, the hostess put this on invite. There was some cute rhyme on the invite, but I don't remember it. To be honest, I'm now overwhelmed with the amount of books we have. We did have some duplicates of books we already had, and what's worse is that due to the way it was phrased everyone wrote in them so they can't be returned. </p> <p>Personally, if you're uncomfortable with gifts, I would just leave everything referencing a gift off of the invite. If people ask what they can bring, then tell them to bring a favorite book. But they'll likely bring you clothes and blankets if you don't have a registry. Even if you do have a registry too, haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/books-in-lieu-of-cards#post-974830 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 09:21:19 +0000 mrskc 974830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom did this for my shower. It was very successful! she kept the wording simple. In lieu of a card, please bring a children's book to help start baby's library. I think most everyone brought a book. it certainly wasn't a requirement and lots of people I think enjoyed bringing one of their favorite books. Some explained to me why they picked that particular book. Now when I read them to my son, it's so fun to read the inscription the giver wrote in the book. Many books can be found on sale or second hand for cheap. I don't think it's rude at all to ask. It certainly wasn't a requirement and some guests opted to bring a card to my shower. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/books-in-lieu-of-cards#post-974823 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 09:19:09 +0000 Happygal 974823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Line: I didn't know this was for you--fun!</p> <p>Since the invite you like is modern and simple, I would keep the wording on your invite about books short as well. </p> <p>I wouldn't write "in lieu of a card." It's not a price comparison for me, because yes, cards can be expensive! It more about the effort/level of thoughtfulness involved. I'm going to take more time to pick out a book and write a message for someone, whereas I would pick up a card during my weekly grocery trip. </p> <p>I expect registry info on shower invites, and I guess the same for a sip and see. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/books-in-lieu-of-cards#post-974794 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 09:12:43 +0000 Alivoo01 974794@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we did this for my baby shower, and it was really successful! No one seemed upset by the request, and I loved the messages our friends and family wrote in the books. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/books-in-lieu-of-cards#post-974790 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 09:11:29 +0000 jmarionsmith 974790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: this is the exact wording we used for our baby shower invites.</p> <p>we also used these library card invites</p> <p><a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/76358444/build-a-library-baby-shower-invitations?ref=col_view" rel="nofollow">http://www.etsy.com/listing/76358444/build-a-library-baby-shower-invitations?ref=col_view</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/books-in-lieu-of-cards#post-974695 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 08:43:45 +0000 hilsy85 974695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My hosts did the books in lieu of cards idea at both my showers and people (and I) loved it!! I agree with just something simple like, In lieu of a card, please feel free to bring one of your favorite childhood books to help start baby's library! </p> <p>And honestly, people can find books for very little money on amazon or on the sale rack at b&amp;n. I don't see it as rude at all to ask for them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/books-in-lieu-of-cards#post-974672 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 08:38:32 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 974672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pink Champagne: On a previous post the general consensus was people want to buy babies gifts. DH and I really don't want people with providing for our kids, but directing people to books (no one ever has enough) would be a good solution. Fills the need of well wishers to purchase a gift and our desire to have a robust library.</p> <p>While a sip &amp; see in the US is not a gift giving event in some circles, one of the UK bees said it's a welcome baby shower with gifts where she is from. Some US bees, for religious purposes, have post- baby baby showers. While I am calling my event a sip &amp; see it certainly could be construed as a shower since we are not having a pre-baby event or shower.</p> <p>I agree book vs card costs do not compare.. Although, I have not purchased anyone a 99 cent card. A $12 book does not compare to a $3 or $4 greeting card. Where cards and books are similar are the handwritten notes. That could be why people have chosen to try to swap out the throw away cards for keepsake books and the idea continues. </p> <p>You didn't mention that it's rude to add registry info on a baby shower invite. Do you feel the same way about that as you do for weddings? FWIW, we didn't include registry info on our wedding; we didn't register either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/books-in-lieu-of-cards#post-974583 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 08:06:52 +0000 cmomma17 974583@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pink Champagne: I totally understand this, but people at my shower absolutely loved it. Most of them didn't spend money, and instead handed down used books to us. In fact, if I remember correctly the wording on the invite mentioned used books being okay (much more eloquently worded of course, my brain is failing me this morning).<br /> Like anything else when it comes to parties and showers I think people understand everything is optional. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/books-in-lieu-of-cards#post-974575 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 08:04:02 +0000 cmomma17 974575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: could you print it on the back?<br /> In lieu of cards, please bring a favorite children's book. Or "help us build baby Lemon-Lime's library"</p> <p>You know, I did receive duplicate books, but the duplicates were at my non-book shower. So I had a signed copy of the Lorax or Goodnight Moon and then an unsigned one. So I exchanged the unsigned ones. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/books-in-lieu-of-cards#post-974570 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 08:02:40 +0000 regberadaisy 974570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pink Champagne: this is why we nixed the book in lieu of card idea at my shower. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/books-in-lieu-of-cards#post-974562 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 07:59:05 +0000 Pink Champagne 974562@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do not think that cards and children's books are comparable in cost, so I kind of feel that asking anything in lieu of is kind of rude ("Don't bring us a $0.99 card wishing us well! Please spend $5-$15 on a book we can use instead!") What about a cute saying or poem that says something about how you want to share the gifts of books and reading with your child? Or better yet, let people bring their own gift of their choosing or not one at all? Gifts after all are not required at a sip and see...I just think you need to find a way to encourage the idea of books without asking for them/demanding them from each and every party guest. Kind of how it's rude to put registry info in a wedding invite because you're not supposed to demand presents... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/books-in-lieu-of-cards#post-974549 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 07:54:45 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 974549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: Total drool worthy buffet spread and book shower. I like the bookmark idea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/books-in-lieu-of-cards#post-974542 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 07:52:43 +0000 Charm54 974542@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: You sound exactly like me! I don't have a registry but people started asking my sister what I wanted so I gave her a few things that we need and she passed them on. </p> <p>She made up the invitations for my shower and on the bottom it said something like "As we all know, Char54 is a book fanatic. If you would like to add to Baby's library, bring a book instead of a card and write a message to baby inside." </p> <p>I plan on doing a Book Wall in the nursery and so the books from my baby shower will help to fill it out and I also love the idea of having the messages from loved ones inside! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/books-in-lieu-of-cards#post-974486 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 07:31:42 +0000 regberadaisy 974486@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: what about inserting a bookmark with the invite? It can be cutesy and not over bearing? You can totally DIY it print it on 8 1/2 x 11 and cut to size!</p> <p>Totally love this:<br /> <a href="http://www.nwedible.com/2013/05/throwing-a-childrens-book-themed-baby-shower.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.nwedible.com/2013/05/throwing-a-childrens-book-themed-baby-shower.html</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/books-in-lieu-of-cards#post-974481 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 07:29:42 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 974481@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Happygal: Yes, we are working on our first. The game plan is to host a sip &amp; see and filter all well-wishers/ guests to the event for their first baby visit. </p> <p>The only thing we are comfortable soliciting are books. But, if people persist on having a list I will share any remaining wish lists DH and I created for ourselves to keep track of purchases. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/books-in-lieu-of-cards#post-974430 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 07:04:48 +0000 Happygal 974430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know the backstory--this is for a sip and see for first baby? </p> <p>I don't have any cute ideas, but I would make sure people know there is not a gift registry b/c people will ask! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/books-in-lieu-of-cards#post-974407 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 06:48:32 +0000 Adira 974407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would just write something like: "In lieu of a card, please bring your favorite book for the baby!" Or something like that? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/books-in-lieu-of-cards#post-974404 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 06:42:53 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 974404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cmomma17: Your FIL is so sweet. I love the idea that the books become keepsakes. Did you receive any duplicate books? </p> <p>My sip &amp; see invite inspiration is really short &amp; sweet, that's why I want something short. See below: </p> [attach=3033/13/mqqz7i.600x398.6450_37.jpeg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/books-in-lieu-of-cards#post-974395 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 06:27:05 +0000 cmomma17 974395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: my sister did this for the shower she hosted for me! She used almost exactly the same rhyme that is in the picture you shared, and it was written on the invite. It was such a huge hit! People wrote beautiful things and all of my aunts actually passed down books that have been in the family since before I was born.<br /> I wouldn't include a book plate only because people chose all different sizes of books, and some people wrote more than would fit on a book plate (like my father in law wrote a whole poem to the baby). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/books-in-lieu-of-cards#post-974393 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 06:23:26 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 974393@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What is a succinct (not cutesy) way of requesting children's books instead of cards? No other gift or registry info would be included. </p> <p>Would you include a book plate? </p> <p>Attached is a cutesy book request included with an invitation. Nice invite, just a tad too long.</p> <p>[attach=3033/13/mqqyb3.443x600.b-is-for-baby-shower-3.jpeg] </p>