https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 17 Apr 2026 23:44:21 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/boyfriend-bought-me-a-ring-but-no-marriage#post-2922360 Thu, 04 Feb 2021 15:27:27 +0000 JJ2626 2922360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know several couples where they both wear rings and one where just the woman wears one even though they are not married and don’t plan to get married. I don’t think it’s weird at all. That said, it sounds like you are uncomfortable with it so I think it’s fine to tell him. But think about why you’re uncomfortable. Is it the ring or the fact that he gave it to you because he doesn’t want to get married and ultimately, that’s what you aren’t okay with? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/boyfriend-bought-me-a-ring-but-no-marriage#post-2922359 Thu, 04 Feb 2021 13:42:00 +0000 mrsrain 2922359@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ultimately this comes down to what you are both comfortable with. But if it is just a matter of how to communicate it to others, I think you could call it a “commitment ring.” That’s what it is, after all. Alternately, you don’t have to accept the ring or wear it on that finger. It sounds like maybe you aren’t comfortable with him asking you to show the world that there’s level of commitment there beyond what actually exists...? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/boyfriend-bought-me-a-ring-but-no-marriage#post-2922318 Tue, 02 Feb 2021 16:16:36 +0000 mrskansas 2922318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: I think it's the latter. He has gone back and forth on marriage but I know deep down he will never marry me. And to be honest I don't know that I would marry him either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/boyfriend-bought-me-a-ring-but-no-marriage#post-2922317 Tue, 02 Feb 2021 16:12:13 +0000 Chuckles 2922317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrskansas: That fact that it's clearly an engagement ring makes this more confusing for sure. Do you think that maybe he is warming up to the idea of getting married but didn't want to make a real commitment? Or do you think that he had the sense that you wanted more and thought this would be a way to, for lack of a better word, placate you? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/boyfriend-bought-me-a-ring-but-no-marriage#post-2922314 Tue, 02 Feb 2021 16:03:06 +0000 mrskansas 2922314@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He did tell me a few hours after he gave me the ring "You know I love you even though I don't want to get married right?"<br /> Honestly I'm still kinda rolling my eyes at that comment </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/boyfriend-bought-me-a-ring-but-no-marriage#post-2922313 Tue, 02 Feb 2021 16:01:42 +0000 mrskansas 2922313@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mommy Finger: Yep it's a diamond ring that looks like any other engagement ring. We had briefly discussed a ring in the past because he knows I like to wear jewelry but no special occasion </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/boyfriend-bought-me-a-ring-but-no-marriage#post-2922312 Tue, 02 Feb 2021 15:55:34 +0000 Mommy Finger 2922312@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Out of curiosity...does it look like a standard diamond engagement ring? I know in the end, it doesn't matter and maybe I'm just trying to wrap my head around this whole thing. Also, did he give this to you out of the blue or what there a special occasion? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/boyfriend-bought-me-a-ring-but-no-marriage#post-2922311 Tue, 02 Feb 2021 14:57:58 +0000 mrskansas 2922311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: I did ask him what I was supposed to tell people and his response was "well you can tell them whatever you want." Obviously not helpful. I know we owe no one an explanation but you are correct in that it will build resentment over time </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/boyfriend-bought-me-a-ring-but-no-marriage#post-2922310 Tue, 02 Feb 2021 14:27:08 +0000 graceandjoy 2922310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: Yeah, like he isn't the one that has to field all the questions cause you know people would for sure be nosy regardless of what finger the ring it's on. If it looks like an engagement ring, people will just assume no matter what and he doesn't have to deal with any of that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/boyfriend-bought-me-a-ring-but-no-marriage#post-2922307 Tue, 02 Feb 2021 14:19:20 +0000 bhbee 2922307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@graceandjoy: this is it for me too. Can’t have your cake and eat it too!</p> <p>I really like the idea of wearing the ring on a clearly non-engagement finger. But of course that doesn’t fit his purpose. </p> <p>Maybe have a conversation about the questions you are getting and how it makes you feel and then see where it goes? This would definitely bother me, to me it’s really unfair to have it kind of thrown in your face (by seeing the ring on that finger or hearing comments about it) and if it were me, I think that would grate on me over time and cause brewing tension that would be bad for the relationship. Not saying that’s necessarily how you feel, but that’s what it would do to me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/boyfriend-bought-me-a-ring-but-no-marriage#post-2922305 Tue, 02 Feb 2021 14:10:44 +0000 cake2017 2922305@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: I agree with you!@mrskansas: I would let him know and do what agold suggested- a different hand/finger! Also you are young and maybe you will change your mind! Reference the mortgage, there’s always a way out lol if it comes to that but for now I don’t think you are there but communication is key and expressing how you feel would be helpful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/boyfriend-bought-me-a-ring-but-no-marriage#post-2922299 Tue, 02 Feb 2021 13:54:02 +0000 mrskansas 2922299@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: He has said that it is a "significant other" ring... whatever that means. I am not thrilled about never getting married but I do realize that to some extent it's just a piece of paper. We are committed to each other and both of our names are on the mortgage so we are kinda "stuck" for a while regardless lol... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/boyfriend-bought-me-a-ring-but-no-marriage#post-2922297 Tue, 02 Feb 2021 13:51:07 +0000 graceandjoy 2922297@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like you were both on the same page but him choosing to get you a ring, and specifically saying he wants it to be a sign that you are taken, but yet he doesn't want to get married, is the problem. I would be bothered too. Like you want me to be unavailable, but you won't completely take me off the market :meh: </p> <p>In the end, not a huuuge deal but I understand why you're irked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/boyfriend-bought-me-a-ring-but-no-marriage#post-2922295 Tue, 02 Feb 2021 13:49:28 +0000 Chuckles 2922295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: That is a great solution!<br /> @mrskansas: It sounds like you've had a conversation about both of your intentions and feelings about the ring and what it means. Is that correct? Otherwise it might be good to clear the air and make sure you're both on the same page. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/boyfriend-bought-me-a-ring-but-no-marriage#post-2922291 Tue, 02 Feb 2021 12:53:46 +0000 agold 2922291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's always fun to get jewelry and I hope you love the ring! I'm not in your same position, but I have a good friend who is close to being there. I wouldn't wear the ring on your left finger. No reason to let your boyfriend pretend to be married to you when he isn't and you want to be. And no reason for you to settle. You are so young. If you want to get remarried, find someone who wants the same. Otherwise, wear the ring on your right hand and just stop talking about it to people. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/boyfriend-bought-me-a-ring-but-no-marriage#post-2922289 Tue, 02 Feb 2021 12:15:29 +0000 mrskansas 2922289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know this is a little off topic for this board but I've been here through infertility and then a divorce so I thought why not :wink: </p> <p>My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half and we bought a house in December. We've both been married (and divorced) and each have children from the previous relationships. We can't have any more kids.</p> <p>Anyways, he bought me a ring. When he gave it to me, he said "here, I hope you like it. I love you." Granted, he has been somewhat upfront about not wanting to get married again and I have always respected that. Long story short, he basically wants me to wear this ring to show I am "unavailable" but it isn't an engagement ring. Everyone is asking if it's a promise ring and he says that it sounds "too high school." </p> <p>I didn't think I would be bothered by this but I am. I would be open to getting married again but I know he isn't. I guess this bothers me because now everyone is asking if we are engaged and I just have to say no. I know I don't owe anyone an explanation but also being called a "girlfriend" when I'm like 50 yrs old (28 now) doesn't sit right with me. I don't know what I'm looking for here.. venting? Advice? I just feel weird walking around with a beautiful ring on my hand that I don't want anyone to notice. </p>