https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 22:16:11 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no/page/2#post-1271274 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 09:51:57 +0000 MamaMoose 1271274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jump Rope: Just want to clarify I have no issue with adults only events. It's just the actual stating of it on the invitation that I was always taught was not proper. I'm just surprised to hear the generally accepted etiquette has changed on that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no/page/2#post-1271214 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 09:22:35 +0000 littlebug 1271214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had "no kids but hand-held infants" rule. We had lots of friends/family members with bitty babies (like, less than 3 months old), and we completely did not mind if they brought their babies. We wrote "adults-only" on the invitation, but I reached out to those guests specifically and told them that they were an exception to the rule. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no/page/2#post-1271204 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 09:15:59 +0000 LuLu Mom 1271204@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's a hard situation, becuase I think a 6 week old EBF baby is different than say a 7 month old EBF baby, where do you draw the line? ? I think you have to just draw the line and realize if you want a child-free wedding you will be excluding some family/friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no/page/2#post-1271191 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 09:08:46 +0000 Rubies 1271191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My good friend is getting married but it is child-free and I'm EBF so it's understood that I will not be attending. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no/page/2#post-1271189 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 09:06:52 +0000 bpcmarj 1271189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't invite any children to our wedding, but there were a few babies there. Some of our friends had babies as young as 6 weeks old when we got married. I knew we wanted them there and I knew they couldn't be away from their baby for that long. Though, my MOH had a two month old and she took it as a night away and left him with her Mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no/page/2#post-1271180 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 09:02:51 +0000 Adira 1271180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've never head of breastfed infants being an exception to the no-kids rule. I'm assuming that no-kids means just that.</p> <p>But I do agree with others - if you have a no-kids wedding and someone can't make it because they have children (regardless of if they're nursing or not), then I think you can't be upset about that!</p> <p>I recently went to a friend's wedding when Xander was 5 months. It was two nights away from him and it was really hard pumping all the milk he'd need for the time we'd be apart, and it sucked having to go back to my hotel room every 3 hours to pump. BUT it was still a LOT of fun and I don't regret going without Xander or him getting to spend quality time with grandparents! The only thing that sucked was I was pumping when dinner got served and when I got back, my food was cold (AND the servers apparently tried to take it away a couple times and my husband had to defend it). I also missed when the bride and groom visited our table, so I pretty much didn't see them at all at the reception, which was a bummer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1271158 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 08:51:32 +0000 photojane 1271158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To me, adults only means adults only. If you can't leave your LO, you can't come. A baby, even a few weeks old, changes the dynamic of a party/event. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1271156 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 08:51:25 +0000 kml636 1271156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was invited to two child free weddings and my bf infant was not invited... I know cause I asked! I can see it both ways, but it made me a little sad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1271144 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 08:46:38 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1271144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A child-free wedding is a child-free wedding. Nursimg mothers xshould send their regrets. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1271083 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 08:17:35 +0000 Mamaof2 1271083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would assume no kids meant no kids - however..... I was invited to a baby shower that said no kids and my DS was only 12 weeks old - I asked her if I could bring him otherwise I would just skip the event and she said "oh no of course, bring him. I just didn't want toddlers running around"</p> <p>Another friend who is childless also has a no kids policy at her house - but again she clarifies it to mean "no kids that are mobile".</p> <p>So I would always ask the host for clarification! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1271035 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 07:34:48 +0000 ElbieKay 1271035@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always thought, etiquette-wise, that breastfeeding infants were the exception.</p> <p>We are going to be invited to a wedding when our baby will be about four months old. The groom is a longtime friend of my husband's, and my MIL is invited as well. It's a destination wedding involving a 4-5 hour car ride. If the baby is not invited, I may just choose to stay home because the logistics will be extremely annoying. I don't expect to be comfortable or willing to leave my 4mo baby for at least two nights, and to be honest I don't really want to pay for a second hotel room and find a sitter to bring along. It will depend on how strongly my husband feels about me attending the wedding, but I will probably push to stay home with the baby if he is not welcome at the reception. I would be willing to skip the ceremony if the bride and groom are worried about noise, though normally I dislike doing that. I guess we'll see what the invitation says and then take it from there. I guess it will probably arrive shortly after the baby is born! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1271029 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 07:26:30 +0000 looch 1271029@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think as the bride/host, you have to draw a line somewhere and usually when a bride is thinking about having an adult only wedding, she isn't taking into consideration how every single guest with children feeds that child (I know as mothers we can't understand this, but a childless bride doesn't know any differently).</p> <p>So, I think if I invited a couple to the wedding, with an invitation to just the adults, then the child isn't included, period. I also don't think as adults you have to attend every single function you are invited to either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1271024 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 07:20:26 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1271024@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree that an exception should be granted on a case by case basis between the host and the mother. If I was in that situation, I would simply say, "I'm sorry I will have to decline because I will need to feed my child during that time. If there was a way to accommodate him or her then we would be more than happy to attend.". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1271023 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 07:18:59 +0000 tinyperson 1271023@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: This. It takes me several pumping sessions to make enough for one bottle for LO. I'm at home and EBF, and to fit in enough pumping sessions for a bottle is tricky. I used to pump every night and would only get 1-1.5 oz. I couldn't get up earlier than LO and pump. She's up at 5. It was just a tricky situation to leave her for more than a few hours. Thankfully, all the wedding I was attending were fine with me bringing her. There were usually others in The same situation as me.</p> <p>That being said, if it were an adults only wedding, and LO wasn't invited, then I would just not go. Hopefully the bride would be understanding of that decision. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1271017 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 07:12:13 +0000 tinyperson 1271017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup, exception. We had a kid free wedding, but two babies came, which was great! I don't know how they were fed, but that wasn't a factor. Our venue was tiny and really old, so definitely not kid friendly, but If I hadn't allowed babies, my friends wouldn't have been able to come, and then why bother inviting them! We only invited people we really wanted to be there.</p> <p>If someone had come to me and said they couldn't find a sitter or something, and their child needed to come with them, I probably would have said yes in that situation too.</p> <p>ETA: I would never assume either, I would ask first. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1271016 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 07:06:43 +0000 SugarplumsMom 1271016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. I would assume that a child-free wedding is just that, adults only. If I had a breastfed infant, I'd either stay home or leave early. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1271004 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 06:41:59 +0000 Ree723 1271004@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: Yeah, it's definitely not as easy as "oh if she's hungry, she'll eat!" My LO has taken a total of maybe ten bottles in her life (she's 17 months now) and there is no way I would have left her for several hours, hoping she would magically take one from a babysitter. It sucks your sister got grumpy with you for taking too long to pump, people just have no idea sometimes!</p> <p>To clarify my point from earlier, I think it's fine not to make an exception for EBF babies; however, by doing so, you remove any right to be grumpy if the parents don't attend the wedding. That is what gets me I think - when people say no babies allowed but then can't understand why parents don't attend and take it as a personal insult that they would prioritise their child over a wedding. Or even better, when they then make flippant or snide remarks about parents being 'too attached' and not able to leave their baby. Drives me nuts! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1270989 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 06:09:40 +0000 loveisstrange 1270989@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. Not an exception. If you can't leave your kids, you're welcome not to come. </p> <p>Adults only events are usually so for a reason. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1270982 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 05:48:21 +0000 dc yoga bee 1270982@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. We had an adults only wedding, and I didn't consider whether they were breastfeeding or not. As in, I didn't ask or want to inquire whether or not they were breastfeeding. That would've been weird for me or MIL to call DH's family friends and ask as they are super private and conservative. So, we just left it at a child-free wedding, and only addressed the invitation to the parents. We also didn't do plus ones, but that was a whole different saga lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1270974 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 05:26:47 +0000 illumina 1270974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say no--my friend recently had a child free wedding and that meant excluding 2 of her close friends who were breastfeeding infants at the time :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1270862 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 00:01:57 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1270862@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: not everyone knows to look at how an envelope is addressed. You may not agree with having an adults only event, but they exist. Etiquette dictates that special information -- adults only, black tie, etc. -- appear on the invitation.</p> <p>ETA: I'm not saying I'm for or against adult only events, but stating that they exist. The industry standard says the information is provided in italics on the bottom right corner of the invitation IN ADDITION to the envelope being correctly addressed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1270822 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 23:10:10 +0000 autumnlove 1270822@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would never expect anyone to make an exception for me because I EBF. I went to a child free destination wedding when my LO was 2.5 months. She stayed with my parents for 3 days and she drank pumped milk. I missed her like crazy but everyone had a great time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1270818 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 23:08:26 +0000 MamaMoose 1270818@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: I think it probably is a true statement that a formula fed baby is less dependent on his mother's physical presence. Doesn't mean that baby and mama are any less bonded to each other. But being the food source does make a difference in being able to be away from your baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1270814 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 23:04:06 +0000 MamaMoose 1270814@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jump Rope: wow this surprises me. I find the "adults only" tacky. To me you are assuming your guests don't understand etiquette enough to understand that the invitation is only extended to those who are listed on the envelope.</p> <p>That being said I would never ask a breastfeeding mother to separate from her baby. I had a child free wedding but specifically reached out to my friend who was breastfeeding to tell her that her baby was welcome. And I made sure to make arrangements so she could use the bridal suite whenever she needed to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1270809 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 22:57:09 +0000 Aimed 1270809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely agree with @Mrs. Jump Rope, it's an invitation, not a summons, so if you have other obligations that take precedence, so be it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1270783 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 22:37:48 +0000 Foodnerd81 1270783@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ree723: I don't think a lot of people realize that it isn't as easy as "just give them a bottle", especially if, like you said, you are a SAHM who doesn't pump or do bottles often. I know my younger sisters have no idea what it entails-- one sister got upset because I took so long pumping at the bachelorette party (20 minutes, plus setting up and packing up). But, I do pump infrequently in order to have a small stash for times when I want to or have to leave her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1270752 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 22:21:06 +0000 Ree723 1270752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think if it was a close family member and their baby was feeding solely on breast milk (ie 6 months or so and younger), then yes, I would expect an exception to be made, or accept that the parent is not going to attend the wedding. EBF babies are very difficult to leave, especially if you're a SAHM and don't pump often and/or your baby doesn't take a bottle. </p> <p>Personally, if a close family member (sibling) told me I wasn't allowed to bring my EBF young infant to their wedding, I would be extremely hurt, knowing that their exclusion meant I was not going to be able to attend either. For friends and extended family, I think it really comes down to the individual and how badly you want them to attend your wedding (you in the general sense). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1270744 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 22:17:04 +0000 Foodnerd81 1270744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yin: I totally did bring my EBF baby to a wedding shower this weekend. She was listed on the invite, but I asked my sister (the bride) if it was OK. Twice, just to make sure she wasn't just being nice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1270728 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 22:02:27 +0000 yin 1270728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never really thought about this until now that I have a 5 week old EBF baby. Although it's not a wedding, I am invited to a baby shower this weekend. I asked the host if it would be okay to bring my baby to the shower depending on whether or not pumping and bottle feeding would work out. Just gave DS2 his first bottle last night, and it was a success so I most likely will go without him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfed-infants-are-the-exception-to-a-no-kids-rule-yes-or-no#post-1270723 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 21:59:56 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1270723@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I work in the wedding industry. </p> <p>From a design/etiquette standpoint, the invitation (to any event) should clearly state "adults only" in the bottom right hand corner. </p> <p>I am of the mindset that it's an invitation, not a summons. If you're BFing and invited to an adults only party, then you have two options: don't attend or pump &amp; attend! </p>