https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 19 May 2026 20:54:23 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-support-for-the-older-baby#post-798501 Tue, 21 May 2013 14:51:49 +0000 78h2o 798501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: Sounds like a plan! I'm crossing my fingers that things work out for you! It would be great if you could continue breastfeeding but reduce the amount of stress associated with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-support-for-the-older-baby#post-797328 Tue, 21 May 2013 09:39:23 +0000 DillonLion 797328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: @Beezus: @ladyfingers: @birdofafeather: Thank you for all of the support, ladies!</p> <p>I'm going to try stretching out to 4 hours in between pumpings/feedings and see how that goes. She nurses the best in the mornings, which is when I'm the most full. Maybe going a little longer will help me be fuller at other points during the day and she'd be a little more interested in nursing. And that frees up some more time during the work day and whatnot as well. </p> <p>Hopefully that change will help me to keep plugging on! I've got a weekend getaway planned for October (when she'll be 11 months) and need to be down to 2x a day by then...so I'll be slowly decreasing the sessions so I will be in good shape for that trip. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-support-for-the-older-baby#post-797250 Tue, 21 May 2013 09:11:41 +0000 Beezus 797250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I de-lurked and registered just to respond to this (Hi!).</p> <p>I have SO much empathy for you, Highwire! BFing was a struggle for me and DS from day one and I, like you, often feel like he prefers the bottle. We have the additional challenge of MSPI. It has been hard to reconcile these feelings with the warm and fuzzy expectations I had while pregnant. Thankfully I am able to keep up with his needs, though just barely and not without so. much. pumping. I realized that during a regular work day, I'm about 75% focused on pumping, 20% focused on drinking/eating/supplementing to maintain my supply, and maaaybe 5% focused on actual work. At home, I’m either nursing or pumping and that has definitely affected my relationship with DH. My main motivator has also been providing antibodies to DS, and avoiding the expense of hypoallergenic formula. When I've vented to coworkers and friends, I've received a lot of great support and advice. The one thing that really stuck out to me was what a coworker told me: "Sick now, or sick later." Her experience as a SAHM to her young babies was that while they did not get as sick as babies in daycare, as soon as they started school they were sick constantly. So I do believe it all balances out, and there are SO many factors that go into one’s overall health and resistance to illness aside from just whether or not they were breastfed. At nearly 6 mos, my DS has had a constant cold since he started dc 2 months ago. No one will argue that breast milk is the ideal food for your baby, but at some point the argument can be made that pumping – with all that means for a working mom – may not be the best choice. I think if giving up the pumping would lessen your stress then it's the right choice for everyone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-support-for-the-older-baby#post-796680 Mon, 20 May 2013 20:35:40 +0000 hilsy85 796680@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: I guess I meant it more in the abstract sense, not necessarily you guys specifically! But like I said after that, if it's not working for either of you, then it's not something I think you should drive yourself crazy to continue. That's not doing what's best for you guys. Hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-support-for-the-older-baby#post-796162 Mon, 20 May 2013 15:34:00 +0000 ladyfingers 796162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs! I know it's been hard. I think that even if you can just do the morning session, you'll be doing her a lot of good antibody-wise. I don't have any experience to share, but good luck with whatever you decide! No matter what, you will be doing the best for you and her, so don't fret. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-support-for-the-older-baby#post-796141 Mon, 20 May 2013 15:27:39 +0000 birdofafeather 796141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>no advice, but i understand wanting to give her BM til she's older. I think other PPs gave great advice though and i wish you luck. you're an awesome mom! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-support-for-the-older-baby#post-796084 Mon, 20 May 2013 15:07:09 +0000 DillonLion 796084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: Thank you! It does seem like that would eliminate most of our issues. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-support-for-the-older-baby#post-796081 Mon, 20 May 2013 15:06:25 +0000 DillonLion 796081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Twine: Yeah - there are a few perks that come with low supply! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-support-for-the-older-baby#post-796079 Mon, 20 May 2013 15:05:32 +0000 MamaMoose 796079@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First of all, you have done an amazing job providing C with as much breastmilk as she's had thus far, especially given your struggles.</p> <p>If I were you I would drop to just nursing morning and night and doing formula for day time feeds. I think that would eliminate all the stress you have surrounding pumping at work, and then on the weekends it would allow your hubs to be much more involved in feeding her. Two big wins for you. Plus you still get the benefits of nursing for those two sessions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-support-for-the-older-baby#post-796038 Mon, 20 May 2013 14:54:00 +0000 Mrs. Twine 796038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had seriously low supply the first time around (I would say similar to you, actually, from what I've read of your story) and I did not completely dry up even when Ellie was a preschooler and not nursing at all some days. I say drop the stress, but not the nursing! Unless you want to drop that, too, in which case, by all means... just nurse when you want and don't stress when you don't. One of the "good" things about low supply is that you can drop sessions much faster without running into complications. Just listen to your daughter, and your body. You'll do great. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-support-for-the-older-baby#post-796022 Mon, 20 May 2013 14:50:33 +0000 rachiecakes 796022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: also, I know it's been said over and over "a baby doesn't self-wean before one" but, IMO, if mama is away all of the daylight hours 80 % of the time baby is going to find out that food comes faster and more often out of a bottle. I literally would've had to hold him down and force him to continue breastfeeding. I preferred to let him dictate :)<br /> good luck, mama (((hugs))) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-support-for-the-older-baby#post-795701 Mon, 20 May 2013 13:26:20 +0000 DillonLion 795701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: I've thought about dropping down on sessions...but I'm so worried that I'll try up completely, so I don't want to drop sessions until we are closer to the one year mark (so around 10 months at the earliest). Something you said really resonated: </p> <p>"I will say that breastfeeding is so much more than nutrition--it's bonding for you and her and it's a form of comfort for her"</p> <p>That has been my issue the whole time: It rarely (if ever) feels like bonding for me, and it doesn't seem to comfort her very frequently. That's one of the most difficult parts about it. :/</p> <p>@rachiecakes: I plan to start weaning around the same time like you did. </p> <p>@purrpletulips: I will try explaining more calmly when a bite happens instead of screaming and crying like I've been doing. </p> <p>@78h2o: It is so hard! I've totally given up on the notion that I'm going to enjoy it 100% of the time, but I'd like to enjoy it occasionally! I struggled almost the entire weekend with breastfeeding/pumping/etc. </p> <p>@looch: I'm really getting a good lesson in this whole bonding process between LO and DH. My ideas about it before were completely different than the reality I've experienced. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-support-for-the-older-baby#post-795165 Mon, 20 May 2013 10:37:09 +0000 looch 795165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is not breastfeeding related, but I did want to respond to the comment that you made above about bonding.</p> <p>Bonding is different for every person and it's something that sometimes, from the outside looking in, we can not understand. My husband and son are extremely close, like attached. This was not the case the first year of his life, where he preferred me. I never thought I would have a break, but ever since my son turned two, he has been all about his father.</p> <p>I guess what I am saying is that bonding is a process, it's not an event that has a start and end date. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-support-for-the-older-baby#post-795163 Mon, 20 May 2013 10:36:38 +0000 rachiecakes 795163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: agree with you 1000%<br /> when DS got his first tooth, he spit out all his bottles and only wanted to nurse - at 7 months!<br /> and again at almost 9 months, refused all bottle during the day and latched onto me at night and nursing every 2 hours throughout the night for a few weeks (that was fun, lol).<br /> At the very end he was already walking (running) and feeding himself with a spoon, and I'd offer over and over and he kept shaking his head no and laughing at me. I was cool with that. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-support-for-the-older-baby#post-795150 Mon, 20 May 2013 10:33:51 +0000 78h2o 795150@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: I agree that you've done a tremendous job so far. I want to be supportive, but I also don't want to see you drive yourself crazy just to meet the AAP recommendation. There are a lot of other factors in play... I think that you and DH having a strong relationship is just as important for her as having your milk... so if weaning or dropping sessions would allow him to bond more and be more involved - and you feeling less resentful, then it might be a worthwhile trade off. I am struggling with the same decision. My DH is doing better too, but I still feel a little resentful because with my LO being EBF, he rarely even gets the chance to give her a bottle. I think I may compromise and introduce formula and/or solids at 6 months. I think a happy, less stressed mom, and parents that are getting along, is worth a lot. That being said, I totally get the desire to bf for the germ protection, bonding, etc., so if you want to continue, I will forget what I just said and support you 100%. It is such a tough decision. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-support-for-the-older-baby#post-795148 Mon, 20 May 2013 10:33:17 +0000 purrpletulips 795148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: HUGS! Whatever you decide to do is just fine. Look at what you have accomplished; she is 6months and you have given her some BM all this time. There is no rule that says you have to keep pumping what about just nursing her in the morning (maybe at night if she'll do it) and give formula the rest of the time; I know you have low supply but she would still be getting some BM. Your supply will regulate with time. I understand the engorgement/uncomfortable feeling because I pump 3x a day during the week and nurse on the weekends but DS doesn't always eat at the times I normally pump so I end up feeling this way often. I think if you just slowly reduced the pumping sessions it would work.</p> <p>I'm dealing with a biter this time around and unlike his sister who stopped biting after I screamed in pain/surprise the first time DS just looks up at me and laughs; so no advise here although someone told me to explain to DS that it hurts mommy when he bites (no luck). </p> <p>Is it possible that your DH just wasn't used to infants? My DH wasn't very involved during DD and DS' newborn months but around 6 months started helping more with both. While he initially "blamed" my breastfeeding as the reason he finally came clean that he just wasn't comfortable with the itty bitty stage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-support-for-the-older-baby#post-795146 Mon, 20 May 2013 10:33:00 +0000 rachiecakes 795146@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: this was me exactly.<br /> I was working 40+ hours a week and DS was quite comfortable with bottles and easily distracted when breastfed. When I breastfed him during the daytime hours I felt like I was forcing him. He'd squirm and cry and spit.<br /> Nursing him at night was awesome. He's never been a cuddly baby and that was out chill down time. For a short while he was nursing throughout the night and though it was tough, I'm glad we had that time together.<br /> Around 10 months he was only nursing morning and night and sometimes during the day but that was rare. By 11 months he stopped nursing in the morning and then a couple weeks later gave up the nighttime nursing, too. </p> <p>I kept going out of my own stubbornness. I hated pumping so much. Once I gave it up I felt a lot better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-support-for-the-older-baby#post-795100 Mon, 20 May 2013 10:23:29 +0000 hilsy85 795100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs mama! You have done an amazing job nursing for this long, especially with the challenges you've had. I will say that some of what yo'ure experiencing now is really normal--like the biting, the distraction, and the seeming disinterest. The only advice i have is that everything goes through phases--so while she may not be that interested now, in a week that could change and things could get better. Or they might not, and she might stay distracted and wiggly. But that' doesn't mean she's not interested in nursing, just that the rest of the world is so! exciting! Have you thought about maybe dropping back to just a few nursing sessions--like morning and before bedtime? I'm not sure how that would work with your supply issues, but maybe those would be times that she would nurse better, because she'd maybe be a little sleepy/more relaxed. </p> <p>I will say that breastfeeding is so much more than nutrition--it's bonding for you and her and it's a form of comfort for her. However, to me, breastfeeding is a relationship--and if that relationship is no longer working for one of the people in it (i.e. if you're feeling too burned out/stressed/just over it for whatever reason), then IMO you don't need to force yourself to continue. But if you DO want to continue to nurse at least some of the time, I do think there's a way to do that too! I don't think it has to be black and white, with her either all FF or you pumping like a madwoman and trying to nurse. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-support-for-the-older-baby#post-795084 Mon, 20 May 2013 10:19:28 +0000 DillonLion 795084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@78h2o: The germ planet at daycare, the AAP recommendation, meeting my goal of one year, giving her the food that was designed specifically for her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-support-for-the-older-baby#post-795075 Mon, 20 May 2013 10:16:50 +0000 78h2o 795075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: What makes you want to continue? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-support-for-the-older-baby#post-795064 Mon, 20 May 2013 10:11:33 +0000 DillonLion 795064@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really want LO to get breastmilk in some capacity until she is a year old. She is almost 6 months now. I am struggling for the following reasons:</p> <p>1) She has two teeth, and bits me constantly these days. It hurts.<br /> 2) She could care less about nursing and doesn't seem to enjoy it at all. I'm pretty sure if I quit today, she wouldn't even notice. I feel like I am forcing her to nurse anytime other then first thing in the morning<br /> 3) She's easily distracted, even if we are in a quiet and dark room. I try to nurse her on both sides because of my low supply, but if I can get her to latch on to one side for 10 mins, that's about all she'll agree to do. I have a slow let down so that doesn't even come close to emptying me or satisfying her.<br /> 4) We already supplement and since I was doing so before I even left the hospital, she has always preferred the bottle.<br /> 5) Pumping 3x a day at work is a pain in the ass<br /> 6) I only make half of what she needs to eat. The other half is formula (and going forward a little bit of solids)<br /> 7) Since she's not into nursing, I have to pump at least 2-3x a day on weekends too, which is really annoying. Or, if we are out, I try to nurse her, she has no interest, and I just end up skipping sessions which I'm sure hurts my supply and leaves me feeling engorged and uncomfortable and upset.<br /> 8) I remain the main caretaker since I have to constantly be either attempting to nurse her, or pumping, and it is hard to balance that with a full-time job and whatnot. DH has had bonding issues the whole time, and breastfeeding continues to provide an out for him to not have to be as involved. It makes me feel resentful. ETA: He's getting better and better at bonding, but I find myself constantly dreaming about the days when I'm no longer breastfeeding so that we can share the childcare duties more evenly.</p> <p>Anyway, I'm just looking for some motivation to continue. The only thing I've got so far is that nursing is important so she can tell my body what kind of germs she is being exposed to at daycare and I can make the appropriate antibodies, but that's all I got. </p> <p>(My freezer stash has about 20 oz in it, so there's no way I can wean early and have enough to give her breastmilk until she is 1) </p>