https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 23 May 2026 09:39:29 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem/page/2#post-687352 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 13:49:28 +0000 mamimami 687352@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss: Let me say that I define "need" broadly, including health, mental, health, "this is not working and dude, I NEED to do something different." There are many factors that go into all of our decisions.</p> <p>But, all other factors being equal in this complex equation, I'm not going to act like formula and breast milk are equally beneficial to babies. Even if that apparently makes me part of the problem.</p> <p>I would never demand an explanation or bitch someone out for FF. When people FF because they think it's "scientifically better" or more "high class," well, that just makes me sad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem/page/2#post-687282 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 13:31:38 +0000 loveisstrange 687282@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Where I live it's the exact opposite. There is SO much emphasis on breastfeeding that it leaves the ladies who couldn't feeling like crap. </p> <p>There needs to be a middle ground where people are supportive either way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem/page/2#post-687251 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 13:26:57 +0000 rachiecakes 687251@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ladyfingers: my MIL is similar. when DS was 4 months old, she'd go "uck! you're still breastfeeding??" drove me crazy. She would always want to go places and do things on purpose that made it difficult for me to feed him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem/page/2#post-687222 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 13:18:43 +0000 SugarplumsMom 687222@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ladyfingers: WTH?! Wow, I can't believe she said that! Breastfeeding is one of the most beautiful sights anyone can witness between a mother and child. I wish I could have done it longer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem/page/2#post-687214 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 13:16:32 +0000 SugarplumsMom 687214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: It's the exact opposite where I live. If you formula feed ppl think you're a horrible, irresponsible, selfish mother. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem/page/2#post-687156 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 13:00:24 +0000 Beehive 687156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bookworm: Totally agree, it's definitely a generational thing with my mom too. My sister and I were formula fed, so breastfeeding is kind of "new" for her. She's supportive in the sense of being supportive of my choices, but doesn't have anything to offer in experience. </p> <p>In my local mother's group, breastfeeding was definitely the norm right at the beginning (formula feeders would have been outliers then), but as we approach 5 and 6 months, the tide has definitely turned and there are fewer and fewer exclusive breastfeeders left. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem/page/2#post-687094 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 12:47:03 +0000 mrskc 687094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ladyfingers: Ick, what a horrible thing for someone to say to you. It's in no way shape or form "dirty". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem/page/2#post-687092 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 12:46:26 +0000 looch 687092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My feeling is that no one should have to explain themselves to anyone when it comes to feeding their child. I really dislike the polarization that this topic causes (in the general sense, not on the boards) because as a previous poster wrote, the most important thing is to feed the child. </p> <p>As a mom, my happiness and well being is also important, and frankly, the pump was my undoing. Had I never rented that thing from the hospital we would have likely had a different outcome than what actually happened. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem/page/2#post-687081 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 12:44:09 +0000 MsLipGloss 687081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ladyfingers: Sometimes people suck! </p> [attach=2207/13/mkox9m.477x335.in-bitches-and-scallywags-aint-nobody-got-time-fo-dat-05cab9.jpg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem/page/2#post-686988 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 12:28:46 +0000 ladyfingers 686988@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sooooo many people have asked me if I'm still breastfeeding and seem surprised when I say yes. LO is 8 weeks. There's also a kind of "wow, good for you" attitude that, while very well-meaning, disturbs me. I wholeheartedly agree that it shouldn't matter how you feed your child. I'm not going to snub my nose at the mother who takes out her formula fun, or say to her, sadly, "oh, could you not breastfeed?"</p> <p>That being said, I was pretty perturbed when I went to feed LO and my mil made a shudder face and said, "yeek, even if I had had any milk, I could have never done that." Made me feel dirty. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem/page/2#post-686888 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 12:02:58 +0000 Maysprout 686888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Two of my sisters friends who started breastfeeding and stopped I think it was because of lack of family support. One of the girls sister made a semi rude comment on her facebook about it and I've heard her say worse in person and the other girls mother was fairly against breastfeeding, I'm not sure why but every time we visited she was telling us how her daughter was starving the baby (who was gaining weight just fine) by breastfeeding. So both of those girls only made it about 2 weeks before stoppping. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem/page/2#post-686806 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 11:43:55 +0000 sorrycharlie 686806@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@katiew92081: I hear ya on the family wanting to feed thing. It's frustrating because when I was pumping in the beginning, I was getting constant blocked ducts (from oversupply) which lead to mastitis, then thrush. So I figured since I'm not working, why bother pumping and feeding a bottle (since I was the one feeding it to her anyway!). More work. Now she won't take a bottle at 6 months. Which whatev, is fine - but I can tell my parents are dying to give her a bottle. Sorry folks! Haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem/page/2#post-686793 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 11:41:19 +0000 tysonja 686793@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>my area of the country (west coast canada) as well as my community are very very pro breastfeeding. we ended up having to supplement heavily with formula and everyone (family, friends, doctors, nurses) tried to help us not have to. in the end, though, there was no judgement or anything like that concerning LO eating 90% formula! :)<br /> i guess all to say, i had a good experience with regard to people's opinions and help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem/page/2#post-686764 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 11:36:18 +0000 Dandelion 686764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Oh, I agree...people just take things so personally sometimes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem/page/2#post-686747 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 11:33:53 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 686747@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hummusgirl: There have been quite a few peanut gallery threads with BF mamas being questioned as to why they are still choosing to BF and are told they have done it long enough so switch to formula. I am not knocking formula at all. I just find it odd that people are so critical of the way a mother decides to feed her child. I guess I am more accepting of the arguments against FF that it's weird to hear the critiques against BF. No one should have to defend their choice. </p> <p>@katiew92081: If feeding the baby is really all fam and friends want to do then they should say that. Some parents bottle feed breast milk and that's a task thatcan be shared. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem#post-686746 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 11:33:50 +0000 DillonLion 686746@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: That's wonderful! I have almost no real-life support system for breastfeeding. Luckily my husband was very encouraging. His mom breastfed him, so she is a great source for me. None of my close friends have babies so they aren't able to really know what i'm going through either. It is tough! I'm really thankful for Hellobee and definitely think I would have stopped breastfeeding by now without this site. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem#post-686735 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 11:30:00 +0000 MsLipGloss 686735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I have found the exact opposite, i.e., in my social circle (in a large city) more people are pro-BF and anti-FF. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem#post-686718 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 11:26:35 +0000 sarac 686718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: Everyone woman in my family of my mother's generation naturally birthed and breastfed their children. I had SO many amazing role models, so much support, so much knowledge. It was just the absolute norm for me, and that really contributed to my knowledge that it would just work out. Even when we were in the nicu and she wouldn't breastfeed, I just knew I needed a little help, and that it would all work out.</p> <p>Support like that is totally priceless, and I am so thankful for it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem#post-686646 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 11:07:57 +0000 MsLipGloss 686646@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrskc: I totally agree re cultural and generational . . . I wonder what will be the new norm in 10 or 20 years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem#post-686642 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 11:06:59 +0000 MsLipGloss 686642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sloaneandpuffy: "I totally get that some people <b>need</b> to use formula . . ." That's part of the problem--the judgment problem. Why is it not okay for people to choose to FF because they <b>want</b> to, not just because they <b>need</b> to? Whether or not the decision is informed or as a result of not being able to BF, it is just that--their decision--and it deserves to be respected regardless.</p> <p>ETA: The most important part of both B<b>F</b> and F<b>F</b> is what they have in common . . . the <b>Feeding</b> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem#post-686639 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 11:06:06 +0000 mrskc 686639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't experienced any negativity about my breast feeding. My mom, who FF my brother and I, has been hugely supportive of my breast feeding. All my friends at least attempted to breastfeed only making it to around 3 months. If people have a problem with it, they've never made any comment to me about it. </p> <p>But I do still feel awkward feeding him in public. I feel like people just aren't used to it. I just wish everyone could just be supportive of one another no matter how they feed their child. </p> <p>Sometimes I hope I'm not making my friends and family feel bad about FF because I'm still BFing. That's not my intention at all.</p> <p>But to answer your question, I think it's a cultural and generational thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem#post-686624 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 11:00:57 +0000 DillonLion 686624@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rachiecakes: Yep - breastfeeding has been very expensive, the domperidone included! Most expensive Rx of my life.</p> <p>We rent a hospital grade pump from the hospital and it was $65 bucks a month, but has just recently dropped down to $52 a month. Still way too big of an expense for someone of low income! </p> <p>It would have been much cheaper to formula feed for us. We got so many samples that we didn't even have to buy any for ages. And, our daycare provides formula at no extra charge, so it really would have been cheaper to just formula feed all around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem#post-686596 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 10:54:06 +0000 autumn865 686596@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think as previously mentioned its a lot of things. My mom is one of my biggest critics in regards to my choice to breastfeed. But I think her criticism stems from lack of education about the benefits as well as her own personal feelings. I was only BF for three months and I think in her mind me wanting to do extended BFing is somehow saying what she did was wrong. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem#post-686564 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 10:46:44 +0000 Dandelion 686564@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think part of it, for a close family member, anyways, is that people like to feed babies. But, if you only use your boobs, then *they* can't feed the baby with a bottle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem#post-686549 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 10:44:02 +0000 mamimami 686549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I don't know if it's that so many people are "against" breast milk, but formula companies have done a great job marketing their product around the world, convincing some probably less informed, less educated people that formula is somehow better than breastmilk. That's not the Hellobee community obviously but in general it's a very insidious approach and it really bothers me. </p> <p>I totally get that some people need to use formula and I know Hellobee-ers have made that educated decision but I have a feeling that's not the case for the majority of FFers (around the world, I'm talking about -- incl. many developing countries like where I live). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem#post-686492 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 10:29:48 +0000 winniebee 686492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rachiecakes: Agree. Not sure if it is Boston, or what, but I felt judgment even when I was bottle feeding breastmilk (people assumed was formula) and my son has been on formula since 4.5 months and I definitely feel judgmnet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem#post-686485 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 10:28:22 +0000 stargal 686485@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: same.<br /> I feel that hello bee is very pro breastfeeding. Where I live I haven't noticed a stigma towards either side. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem#post-686484 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 10:27:57 +0000 avivoca 686484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is such an interesting thread! I am hoping to be able to breastfeed when LO gets here, and my parents are supportive (my mom breastfed us) along with several of my friends. I may have opposition from my in-laws, but all that really matters to me is that the baby eats, breast or formula. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem#post-686479 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 10:26:54 +0000 hummusgirl 686479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I haven't seen people "against breastmilk" at all; like others, I've seen/experienced a lot of pressure to breastfeed and it led to a lot of disappointment and guilt when it wasn't working out. I actually disagree that "moms are not going to let their children starve." There have been cases of babies in the ER for dehydration because their parents were so convinced that formula is awful and wanted to breastfeed at any cost. Here's one example: <a href="http://www.fearlessformulafeeder.com/2011/04/fff-friday-i-had-to-make-a-choice-comfort-him-or-make-his-next-meal/" rel="nofollow">http://www.fearlessformulafeeder.com/2011/04/fff-friday-i-had-to-make-a-choice-comfort-him-or-make-his-next-meal/</a> </p> <p>To me, it's important that the conversation be balanced - yes, breastfeeding is great, but with all the pressure from society to breastfeed (in some circles), people also need to know that formula is fine, too. My pediatrician was super pro-breastfeeding (offers a free support group, encourages mothers to do it, etc.), but I really felt like I needed her "permission" to stop BFing. I was practically in tears when I described pumping all the time since LO wouldn't latch, and not being able to hold him. When she said, "Look, you've tried really hard and your baby will thrive on formula if you want to stop," it meant the world to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/breastfeeding-whats-the-problem#post-686457 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 10:21:52 +0000 winniebee 686457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never experienced any negativity towards breastfeeding. I did experience negativity towards formula feeding. </p>