https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Apr 2026 02:33:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1/page/2#post-2310869 Mon, 05 Oct 2015 12:43:54 +0000 alphagam84 2310869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it'd be easier/nicer to cover the cost for the attendees. I've never been to a shower and been expected to pay my own way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1/page/2#post-2310801 Mon, 05 Oct 2015 11:50:22 +0000 snowjewelz 2310801@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would expect for it to be paid, unless it's specified on the invite, so then I'll either just know I have to pay extra for food, or lower my budget for gift if needed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1/page/2#post-2310725 Mon, 05 Oct 2015 10:43:02 +0000 Purpledaisy 2310725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would expect food and drinks to be provided at a shower. But I would be ok with buying my own if it said on the invitation that drinks and appetizers would be provided. </p> <p>If you do not want to pay for everyone I would definitely not call it a shower. I would just invite people by text/email/phone and call it a get together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310720 Mon, 05 Oct 2015 10:40:00 +0000 Elizabear 2310720@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you expect people to pay for their own meal, it is not a shower. In my circle, showers and fully hosted but everyone pays their own way for bachelorette parties. Bachelorette parties can be anything so if you are not hostings, no gifts are expected, call it a bachelorette brunch and list the price and how to pay on the invite. If she is hoping for gifts, it is a shower and guests should not have to pay for anything there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310670 Mon, 05 Oct 2015 09:56:00 +0000 LilSprinkles 2310670@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @Peasinapod. Also, like some of the ladies said, don't call it a shower. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310657 Mon, 05 Oct 2015 09:43:22 +0000 looch 2310657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do they have a registry? If so, then I think she's expecting a shower and I would treat it as such. If you are expecting a guest to bring a gift, then they shouldn't be asked to pay for their meal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310655 Mon, 05 Oct 2015 09:41:23 +0000 ms.line 2310655@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>FWIW, I eloped, and after we got back my dad hosted a celebratory dinner for about 20 friends and family members at a local restaurant. He picked up the tab for all food/drinks, and all the guests brought gifts (mostly cash, since I didn't have a registry). I honestly wasn't sure how it would go since it was so "off-script," but everyone had a great time!</p> <p>I'm not a very traditional person, but I will give tradition credit for making etiquette much clearer! :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310613 Mon, 05 Oct 2015 09:02:19 +0000 Madison43 2310613@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, I think if you're just coordinating a small group of her girlfriends together for brunch as a send off, everyone paying their own way is fine. But if you're family is going to be there, and friends whose paths wouldn't have ordinarily crossed, it starts to feel like a shower, in which case, I would not expect to have to pay for my meal. That said, based on some of the previous responses, this may be regional. I have only ever been to bridal/baby showers that took place at restaurants (city living - no one has space to host that many people). and have never been asked to contribute. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310602 Mon, 05 Oct 2015 08:52:02 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2310602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I'm going to a gathering at a restaurant to celebrate someone/ something, I would fully expect to pay my own way (and to chip in with everyone to cover the honoree's meal). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310557 Mon, 05 Oct 2015 08:16:53 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2310557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FaithFertility: is your mom expecting friends and family to bring gifts?</p> <p>If her friends are under the impression no gifts yet you and your mom or other fam give her gifts that would be awkward for a friend or two that would have liked to know all of the real expectations. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310550 Mon, 05 Oct 2015 08:00:41 +0000 Truth Bombs 2310550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, I would already be feeling put out to be invited to a bridal shower for a wedding that I'm not invited to (I think it's totally fine to elope, but I think that means you have to be willing to forego the pre wedding festivities). To then be expected to pay for my own food at the shower, I would be beyond annoyed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310521 Mon, 05 Oct 2015 07:01:28 +0000 blackbird 2310521@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If i was invited to a shower, I would not expect to have to pay for my own food, and I think the invite should mention that champagne and appetizers are provided (This way, if i wanted more, I would know that I would pay for it, but more than likely, i would eat before I came and just snack on what's provided). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310501 Mon, 05 Oct 2015 06:23:55 +0000 gracecat 2310501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I were going to a shower at a restaurant I would not expect to be treated, I would be pleasantly surprised if as you said there was free mimosa or something like that but I wouldn't expect it. That said, I would make it clear it is not being hosted, like another commenter said, just to be safe. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310500 Mon, 05 Oct 2015 06:14:35 +0000 Mrs. Tea 2310500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A group of friends took me out for lunch as a mini surprise baby shower/lunch before I had my first and everyone - including me - paid for themselves. Honestly... I appreciated that they had the lunch but having everyone pay seperatly was kind of akward because of the type of event. I Would rather have paid for it all myself because I felt that uncomfortable after the fact but the bills all came separately before I realized that was what happening. . However I think this all has to do with the people attending and their relationship to the person being celebrated. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310378 Sun, 04 Oct 2015 20:38:03 +0000 travellingbee 2310378@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: I agree that if you said it like this, I'd expect to pay my own way. If you call it a shower, I'd expect to have it hosted. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310365 Sun, 04 Oct 2015 20:19:59 +0000 sunny 2310365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had this dilemma for a friend who was having her second child. My friend did not want to have a traditional shower, but more of a "get together brunch" with a few girlfriends. We made sure not to call it a shower and I think everyone's expectations were set correctly that they would pay their own way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310362 Sun, 04 Oct 2015 20:15:00 +0000 WinterBee 2310362@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FaithFertility: I would expect it all to be paid for. I've never been invited to a shower and expected to bring a gift, and pay for food. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310352 Sun, 04 Oct 2015 19:53:55 +0000 regberadaisy 2310352@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FaithFertility: haha 😂 I'm glad you like! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310351 Sun, 04 Oct 2015 19:53:30 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2310351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Clear communication of the costs would be on the written invitation or when you call each person to invite them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310349 Sun, 04 Oct 2015 19:48:45 +0000 FaithFertility 2310349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: Omg so stealing that wording ohhh LA la </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310348 Sun, 04 Oct 2015 19:45:11 +0000 regberadaisy 2310348@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FaithFertility: yeah, if most everyone is on FB then it definitely makes it feel more casual. Just word it the right way and it'll be fine.</p> <p>Something like "Jane is eloping to Paris! Ooh la la! We're getting together for brunch, to send her off. Hope you can join us!"</p> <p>No mention of hosting OR shower! ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310347 Sun, 04 Oct 2015 19:41:14 +0000 JennyD 2310347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm of the mind that if you're going out, to a venue, you pay your way. My friend recently organized a birthday brunch for me, and everyone paid their own, and some people brought presents...</p> <p>If you were having it at your house or a community centre or venue you had to cater, then it would be weird to ask people to pay. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310343 Sun, 04 Oct 2015 19:28:31 +0000 Trailmix 2310343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be super annoyed if I went to a bridal shower and was expected to pay for my own food. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310341 Sun, 04 Oct 2015 19:28:22 +0000 FaithFertility 2310341@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: ohh word of mouth/emails maybe a Facebook event?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310339 Sun, 04 Oct 2015 19:27:32 +0000 regberadaisy 2310339@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FaithFertility: will you be doing invites or just casually inviting everyone via email / word of mouth? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310338 Sun, 04 Oct 2015 19:27:06 +0000 FaithFertility 2310338@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MOMTOLITTLEB: I am 100% ok paying was just wondering since according to my mom why pay it isn't a traditional shower/wedding! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310337 Sun, 04 Oct 2015 19:25:19 +0000 FaithFertility 2310337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It is more of 'organizing' a brunch but this is why I did tbe poll everyone thinks differently, thank you all for your opinions!</p> <p>I think I will speak with my mom and tell her some may expect brunch paid and there fore I want it to be nice and not ackward, I will pay for her girls, see where that leads us!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310336 Sun, 04 Oct 2015 19:25:15 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2310336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think not calling it a shower is kind of key. I think most people do not expect to pay for food at a gift giving event. Is it completely impossible for you and your mom to arrange to cover the cost? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310332 Sun, 04 Oct 2015 19:20:34 +0000 FaithFertility 2310332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: My mom is the one that 100% is thinking everyone should pay for themselves! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bridal-shower-1#post-2310318 Sun, 04 Oct 2015 18:42:44 +0000 Corduroy 2310318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You're 'organizing' the brunch rather than 'hosting' if people are paying their own way. Email the guests and say you're organizing brunch in honor of your sister. $10 estimated per person cost. I wouldn't call it a shower in the email but everyone will probably bring a gift anyway.</p> <p>Having the champagne and some food covered sounds very nice. Check with the restaurant ahead of time to see how the bill(s) will be dealt with. </p>