https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Apr 2026 09:49:27 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bringing-home-2#post-2614708 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 11:40:30 +0000 AnnabelleG 2614708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congratulations! My boys are 22-months apart. The best advice I got (I think I read it on hello bee!) was not to blame the baby for things. Like instead of "I'm sorry I can't pick you up, the baby is nursing right now," saying something like "I can pick you up in just a moment, do you want to sit by me?" My first child acted pretty normal for the first few days, and then regressed a bit later. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bringing-home-2#post-2614405 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 21:58:05 +0000 misolee 2614405@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine was older (3.5), super independent and very easy child (still is) and she did start whining and throwing more tantrums after baby was born. What surprised me was that she didn't act out towards the baby at all or anything related to baby. It was other things...like she would throw a tantrum when we would tell her one last book or we're going to bed, etc. With the baby, she loved on him but was super helpful and showed no jealousy towards him. Thankfully, she was older and it didn't last long.</p> <p>We read this book together called "You Were First"<br /> (<a href="https://www.amazon.com/You-Were-First-Patricia-MacLachlan/dp/0316185337/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&#038;ie=UTF8&#038;qid=1472698120&#038;sr=1-1&#038;keywords=you+were+the+first" rel="nofollow">https://www.amazon.com/You-Were-First-Patricia-MacLachlan/dp/0316185337/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&#038;ie=UTF8&#038;qid=1472698120&#038;sr=1-1&#038;keywords=you+were+the+first</a>) and it helped her know that she was our first baby but now a big girl. I seriously teared up reading this book!</p> <p>Another advice I have is to make sure you have backup plans in place just in case. Our plan was to have her on her normal schedule, attending school, being with Grandparents (who she adores!). LO2 came two weeks early when my parents were out of town, when the school was on a long weekend (Friday and Monday off) and LO2 was born on early Friday. We were scrambling at the last minute, various different friends stepped in and took care of her and she kind of bounced around from place to place and all the change was probably not good for her. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bringing-home-2#post-2614237 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 16:05:41 +0000 catomd00 2614237@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you've gotten lots of great advice. Be prepared for some out of character meltdowns. My first was 27 months and a super easy toddler, too. She was definitely more emotional and needy for a few weeks and threw a few tantrums and was refusing nap and bedtime. Every day got better and after 2 weeks she was back to her normal self. Take advantage of the (hopefully easy) newborn stage to spend as much time with your first as you can. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bringing-home-2#post-2614236 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 16:04:48 +0000 FaithFertility 2614236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: That sounds so lovely! Your experience sounds a lot.like what we have in place :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bringing-home-2#post-2614235 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 16:01:09 +0000 FaithFertility 2614235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you so much for all your honesty!<br /> I know anything can be expected, but love the advice from those who have done it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bringing-home-2#post-2613863 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 09:50:43 +0000 Boogs 2613863@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At the time, this stressed me out so much! My oldest was a bit older when we had our second (he was 3.5), so I don't know if it was the age but we had a really smooth transition. It was really important to me to keep his routine as much of the same as we could, which I like to think helped. He was also very excited to be a helper, so we tried to give him little jobs to make him feel included (e.g. burping baby, picking clothes). In general, we just tried to make all the new life changes as positive as we could. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bringing-home-2#post-2613842 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 09:30:13 +0000 gingerbebe 2613842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS was 20 months when we brought the baby home. We kept him on this regular routine even while I was in the hospital. I went in on a Sunday and came home on a Wednesday. Grandma came Sunday, DS went to daycare during the week, DH came to the hospital after drop off and went home every night for pick up, dinner and bed. Basically I just went missing for 3 days but his routine was so regular he didn't notice too badly.</p> <p>We stuck to his routine except for family visits and everyone basically focused on him. The baby was asleep, nursing, or at the doctor anyway so there wasn't much for people to do for him. So lots of trips and adventures and park time with uncles and grandparents and eating treats, etc. This was really important because I had a c-section and could not lift DS. </p> <p>Another thing is when I brought the baby out to the living room for family time I always set the baby down on a blanket or bouncer. DS always wanted to stroke the baby's head or lay next to him. I think it also helped I wasn't holding the baby all the time in front of him. I would sit on the couch and could hug and hold DS while he sat next to me and he could dart between me and the baby. </p> <p>DH also took over a lot of DS care while I was pregnant so it wasn't a shift after the baby. DH handles wake up, breakfast, post dinner play time, bath time, bedtime routine, and night wakings for DS. Those are all times when I would be tending to the baby in the master bedroom out of sight. </p> <p>We have had zero jealousy issues with DS. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bringing-home-2#post-2613831 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 09:23:05 +0000 avivoca 2613831@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are planning to keep H in her normal routine, which I think will help very much. I'm also hoping to try to do some special mommy-daughter dates with her and spend some one-on-one time with her once baby sister is here so she doesn't feel slighted and also reminding everyone to pay attention to her first, not the baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bringing-home-2#post-2613829 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 09:14:22 +0000 Foodnerd81 2613829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think keeping your older one in her regular routine with the sitter will be hugely helpful! There is lots of good advice here already. The biggest thing for me was reminding myself that as huge of an adjustment it is for me and DH, we chose this and knew what was coming. No matter how we prepared my toddler, she really had no idea or say in what was coming so it's a way bigger adjustment for her. </p> <p>For us the jealousy and regressing started after things had settled down and all the extra help had gone. Even now, baby is 8 months old and my 3 year old has started requesting a pacifier and "playing baby". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bringing-home-2#post-2613825 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 09:02:38 +0000 KayKay 2613825@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lilteacherbee: @truth bombs: i would generally be someone who does NOT want help right in the aftermath of bringing a baby home, but DH works long/inflexible hours and we have no local family....so immediate longer-term visitors it was! we'll be doing similar for LO3 in december. luckily the last two have been born around the winter holidays, so it wasn't a stretch to get helpers here -- they would've been coming for a visit anyways and they just stay an extra bit longer!</p> <p>if you have local family/good friends, i'd just try to set-up as much help as they are willing to provide. as the others have mentioned, whether they take DD1 to do fun things and pay her lots of attention, or whether they help with the new baby so that you &amp; DH can do the special time with DD1...it's all good! </p> <p>i seriously think DD1 thought all of the attention was just for her...it just happened to be that there was a new sleepy baby around too :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bringing-home-2#post-2613820 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 08:58:11 +0000 lilteacherbee 2613820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: @KayKay: Yes, this too! I'm lucky that we have lots of family around. My parents took my toddler to the park and out to lunch a lot the first month. It helped to give him some extra one-on-one attention. They also came to just hold the baby for awhile/make dinner, so I could spend time with my oldest. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bringing-home-2#post-2613815 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 08:55:29 +0000 lilteacherbee 2613815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@whiskers: Thank you :) Super early, just found out last week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bringing-home-2#post-2613800 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 08:42:28 +0000 Truth Bombs 2613800@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@KayKay: Amen to this! My dad was here for three weeks (my mom joined us for the last of the three), and then my in laws came shortly after. It was a HUGE help to always have someone to play with older LO and watch the baby so we could play with her. My dad also did all the cooking and cleaning the whole time he was here so I didn't have to worry about any of that. I didn't want him to ever leave. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bringing-home-2#post-2613789 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 08:29:32 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2613789@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congratulations! Watching my boys together was by far the best thing; however, I do have to warn you that there will be regression with your toddler. My older son was turning 3 a few days after my younger son was born, and while he did great, he did throw a few more tantrums than normal, and I thought we were way past the tantrum stage. </p> <p>One of the things that really helped was talking about how he had a special song that only he and I would sing to the baby. He LOVED that...we started singing it when we would be alone together, and the baby really responded to it once he heard it outside of the womb. I also made sure to make 1:1 time for him after the baby came for just mommy and me time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bringing-home-2#post-2613780 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 08:17:14 +0000 KayKay 2613780@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the best thing we did was that basically all of the help we had for the first 5-6 weeks (my mom was with us the whole time, ILs visited twice because of the holidays, my dad &amp; sister came for Xmas)....we mostly had them focus on DD1. Not to say that they didn't help with or hold the baby ever, but there was almost always someone to pay lots of attention to DD1 (whether it was me, DH, or one of our visitors) or take her to do special things (like skiing for the first time). She also kept going to her school, although they broke for 2 weeks for Xmas during that time period.</p> <p>I really think that helped a lot though. By the time all of our helpers left, DD1 was back at school on her regular schedule and (in the mind of a 2.5yo), the baby was 6weeks and old news :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bringing-home-2#post-2613774 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 08:10:34 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2613774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My oldest was 19 months when we brought baby home. She met her at the hospital but I was there for 4 days so it was a slightly special circumstance I guess. She didn't really care about DD2 at all the first day. Like completely neutral. Around the 3rd day she would say hi to the baby. But otherwise paid no interest in her for a while. I agree to tending to your oldest child's needs first. That was my favorite piece of advice. I have no idea if it really helped or not but we've had no jealousy issues at all and it helped my mom guilt a little bit knowing that the kid that might actually remember some of this was taken care of. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bringing-home-2#post-2613766 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 07:31:45 +0000 whiskers 2613766@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lilteacherbee: ummm Congrats?!?!!</p> <p>I would just say that you can let baby fuss/cry a bit to tend to her needs first so she doesn't end up feeling like she is always second to baby. I'm very interested in how DD2 is going to respond this time, but I think it is mostly just following their lead and listening (verbal and non-verbal) because they will let you know when they are not okay with things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bringing-home-2#post-2613762 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 07:24:08 +0000 lilteacherbee 2613762@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My oldest was 20 months old when we brought home his little brother. He was a lot like your LO- very verbal and excited. I'm not gonna lie though, it was hard for the first 3-4 weeks. My normally sweet, well-behaved toddler started throwing tantrums and didn't want to be around me at all. It broke my heart and I seriously wondered if I had ruined his life. BUT after that initial adjustment period, he went back to his normal self. Now, 13 months later, they are best friends!</p> <p>I would have a few special toys/activities for her while you're nursing/doing baby related things. Let her hold/touch the baby if she wants. And remember that if she starts acting out, it's a HUGE adjustment and you haven't ruined her life :wink: It must not have been too bad for me because I'm doing it again with the same age gap (21 months this time)! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bringing-home-2#post-2613758 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 07:15:27 +0000 FaithFertility 2613758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: ohhh she is going to want to hold him 24/7!<br /> She asks to hold any baby she sees! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bringing-home-2#post-2613756 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 07:02:38 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2613756@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have a few quiet activities. Be prepared that she may want to hold the baby. My son is very sweet but he's started screaming (instead of talking in a normal voice) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bringing-home-2#post-2613750 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 06:07:20 +0000 FaithFertility 2613750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are 5.5 weeks away from.DS joining our family! I am so thrilled and excited!<br /> DD will be 20 months old when he arrives! She is *knock on wood* a super easy toddler from what I know! She is extremely verbal and loves "her AJ" and her baby doll!<br /> I truly see her adapting easily, but I know that also might change once he really is here!</p> <p>any tips, advice or things you definitely suggest?!<br /> things already in place:<br /> She will not be going to the hospital to met him, but meet him when we come home!<br /> She will continue her normal schedule at sitters even when I am on leave </p>