https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Jul 2026 04:36:47 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/business-trip-with-coworker-i-cant-stand#post-524889 Thu, 24 Jan 2013 18:15:58 +0000 lomom 524889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Luckily there will be a third person with us to be a buffer. Taking a separate vehicle, unfortunately isn't an option :( I wish it were!</p> <p>I think most of the time he's trying to be funny and join in on conversations but when two moms-to-be are having a chat about the daycares they've looked at, chiming in with "daycare is horrible, no decent parent would ever send their kid to daycare" is not appropriate. </p> <p>I'm going to keep a log of his comments like a lot of you have suggested, in case I do end up going to HR. I'm glad I'm not just being overly sensitive. </p> <p>I have responded a few times with things like "you should never say the M word (miscarriage) to a pregnant woman" (at least not in the context of what you're doing will cause a miscarriage, as he did with the soda chastising). But for the most part, I've just excused myself from the conversation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/business-trip-with-coworker-i-cant-stand#post-524800 Thu, 24 Jan 2013 17:06:21 +0000 ladyfingers 524800@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh what a dick!! I had to do one of those - car trip and all - but it was just me and him, no buffer. He was gluten intolerant and that's all he talked about. And he was so argumentative with everything. He wasn't half as offensive as your guy but it was so bad I was livid just silently driving back home. I wanted to leave him by the side of the road. He ended up getting fired a few weeks later *shrug* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/business-trip-with-coworker-i-cant-stand#post-524726 Thu, 24 Jan 2013 16:18:34 +0000 tororojo 524726@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:( That super sucks. If he says anything douchey, I would probably say something like "Seriously, I'm over the rude and inappropriate comments. If it happens again, I'm going straight to HR" and maybe he'll straighten up on his own. &lt;--- that's if you really do want to give him another chance. I think it's perfectly acceptable to file a complaint now, though. Make sure to document what he said and when! I would keep a log. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/business-trip-with-coworker-i-cant-stand#post-524674 Thu, 24 Jan 2013 15:59:04 +0000 SouthPaw 524674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: make an excuse for why you have to drive alone, dr apt, family obligation etc.. I used to have to carpool for out of town engagements and I would just say I don't want to hold the team up etc ill meet you guys at the hotel. You then Avoid awkward dinners and can get some personal time to yourself also! I am an accountant/auditor too and hate getting paired up w fresh meat who have not figured out boundaries yet!!:) good luck!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/business-trip-with-coworker-i-cant-stand#post-524470 Thu, 24 Jan 2013 14:37:23 +0000 Pepper 524470@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with pps, I would definitely go to HR. if nothing else, you need to get this problem on the record in case it gets worse. </p> <p>As for the trip, I would just ignore him to the best of your ability. Maybe he feels too comfortable - and freezing out the small talk might make him quiet down. I'm sorry! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/business-trip-with-coworker-i-cant-stand#post-524457 Thu, 24 Jan 2013 14:33:10 +0000 maybebaby 524457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry. If I were in your place I would definitely go to HR. This, to me, is a form of harassment and it is absolutely unacceptable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/business-trip-with-coworker-i-cant-stand#post-524287 Thu, 24 Jan 2013 13:18:19 +0000 fussygal 524287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You should definitely go to HR. He may be young and new, but he needs to know those things are unacceptable to say in general, let alone at work. I agree with @mamamoose, definitely point out to him that his comments are inappropriate so he can't say your complaints to HR are out of the blue. Like @foodnerd81 said, I'd keep a log of everything he says, too. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/business-trip-with-coworker-i-cant-stand#post-523857 Thu, 24 Jan 2013 10:03:22 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 523857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Booooo this guy is bad news.</p> <p>If you have not done so already keep a desk diary of dates and things he says. Arm yourself for when you absolutely break and have to tell HR about the hostile environment Q is making for you.</p> <p>On the business trip you could try to learn about him and maybe make him the center of attention. Guys like talking about themselves and since he is so opinionated I am sure he has a lot<br /> to say. You stay quiet and just listen. He may ease up if you become his soundboard. Try "how did your parents meet?" Or<br /> "tell me about the coolest place you visited". Let him entertain himself.</p> <p>When he gets preachy and rude then stick to a line and repeat, repeat, repeat. "Q, I find your remarks rude, please stop." Saying the same thing to counter bad behavior has been one of the moat effective ways I had handled situations and prevented shouting matches. It really works.</p> <p>Good luck. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/business-trip-with-coworker-i-cant-stand#post-523797 Thu, 24 Jan 2013 09:16:01 +0000 Mrsbells 523797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Will it just be the two of you? Personally I would snap at him so he would stop talking to me for a while. at least for the duration of the trip </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/business-trip-with-coworker-i-cant-stand#post-523789 Thu, 24 Jan 2013 09:13:08 +0000 blackbird 523789@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Um, put that dude in his place. He's new, he needs to be taken down a notch. If he starts giving you advice, tell him that it's not acceptable for him to do so and that your pregnancy is not up for discussion. If he keeps it up, tell him that his behavior is completely inappropriate and that you will be talking to HR about it. </p> <p>Would he say these things around other coworkers? It sounds like there will be other people in the car. </p> <p>Also, what an asshole. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/business-trip-with-coworker-i-cant-stand#post-523750 Thu, 24 Jan 2013 08:49:33 +0000 PurplePumps 523750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is he serious or just trying to be funny and joking around. Either way, if you don't want to go to HR to say anything, just say something back to him. Does he have a clue? Be dead serious and let him know he just needs to shut up. If you have to continue to work with him, going to HR before saying something directly to him may make things tense. I would have a serious chat with him and give him a chance if you think he's just stupid an immature before going above his head.<br /> Are you guys required to ride together for this trip?? Can you get your own car? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/business-trip-with-coworker-i-cant-stand#post-523730 Thu, 24 Jan 2013 08:29:39 +0000 Mrs. Lovejoy 523730@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>ugh that totally stinks :(. I had to travel for over a year, almost every week with someone I didn't particularly care for. And it was awkward that he was a single young male and we were always together. BUT, he wasn't near as bad as what you're describing! That would be miserable! If it continues, I'd definitely say something to HR or a boss! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/business-trip-with-coworker-i-cant-stand#post-523707 Thu, 24 Jan 2013 08:14:50 +0000 MamaMoose 523707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would absolutely go to HR. But doing so means you must be the bigger person when you deal with him directly. You can't sass him back. As pp said, simply let him know his comments are inappropriate and unwelcome. IE "you have made many comments about my pregnancy that I find inappropriate, please stop". Then hope HR will deal with him in terms of punitive action. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/business-trip-with-coworker-i-cant-stand#post-523703 Thu, 24 Jan 2013 08:12:14 +0000 Foodnerd81 523703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm really nonconfrontational too, but I think he is really crossing a lot of lines. I guess I would try to take the high road on the trip, but since you know he will make even more inappropriate comments, I'd start writing them down so you have something concrete to go to HR with. That's really inappropriate-- I wouldn't hire women because they get knocked up?? Seriously? I'm pretty sure that qualifies as sexual harassment. Not much you can do before this trip, but for sure don't let it continue after this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/business-trip-with-coworker-i-cant-stand#post-523699 Thu, 24 Jan 2013 08:06:09 +0000 lomom 523699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I tried like hell to get my favorite staff person on the job... He had a conflict though and Q was the only one really willing to travel. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/business-trip-with-coworker-i-cant-stand#post-523683 Thu, 24 Jan 2013 07:53:41 +0000 Rubies 523683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd be on the phone with HR in a heartbeat! Or, at least his boss (your boss?). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/business-trip-with-coworker-i-cant-stand#post-523679 Thu, 24 Jan 2013 07:51:34 +0000 T.H.O.U. 523679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Uuhhh that really stinks. </p> <p>Is there any one else going on the trip? Can you let the two of them sit up front and you sit in the back and "work" on your phone or something? </p> <p>I would be pretty blunt. If he makes some of those comments, I would just say, "I don't think that is a very appropriate comment to make to a co-worker". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/business-trip-with-coworker-i-cant-stand#post-523664 Thu, 24 Jan 2013 07:39:12 +0000 hellobeeboston 523664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh - just reading this made me hate this guy! I can only imagine how annoying/frustrating he is IRL. Grrrrrr.</p> <p>Ok. If I were you - I would try to one up his inane comments, if he is going to be a d*ck--- give it right back. But in a professional manner of course (ha).</p> <p>Or just be dismissive. Or ignore him. Or - confront him.... I am not a confrontational person, so easier said than done, but something along the lines of telling him to STFU because it has nothing to do with work, stick to the job, etc etc.</p> <p>If after your trip it's just as bad - I would talk to HR. </p> <p>Sorry you're dealing with this!! I had a dude like that at my old job and I was a total b*tch to him, but nice to everyone else, and he eventully got it and stopped talking to me mostly, but it was awkward when we had to work together. _ I would try to get someone else assigned.</p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/business-trip-with-coworker-i-cant-stand#post-523657 Thu, 24 Jan 2013 07:30:56 +0000 lomom 523657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I found out yesterday that this coworker I can't stand is going with me and another coworker on a business trip next week. And I need to vent before I go quit my job over this! </p> <p>I'll call him Q. </p> <p>Q is the most obnoxious person I've ever met. He constantly throws out his opinion and gives unwanted advice. I have been his main target for whatever reason. </p> <p>He's chastised me for drinking soda, he said it would make me miscarry. He told me that I was too young for kids, got married too young, etc. He's made comments about how I'm lucky my baby isn't a girl, that that would just suck. He told me that daycare is horrible and no decent parent would send their child to daycare. He's made comments about how the company needs to stop hiring girls because they keep getting knocked up, etc. </p> <p>I've nearly gone to HR about his comments, but he is brand new and I really hope he simmers down once he is more comfortable in a professional environment. He's very young, fresh out of college, and just hasn't got a clue. And now I have to spend every waking hour, plus two long car trips, with him. I don't think I can do it. </p> <p>I cried when I got the email saying he would be joining us on the trip. </p> <p>Ugh. Just needed to vent. </p>