https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 26 Apr 2026 23:26:03 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-complain-about-my-bonus-sons-bio-mom-for-a-second#post-266958 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 16:36:49 +0000 Mrs. Pen 266958@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>oh my goodness... what a rotten situation. I'm so sorry :(:( </p> <p>That poor little boy. Only 4 yo... sounds like it's not getting any easier either... though I really hope it does. Ugh I kinda just wish she didn't get to see him at all. It'd save all of you guys a lot of pain. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-complain-about-my-bonus-sons-bio-mom-for-a-second#post-266928 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 16:15:19 +0000 Rescuemom10 266928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@junebugmama: I shake my head because it sucks to know there are parents out there like this, and how they are capable of such things.</p> <p>Yup, if she accidentally takes home toys from our place they are thrown, if family sends stuff to that address from DH side she either tells her they are from her side of the family or she hides it. In which at 8 she is now old enopugh to know her mom is hiding things when she finds things hidden with her name on it and a "from" card.<br /> 4 yrs old is sadly young to be saying that. I think DD was about 6 when she started saying things about "If my other Mommy and Daddy died THEN could I live with you".</p> <p>There really are not words...its just horrible, and for as frustrating as it is for us the parents, for us who are far more acting of the mother role clearly...its really the child who suffers the most. I fear for when she is older and fully understand the level of betrayal of her mother. I can not fathom how it would feel to realize such betrayal from your own mother and how much she has taken from her childhood.<br /> Wishing the best for you and your family, for our sweet children, and all the other children out there who have "childish" parents such as this. </p> <p>The tears and confusion just rips your heart apart. I </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-complain-about-my-bonus-sons-bio-mom-for-a-second#post-266921 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 16:08:13 +0000 Lozza 266921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Like others have said, this post makes me sad and frustrated for you and your bonus son, but also relieved that he has you and your DH to stand up for his needs and provide him with a stable and loving home! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-complain-about-my-bonus-sons-bio-mom-for-a-second#post-266912 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 16:03:47 +0000 junebugmama 266912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rescuemom10: I'm so sorry you understand. It sucks; there's no better words.</p> <p>She told him he's not allowed to talk about his brother, DH and my son, when he's there and if he does he has to go into time out. She also told him it wasn't his real brother. Ugh.</p> <p>It bothered me when he said that she wished she would die. A 4yr old shouldn't think that about any of their family members. It made me cringe when he said it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-complain-about-my-bonus-sons-bio-mom-for-a-second#post-266881 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 15:42:54 +0000 Rescuemom10 266881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel your pain and understand your frustrations. I really do. We are other the other end. With my DH being Active Duty, it would take his ex doing something HUGE and BAD for us to get full costudy, we fight to even see her every other weekend. Deal with his ex playing mind games and confusing our DD.</p> <p>I know how it pulls at your heart and makes you want to cry seeing the hurt and confusion in your childs eyes going through it. Your child saying she/he wished they would die...Oh I have heard it too. Our DD gets in trouble if she calls my DH "Daddy" her bio mom expects her to call him by his first name. This year she even tried to register her in school under her new married name and not DD's real last name. I do not understand how a "mother" could do this to her child....I am so there with you! My DD is about to turn 9, she was 3 when I first came into her life.<br /> One step mom to another I give you HUGS!!! It stinks I know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-complain-about-my-bonus-sons-bio-mom-for-a-second#post-266864 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 15:31:04 +0000 junebugmama 266864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oliviaoblivia: The issue is that she sights that something has changed therefore is aloud to file again. My husbands work schedule changed (by 30minutes) so that is her reason for filing paperwork this time. She also changed her schedule this year, she's still going to school. </p> <p>Obviously, a 30 minute change will have no bearing in court. Normally, you would have to pay a court fee of $135 each time you file, but since she refuses to work, they wave the fee for her.<br /> So there's no deterrence. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-complain-about-my-bonus-sons-bio-mom-for-a-second#post-266849 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 15:23:59 +0000 Clementine 266849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for everyone involved but esp. this sweet little boy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-complain-about-my-bonus-sons-bio-mom-for-a-second#post-266847 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 15:22:40 +0000 MamaMoose 266847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @oliviaoblivia: can't the courts do something to prevent her from constantly dragging everyone through this terrible process over and over again for no change? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-complain-about-my-bonus-sons-bio-mom-for-a-second#post-266845 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 15:19:21 +0000 Crisark 266845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow that's an awful situation for that little guy!<br /> Just keep being wonderful to him and he'll get through it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-complain-about-my-bonus-sons-bio-mom-for-a-second#post-266814 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 15:00:11 +0000 oliviaoblivia 266814@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this! It sounds like your bonus son is really lucky to have a stable bonus mom in his life.<br /> Perhaps at the next hearing you can suggest the court provide a timeline for when the custody agreement can be renegotiated (not for X years between hearings...) so that she isn't constantly yanking everyone around. It's SOOO not healthy for her son. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-complain-about-my-bonus-sons-bio-mom-for-a-second#post-266810 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 14:58:38 +0000 Rubies 266810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's terrible. I hope things change soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-complain-about-my-bonus-sons-bio-mom-for-a-second#post-266789 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 14:45:43 +0000 autumnlove 266789@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry! :-( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-complain-about-my-bonus-sons-bio-mom-for-a-second#post-266783 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 14:43:30 +0000 Adira 266783@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yikes! I'm so sorry for you and your family having to deal with this!!! I can't believe the way she's making her son feel!!! I kind of get the impression that she doesn't really want to spend more time with her son, she just wants to get back at her ex, your husband! Hopefully things work themselves out, but I'm sorry you have to deal with this. At least your bonus son has one loving and supportive home! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-complain-about-my-bonus-sons-bio-mom-for-a-second#post-266776 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 14:35:13 +0000 Mrs.B 266776@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Gah people like her really piss me off. Props to you for acting like an adult. She needs to get a freaking clue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-complain-about-my-bonus-sons-bio-mom-for-a-second#post-266769 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 14:29:56 +0000 junebugmama 266769@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so lucky to be a bonus mom to the cutest kid on the planet. I am not so lucky that she hates my husband, her sons father. </p> <p>Without getting into the whole back story here is my recent aggravation and I just need to get it out. </p> <p>DH and her have been going backhand forth fighting over custody for months. In May the court finally told her that what is best for the child is what he is used to, which meant custody staying with my husband. He agreed to give her more over nights on his own. She should have been appreciative in my opinion, but she isn't. Basically, the gesture went unnoticed and they have been back in court 9 times this year!!! Never having anything change, because the court keeps repeating themselves, that it's best for my bonus son to stick to the routine he knows. Well she has once again filed for court. We knew this was happening. She has once again decided to fight because he spends more time with me than with her. She also refuses to acknowledge that him spending time with his brother is important for him. I understand that having another woman care for your child must be tough, but she brought all of this upon herself. </p> <p>Here's the reason I'm angry about this. She has a court date set for next Tuesday. This is the day before my bonus son's first day of kindergarten. She told him that he will be staying with her the night before his first day. She told him that "things will be changing" and that "it's their little secret". My bonus son told me because he was upset thinking that DH, I, and his brother won't be there to see him get on the bus. He sobbed and told me he hated her and wished that she would die. </p> <p>I don't get why she would tell him any of this. It's so hard for me not to want to just punch her. Talking to a 4yr old about custody battles in anyway seems totally psycho to me. She causes him so much confusion and pain every time he sees her (currently Tuesday and Thursday for a few hours and every other weekend). </p> <p>I'm not sure where I was even going with this post. I'm just so pissed and needed an appropriate outlet, rather than saying I wanted to hit her on Facebook :) Thanks for listening. </p>