https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 07 Apr 2026 15:31:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1607395 Fri, 02 May 2014 00:04:57 +0000 googly-eyes 1607395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you handled it well. It was awkward and maybe obnoxious but not necessarily racist in my opinion and I don't *think* her intentions were bad (although who knows what she was really thinking!) I get this, and I get it about LO all the time. Some people are just really ignorant about how they're coming off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1607348 Thu, 01 May 2014 22:56:41 +0000 loveisstrange 1607348@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it may have been a little off-putting and lacking in social skills on the woman's part, but I really don't think she was being racist. I think she was curious and went about asking in a very awkward way. </p> <p>I don't think it's really offensive to be asked about my heritage, IMO. I get asked if i'm Am. Indian or Indian all the time, although usually more tactfully than that. For the record, I'm white... So maybe that's why I think that.</p> <p>I think you handled it well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1607343 Thu, 01 May 2014 22:47:48 +0000 sunny 1607343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it was inappropriate but I don't think it was racist. Like other posters I get asked "what are you?" Or "are you Chinese?" Or "where are you from?" all the time and I don't really take offense. I just tell them I am chinese but I was born here. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1607252 Thu, 01 May 2014 21:51:54 +0000 seabsher 1607252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, this was totally inappropriate of the woman. Like her first question wasn't bad enough, she had to keep talking. I think it would be hard to know what to do, and how to react to the situation. However, I like that instead of confronting the woman, you focused your attention on the little girl. I think the woman got the message--loud and clear, that is probably why she left. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1606549 Thu, 01 May 2014 18:28:44 +0000 Ginabean3 1606549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: lol, I think Mrs. Wagon should say that one time and let us know what kind of reaction she gets! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1606520 Thu, 01 May 2014 18:18:53 +0000 wonderstruck 1606520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: Haha, I thought of that too!</p> <p>I have a friend who is Korean, but was adopted into a very Italian family and his name shows it. If he feels like someone is being rude he tells them he's Italian and acts confused if they don't believe him. It's hilarious. But OP, I think you handled it right. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1605942 Thu, 01 May 2014 13:55:07 +0000 lamariniere 1605942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm mixed white/Asian and get "what are you" all the time. I was at a book signing once and the author even asked me where I was from. I honestly don't find it offensive at all. People can be very curious when they see someone they can't quite place. That said, the way the woman worded the question was a bit strange, but it was definitely nice of you to make the little girl feel comfortable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1605155 Thu, 01 May 2014 11:28:50 +0000 Honeygold89 1605155@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hear that all the time and I have when people say "what are you" I think there's better ways to ask and then I don't like when people just assume. A lot of people assume I'm Hispanic or Ethiopian but I'm actually black and German but I think the lady was a little rude even if she wasn't trying to be but I think you handled that well because it wasn't worth being confrontational about </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1605067 Thu, 01 May 2014 11:13:37 +0000 psw27 1605067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pui LOL hilarious! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1605044 Thu, 01 May 2014 11:07:56 +0000 psw27 1605044@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>how awkward! I think you did the best you could to diffuse it for the child... I wouldn't have known what to do with regard to the woman, what an a$$. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1605001 Thu, 01 May 2014 10:54:35 +0000 ShootingStar 1605001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pui: Haha, I was trying not to laugh too loudly at work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1604991 Thu, 01 May 2014 10:50:51 +0000 pui 1604991@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: @ShootingStar: </p> <p>Reminds me of this lol</p> <p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWynJkN5HbQ" rel="nofollow">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWynJkN5HbQ</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1604990 Thu, 01 May 2014 10:50:16 +0000 Synchronicity 1604990@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What an awkward situation! I think you handled it perfectly. I wouldn't have said anything to the woman because I would worry it would make the little girl more uncomfortable. It was really kind of you to distract the girl from the strange questions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1604988 Thu, 01 May 2014 10:49:25 +0000 mrs. wagon 1604988@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: haha! I snorted! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1604981 Thu, 01 May 2014 10:44:48 +0000 ShootingStar 1604981@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: Your post reminds of this conversation on Parks and Rec:</p> <p>Leslie Knope: You're not from here, right?<br /> Tom Haverford: No, I'm from South Carolina.<br /> Leslie Knope: But you moved to South Carolina from where?<br /> Tom Haverford: My mother's uterus. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1604974 Thu, 01 May 2014 10:41:59 +0000 pui 1604974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What a weird thing to say. </p> <p>I probably wouldn't have said anything to the woman. I think you handled the situation really well to make the girl less uncomfortable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1604935 Thu, 01 May 2014 10:28:28 +0000 FliegepilzHut 1604935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@TemperanceBrennan: I think you handled it perfectly...exactly as I hoped I would have (and might not have, sadly, b/c I might have felt provoked to confront the woman...in front of the girl...which could have yielded poor or "mixed" results). I think everyone who said her intent was benign is probably right...she just didn't think before she spoke and approached the entire situation awkwardly. Complimenting the girl on her hair would have sufficed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1604919 Thu, 01 May 2014 10:22:00 +0000 Greentea 1604919@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This reminds me of my sister's bff. She is from eastern Europe and people always ask her what her accent is/ where is she from and she says Idaho! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1604911 Thu, 01 May 2014 10:18:46 +0000 mrs. wagon 1604911@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: lol! :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1604908 Thu, 01 May 2014 10:18:10 +0000 Mrs. Taco 1604908@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you handled it really well. I'm sure the woman wasn't intending on being rude (as she was trying to deliver a compliment), she's clearly just ignorant. Sigh. When will people learn? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1604906 Thu, 01 May 2014 10:17:29 +0000 snowjewelz 1604906@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: It's like, people want you to say "Oh, I'm from Korea. North Korea. I escaped as a child and went through this crazy journey to come to the land of the free..." lol :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1604898 Thu, 01 May 2014 10:15:12 +0000 MrsSCB 1604898@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you handled it very well, but I get why you were uncomfortable. I've gotten the, "where are you from?" question a lot, which is funny to me because I'm just of white European descent. I guess people think I look like I have a different background? Just goes to show you can't stereotype based on looks, but it's awkward. I'm always like, "uhhh, virginia?" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1604881 Thu, 01 May 2014 10:10:38 +0000 mrs. wagon 1604881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: I know... very often I get people who actually get angry with me. "no... where are you FROM. no... WHERE WERE YOU BORN??" The answer is always Massachusetts, not gonna change! I've never even been to the continent of Asia!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1604843 Thu, 01 May 2014 10:01:59 +0000 snowjewelz 1604843@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you did well by helping to make the girl feel comfortable! People ask quite ignorant things. I still get people saying "Konichiwa" or "Nei Hao Ma" to me on the streets, or asking me where I'm from and I know New York is not the answer they are looking for! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1604840 Thu, 01 May 2014 10:01:44 +0000 mrs. wagon 1604840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get this kind of question all the time as a non-mixed minority. I get everything from "what are you" or "where are you from" to "are you Chinese" or people screaming NI HAO at me on the street (I'm not Chinese). If someone is asking me directly my simple answer is "my parents immigrated from Korea before I was born". I don't really take offense... growing up like this I just realize that most people are just ignorant and it's not my personal preference to educate people. Only unless there's a followup question of "North or South?" Then and only then do I take it upon myself to educate them (it's nearly impossible for people to leave North Korea, etc).</p> <p>Very nice of you to engage with her directly after the encounter to distract her from the awkwardness!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1604799 Thu, 01 May 2014 09:52:41 +0000 charmed 1604799@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you handled it well, and it was sweet of you to talk to the girl to distract from the awkwardness. Some people just have no filter! :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1604794 Thu, 01 May 2014 09:51:27 +0000 mrsjazz 1604794@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can be somewhat confrontational, so I probably would've handled the situation in a way where the water aerobics class would've been uncomfortable </p> <p>I think you handled it well, by engaging the girl and trying to make her feel more comfortable. I think that if you said something it could have made the situation worse, alienated the girl, caused a scene. I think it would be okay to say something to the woman alone if you still feel strongly about it. But she might be the type to not even realize how what she said is wrong and think that you are crazy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1604785 Thu, 01 May 2014 09:48:54 +0000 mrbee 1604785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Those questions happen all the time if you are of mixed descent... I thought you handled it nicely! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1604780 Thu, 01 May 2014 09:46:47 +0000 kiddosc 1604780@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yea, I don't know that I would have reacted any differently but I'm glad you were able to help the girl feel less awkward. The woman was definitely inappropriate, but I don't think she was really being racist. This reminds me of the video circulating recently about comparing adoption questions to boob job questions. People are genuinely curious, but phrase things very poorly. Maybe you could say something to the woman at your next class, something along the lines of "I think you made that girl uncomfortable, you could have just told her you thought her hair was pretty." But depending on her temperament that could go well or quite badly. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-i-get-your-take-on-the-situation-what-should-i-have-donesaid-if-anything#post-1604779 Thu, 01 May 2014 09:46:23 +0000 TemperanceBrennan 1604779@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If the woman was talking to me, I'm sure I would use the "Why do you ask" question and take it from there, but you're both right that it probably would have made it more awkward. The woman is very talkative in class and just says what she is thinking. </p>