https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 08 Apr 2026 01:20:35 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-135295 Tue, 24 Apr 2012 12:11:33 +0000 littlek 135295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's difficult to be just friends with guys. I used to have a bunch of guy friends, but they all went away when I got married. The only guys I'm friends with now are friends of my husbands. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-135286 Tue, 24 Apr 2012 12:06:01 +0000 banana 135286@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alivoo01: Same here! I have a few really close girlfriends but in terms of number of friends, I probably knew more guys than girls. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-135098 Tue, 24 Apr 2012 10:10:09 +0000 Alivoo01 135098@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Growing up, I've always had more guy friends than girl friends, and was never physically attracted to them so I say yes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-134014 Mon, 23 Apr 2012 12:32:46 +0000 SusieQ 134014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's possible to be just friends, especially before you are married. I think once you're married, it's different. You can still be friends, but out of respect for your husband and your relationship, the nature of the friendship would have to change. Not that you can't be friends anymore, just I wouldn't ever be alone with a man in a one on one situation. It's so much easier for everyone to avoid even the appearance of impropriety. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-133958 Mon, 23 Apr 2012 12:11:16 +0000 Maysprout 133958@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's tricky because there's always the potential for feelings to develop, especially if you hit a rough patch with your spouse it seems easy to think hey here's this nice guy even though you may have never thought of him that way before. </p> <p>But I do have guy friends that are just friends and we chit chat and keep in touch and are just friends, but they are all friends from high school and college and we only see each other once in awhile because we don't live close anymore. I donno why it is exactly but making adult friendships with a guy seems a bit weird for me to do now, there's always a point of familiarity that I won't cross out of respect for my husband, but making friends with women I don't have those same boundaries. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-133901 Mon, 23 Apr 2012 11:42:18 +0000 banana 133901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've had similar experiences where my guy friend would say they hae zero feelings for me but sometimes the feelings would just develop. With this particular friend though, I've known him almost 15 years and we've never ever had anything even close to romantic. The only thing is that he and I are similar in the looks level so people just automatically assume we would be attracted to each other (doesn't really make sense to me but whatever). Not saying we're both attractive or anything. Just the same level, if that makes sense? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-133819 Mon, 23 Apr 2012 10:31:39 +0000 mrstilly 133819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been on both sides of this debate before, and now am somewhere in the middle. Ultimately it comes down to whether both people are really being honest when they say they have NO romantic feelings for the other person. I think it's really hard to be close friends with someone of the opposite sex, especially if you are in a relationship or married, to the extent where you are spending time together without your partners/spouses. </p> <p>I've had male friends before that I had no feelings for, and while they said that they didn't have feelings for me, overtime they did. It created a lot of issues and the friendships all eventually ended. </p> <p>DH is not really comfortable with me spending time alone with males, and I respect that. I am friendly with my male coworkers, some of whom I even really like (totally platonic), but I wouldn't see them outside of work. I also have friends and I get along really well with their husbands, but would never go out with them without at least one of our spouses there too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-133811 Mon, 23 Apr 2012 10:25:53 +0000 littlebug 133811@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So my best friend is a guy...he's also an ex-boyfriend. We dated and broke up 12 years ago. When hubs and I first started dating, he had a BIG problem with it. But eventually, he realized that there is nothing more than friendship there. I mean, we'd already tried the relationship thing and it definitely didn't work. BFF and I used to hang out on our own a lot, but since we're both married now, we don't too much, out of respect for our spouses. Not that either one of us has feelings for the other or that our spouses don't trust us, it just seems like the right thing to do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-133781 Mon, 23 Apr 2012 09:57:26 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 133781@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>this is a tough one. but i think it's possible. as long as both parties are on the same path. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-133779 Mon, 23 Apr 2012 09:52:42 +0000 LuLu Mom 133779@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I think so. I have 3 guy friends from high school that I am still close with. We text and call and hangout frequently. My DH knows we are just friends, nothing has ever happened. One even stays in our guest room when he's in town and my DH doesn't mind at all. He knows we are just friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-133733 Mon, 23 Apr 2012 09:05:28 +0000 mrsjyw 133733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I have plenty of guy friends that I hang out with along with DH and without.... I grew up in church with them and they're literally like my brothers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-133730 Mon, 23 Apr 2012 09:02:18 +0000 chopsuey 133730@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've lost touch with all of my old guy friends since getting married and having a baby. Kinda makes me wonder if they were really my friends or if they had an ulterior motive..!<br /> Anyway, I'm "friends" with DH's friends and husbands of our couple friends. I would NEVER hang out with these guys one on one though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-133726 Mon, 23 Apr 2012 08:59:52 +0000 Modern Daisy 133726@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have exactly one guy friend and nothign will ever happen between us because I am absolutely not attracted to him in any way. If I was attracted to a guy, it would never work as a friendship. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-133718 Mon, 23 Apr 2012 08:55:53 +0000 daniellemybelle 133718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think they can, but I also think it can border on inappropriate when married people have very close friendships with someone of the opposite sex. I agree with @eeh that even the appearance of impropriety can be troublesome, and sometimes a self-fulfilling prophecy... I know of a few couples that have gotten themselves into pickles with that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-132788 Sat, 21 Apr 2012 10:48:40 +0000 regberadaisy 132788@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally think men &amp; women can be JUST friends!<br /> I have a co-worker who I consider a good friend! He's like a girlfriend and we help each other get through the work day. We rant to each other about co-workers, deadlines, stupid project managers, etc.<br /> He's my ride home/to the hospital if I go into labor while at work! hahah </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-132786 Sat, 21 Apr 2012 10:46:33 +0000 Jumpingjacks 132786@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I was in my 20s all my friends were men and in particular one of these was my 'best friend' for quite some time. I advocated constantly that of course men and women could be friends. I thought this 'best friend' would be in my life forever! I was single for most of this time. Over the years, and this happened slowly -- but it did happen, every one of them at some point made some indication to me that they were attracted to and interested in me in a non-friend way. I was never interested in any of them in that way. Eventually they all got married. I got along with all their wives, except... the wife of the 'best friend' let it slip one time that her friends thought her husband was messing around with me. It was extremely hurtful to me to be accused of this. (eventually they got divorced, so I'm sure they had a variety of problems that led to this insecurity in her) Frankly though all of it just wasn't worth it to me anymore -- trying balance the suspicions and the possibility that the guys might have, even in the past, had non-friend feelings for me. The best friend stopped speaking to me after I met DH, and I have never figured out why (DH has suspicions). I'm sad to say it all became a big pain in the but. Now, I'd just prefer that my male friends be 'couple friends' ie; husbands of my female friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-132737 Sat, 21 Apr 2012 09:43:42 +0000 sorrycharlie 132737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: "Do you feel an uncontrollable urge to make out with every man/woman you meet? If not, there you go. You control your actions and feelings. Not every woman is attracted to every man, and vice versa."</p> <p>I totally agree with this! This is my main argument with someone around me (DH, a friend, whomever) is uncomfortable with hanging with a gay person. They seem to assume the person will hit on them. My response is always, "that's awfully conceited to think that!" ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-132725 Sat, 21 Apr 2012 09:35:38 +0000 heffalump 132725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH has plenty of female friends. We're going to one of their weddings this weekend! I'm not worried one bit. Most of them were there before I came along and if he wanted to hook up with them, he could have done it then, but didn't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-132616 Fri, 20 Apr 2012 23:41:52 +0000 tequiero21 132616@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think so... But I choose not to hang out with any without my hubby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-132598 Fri, 20 Apr 2012 23:10:19 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 132598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup, I have a few guy friends from before I met DH- he knows and likes them all. The ones that have gotten married, I talk to their wives now just as much as I talk to them though, so it's more of a couples friendship. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-132593 Fri, 20 Apr 2012 22:57:15 +0000 Mrs. Pen 132593@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I have a few guy friends. I had several "just friends" guys in high school. Now most of my guy friends are my friends husband's, or my husband's friends. I don't think it's entirely appropriate for me now, as a married woman, to be friends with a guy without my husband being a part of the relationship. even if we're only ever "just friends", it can send the wrong message to anyone else and I won't compromise my reputation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-132581 Fri, 20 Apr 2012 22:16:32 +0000 yoursilverlining 132581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, men and women can just be friends. Honestly, I think it's really immature to think people of the opposite sex can't just be platonic friends. Do you feel an uncontrollable urge to make out with every man/woman you meet? If not, there you go. You control your actions and feelings. Not every woman is attracted to every man, and vice versa. </p> <p>My husband's best friend of 20+ years is a woman, and there has never been anything between them. One of my friends since preschool is a guy, we've even shared beds plenty of times, and yet - nothing has ever happened. We're just friends. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-132533 Fri, 20 Apr 2012 20:33:15 +0000 Meridian 132533@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My best friend is a guy, and we've been friends for 13 years, long before I met my husband. So my husband doesn't mind if I hang out with my friend one on one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-132531 Fri, 20 Apr 2012 20:30:52 +0000 banana 132531@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mr.bee: say they are both attractive on the same level. possible to just be friends? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-132530 Fri, 20 Apr 2012 20:20:38 +0000 sorrycharlie 132530@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haha definitely. Not to be mean but I am NOT attracted to every one of my male friends!. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-132526 Fri, 20 Apr 2012 20:09:13 +0000 mrbee 132526@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How attractive are the people involved in this hypothetical? :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-132525 Fri, 20 Apr 2012 20:08:49 +0000 eeh 132525@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would consider myself friends with my husband's buddies but I don't think things remain on the "just friends" level when a man and woman socialize alone together. At the very least I believe that perception is reality and I would hate for someone to perceive that I'm disrespecting my husband by being out with another person. It's easier for me to just not socialize alone with a male and avoid rumors and speculation altogether than to have to defend myself should a false accusation arise. My husband's trust is crucial to me and I wouldn't want to do anything that would ever give him a reason to doubt me. </p> <p>That being said, I would call one of our male friends in the case of an emergency like being stranded on the side of the road and my husband, dad, or father in law were unable to come help me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-132523 Fri, 20 Apr 2012 20:04:46 +0000 BSB 132523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I think they can be friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-132519 Fri, 20 Apr 2012 20:00:12 +0000 His Barista 132519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes! I am friends with a bunch if guys. They hang out with dh a lot too. But nothing would ever happen.with them. Lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-men-and-women-just-be-friends#post-132509 Fri, 20 Apr 2012 19:52:18 +0000 banana 132509@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have one guy friend who I'm pretty close to that I've known for a while. All of my girlfriends would tease us, saying we will someday get married (of course we didn't). And everyone always asked me if we ever "hooked up" (we didn't). We're seriously JUST friends but people seem to not be able to believe it.</p> <p>This made me believe that yes, men &amp; women can be just friends. But other women tell me that over time, something will eventually happen. </p> <p>Do you think that's true? </p>