https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Apr 2026 14:21:42 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784865 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 15:33:00 +0000 gingerbebe 2784865@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Glad you made the right call for you and your family~! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784862 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 15:26:52 +0000 erinbaderin 2784862@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. D: @tinyperson: It is French, and I am in government. I'm not in a bilingual region but once you get into management it's pretty much a requirement. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784851 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 14:57:16 +0000 Mrs. D 2784851@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: I'm glad you were given more information that made this decision easier. Yay!<br /> Is it French? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784815 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 13:45:10 +0000 tinyperson 2784815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: That sounds like a great decision. I think it's a great opportunity both for your current career (are you in government?) and for your resume should you decide to go elsewhere. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784715 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 08:28:11 +0000 erinbaderin 2784715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you, everybody, for your input! I think I have basically come around on saying yes to it - some of the comments here plus some of the comments from colleagues I trust have made me think that this might be a one-time opportunity, and saying yes will show senior management that I am serious about my career - as much as my director says she would understand if I say no I can't see them being as likely to offer me other big opportunities if I turn something like this down.</p> <p>I have also learned that the hours may be a little more flexible than I believed - basically the 6 people on the course decide amongst themselves when they want to start and whether they want a half hour or an hour lunch - so it seems likely it will run 8-3:30. I have also learned that it would be possible to test out earlier, but also more significantly that I might start later in the run - we were asked to fill out a self-assessment and it seems like I'm at a more advanced language level than many of the others, so I would likely not start for a few months, as I'd join up with them when they got more advanced. Somehow knowing I don't have to totally change my life two weeks from now makes it a lot easier to handle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784695 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 03:51:32 +0000 Kemma 2784695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To be honest, it just sounds like this isn't the right time for your family but having said that I'm also a huge believer in taking opportunities when they arise! Is there a chance you can speak freely with your boss and explain your situation to him? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784690 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 00:34:05 +0000 QBbride 2784690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What a great opportunity! I would do it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784688 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 00:02:53 +0000 Grace 2784688@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you work for the feds? From what my husband tells me (who works for Public Safety), people get sent for the french language training just as they are getting promoted. Are you sure there is nothing in the works? Or, could they be wanting to reclassify your position as bilingual? I’d talk to the director. And then I’d be leaning towards doing it. If something happens to your job, there will be more oppourtunities if you can say you are fluent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784654 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 19:07:35 +0000 lamariniere 2784654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like all of your reasons point to no, and that’s fine. I’m currently taking langage classes for the local language where we are living now. It’s purly on my own initiative, but it’s still time and money invested. I don’t study nearly as much as I should and I constantly feel guilty. Plus, when I do devote time to studying, I’m always thinking about the other things I need to do! If I were you, I would consider the part time program next year, but keep in mind how much time you may need to set aside for studying or activities if it’s on your own time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784608 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 16:14:21 +0000 cake2017 2784608@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Pass the opportunity. You seem happy with how things are for you and your family. It’s okay to turn things down. You’re in a season where it looks like it won’t work and that’s okay! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784552 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 14:47:29 +0000 gingerbebe 2784552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is hard. I totally feel you on the comfortable arrangement, but I just wonder if this is a worthwhile investment in the longterm for your career. In 3 years when the job opening you want comes forward, will the other people who do the training now be more qualified by virtue of having done that language training while you pursued the part-time track? That's something I'd think about - there would be 5 people who took this training and thus 5 contenders for an opening. I do think its rare for an employer to finance full-time language studies for someone, so that is something I'd factor as well.</p> <p>If you DO decide to take the course, I would </p> <p>- Get a housecleaner to handle some of the stuff you handle on your telework days.<br /> - Work out at lunch and just make a protein shake or smoothie - something drinkable - your weekday lunch. OR you might keep your regular schedule in the morning (i.e. plan to show up at 730am) and get in half a workout in the morning (like a HIIT cardio session or weights) and do the other half at lunch.</p> <p>- Have meals ready to just reheat on weekdays, or plan for a night out to eat, or whatever to make that extra commute/daycare time be less impactful.</p> <p>We used to pick up our kids from daycare at 430, but have inched over to 5-515pm lately and it really hasn't been that big of a deal, honestly. If anything, they eat a lot better for dinner because they are hungry, whereas if we pick them up at 430, they graze on snacks (which they scream for) and then don't eat well for dinner. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784543 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 14:36:29 +0000 MrsLonghorn 2784543@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>can you have a conversation with your director?</p> <p>"I"m flattered that you nominated me - but I'm not certain now is the right time for me to do the full time program. However, I would be interested in the part-time one. What do you think?" This gives your manager a chance to explain why they nominated you (you might be surprised!) and then for you to explain with why you think the part-time program is a better fit.</p> <p>ETA: This is a HUGE commitment for something you're not sure about. Given your past history with the language, it sounds like part time could be a better fit for you -- does your director know that? That said, your director may know things you don't, and there could be a great reason why you should do it now. I think it is definitely worth a conversation.<br /> Also, language is something that if you don't use, you lose. So if you won't be using the language much in the next 3 years, you might not be fluent anymore by the time you need it....timing definitely matters. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784514 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 13:48:53 +0000 kiddosc 2784514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would decline, but let your director know that you are open to it in the future. Since there isn't likely to be any benefit in the near term, the cons outweigh the pros. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784480 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 12:48:04 +0000 catlady 2784480@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would probably say yes, if only because I would be concerned that if I said no, I wouldn't get the opportunity again soon, and/or I would be perceived as someone who doesn't want to move up in the organization. </p> <p>That said, I completely understand where you are coming from and would have a really hard time with the decision. If I were 100% sure that postponing it wouldn't affect my career opportunities down the line, I'd probably pass for now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784471 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 12:40:41 +0000 snowjewelz 2784471@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd pass and just do PT, based on what you've said. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784468 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 12:34:00 +0000 PawPrints 2784468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would want to hear the director's reasoning for why your name was put forward. I am wondering if you are closer to moving up than you realize. If that's the case, I would recommend tolerating some short-term lifestyle inconveniences for that overall career benefit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784439 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 11:48:07 +0000 petitenoisette 2784439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would definitely say no. I think it's going to be pretty painful for you to complete the training given your clear inclination not to do it (and with good reasons). I think you can use the lack of notice as part of the reason to say no and also state your intention to do the part time training in February. I think that will mitigate any negative perception of saying no. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784431 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 11:28:13 +0000 JennyPenny 2784431@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You said you need the training to move up, but that wouldn't be for a while. Would you actively be using the language in your current position? If not, I'd be afraid of it being a wasted effort at this point. Without regular use it's really easy to lose language learning. I think this could be a very valid reason to say "no" if you're worried about perception like @starchild mentioned. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784425 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 11:09:02 +0000 starchild 2784425@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would add one more question for consideration: will there be any negative impact of saying no? Not just looking at what the gains of saying yes might be, but if you pass, will there be negative perceptions among your team? Could it impact you later if advancement opportunities do become available? </p> <p>From what you've said, the part time option sounds like it would fit your life better, and if you already have a certain level of skill in this language, it would be reasonable to say that you think the more immersive opportunity should go to someone who needs more extensive training. I would probably try to avoid making it about the impacts on your lifestyle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784419 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 10:47:23 +0000 Mrs D 2784419@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Based on your follow up, I vote pass on the opportunity. Best to wait until your mind is totally in it - or take the part time approach. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784414 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 10:38:17 +0000 SweetiePie 2784414@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It just doesn’t sound like your head or heart are in it and I wouldn’t want to spend the next 10 months kicking myself and regretting the decision, especially if there’s not some immediate payoff at the end. If at the end you were guaranteed same flexibility as before but that includes advancement and a raise I’d say go for it. But there’s no immediate benefit and it sounds like even if there was immediate advancement you still aren’t sure you even want that.<br /> Everything is a season when your kids are older and in full time school or something I’d make sure my employer knew I was interested again and hope it comes up again. Until then I’d take the part time training. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784412 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 10:32:38 +0000 bushelandapeck 2784412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I say wait for the part time in Feb, especially if it isn't something you need right now for your job. Going every day for 10 months sounds like too much, IMO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784409 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 10:28:12 +0000 Pollywog 2784409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd pass. An extra hour of daycare wouldn't be worth it for me. Plus, I need telework for my sanity. I'd do part time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784407 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 10:23:05 +0000 erinbaderin 2784407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The part time would be an hour a week with a tutor (I think - it's possible I could do two hours a week), and then working through activities on my own time. It wouldn't affect my day to day schedule at all, I would get out of it what I put into it.</p> <p>The immediate effects of the training would be negligible. I do need a level of fluency to move up in my career, but I'm also not at a point in my career where I'm ready to move up, nor is there currently (or likely to be in the near future) an open position. Basically I don't see this as likely to pay off for at least three years.</p> <p>I can't finish the course early, if I start I'm in it for 10 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784405 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 10:09:40 +0000 Mrs D 2784405@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For me, the first 3 questions @Bluebonnet: mentions are crucial for giving an answer. </p> <p>But big picture, unless you need this course right now for advancement or raise or something it sounds like you head and heart are not in to it. So it might not be the best time.</p> <p>Its ok to say that you just cant do it all. As you mentioned, this is a chaotic time in your life right now - other opportunities will come around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784403 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 10:05:55 +0000 Bluebonnet 2784403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What would taking a part time language training (starting in February) look like? How would that impact your schedule? </p> <p>What is the benefit of doing this training (pay increase, increased opportunities, possibility for increased flexibility, etc)?</p> <p>You mentioned you don't think you'll need 10 months to get to the level of fluency they are desiring - does that mean you'd get to finish the program early?</p> <p>You said you've committed to a year's gym membership -what does that mean? Could you freeze your membership and resume at another time? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-somebody-make-this-important-decision-for-me#post-2784394 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 09:48:58 +0000 erinbaderin 2784394@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My director just let me know that my name has been put forward to attend full time second language training, for ten months, starting in two weeks. I don't know what to do. Do I say yes or no?</p> <p>Here are my concerns:<br /> a) it runs from 8am-4pm. Currently I work 7:30-3:30, so this would mean the boys would be in daycare longer, until at least 5, possibly later depending on traffic - the later it gets the worse traffic gets.<br /> b) I currently telework one day a week, which is a luxury that I really love and depend on - it lets me do the laundry, do some tidying, keep up with things around the house that I'd otherwise have to do on weekends.<br /> c) I've been going to the gym around 9:30 three days a week, and then working through lunch. If I took this training I could probably still go at lunch, but then when would I eat? To work out before work I'd have to get up at 4am, and I know myself - I won't do it after. I've committed to a year of gym membership.<br /> d) I'm on the social committee at work and planning the holiday party, and I wouldn't get to do it.<br /> e) I really like the people I work with, and I enjoy spending my day with them. At least one of the other five people who would be in this training make me crazy.<br /> f) I'm not sure that I need 10 full months of training to get to the level that these people are aiming for - I have taken this language before so I'd be re-learning a lot of it.</p> <p>Some of these concerns are more valid than others. I'm just not sure I'm in the right head space for this opportunity, and you can only do full time language training once in your career. But I'm also very resistant to change and I'm not sure how much of this is me being lazy and wanting to give up what is, usually, a pretty flexible and easy job. But on the other hand maybe that IS valid - I have two kids under four, a lot going on at home, and I'm not sure I have the mental capacity to have a lot going on at work AND a lot going on at home?</p> <p>If I say no there's no guarantee that this opportunity would come up again, but I would definitely be able to take part time language training starting in February.</p> <p>Help. Should I do it? </p>