https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 21 Apr 2026 04:34:54 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-you-agree-to-disagree#post-2822132 Sat, 12 May 2018 20:06:11 +0000 LCTBQE 2822132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't avoid conflict or disagreement, but as I've gotten older I've gotten better about considering where the other person is coming from and *why* their opinion is valid, like the experience @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: mentioned. But, I've also gotten really jaded about concluding that lots of people are morons, and I'm totally unbothered to let stupid people have their stupid opinions--doesn't ruffle my feathers the way it did in my 20s :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-you-agree-to-disagree#post-2822122 Sat, 12 May 2018 16:52:16 +0000 youboots 2822122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It depends on the issue and the person. Typically I keep my mouth shut when I’m not close to that person- ultimately by arguing your point aren’t you trying to educate/change a persons mind? If I’m not in a position of trust/respect I don’t even go there.</p> <p>DH and I have almost identical beliefs even when it comes to parenting. Off the top of my head I can’t think of a single thing. Not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-you-agree-to-disagree#post-2822006 Fri, 11 May 2018 12:39:39 +0000 alphagam84 2822006@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Luckily my husband and I tend to agree on everything. With people at work I try not to get into it too much. With family/friends, if it is something like abortion right or gun control I make very pointed arguments and don't back down but I never resort to name calling, etc. That gets you nowhere. Just means I probably don't interact with them very much anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-you-agree-to-disagree#post-2821763 Thu, 10 May 2018 13:11:36 +0000 MrsSCB 2821763@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Depends on the subject. If a person's "opinion" negatively affects others' lives, then I find it hard to agree to disagree. Some things are just right or wrong. My husband and I do manage to do that on certain subjects, though. Not usually parenting related, luckily, we tend to be on the same page there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-you-agree-to-disagree#post-2821756 Thu, 10 May 2018 12:47:58 +0000 codeitall 2821756@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsMom: I feel like could have just copied your post haha!</p> <p>I try to avoid conflict. I definitely have opinions, but even though I was very good at Debate in school, I try not to get too passionate. When people get emotional about opinions is when feelings get hurt.</p> <p>I disagreed with my parents about Trump and while they knew it, we just kind of skirted around it in our conversations. I'm very middle of the road politically because I like pieces of each platform and DH is the same.</p> <p>DH and I don't have many arguments. In fact, I can only think of a handful in 6 years. In the end, we had to put emotions aside, come to a sensible compromise or agree to respect each other's different perspectives.</p> <p>The BIGGEST contributing factors to conflicts is a refusal to listen or give credence to different perspectives.</p> <p>Probably the only thing I get riled up over is gun control right now. As a result, I avoid any discussion of that because like me, people are far too impassioned on either side to compromise without hurt feelings. I value societal safety over individual rights and have a hard time understanding why someone would do otherwise. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-you-agree-to-disagree#post-2821727 Thu, 10 May 2018 11:15:39 +0000 MrsMom 2821727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was literally just talking to my Grandmother about this yesterday since my mom and Cousin have very different views and seem to not get along. My Grandmother and I are the same and can see both side to everyone's story, but at the same time we will only put our two cents in once and be done with the topic, however it sometimes makes us the people they come to for complaints about one another.</p> <p>With DH, we usually will let each other get out their point of view and really listen and if we still don't agree then we don't push. We're both easy going and it usually ends with "I get what you're saying, but I just can't/wouldn't do that".</p> <p>With Friends or coworkers I usually avoid any topics I don't feel comfortable about especially if I can tell they're very passionate about it because there's obviously no swaying them. My best friend and I have very different views on almost everything including parenting. She doesn't believe in Dr's and does all natural remedies and no Vaccinations, where I'm completely opposite, we graciously agree to disagree and she respects my decisions and I respect hers. We're still best of friends and don't let our parenting techniques get in the way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-you-agree-to-disagree#post-2821703 Thu, 10 May 2018 10:42:10 +0000 gingerbebe 2821703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In terms of DH and I, we have very few things that we agree to disagree on. Politically he leans more GOP and I lean more Democrat, but we're basically right on the other side of the fence from each other and we would probably consider ourselves more independent than anything else. We have come to agreements completely on family matters, raising our children, finances, etc. I say this because we have worked aggressively on getting to that place over the last 7-8 years because we are both people who literally cannot focus if there is discord or disagreement at home. We don't sit around and stew in our resentment and literally everything gets put on hold until its handled, probably mainly due to my anxiety and I can't deal otherwise. Sure each of have preferences for one thing or another, but we talk about it and either agree to a compromise or we just let one person have their way for the sake of peace. For example, I refuse to have guns in the house and I don't buy my kids toys that look like weapons. DH never kept a gun, but he's from a culture where its not a big deal, but he has accepted that I am just not okay with it and he's gone so far as communicate with his family my position and that we will not be bringing our kids over to any house with a firearm present. So that's our "agreement" on the matter, even if he doesn't think its a huge deal personally. </p> <p>As to other people outside our household, I think we can't really learn from each other and evolve without sharing our viewpoints. So I generally lean more towards sharing my views respectfully, let the other person say what they have to say, then gauge whether or not they are going to be disrespectful to me and then either just shrug and end the conversation, or I might engage them further if I think they are going to be civil about it, because we may each learn something from each other.</p> <p>For example, I work as an attorney and people are shocked when they find out I'm a serious, practicing devout Christian. That either leads to people making some really false assumptions about me based on the caricatures of "evangelical Christians" in the media, or they will be genuinely curious and want to ask me more about my views on certain topics and then we'll have some neat conversations. I think you just have to gauge the other person's motivations. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-you-agree-to-disagree#post-2821695 Thu, 10 May 2018 10:32:22 +0000 Grace 2821695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Madison43: Haha, me too!</p> <p>I also try to understand what they are talking about but by this time, they are so annoyed with me that they don’t want to explain their side. Actually, I find that many times people just want me to take their word for it. And I can’t. I’m a scientist. Everyone has to prove their point. And that drives people nuts. My husband is a big fan of “agree to disagree” and it probably drives me more crazy than the differing opinion in the first place. I’m wanting to get to the root of the difference and he just wants to give up. Sigh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-you-agree-to-disagree#post-2821687 Thu, 10 May 2018 10:20:03 +0000 Sams Mom 2821687@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It depends on the topic, if it is something very near to me (like anything anti cop because my husband is a cop) I get angry. I don't resort to name calling, but I just can't handle the things people assume. </p> <p>Almost all of my friends have drastically different political views than I do, and we just don't talk about it. We talk about our families and books and movies and the bullshit at work and just have all agreed to not agree on politics. </p> <p>My husband and I see eye to eye on almost everything, he is a little more passionate about some things than I am, but I get where he is coming from too. The only thing we have had differences over is some of the stuff with our son. Like we co-sleep, which he was fine with in the beginning because it was best for everyone... 2 years later and he's still not in his own bed. I know he needs to, but it's so hard to make him sleep in his own bed when most nights my husband is at work. I like knowing he's close if anything happens... sooooo that should probably be resolved sooner than later. :| </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-you-agree-to-disagree#post-2821671 Thu, 10 May 2018 09:46:23 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2821671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: I met up with some neighbors to canvas for Obama during his first term at a Starbucks.. Some of the ladies got in a heated discussion with some first responders who were very much opposed to liberal policies like Welfare. There was some dog whistling going on, but what stayed with me was the first responder said he saw firsthand abuses of the system (materialism) when he was called to respond to incidents like neglect. My neighbors and I did not have that experience to shape or inform our opinion on the policy. I agree with you we all walk too many paths to to reach our opinions let’s just try to understand. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-you-agree-to-disagree#post-2821657 Thu, 10 May 2018 09:18:43 +0000 Mama Bird 2821657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Depends. If I just plain don't agree with them, I can put it out of my mind, or argue with them but without too much venom. If it's something where I think their opinion will get someone hurt, I'll have a very hard time staying calm, and can do anything from having a month-long argument with them to crossing them out of my life for good. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-you-agree-to-disagree#post-2821650 Thu, 10 May 2018 09:06:35 +0000 erinbaderin 2821650@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hate to argue and don’t do well expressing my opinion - I tend to get flustered and emotional - so I much prefer to agree to disagree. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-you-agree-to-disagree#post-2821647 Thu, 10 May 2018 09:00:18 +0000 nana87 2821647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It depends on what it is and who it's with. I'm pretty good about seeing multiple sides, but I'm also a researcher/academic by training and it's literally my job to gather evidence and then use it to make a thesis-driven argument, and argue against other interpretations of that evidence, lol. In my personal life, there isn't much that I disagree with dh, my parents, or my close friends about that I feel super passionately about. </p> <p>Not that we don't argue, but if it isn't something major it just blows over. Like, yesterday I was furious with dh--the water in our apartment building was turned off during the day for maintenance, and he assumed I remembered, but I had forgotten. I went to the gym after dropping the girls off at daycare and then came home (we both work from home, btw...). I went to take a shower and there was no water, of course, but I had a meeting later that day and needed to get dressed professionally. If he had reminded me before I left with the girls, I would have taken my clothes to change at the gym. He saw me wearing gym clothes and imo, he should have reminded me about the water. I was *pissed* and neither of us really conceded the argument but it's blown over now, lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-you-agree-to-disagree#post-2821641 Thu, 10 May 2018 08:43:08 +0000 DesertDreams88 2821641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Same, @Madison43: . </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-you-agree-to-disagree#post-2821639 Thu, 10 May 2018 08:40:53 +0000 Ajsmommy 2821639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Madison43: I used to be so bad and I'd argue and argue bc I just can't believe someone could think so differently. And then as I got older I realized so much goes into our views and beliefs and everyone is so vastly different that there's no way we're all ever going to agree. I kinda got perspective as I got older. I also think meeting DH brought about this too. Bc he's my soulmate and I love him so much but there are somethings we just differ on and that's ok. </p> <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: yeah politics is one thing DH and I avoid. Although we tend to agree about the "big" things we can't sometimes talk about them or the smaller things... not sure if that makes sense. Like we see similarly but from different angles. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-you-agree-to-disagree#post-2821635 Thu, 10 May 2018 08:25:00 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2821635@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For a very, very long time I could ignore topics DH and I disagreed on because we are adults. However, co parenting is much more difficult when we are not on the same page. I am intervening more when I see LO stressed because of the way DH does things. Ex. DH thinks LO should eat everything on his plate and I am okay if he tells me he’s finished and the one thing I really wanted him to eat is still there. The way I handle it with DH is having support (expert) and reiterating the normalcy of the behavior and that it’s NBD. Talking politics with DH is annoying AF. I’d say we are pretty similar in what we like or don’t like about what’s going on. However, he’s so nonchalant about the suffering and abuse that happens when countries are at war. I refuse to engage with him because he just wants to be right and not only have his perspective heard (I hear him), but also accepted.</p> <p>At work, it’s easy I don’t discuss hot topics and if they come up I am the master of the not so subtle pivot. :grin: No one really wants to hear what I have to say and I surely don’t want to give a platform to a soapbox.</p> <p>With my parents and brother I am a bit argumentative and it’s not even that we disagree. I just don’t like exaggeration and they always exaggerate like “Trump is getting away with this...” Oh really? Have you seen the coverage on cable news? Seriously, the only reason you know x,y,z is because you turned on CNN. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-you-agree-to-disagree#post-2821628 Thu, 10 May 2018 07:32:07 +0000 Madison43 2821628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Truthfully, not great. I don’t resort to name calling but as a lawyer and someone that just likes to talk, I tend to think that if I just keep explaining and debating I’ll ultimately convert someone to my perspective. Not my finest quality and it drives my husband bonkers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/can-you-agree-to-disagree#post-2821621 Thu, 10 May 2018 07:01:39 +0000 Ajsmommy 2821621@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How well do you deal with it when others have a different point of view than you? Something you completely disagree with? Do you get defensive, angry, resort to name calling or can you just agree to disagree?</p> <p>Nobody agrees on everything. DH and I have a few "areas" in which we strongly differ on our opinions however we respect each other and we are able to agree to disagree. We don't name call or argue until we are blue in the face bc it's just a fact that not everybody is always going to agree.</p> <p>So, how are you at agreeing to disagree? How do you react when you are faced with someone who has a completely different view from you on something? </p>