https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 05 May 2026 22:41:27 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help/page/2#post-2411332 Wed, 06 Jan 2016 13:10:43 +0000 snowjewelz 2411332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: I was reading through this thread and not expecting to read this update at the end! I'm so sorry :sad: This was def not a good solution to your problem! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help/page/2#post-2411296 Wed, 06 Jan 2016 12:46:19 +0000 Astro Bee 2411296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AutumnMama79: We have two cats that DH and I got shortly after we were married. The cats that have passed the over the past few years were our childhood cats, they lived to be 17, 18, 20 (x2) and 21 yrs old. I've attached a picture of the memento that we got through our vet so you can see what the final product looks like. I wasn't sure if it would be too late for your cats, since they'd already passed. I'm really glad your vet suggested it. </p> <p>We haven't had any problems with our cats since having our baby. He's 9 months now, and one of them lets him crawl on her. She's never hissed at him even, never mind clawed at him. If he pulls too hard on her fur, she just runs away. The other just stays out of his way, but if he cries comes over to check on him. They don't jump in his crib at all, but did explore it a few times before he was born, though I did try to discourage it. They follow us into his nursery and keep me company when feeding him. I haven't noticed any jealousy at all, although we have been careful to pay lots of attention to them still. I am looking forward to having my son grow up with pets (as I did), as I think they are great for kids to learn gentleness and compassion. </p> <p>If you do decide down the road to get another cat, assuming your DH agrees to handle the litter properly, they can be trained to stay off furniture. We allow ours on beds and the couch, but they stay off everything else. A spray bottle of water works wonders. </p> [attach=5397/16/o0jld8.450x600.image.jpg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help/page/2#post-2411152 Wed, 06 Jan 2016 11:54:16 +0000 Autumnmama79 2411152@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ldh112: Thats a great idea to bury something of the cats, we have a huge park nearby. Maybe their favourite toys or something. Thank you for the suggestion. </p> <p>@Astro Bee: Thanks mama. We are having the paw plasters made through the vet so those will be nice mementos. Maybe if we put them in a shadow box along with a pic. So creative the company that paints the plaques the same colour as the fur! Will/do you have more pets now that you have a little one? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help/page/2#post-2410700 Tue, 05 Jan 2016 22:07:20 +0000 Astro Bee 2410700@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AutumnMama79: So sorry to hear of your family's loss of both your pets. That's really rough. We have experienced both long, lingering illnesses, as well as accidents, with ours. Hugs to you all. </p> <p>One thing that we have done in the past is have a plaster cast made of the pawprint. It's something that our vet offered. They also snipped off a piece of their fur, and sent it to a company to have the cast plaque painted with their fur colours. It's a little pricey, and it's probably not possible in your case. An alternative would be a shadow box with a picture and a few items of theirs. Maybe with a picture of your husband or daughter with the cats? </p> <p>Lastly, there are a lot of sellers on Etsy that make little memorial stones (or wood carvings) for pets. Name, dates, little phrase, that sort of thing. I don't know if there is a "final resting place" for them or not, but the memorial stone could be placed in your apartment somewhere. They're usually pretty small. We have one in our garden. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help/page/2#post-2410506 Tue, 05 Jan 2016 18:37:03 +0000 ldh112 2410506@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: I'm so sorry. Losing pets is so tough. There isn't much else I can say. I think what you're doing is very sweet. Maybe some type of memorial service? I know you're in an apartment but maybe you go to a park or something and bury some type of memento of the cats? Hugs to your family! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help/page/2#post-2410372 Tue, 05 Jan 2016 16:03:38 +0000 Autumnmama79 2410372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sad update:</p> <p>After me coming to terms with the cats staying and DH working really hard to ensure there was no smell or mess, we sadly lost both cats in the past few days. On new years day, one cat got out the window and began walking the ledge and then he fell. We live on the 14th floor and there was no way he could've survived. The other cat battled liver failure for the past few weeks and had a feeding tube for the last 2 days. She died in DH's arms last night. </p> <p>DD had a hard time with the first death and I haven't even told her about the second last night.... (this morning I just said that DH took her to the vet) How do you tell a 6 year old that BOTH their pets are now dead? :crying:</p> <p>I just ordered DH and DD mugs from shutterfly with the cats pictures on them. What else can I do do signify the loss? DH is beside himself with sadness :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help/page/2#post-2321861 Thu, 15 Oct 2015 13:55:39 +0000 Umbreon 2321861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think having the cats around for your child's first year is actually beneficial. From what I've read, it can reduce the likelihood your child will develop allergies. </p> <p>The litterbox shouldn't smell if it's cleaned on a regular basis. Maybe you need to switch to a better cat litter? I have two litterboxes in the house and I can only smell it if I stick my nose in the box. After a cat uses it, sometimes the smell will linger a bit, but really that's no different than when one of us uses the washroom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help/page/2#post-2321816 Thu, 15 Oct 2015 13:37:18 +0000 MenagerieMama 2321816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: Okay so I didn't read all the above posts, but we have 2 indoor cats (and 2 dogs) and LO is now 12 mo. I'm a dog person, DH is a cat person, if it were up to me we would have probably punted the cats to my ILs a while ago but I'm also a big animal sucker and DH would have cried. We are very much a forever pet family unless there is an extreme safety issue. Our cats have some high needs: can't be on carpet (so can't go upstairs) because one cat will pee on carpet so we have creative gates and keep doors closed, dog toys/bed can't be left unattended because said cat will pee on them so we put them up when we leave the room, one cat is on a diet so they are fed in separate ways. They both go on the furniture, they do avoid the table/counter when we're home to pretend they never do but we know they do when we are gone. They shed like crazy. </p> <p>That being said, of our 4 animals, the one that LO loves the most and the one who loves LO the most (will wake up out of a dead sleep when he hears her go in her play area and run there to get petted) is the cat who has the peeing issue. Who knew. I called him devil cat for years and he's redeeming himself.</p> <p>Things that help:<br /> - litter box in room only cats can access (where our water heater is with cat door), lots of tracking mats<br /> - Roomba (seriously, we talked about this for years but were put off on the price, and it's been worth it's weight in gold the first month alone) we run every night<br /> - brushing the cats (okay so we don't do this but we should)<br /> - big cat tree in the living room that gives them their own zone<br /> - multiple litter boxes cleaned daily +/- air purifier in the area</p> <p>But overall we just coexist. The cats aren't allowed in the nursery. They leave the stroller alone. LO does consume a decent amount of cat/dog fur probably but she doesn't care and there are actually some studies showing a healthier immune system for LOs exposed to pets in the home as infants. </p> <p>If DH suggested we get rid of the dogs because they annoyed him, I would kindly suggest he leave if he was annoyed! So likewise for the cats (though to be fair during the worst of evil cat's issues he did go to the ILs for a few months so we didn't end up divorced and repaired our apartment).</p> <p>So tl;dr - the issues you mention are completely manageable, and I feel like worth working through. Pets should be forever. And your DH clearly is attached. Kids and pets can coexist well even if it means more work.</p> <p>ETA: Also since DH is the cat person, he has to clean the cat litter. We considered an electronic litter box but I think our evil (and flighty anxious) cat would be scared of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help#post-2319957 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 15:49:46 +0000 Autumnmama79 2319957@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: Lol no I don't want to make them outdoor cats. They'd be dead meat as we live on the 14th floor! I was just saying that my family had outdoor cats growing up and I thought that was perfect, no muss, no fuss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help#post-2319942 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 15:39:59 +0000 ShootingStar 2319942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: You live downtown and you want to make your cats outdoor cats? :shocked: Or did I read that wrong?</p> <p>Your husband has to step up, end of story. How will he be raising a child if he can't manage to stay on top of litter boxes? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help#post-2319929 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 15:31:09 +0000 Truth Bombs 2319929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: I mean, honestly, no. Certainly there are things I wish my husband would help with more around the house, but when I ask him to, he does. If your husband wants to keep the cats, he needs to take care of the cats. I would have a very frank discussion with him about what are reasonable expectations for the care of the cats and if he doesn't stick to them, re-home them. It's not fair to you, or to the cats, for him to ignore the responsibility of caring for them. And I would want to have this ironed out well before you bring home a baby and there is another living thing that he needs to step up and help care for. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help#post-2319910 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 15:19:41 +0000 reverie 2319910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think when things annoy you, you find reasons to be annoyed. My cat, like most cats, tends to sleep in a ball 90% of the time. It is kind of annoying the other 10% is her clawing at something at 4am while trying to sleep, but she never pays much attention to my kid. Also have you switched litters? I used tidy cats multi cat formula and it works really well / no smell / very little litter is found outside the immediate area around the litter box. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help#post-2319896 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 15:10:51 +0000 littlejoy 2319896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is there any solution you would agree to that wouldn't involve getting rid of them? Cats litter/food/beds in the basement or separate space that you can close them in? A catio? </p> <p>While I think it's unreasonable to expect him to get rid of them because you're afraid of what *could* happen ... I do think it's totally okay that you share your concerns and set very clear expectations. If expectations can't be met, then revisit and consider re-homing to his parents place. If he can't see that these boundaries and tasks are important to you, then there are obviously deeper concerns. </p> <p>FWIW, we have a cat and 2 dogs. All of them are total pains, but we've coexisted fine since LO was born. It just works. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help#post-2319744 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 14:01:15 +0000 Chuckles 2319744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had two cats when our LO was born, and I was really worried about it because they are (were, I guess, one passed away this summer) very attached to me. I pictured them jumping in the crib, walking on the baby, scratching him, whatever.<br /> And it was totally fine. Even the cat who was basically my first baby, snuggling with me all the time, was a total champ. He would snuggle on the other side of me and sit in the baby's room on the rug while he napped. It was so sweet.<br /> The maintenance is a different issue. Right now we have the litter box in the shower of our hall bathroom which we don't use (obviously). It's perfect because any litter that gets kicked out of the box stays in the shower instead of getting tracked everywhere. Is there any more contained place where you can put the litter box? And I second the idea of putting the litter box on a piece of carpet or mat to keep the litter contained. I agree that I *hate* when it gets tracked around. Also, it sounds like you've talked with your DH about this, but have you had a very serious talk with him about how the cats should be re-homed if he doesn't step up with caring for them? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help#post-2319672 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 13:22:06 +0000 rosegold 2319672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>let me know how it pans out for you and your babe! they're cute and cuddly but I have a strong belief in them having their OWN space and social structure and instincts. I hate when are personified. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help#post-2319668 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 13:20:04 +0000 Eko 2319668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am a cat lover and have 2 indoor cats of my own. I think it would be wise to first try to co-exist. Some helpful tips regarding the kitty box is we have carpet underneath the litter box that helps capture the excess litter, use baking soda in the litter for smell, and change the litter frequently. We live in a tiny apartment and have only one box for the two cats. If we had more it would be like a box in each room, which to me is absurd. Cat hair is not the only hair that will get all over your LO. My hair ends up all over DS more than anything. You can train the cats not to jump on certain furniture. We have an off limits to our bed, crib, and baby glider. We trained the cats using a spray bottle with water. Sometimes they like to sneak up, but it's a non-issue because it's infrequent. </p> <p>With that being said, I think like other pp mentioned it is important to get DH on board with helping keep cat things clean. If DH is unwilling to help then you probably will have other fish to fry besides the cats, but if DH is unwilling to help then maybe it would work out better for the cats and you if they were re-homed. I briefly thought about it one night when I got up for a feeding and stepped in cat vomit. I think though, if you were to re-home them, I doubt you would want to take them back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help#post-2319636 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 13:05:48 +0000 MrsSRS 2319636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Tell DH that since he's worried about a burden on his parents he can buy them an automated litter box?</p> <p>We're two kids in, almost thirty, and I think the responsibility thing is starting to finally sink into that man skull now... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help#post-2319635 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 13:05:47 +0000 babycanuck 2319635@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My vet told me to put tin foil anywhere I don't want the cat - so I put it under the bassinet mattress and will put it outside the baby's door when he arrives to keep her out. DH hates my cat, but like other posters - if he suggested me getting rid of them, I'd honestly tell him where to go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help#post-2319621 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 13:00:04 +0000 avivoca 2319621@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: Okay, so if you do not successfully negotiate re-homing your cats, here are a few things you can do. First, you really need one more cat litter box. The rule of thumb is # of cat boxes = # of cats + one. Ideally, that would be 3 boxes, but we do fine with two. you would think it would make the smell worse, but it's really a lot better. Second, covered boxes contain the smell much better than uncovered boxes, and I think Mrs. Bee posted awhile ago and suggested stainless steel pans as cat boxes because they don't hold on to the smell like plastic does.</p> <p>Also, your husband really needs to step up on this. If this is his one responsibility, it shouldn't be too hard for him to take five minutes out of his day to scoop the cat boxes.</p> <p>A really simple thing to do to mitigate the smell is to also strike a match near the boxes. It gets rid of the smell quite nicely. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help#post-2319610 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 12:55:38 +0000 mrbee 2319610@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: I am not a cat lover... just married to one! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help#post-2319603 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 12:54:08 +0000 Autumnmama79 2319603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@avivoca: We live in a 2 bed &amp; den condo downtown, theres not a ton of extra room. The cat litter box is currently in a little nook off the hallway. In a small space every inch counts and it would be great to store the stroller in that space. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help#post-2319597 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 12:52:30 +0000 Autumnmama79 2319597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rosegold: Yes! This this this! I grew up with outdoor cats too and they were great. Came inside to eat and maybe sleep but thats it! Kept to themselves and definitely kept their smells and mess out of the house. I'm going to have to keep pushing for this, its really important to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help#post-2319593 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 12:52:00 +0000 avivoca 2319593@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: Is there any way you can move the cat boxes to a part of the house you aren't in a lot? Also, how many boxes do you have? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help#post-2319591 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 12:50:46 +0000 Autumnmama79 2319591@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: That sounds neat. I guess I wasn't looking for ways we could keep the cats, I'm looking for support to help me negotiate moving the cats out. But again, cat lovers abound! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help#post-2319586 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 12:48:01 +0000 Autumnmama79 2319586@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Goose: The cats are around 7 and around 3 years old. </p> <p>@avivoca: We recently switched to walnut shell litter and its a bit better but still... I am very sensitive to smells and to me theres nothing worse than cat feces and urine. I don't know how people, including DH can tolerate it!</p> <p>@Madison43: @Truth Bombs: Sigh, aren't all men still learning about being an adult and responsibility? Maybe just mine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help#post-2319578 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 12:43:58 +0000 rosegold 2319578@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i don't enjoy indoor cats. I think they thrive better outside and just kind of think keeping them in is gross as they're animals. luckily we live in the woods and have had outdoor cats that we let in to eat or if it's frigid out. i lost sleep over what I would do with them around a newborn. a neighbor has actually taken them on until my lo is a year old. if I was you and I believed strongly you were making the right decision and had the option of rehoming them temporarily I would push. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help#post-2319570 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 12:41:29 +0000 rosegold 2319570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: as someone who would give the cats the boot initially... I actually agree with all of this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help#post-2319539 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 12:24:09 +0000 Truth Bombs 2319539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: Does your husband think he is also going to be able to just not do the things that are necessary to take care of a baby? Sounds like he needs to learn about being an adult and taking responsibility..... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help#post-2319538 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 12:23:41 +0000 mrbee 2319538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: It's not cheap, but he could get a Litter Robot which should take care of the daily cleanings and also trap the smell!</p> <p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Litter-Robot-Automatic-Self-Cleaning-Beige/dp/B000LJDLKG/" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/Litter-Robot-Automatic-Self-Cleaning-Beige/dp/B000LJDLKG/</a></p> <p>We used to have one and it was AMAZING! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cats-amp-newborn-pls-help#post-2319531 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 12:17:52 +0000 Madison43 2319531@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's sounds like the cats are your BEC. I get it, we have an indoor cat but are definitely not "cat" people so to speak. I like my cat but that's pretty much it and my husband tolerates him because he's mine :-) The cat is not allowed in the bedrooms so those doors are closed all time and it's really not a big deal. The biggest issue we have is cat hair because my cat sheds more than any other cat I've seen. We have a cleaning person and we vacuum almost every single day. It's a PITA but its completely doable. It sounds like the bigger issue is your husband - it's really not fair for you to do all the household work and cat care. He should step up somewhere..... </p>