https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 11 May 2026 08:34:27 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1195729 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 18:12:55 +0000 Ree723 1195729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all for the reassurance and advice! It's encouraging to hear that in most cases, it's not as big of a deal to leave the older child as we fear it may be. I'm hoping it's just my pregnancy hormones that is making this so difficult!</p> <p>Ideally, I'd love for someone to come stay in our house as I think E would do better being in a familiar environment, but given our friends have a three year old of their own, that's not a possibility. My mom is flying over two weeks after the baby is due - she'd offered to come out before the due date but DH really wants his two weeks paternity leave to be just us, adjusting to life as a family of four. For the record, he also thinks it will be good for E to be away from me for a night or two, so this is such a non-issue for him!</p> <p>MIL will be back in Australia temporarily by then, albeit a four hour flight away from us. She's offered to fly up to babysit E but it's a $500 flight and DH still wants our time as a family, so it would basically be 'hey, fly up, babysit, and then bugger off when we arrive home from the hospital', which of course is not very fair. And then trying to figure out the dates to have her come would be quite tricky as babies are never very punctual! </p> <p>Ah well, I think I'll just have to accept there will be some tears but E will be just fine. I'll keep with my plan of having our friend babysit during my midwife appts and also will consider not having E visit us in hospital as it may make things worse. </p> <p>Thanks all for your helpful words! :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1194736 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 12:00:16 +0000 Mrs. Train 1194736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My oldest was 8.5 months when my twins were born, I was crazy worried about leaving him for several days. But when it came time to do it I just knew I had a job to do. I had to bring my twins into this world and my son would survive a few days without me, even though he might be sad. He was in good hands and I knew he would be ok. He stayed with my sister so that my husband and parents could be at the hospital with me. </p> <p>When my daughter was born we had several people helping. I had a cousin (who my kids look at as an uncle) he stayed with us the night before so he was here with boys in the morning. My husband stayed during the day with me at the hospital but went home for their bed time. It did leave me at the hospital taking care of a baby by myself after a c section but I knew it was what was best for the boys so we managed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1194691 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 11:41:22 +0000 lamariniere 1194691@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ree723: I totally get it. My MIL has been very vocal about wanting to be here for the birth, but I REALLY don't want that, I would rather pay someone than have her intrude. I like making life difficult, I suppose. I'm just glad I've found a handful of willing people. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1194666 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 11:26:37 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 1194666@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had a very similar situation. In short, I went into labor at midnight, DH booked flights for his mom at 2 am so she would be there the next day. At 7 am DH called one of my friends that has kids and she met us at the hospital at 8 am. She had him until about 6 pm ( the baby was born 11 am), at which point DH picked him up did the bedtime routine (first time in his life without me) and one of DH's friends came to sleep at our house so that DH could come back to the hospital to stay with me. We came home the next morning and MIL was just arriving as well. Basically it was a little crazy but at the time I really couldn't be bothered with the details and LO did just fine for that one day. FWIW he was also just shy of 20 months and I think being so young was actually an advantage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1194619 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 11:11:44 +0000 littlek 1194619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yin: congrats!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1194569 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 10:48:42 +0000 lavender 1194569@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yin: congrats!</p> <p>We don't have a plan just yet, but it'll probably involve my MIL watching LO while I'm having #2. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1194478 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 09:54:47 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1194478@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just thinking out loud, but you could you take your LO with you to the hospital and have your friends meet you there? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1194471 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 09:53:22 +0000 Mrs. Bee 1194471@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Olive came 5 weeks early so we were completely unprepared. Luckily a babysitter we used regularly spent the night with Charlie. She had to come to the hospital to pick Charlie up after work. </p> <p>My mom hopped on a redeye flight as soon as I was in labor, and she watched Charlie while I was in the hospital. Charlie was 22 months at the time and was totally fine. Mr. Bee went back and forth between home and the hospital because Olive had an extended stay so I stayed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1194442 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 09:37:54 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 1194442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We just went through this too after our inlaws flaked on us. We ended up having a trusted neighbor watch LO. She stayed at our house the whole day and slept there, too. The next morning I was able to send DH home to relieve her. LO did great, but I think it was key that the neighbor came to our house and followed his normal routine. Neighbor also babysat a couple times, and we bump into her a lot, so he was comfortable with her.</p> <p>One other piece of advice -- if you think your LO will have a hard time, you may want to nix the hospital visit or hold off until you can all leave together. We waited until I was being discharged because I knew he would flip if he had to leave without me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1194406 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 09:19:15 +0000 mrs. wagon 1194406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was very lucky in that my mom was willing to come up before my due date and stay with us for a while so that when I went into labor and we left for the hospital, she'd be home with Wagon Jr. I ended up being induced so we left the house before he woke up. I didn't want to deal with goodbyes and he was fine with my mom first thing in the morning. We also did not have him visit the hospital. I didn't want to deal with tears or him not wanting to leave us. </p> <p>Just in case I went into labor before my mom got there, we prepped our friend who lives down the road. She is married without kids and sits for us every now and then, so she was totally willing to be our backup. We installed a carseat in her car and let the daycare know that she may pick him up one day (or drop him off too). If we went into labor, she'd take over for him and my parents would get in the car and drive to us (about 6 hours away)... so they'd be able to relieve her within a day's notice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1194377 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 08:55:46 +0000 mynoahbear 1194377@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've had to work out the same problem. I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant and have a 22 month old. We also live in Beijing and both of our families are all back in the States. Luckily, my mom is retired, so we are flying her out to us to help with DD.<br /> I was also really worried because she was/is really clingy but fortunately, in the last month or so, she has become much better. We have a housekeeper, who watches DD while I run errands or have plans. I always had to plan my activities during her nap time, otherwise, she would start screaming and crying when I left. Now, she actually will say bye and play with our housekeeper.<br /> Hopefully, since you still have a few months, maybe as your LO gets a few months older, the clinginess will become less. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1194364 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 08:47:10 +0000 lemondrop 1194364@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ree723: You spell out my anxieties perfectly! Your post made me tear up since I'm right there with you (damn hormones!) I think leaving her with them during appointments is a brilliant idea though both for her and you!</p> <p>This is at the front of our minds ever since we started planning #2. We don't do sitters except for family, and our closest family is 1 1/2 hours away- with C, I went very fast, so along with my mega attachment issues, I'm not sure we can wait that long for them to get here! I've basically been told to run, not walk to the hospital when labor starts. We have very sweet retiree neighbors if we get into a pinch, but that will skyrocket my anxiety. </p> <p>I'm also worried about after, C was jaundiced and spent time in the NICU, it was hard enough having my husband in and out for regular pet care, now he'll spend more time at home with C, I was a super hot mess being alone then- what if the same thing happens? I'm mentally preparing myself for it again, but I've never cried so much before and knowing it may not be a quick escape from the hospital freaks me out. I'm hoping that this being the second time helps, not our first rodeo after all, right?</p> <p>One thing that makes me feel better- I was almost 4 when my brother was born, I remember waking up and going to my parents room to find my grandpa sleeping in my parents' bed. It didn't upset me (and my parents were king and queen of attachment parenting! zero babysitters, not even the grandparents), I was fine and am not even remotely scarred by it. My 26 month old and your 19 month old definitely won't remember a thing!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1194353 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 08:39:03 +0000 mrs. wagon 1194353@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Leaving a note here so I remember to respond later!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1194350 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 08:38:24 +0000 skipra 1194350@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not due until May but already worried about this! I'm also a SAHM and have never spent the night away from DS. We went out late one time and my mom babysat and had an awful time because he woke up and would not go back to sleep for her.<br /> I'm really nervous because last time I was induced but this time we are hoping to avoid that so we just won't know the timing. We are moving and will be further from the hospital and our family so if I were to go into labor during rush hour it could be tricky. As of right now I'm thinking my mom will come stay with us at the first signs of labor and we will cross our fingers that DH will be able to be at home to get DS to bed. If my mom is willing, we're going to see if she will babysit and try to get DS to bed while we go out for dinner or something a couple times before I'm due just in case. As for after the baby is born - if we are both healthy then the plan is for DH to spend the night at home rather than in the hospital. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1194345 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 08:35:56 +0000 MamaBehr 1194345@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We ended up having a baby sitter come, DD had been left with her a few times. DD was upset when we left, she didn't get what was going on, but she got over it. We don't have any family here and at the time knew almost no one. Luckily this babysitter and her family were awesome and the mom came as well, so the mom helped with bath and getting DD down and then the babysitter slept over. AND I was suppose to have a scheduled c-section, but my water broke, so the best laid plans.... </p> <p>What I would do if I were you is, ask this family that you like to start coming over for play dates, where you disappear a little bit. Get your daughter use to them and use to you leaving. </p> <p>For what is is worth, I was just as upset about this before having my second, but she ended up doing great! DH didn't stay in the hospital with me much, I made sure he was always home for wake up/bed time, and most meals. He slept in the hospital that first night, because of the spinal (even though DS was in the NICU and I didn't need the help anyways!) and my inability to move, but that was the only night. He just hung out with me and DS for a few hours at a time and then would go home. </p> <p>GOOD LUCK! And, if you have any more questions feel free to ask me, I totally get this and we are about to have our third in 8 weeks, so I get to go through all this again with TWO kiddos at home! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1194343 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 08:33:55 +0000 purrpletulips 1194343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our plan was for my parents to watch DD (29m) while I was delivering DS; however since they lived 3 hrs away we had a back-up plan in place. Our plan involved some friends from church who DD adores picking her up from daycare (or coming to our house if at night). They would stay with DD until my parents could get there.</p> <p>In the end I was induced on a Sunday so my parents were able to come the day before. We tucked DD in and told her we wouldn't be there when she woke up but that grandma and grandpa would be, she didn't have any trouble because she was just excited that they were there to spend time with her (I honestly don't recall if she asked where DH and I were). My parents brought her to the hospital to meet her new brother the evening I delivered and then we came home from the hospital the next day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1194342 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 08:32:34 +0000 oliviaoblivia 1194342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yin: OMG! Congrats!!</p> <p>@Ree723: I'd take E in a heartbeat. I'll likely be a repeat csection and my plan (not pregnant, but thinking ahead) will be for my parents to fly in ahead of time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1194330 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 08:18:30 +0000 Andrea 1194330@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yin: omg congrats!!</p> <p>I had my mom and dad fly 12 hours to come stay with DD! I didn't want to leave her with anyone else and I was lucky that they could come. I hope your hospital stay will be short so that you can get back home to DD quickly. It sounds like she will be in good hands! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1194315 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 08:04:44 +0000 Ree723 1194315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lamariniere: Same here! I've even been tossing around the idea of sending DH back to E once I've gotten the epidural and only returning to hospital once it's time to push, but that may make things worse. Regardless, once LO #2 is here and we're all settled in our pp room, I definitely want DH to head back to our daughter as I'd rather him be with her than with me. Sigh, it's hard living so far from family! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1194310 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 08:02:34 +0000 bushelandapeck 1194310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yin: Congratulations!</p> <p>I don't have any advice, as I am newly pregnant with #2 and already worrying about this same issue. Luckily, we do have family somewhat close by but they have never watched DS for any length of time, let alone overnight. I'm hoping we will be able to use our current nanny that we have 2 days/week and that family can come and help out too. DS is quite attached to me and, so far, I have never spent the night without him! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1194305 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 07:56:35 +0000 Ree723 1194305@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yin: Wow, congrats on the arrival of your second baby boy! Exciting news! I'm sorry to hear it was a rough transition getting out of the house but glad to hear your DS has taken to his little brother already! How old is your DS, if you don't mind me asking? I'm trying to figure out just how much DD will understand at 19 months old... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1194303 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 07:55:33 +0000 lamariniere 1194303@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are also dealing with this as we have no family or really close friends nearby. Over the last few weeks I have talked to a few people, neighbors, friends, several babysitters and our cleaning lady and have enlisted all of these people to be on call when the big day arrives. The main problem for us is that DD is due just before Christmas and practically everyone is leaving right before or right on her due date, so I'm hoping she will be a few days early since I currently only have 2 options for if she arrives after her EDD. While DS doesn't have too many attachment/separation problems, I'm not really sure how he is going to feel about being left with a babysitter while we are in the hospital. Our main concern is to have someone available during the labor/delivery. After that, I'm less worried about having DH in the hospital with me, so at least he can be with DS. Like you, I'm hoping for a short stay in the hospital once the baby is born. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1194292 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 07:48:36 +0000 yin 1194292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just experienced this yesterday, and it wasn't easy, even with family nearby and childcare arrangements. I went into labor around 3:20AM. DS woke up while we were getting ready. He climbed into our bed hoping to sleep with us and was completely surprised by DH's explanation of what was going on. He cried. :( </p> <p>My sister watches him 3-4x a week and even having her there to care for him for a few hours before my FIL arrived was too much for him to handle. He just wanted us to stay home. Luckily explaining everything helped get him through the morning so that we could leave the house. (Good thing because baby came only two hours later). </p> <p>He did come to visit after baby was born, and he didn't show any jealousy. Was very sweet and caring towards his baby brother. He just wanted normalcy again though. Wanted to stay with us at the hospital or for us to all return back home. Can't wait to leave tomorrow morning and be back home with my little guy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/childcare-for-lo-1-when-labour-begins-with-lo-2-how-did-you-do-it#post-1194279 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 07:39:31 +0000 Ree723 1194279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>...especially if you live far from family and close friends?!</p> <p>I'm currently 27 weeks with our second LO but already panicking a bit about care for DD when it comes time to have the baby. DD will be 19 months at the time and has never been away from me for more than a couple of hours. I'm a SAHM and we live quite far from our families (different continents actually), so we just haven't really had the opportunity to get DD used to being cared for by other people. Needless to say, she's a huge momma's girl.</p> <p>We've recently relocated cross country but have made some friends here, mainly DH's work colleagues and their families. One in particular we are somewhat close with and we've asked them to watch DD whilst I'm in hospital, to which they've agreed. They have a 3 yr old of their own and they live two minutes away from the hospital. I completely trust them and my DD seems pretty comfortable with the mum, so it should work out ok, in theory, to drop DD off there on the way to the hospital.</p> <p>I just can't shake the thought though that DD is going to be super upset when she sees me leave and I'm not going to be able to do anything about it. I know I'm being silly, but it just makes me sad to think she'll be crying and not having any idea of what's going on and why mummy is leaving her. I'm going to start dropping her off there whilst I have my midwife appts so she can get used to being there but I just don't know how she'll go with an overnight stay.</p> <p>So for those of you with more than one child, how did you handle the child care arrangements when giving birth? Was your LO ok with being left? Did it stress you out worrying about them? What did/would you do to make things as easy as possible?</p> <p>Sorry for the long, rambling post. I'm a hormonal mess this pregnancy and I hate the thought of being away from my daughter overnight! I'm hoping it is only one night - I want to be back home with E as soon as possible!</p> <p>Ps. Can you tell I have major attachment issues?!? </p>