https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Apr 2026 15:16:36 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-a-guardian#post-719395 Tue, 16 Apr 2013 10:11:46 +0000 swurlygurl 719395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's very tough - we're lucky to have lots of family to choose from (that will actually be our problem, which one to choose!).</p> <p>In your case, it seems like the BFF is the best option. You definitely want someone that you trust, and know has good values/morals similar to yours. The fact that they could afford the extra child and save insurance for her future is HUGE! As long as it's something they would agree to, of course. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-a-guardian#post-719361 Tue, 16 Apr 2013 10:01:07 +0000 Foodnerd81 719361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We haven't decided on this yet, or really discussed it even, but I think we will go with my older sister and BIL. They have a son already, and I know my sister would raise my LO like her own and would make sure to keep telling him/her about DH and me. She is family, which is nice, but that wouldn't be the only consideration. I also know that she would make the effort to make sure LO had a relationship with DH's side. </p> <p>However, with her son, they have the father's best friend listed as guardian. You really only need to discuss it with the person you choose-- family doesn't have to know that you chose not to list them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-a-guardian#post-719352 Tue, 16 Apr 2013 09:57:38 +0000 LuLu Mom 719352@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are asking BIL and SIL, they have the best finances and would raise DD closest to us. Next up will be my youngest sister and BIL, they are great parents but less financially off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-a-guardian#post-719343 Tue, 16 Apr 2013 09:53:17 +0000 Ginger333 719343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd go with the friend too. </p> <p>We chose based on who would love and parent our kids as close to how we would as possible and would be willing to take all three of them together. It was important for me that it was a family who was stable, had a close relationship with my kids and that would raise them in our faith. We ended up picking a very good friend of mine to be guardians for our kids, we just have to make it official. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-a-guardian#post-719316 Tue, 16 Apr 2013 09:42:21 +0000 mediagirl 719316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would go with the friend. It sounds like they are your best option and honestly, if the friend is like a brother to your husband, then that makes the idea even more appealing. The only thing I would think about is, does the BFF live close to your families so they would still get to see your lo if something horrible happened? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-a-guardian#post-719286 Tue, 16 Apr 2013 09:35:23 +0000 Smurfette 719286@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Bumping for more advice! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-a-guardian#post-718840 Tue, 16 Apr 2013 07:27:41 +0000 hilsy85 718840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are also probably choosing our close friends over my sister/DH's brother...we just feel like our siblings each have 3 kids, and to add ours would be a huge burden/cause a ton of stress. Our friends currently have no kids, and have similar views and whatnot. We haven't actually made it official yet, I don't know how/whether to tell my sister, because I'm pretty sure she'll be really offended/upset... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-a-guardian#post-718761 Tue, 16 Apr 2013 06:55:36 +0000 buffalove 718761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we're having the same problem and need to make a decision by tonight...our attorney is coming over right after work. i'm kind of in the opposite situation though - we have two good choices among siblings and it's hard to choose between them (and one is my family, one is DH's). I would go with your heart - if a BFF is the best person to promote your values, then that wins in my book. we've been weighing that as well as proximity as the major factors (I ruled one SIL out b/c she lives out of town). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-a-guardian#post-718727 Tue, 16 Apr 2013 06:36:44 +0000 heffalump 718727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would ask my sister if she would want to do it, and make sure to tell her she's not obligated to and I wouldn't be offended if she said no, especially because she's not planning on having kids. And if she didn't want to I'd go with DH's BFF.</p> <p>It took us awhile to figure out who we wanted too. It's a big decision. We finally ended up with my sister, who like you said, would raise my LO like I would and love her to pieces. The only downside is that she lives far away and my and DH's parents live here so I'd hate to take LO away from them..... but DH and I agreed it was the way to go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-a-guardian#post-718707 Tue, 16 Apr 2013 06:08:59 +0000 BananaPancakes 718707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd pick with your heart, and it sounds like your friends are the right match. Your LO doesn't have to go to family, just to the people that will love and care for her most. </p> <p>We chose my SIL and her husband. I would absolutely choose my older sister first, but she is divorced from a moron and is already showing that she still has terrible taste in men. We wouldn't risk our son ending up in the care of some man child with a drug problem. My SIL and BIL are amazing people who would not hesitate for a second to take out son into their home and raise him with as much love as their own children. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-a-guardian#post-718671 Tue, 16 Apr 2013 03:53:30 +0000 sunny 718671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This was so tough. He wanted his mom listed first on the will and I wanted my parents listed first. When my brothers get a little older I hope to be able to put them as the guardians, but right now they are both too young. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-a-guardian#post-718654 Tue, 16 Apr 2013 02:56:55 +0000 loveisstrange 718654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're actually considering our BFFs instead of family as well. My BIL is a deadbeat who has never held a job and we wouldnt trust him to raise her to be a functional adult. My oldest brother's long-time girlfriend is not my favorite person in the world. My middle brother doent want kids, ever. DHs parents are deceased and I feel like mine would be too old. </p> <p>It such a tough spot to be in. I feel like my BFF would raise her right, she gets along with my family and would have no problems spending holidays and such with them, she doesnt have any major vices I should be concerned about... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-a-guardian#post-718644 Tue, 16 Apr 2013 02:06:13 +0000 Smurfette 718644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I need to do a will and decide on a guardian for R. We don't want his sister and BIL for numerous reasons, which we both agree on. We also don't want my brother and SIL, because they are raising their kids totally different then we would do. I really want to have a guardian in the family so that leaves my sister. She is two years older then me, not married, and has said that she doesn't want kids even if she would get married. She doesn't date and doesn't have a lot of friends but even so it would a huge adjustment for her if something would happen to us.</p> <p>Another option we have is DH's BFF, who is like a brother to him, and his wife. They are expecting their first but we both think they would raise R they way we would want too. They could afford the day to day living expenses, so our life insurance could be saved for her college, wedding, etc.</p> <p>What would you do? </p> <p>How did you choose a guardian? </p>