https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 10:45:53 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-an-honour-name-offending-other-side#post-2517728 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 20:28:50 +0000 stiletto_mom 2517728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh the perks of avoiding family names altogether LOL</p> <p>SIL took all the nice family names, so nothing left for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-an-honour-name-offending-other-side#post-2517677 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 19:48:56 +0000 mfa_lady 2517677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I worry about this, too. We honored a very dear aunt of mine with DD's middle name, and I feel like we "owe" DH's family the next middle name. Ha! I know that's ridiculous, but I'm always worried about offending someone. Luckily, there are good options to choose from. However, my main worry is that if it's a boy (I kind of doubt it will be, but we're TG so who knows) my MIL will get mad because it's a name from FIL's side, not hers. Blah. </p> <p>All that to say--your choices are totally fair, but I understand the guilt even if it's unwarranted. You don't owe anybody anything! Your babies--your names. :) Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-an-honour-name-offending-other-side#post-2517672 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 19:43:14 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2517672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for the feed back :)</p> <p>I do love my MIL so I can see using her name if we have another girl, but my mom for sure gets honoured first since she is the best and incredibly helpful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-an-honour-name-offending-other-side#post-2517670 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 19:41:51 +0000 petitenoisette 2517670@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We gave my daughter my mom's middle name as her middle. I have no plans to do the same with my MIL if we have another daughter. I doubt she'd care but honestly, it wouldn't matter to me if I thought she did. Agree with many other posters that my kids are already getting their family name and you just can't honor everyone. I can't see myself using a name for one of my children to honor a person I am frankly not that close to, nor have I been particularly impressed with as a grandmother. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-an-honour-name-offending-other-side#post-2517653 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 19:31:32 +0000 Nutella 2517653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think what you're suggesting sounds just fine! Plus as others have said, your kids will have their last name to honour that side..if you look at it that way. Plus if they are grown up about it, they shouldn't be offended over it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-an-honour-name-offending-other-side#post-2517553 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 16:56:00 +0000 Mrsbells 2517553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I dont think you have to honor each family with every name. Especially if your children have DH's family last name. that should be enough </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-an-honour-name-offending-other-side#post-2517544 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 16:40:33 +0000 catomd00 2517544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are naming DD after MIL. I know my mom will be super pissed but I just don't care. Our baby, our choice. Plus my MIL is more deserving than my mom, so it's kind of her own fault. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-an-honour-name-offending-other-side#post-2517458 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 14:49:18 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2517458@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There's only so many children and so many names that can be used. Don't feel bad about not being able to honor all your loved ones. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-an-honour-name-offending-other-side#post-2517455 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 14:44:50 +0000 ocean81 2517455@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had the same problem! If we were having a boy, DH wanted to name him after his dad. I didn't want to, because I felt bad and didn't wanted to offend my dad(My dad would NOT have cared. This is all me) My husband respected that, so when we had a girl and I wanted to use my mom's middle name as her middle name, we couldn't. The only people that would have cared if we used these names were my husband and I. No regrets though :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-an-honour-name-offending-other-side#post-2517452 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 14:42:01 +0000 avivoca 2517452@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is why I'm only using a family name if it's a boy, since the name has special meaning to both sides. My mom would be the type to get upset if I honored my MIL but not her. Coincidentally, my MIL got really upset with my SIL when they honored her then husband's family (middle name was his deceased father's name) but didn't honor her maiden side with another name. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-an-honour-name-offending-other-side#post-2517451 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 14:41:58 +0000 Ms.Badger 2517451@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skipra: @T.H.O.U.: I agree, my LOs middles honor my family since DH and family get the last name </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-an-honour-name-offending-other-side#post-2517448 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 14:38:23 +0000 Hoots 2517448@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>MIL didn't talk to us for a week after DD's birth because we chose to honor her ex-MIL (DH's grandmother). We basically told her to get over it, and that we in no way considered her or her feelings when naming DD (albeit, slightly nicer). I think ours was a bit of an extreme reaction, and while dramatic, ultimately was pretty easy to weather. She's still pissed, but it hasn't come up again since then. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-an-honour-name-offending-other-side#post-2517436 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 14:25:22 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2517436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dc yoga bee: thanks!! That reminds me I'm named after my moms sister. But she named my younger sister after herself! Not my dads sister. Haha. Ok I'm sticking with honouring my mom! And making no promises that MIL gets the next middle name either :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-an-honour-name-offending-other-side#post-2517431 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 14:24:25 +0000 Mamaof2 2517431@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We used DH's dad's/grandfather's name as DS's middle name and my grandmother's name as DD's middle name</p> <p>we never heard anyone complain </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-an-honour-name-offending-other-side#post-2517430 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 14:23:54 +0000 dc yoga bee 2517430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Champagne: I don't really see it as- if I do your sister for one it has to be his sister for another. That's a bit much to expect of someone else's family to me! You've already honored both sides, and should just name them what you like- whatever they might be :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-an-honour-name-offending-other-side#post-2517428 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 14:22:15 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2517428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LBee: haha yes you're correct! :) and I agree. They get the last name for all kids. A first name for the first born. They are lovely people and im sure they won't be too upset, but my SIL and my BILs wife (is that also called my SIL?) tend to stir up drama so I can see them saying something stupid about it. </p> <p>The other middle name option is my sisters name. But I don't know about that because I'm not willing to use SILs name as a middle for a potential girl down the line. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-an-honour-name-offending-other-side#post-2517427 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 14:21:35 +0000 dc yoga bee 2517427@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I said from the beginning if I had a girl, she would be named after my aunt who died in childbirth. So, that's DD's middle name. MIL and SIL were upset, which is sad. But, I changed my last name to DH's while pregnant, and that was huge for me. They're honored by her having DH's last name, and I didn't hyphenate it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-an-honour-name-offending-other-side#post-2517425 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 14:21:23 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2517425@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kids have my IL's last name. They can have my family names in the first or middle position. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-an-honour-name-offending-other-side#post-2517424 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 14:21:00 +0000 skipra 2517424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I assume (and correct me if I'm wrong!) that all your kids will have DH's last name? Isn't that enough of an honor for his family!?! If there are hurt feelings you can just mention that :wink:<br /> My step-father passed just before I got pregnant with LO1 so we gave him his name as a middle name. My dad was not very happy about it, but he didn't say much or make an issue of it. LO2 has my dad's name as a first name and I don't even think he remembers LO1's middle name now, haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-an-honour-name-offending-other-side#post-2517420 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 14:19:09 +0000 LBee 2517420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I remember correctly (slash creepily), you honored your DH's family with a less popular (not top 1000) name. We did the same thing - we even used a middle name that was a family name for me (but pretty typical, top 10). </p> <p>I'm not pregnant, but when we have the second we plan for the first name to honor my family (or at least a part of the name if we can't agree on the first). If we end up doing another name (like a middle) that honors his family, that's great, but I already feel like I'm (a) carrying on the last name and (b) pretty honored them with my son's name. </p> <p>After reading this I'm not sure if it helps / makes sense, but hopefully so! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-an-honour-name-offending-other-side#post-2517418 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 14:18:44 +0000 sapphire 2517418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can't honor everyone. My LO has my mom's name as a middle. MIL's names are never going to work for us. Hopefully my SIL will honor her in some way. We didn't worry about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-an-honour-name-offending-other-side#post-2517416 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 14:15:31 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2517416@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When we named our son we used a first name from DHs family and a middle from my family (both from our dads sides) </p> <p>This time we are having a girl and don't have a family name for the first so it will just be one we like. </p> <p>I want to use my moms first name as the middle. She's the best and will be so happy. I'm worried about offending DHs family! We are close with them too (our moms are good friends now as well), and another girl can totally have MILs name as the middle. </p> <p>Did anyone else worry about this? My moms name and my MILs name rhyme so we can't use both. And I'm not into combing names, I like the real name to be the name used. </p> <p>Anyone done this before and avoided hurt feelings? </p>