https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 17:59:18 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/4#post-2304139 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 12:10:45 +0000 alphagam84 2304139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BlackLabLove: I'm not even planning to BF when my baby is born in a few weeks and just use formula from the get go. I feel no guilt and am completely at peace with my decision. You aren't alone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/4#post-2303652 Sun, 27 Sep 2015 22:06:59 +0000 Astro Bee 2303652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BlackLabLove: First of all, congratulations on the upcoming birth of your twins; and also, welcome to Hello Bee. I'm glad you found the post helpful. There are so many helpful women (and a few men) on these boards. If you are anxious about how you will handle things, there are several twin moms on here that would be more than willing to share some of their experiences. I'm aware of some that FF and some that BF. But whichever you choose to do, know that you are still providing for your littles as best you can. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/4#post-2303415 Sun, 27 Sep 2015 13:46:21 +0000 BlackLabLove 2303415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I stumbled upon this post while researching FF vs BF and I can't say how happy I am that I did. Today was the first day I said out loud that I have no desire to BF. I am a FTM, expecting twins. Before we found out it was twins, I never really wanted to try, but felt the pressure of others and online boards to try it. Now that I know we're expecting twins, I just don't know how we could do it. </p> <p>The biggest part is help. We are going to need a lot of extra hands with twins (thankfully, my husband and I both have wonderful, willing families). If I BF, I am on my own. Sure, I could pump, etc. but I don't want to put myself through the stress. </p> <p>I am a natural worrier, and at times an anxiety filled person, and I want to have the most calm environment I can for our little one's. I know me, and I know that trying and not succeeding will just not be good. </p> <p>This post has been so helpful. I'm not sure if anyone will even see it, but I just wanted to say THANK YOU! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/4#post-1692087 Tue, 10 Jun 2014 21:54:52 +0000 LovelyPlum 1692087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AmeliaBedilia: thanks :)<br /> @spaniellove: good for you, lady! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/4#post-1692009 Tue, 10 Jun 2014 21:00:37 +0000 AmeliaBedilia 1692009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: This is genius! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/4#post-1690785 Tue, 10 Jun 2014 11:21:11 +0000 sweetooth 1690785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: It really can be traumatic - I had way too many strangers grabbing my boobs. I am happy you have found what works for you and your sweet baby J. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/4#post-1690567 Tue, 10 Jun 2014 09:41:12 +0000 autumnlove 1690567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/4#post-1690563 Tue, 10 Jun 2014 09:39:40 +0000 spaniellove 1690563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As someone who "just tried it" because of guilt, hormones, hospital pressure, etc - I fully believe that no one should be bullied into breastfeeding. When your heart is not in it and you don't want to be doing it but you have a room full of strangers debating your nipples and shoving your hours-old baby at your breast and he is screaming, breastfeeding goes from being "I tried it" to a traumatic experience. </p> <p>I was so relieved when a nurse offered to take him and give him some formula because he hadn't eaten anything, and even better when I told the LC I was going to stop trying to BF and just 100% FF. As she responded, breastfeeding is not worth it if it's causing you stress. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/3#post-1690519 Tue, 10 Jun 2014 09:19:58 +0000 2PeasinaPod 1690519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@loveisstrange: I love everything you say...always :heart: </p> <p>@runnerd: Don't let anyone tell you that you're making the wrong choice or convince you one way or the other. I felt so much pressure to at least try to breastfeed, so I did for the first 3 weeks. I was absolutely miserable. I still felt a lot of pressure from a few people to continue pumping and get LO "just a little" breast milk, so I pumped until I went back to work. When I switched to formula, I couldn't have been happier with my choice and was kicking myself for not doing it sooner or even from the start. You have to do what is best for you and your family, and you don't have to justify your choice to anyone...you just need to be firm with it to those who try to tell you that you need to do something else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/3#post-1690469 Tue, 10 Jun 2014 09:00:03 +0000 sweetooth 1690469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love this thread. I can't tell you how many hours I spent googling breastfeeding issues during those first few months. I did not have a good experience and it definitely left me longing for a better beginning as a mom. </p> <p>I have a good friend who helped me during my transition through a difficult BF experience into the FF life. She said, <i>"When he is applying for college, do you think there's going to be a box to check "Formula Fed" or "Breast Fed"?"</i> It made me crack up. :grin: There are so many decisions you make as a mom, especially during those beginning stages. I say, do what you feel is right. In the end, I'm SO much happier as a formula feeder and I know my boy is nourished. I've definitely considered going straight to formula for #2. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/3#post-1690198 Tue, 10 Jun 2014 05:55:32 +0000 littlek 1690198@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a lot of friends that choose to FF right off the bat. You have to do what is right for you. :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/3#post-1690186 Tue, 10 Jun 2014 05:23:59 +0000 MsLipGloss 1690186@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Zbug: you should start a new thread :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/3#post-1690057 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 21:58:48 +0000 Zbug 1690057@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is slightly off topic, but this thread has made me curious. Right after I gave birth, we did immediate skin to skin and breastfeeding. If you choose to formula fees, does the baby immediately get a bottle? Or are their stomachs so small that they do something else?</p> <p>Sorry about this being off topic and hopefully not one takes offense to the question. I just have no idea how it works. I have several pregnant friends as don't want to be insensitive or clueless if one of them decides not to BF! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/3#post-1689985 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 21:12:13 +0000 Crisark 1689985@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have three children who were all FF. I did have difficulty with my first and wasn't able to but I didn't want to. I just didn't have the desire. And I regret nothing.<br /> Don't feel bad no matter what you choose. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/3#post-1689620 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 17:05:46 +0000 ladybee 1689620@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runnerd: Honestly, I had people tell me my child wouldn't feel as bonded to me or that they wouldn't be as loved if I didn't BF. So I tried EPing for two weeks. I cried EVERYTIME I pumped because my baby would cry and I'd be hooked up to a pump. Plus, I had a low supply thanks to my difficult delivery that turned into a c-section. It was the most horrible experience of my life. My parents pretty much forced me to give it up and it was the BEST thing I ever did. I've gotten to enjoy every minute with my son and he is bonded/loved. </p> <p>It's disgusting that people feel like they have a right to pressure people about such a personal decision. Does anyone tell you which position to have sex or if you should use tampons or pads? No, because it's none of their damn business. Just like how you want to feed your child is no one's business. I was formula fed and I am a successful, loving person. </p> <p>I'm glad you are feeling confident in your choice. Do what feels right for you. If you want to try it, go for it. If you don't, please, please, don't feel bad about it. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/3#post-1689546 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 16:22:56 +0000 JerricaBenton 1689546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like you're feeling more confident, which is great! Just wanted to add that sometimes it feels like everyone thinks x or is doing y from reading HB or other blogs but IRL things can look very different. I know plenty of women who chose not to breastfeed from the beginning and plenty more who breastfed for a very short time. Actually I don't know any other extended bfers in my area. I hope you don't get any negative feedback about your choice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/3#post-1689511 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 16:08:05 +0000 Shutterbug 1689511@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runnerd: Super late to the thread, and it sounds like you're feeling more confident in your choice now, but I just wanted to share my BFF's experience in case it will help you. She knew right away that she didn't want to BF at all (her main reason was feeling uncomfortable with the actual physical BFing, seconded by the feeling tied/scheduled). She was very clear about her plans with her OB all the way though her pregnancy, and in the hospital they wrote it on the white board (there was a spot that said something like "I'm breastfeeding/bottlefeeding" and you circled the one that applied). She wasn't asked ONCE about BFing by anyone in the hospital, and we live in the liberal northeast. She had an extremely positive experience, and was sent home with several boxes of pre-made bottles of formula. I hope you have a similarly happy result! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/3#post-1689307 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 14:50:41 +0000 RLCeigh 1689307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Lurker-- rarely comment but I wanted to quickly share my thoughts :)<br /> My son is nearing 3 and I didn't read blogs when pregnant or know much about this debate. My midwife asked me if I was going to BF and I said sure, why not. Didn't really think much of it.<br /> Ended up having a c-section after 4 hours of pushing which I also hadn't read up on, and so I had lots of feelings of guilt about not having the perfect birth. But I was able to breastfeed.<br /> And it was pretty easy for me- phew! I also hadn't read the horror stories so I didn't know how lucky we really were.<br /> And I loved it, the bonding and it made me feel empowered. ...and I want every mom to feel that.<br /> But now I realize that that's just my experience. But you don't need to BF to feel that! You'll be feeding your baby and snuggling and it will be amazing.<br /> Mom guilt stinks- so I say, your choice is perfect! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/3#post-1689282 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 14:42:12 +0000 LovelyPlum 1689282@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runnerd: @googly-eyes: @futuremama: :heart: That's my mama's motto for everything...At least for me, it's been very good advice! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/3#post-1689176 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 13:55:33 +0000 immabeetoo 1689176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @blackbird - I find it really surprising, and mildly offensive that anyone would choose this thread to say "I think you should try". Come on now! </p> <p>My statement about bf-ing being the only easy thing about the early days wasn't implying any judgement about what I think @runnerd ought to do - more specifically responding to her initial post about not wanting to BF because it was only for " the hardest part". I was SO dreading it, and thought I'd hate it because of all the horror stories I'd read on the boards - so I try to chime in with an alternate experience when I think it's appropriate - I don't think I can edit, but if I could, I would now that I see she's elaborated that it is a multi-tiered objection to trying.</p> <p>Guilt should never, ever be the root of a parenting decision, and it bums me out to see folks saying their nursing decisions were influenced by it. (Unless that guilt means you're sharing a sweet treat with your toddler because you're a jerk for eating it where you thought he couldn't see you. :silly: ) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/3#post-1689174 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 13:54:00 +0000 futuremama 1689174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: love this and feel exactly the same way! </p> <p>Just wanted to throw in that I have several friends who never even gave breast feeding a thought, and they all have well behaved, intelligent, beautiful children. Do what is right for you. Your baby will be much happier and healthier with a happy mom regardless of how they are fed </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/3#post-1689166 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 13:47:41 +0000 googly-eyes 1689166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: Great advice!</p> <p>You don't have to try. It's ok. </p> <p>I like the idea of seeing how you feel that day but I also would hate for you to be vulnerable or overwhelmed on that day and do it just to appease people. So I guess my advice is sure, wait and see, it's possible you'll end up loving it. But trust yourself and forget the mommy judgment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/3#post-1689079 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 13:10:31 +0000 Madison43 1689079@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: I want to teach my daughter to try new things too, but I also want her to understand that she doesn't have to try/do anything simply because it's what everyone else is doing/ or is what someone/anyone/ society expects her to do. </p> <p>Threads like this definitely bum me out. Education about breastfeeding is so critically important, I get that, and support it completely, but it sucks that the pendulum has swung so far towards breastfeeding like a mom who has clearly thought hard about her options, has to worry about judgment. :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/3#post-1689036 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 12:39:46 +0000 jape14 1689036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runnerd: I'm late but I just wanted to thank you for posting this! I am having similar thoughts and am pretty conflicted about the whole thing (I'm due in August), so it was nice to see that I'm not the only one. I've also spent a lot of time reading things online, listening to podcasts, and reading scientific research that still leaves me feeling conflicted about it at best, so I'm still not sure what I'll end up doing. Anyway, just wanted to throw in some more support for you and your decision! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/3#post-1688802 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 10:59:21 +0000 mlm2934 1688802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@junebugmama: and that quote is perfect!! Lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/3#post-1688796 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 10:57:15 +0000 mlm2934 1688796@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: such good advice!!</p> <p>@T.H.O.U.: I agree that you have to be in situation to be 100% sure - I just need to be 98% sure in time being so I don't drive myself batty :)</p> <p>Thanks for all the input guys!! It had been really helpful and I hope if anyone else is feeling how I do, they will stumble across this thread when searching! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/3#post-1688771 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 10:52:02 +0000 Mrs.Someone 1688771@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The most important thing is to have both a happy baby and happy mommy. Do what you feel is right for your family :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/3#post-1688741 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 10:43:59 +0000 .twist. 1688741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do what your gut tells you. I wasn't crazy about the idea of breastfeeding. I did it because of social pressures and I don't necessarily regret it, but we had MANY difficulties. We had thrush for most of our "relationship". Mastitis. Clogged ducts. I never felt bonded like other mothers say they do, which only added to my guilt. </p> <p>Do not feel an ounce of guilt for not even trying. The point is FEED the baby, not what comes before that (breast or formula). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/3#post-1688725 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 10:40:07 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1688725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runnerd: Thats cool, again, I don't think you need anyone's permission to say its okay. But I am happy to hear you would at least keep an open mind about considering at least giving it a try. </p> <p>I think there are so many things we (parents in general) say I would never do XYZ, but when the kid comes along, you never know how you will feel about it once you are in that situation. But make a firm decision when you are actually there in the situation and can actually look at the facts of the situation (versus making a firm decision ahead of time based on "what ifs" of the situation). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/choosing-not-to-breastfeed-from-the-beginning/page/3#post-1688710 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 10:35:10 +0000 LovelyPlum 1688710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runnerd: I have not read the comments, but I will say this: I've come to realize (well, <i>coming</i> to realize) that I can't do everything. What I mean by that is, lots of people are passionate about one aspect of parenting, be it cloth diapers, breastfeeding, natural birth, immediate skin to skin, delayed screen time, etc, etc, etc. I can theoretically see value in most of them, but quite frankly, I can't do it all. The problem with an "ideal", even when it is backed up by some research, is that ideals happen in a vacuum, and my life is not a vacuum. All I can do is what is best for my family, given the time, energy, resources, and information that I have at the time.</p> <p>And quite frankly, there are lots of times that I feel like I was "supposed" to feel passionately about something that would have been good for my baby, but I just...didn't. And I spent lots of time agonizing over why I didn't care, about how maybe this meant I didn't want what was best for her, etc. My example was skin to skin/delayed cord clamping. I didn't get it right away, and in that moment, I did not really care. It don't mean that I don't love her or want what is best for her. It means I'm human and I picked my battles. And I'd encourage you to do the same :) </p>