https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 27 Apr 2026 18:39:41 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-477965 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 12:49:17 +0000 KayKay 477965@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We initially did the checks (5, 10, 15 mins), but I started getting pretty strict about 'resetting' the interval if LO stopped crying even briefly. She never fussed for more than 20 minutes at bedtime during ST, and now will sometimes fuss briefly before falling asleep.</p> <p>We still haven't night-weaned (at 8mo), although sometimes she'll do a dreamfeed and then sleep through. Usually if she starts fussing in the middle of the night, I let her go for 10-15 minutes. If it seems to be escalating, she wants to eat. If it's the same or quieting, I let her try to settle.</p> <p>I may try to night-wean after this next wonder week using progressively shorter feeding sessions. I'm definitely not up for letting her CIO if she's hungry -- she is too loud and stubborn! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-477908 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 12:36:12 +0000 purrpletulips 477908@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had a 15-20 min rule with DD. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-477820 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 12:04:16 +0000 littlek 477820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lisa1783: How old was your LO? I'm kinda nervous not to get him if he wakes during the night since he might be hungry. I guess if they fall back asleep then they are fine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-477782 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 11:54:12 +0000 edelweiss 477782@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>my friend has a toddler and twin 6-month olds, and they reached the end of their rope and hired a sleep trainer. the first night, the twins cried for 3 hours until it was time to wake up. the second night they cried for 1. after that it was minimal and now they are sleeping through the night. my friend says it was worth it, even though it was really hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-477732 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 11:39:58 +0000 lisa1783 477732@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We started the extinction method on New Years Eve and the first night he cried 30 minutes and woke up every 3 hours and cried for about 10 minutes but since then he only cries about 2 - 5 minutes and falls back asleep. It's so cute (as cute as crying to get) when he starts off crying loudly and it slowly gets softer as he falls back asleep until it sounds like he's mewing. But last night he slept from 10 pm - 6:45 am which is the longest stretch of sleep he's ever had. Yay!!!!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-477467 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 10:17:43 +0000 littlek 477467@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Last night was much better. </p> <p>Bedtime @ 8:30 - fussed 10 mins and then fell asleep<br /> Woke up @ 1:30 a.m.- night feed and he fell asleep 5 mins<br /> Woke up @ 5:30 a.m.- fed him, he fussed for 20 mins<br /> I woke him up at 8 a.m. for daycare</p> <p>I still want to break the night wake ups but I think they are partly due to him being congested and teething. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-477458 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 10:14:30 +0000 MusicaV 477458@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@prettylizy: I did unintentional CIO too!</p> <p>We tried CIO starting 6 days ago. I'm not consistent about how long my intervals are - sometimes 5 minutes, sometimes 20 minutes. I've never gone in more than three times. DS has taken as long as 40 min to fall asleep and as little as 5 min. If he wakes up in the middle of the night for a feed, he's asleep in 5 min after I put him back. If he wakes up just because, I don't go in and he's asleep in 5 min. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-476905 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 23:20:52 +0000 pastemoo 476905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom did CIO on me and my brother. My ped's answer to this question is</p> <p>"All night, if need be." OMG!</p> <p>If he doesn't go down in 15 minutes it means something is wrong, but we trained him already. If it took over an hour we did something else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-476840 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 22:47:49 +0000 mamajaja 476840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO is 8 months and we used the extinction method since LO would only get more worked up when she saw us. LO was/still is a super persistent and stubborn baby, She cried an hour the first night before falling asleep, and then woke up twice in the middle of the night and cried almost an hour each time as well. It was the toughest night ever! Luckily the crying got less and less at night and I'm a believer now! We are on day 20 of sleep training and starting to see some regression, but I think it's due to her upcoming wonder week. *sigh*</p> <p>Now naps were even harder! She cried the full hour for each nap for EIGHT DAYS straight! We are still training, but her naps have gotten exponentially better. More so in her ability to fall asleep on her own, but the length of her naps are starting to improve too. Just the sheer fact that she is able to fall asleep on her own has made all the stress, heartbreak, stress, guilt, stress, etc worth it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-476698 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 21:52:40 +0000 skibobrown 476698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We never had to go longer than 30 minutes... and honestly I wasn't willing to go much past 30 minutes anyways. We did full extinction, since we found that the "check-ins" with the Ferber method just upset DD more. She couldn't understand why we were just standing there patting her back when we could easily pick up her pacifier and put it back in her mouth. Now at 9 months she can finally replace her own paci, which make a huge difference. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-476693 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 21:49:28 +0000 prettylizy 476693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did an unintentional CIO out of sheer exhaustion, it took me so long to get my rear end out of bed by the time I got there she was back to sleep! That was around 6ish months though. Before that I couldn't let her cry more than a few minutes. Now if she is tried and really fighting I'll give her 5-10 minutes and she'll usually just fall asleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-476671 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 21:39:11 +0000 SugarplumsMom 476671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a 10 minute rule. She's usually asleep by 3 mins and by 5 mins I can usually tell if it's gonna fail because her cries would be louder. She's asleep by 7 mins tops. If not, I pick her up and wait until she shows signs of sleep again. She's not on a schedule yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-476529 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 20:32:33 +0000 HLK208 476529@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First night was around 20 minutes. Second night was 3 and the third night, she was fine.</p> <p>DS took almost an hour the first night, it killed me :-( I still regret it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-476446 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 19:38:50 +0000 matador84 476446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>10 mins. 95% of time he falls asleep before or right at 10 minute mark. Like pp, I don't pick up. I'd reswaddle, pacifier, check diaper, etc. from about week 12 on, we would do that fnd if after 3 cycles he was still up, then I would pick up and feed or burp or whatever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-476442 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 19:35:20 +0000 winniebee 476442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlek: That doesn't sound so bad! For the bedtime, does your LO go down without a bottle? Mine still has a bottle before I put him down. He gets super sleepy almost to the point of asleep but not quite. He doesn't have trouble going back to sleep after night feedings unless he is sick though. Sometimes he fusses a few mins. but that's it. I'm going to wait longer to go in tonight. He was down at 6:50 after having not napped since 2:30 at daycare. Oy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-476432 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 19:28:13 +0000 littlek 476432@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I'm leaning towards extinction since checking on LO gets him more worked up. Here is what happened yesterday:</p> <p>Bedtime- 8 pm. - he went down no issue<br /> Woke at 11 p.m. - I went in and fed him, he cried for 40 mins before falling sleep<br /> Woke at 4 a.m. - I tried to fed him, he refused, I put him in crib and he cried for 10 minutes...</p> <p>Fingers crossed for a better night!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-476427 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 19:19:19 +0000 littlek 476427@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@betsyboop: hahaha, last night DH was like DS will cry all night.. i told him that was impossible.. he ended up crying for about 40 mins before he fell asleep.. the second time he woke up he fell asleep after 10 mins of crying.. i think this is harder on DH than me.. he can't stand the crying </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-476419 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 19:14:52 +0000 betsyboop 476419@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We used Weissbluth's extinction method, and the longest LO ever cried was 35-40 minutes. Weissbluth says no baby will cry longer than 2 hours. Thankfully we didn't have to test that theory. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-476394 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 19:00:37 +0000 loveisstrange 476394@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We combined the two methods. When she was littler, we did Ferber and I would go in at 3 minutes, 5 minutes and then every 5 minutes. I would just pat her and shush. It's important not to pick them up or talk to them because it works them up.</p> <p>As she got older, she'd just get pissed if we went in so we switched to the extinction method. She has never made it longer than about 40 minutes and that it on RARE occasions.</p> <p>She doesn't even fuss normally now. She just talks to herself for a few minutes and passes out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-475349 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 12:53:32 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 475349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We usually would let her cry for about 10 min before going in and calming her down. Most times, she would calm down and go to sleep within that period. If she was still worked up, then one of us would go in there, calm her down and check her diaper. If she seemed really hungry, we would feed her, but other than that, we put her back in the crib after she was calm. We would then wait another 15 min before going back in there. </p> <p>It took some time before we figured out if she really needed us or just wanted a snuggle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-475330 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 12:47:10 +0000 HabesBabe 475330@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So much great advice! I'm on board to train LO (5 1/2 months), but the hubs or my mom will always pick her up! They can't stand to hear her cry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-475294 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 12:35:29 +0000 winniebee 475294@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlek: I should also mention that on occasion, LO will have trouble falling asleep for a nap and will cry before hand OR will wake up after 30 minutes crying. I always say I'll leave him for 15 minutes but he usually only cries for 7 minutes. I wonder if that will be true for night feedings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-475285 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 12:33:40 +0000 sorrycharlie 475285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't done CIO with LO (she's only 3 months) but had to do it with my nanny LOs, who I had all day.</p> <p>I did a 15-min thing with them, then I'd go in and replace the pacifier, give them a hug, rock them, etc depending on how old, and lay them back down. It took sooooo long the first few times (every crying 'session' did get shorter and shorter, but most of the nap was spent 'training') but eventually they got to a point where they laid right down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-475240 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 12:19:14 +0000 mamabolt 475240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlek: We do not pick up. We pat/shuush, she doesn't always stop crying all the way, but usually calms a bit. She starts up again as soon as we leave. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-475192 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 12:09:23 +0000 plantains 475192@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sotomorrow: exactly. And since the training, bedtime is something we all look forward to and is a very enjoyable experience for us all as a family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-475175 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 12:03:49 +0000 sotomorrow 475175@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@plantains: I agree. I think longer intervals are best. We wouldn't be giving the baby a chance to settle herself if we went in before 10 or so minutes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-475170 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 12:02:29 +0000 sooz 475170@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We also did the interval method and went in every 10-15 mins. It was really difficult in the beginning, but it does get easier. Hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-475137 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 11:54:17 +0000 plantains 475137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I fiound that for us, going in at 10 - 15 minute intervals was most effective. We also had to be very mentally committed to doing it in order to succeed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-475128 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 11:51:11 +0000 Smar11 475128@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We tried the Sleepeasy method with checks at 5 months. It failed horribly. The checks were working him up way too much and there was way too much crying and NO sleeping! We were a little traumatized so we waited and tried again at six months. We were prepared for a lot of crying. We did the extinction method and it worked great! The most he ever cried was the first night. Forty minutes when we put him in the crib for the night and 45 minutes after we put him back in his crib after his middle of the night feeding. By the 3rd night we were putting him in his crib without any crying. If there was, it was no longer than 10 minutes. There have been about 3 nights since then that he has woken up and cried a lot throughout the night. One of those nights was when he had his six month shots. I went in to him and nursed him then. I assumed he was in pain or just feeling off.<br /> For the most part he has become an excellent sleeper. He was sleeping swaddled in his rock n play and waking up a gazillion times a night. We were going crazy.<br /> I was initially really scared to do the extinction method because I thought he would cry all night. I was pleasantly surprised! It's been a life changer! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/cio-how-long-do-you-let-them-cry#post-475127 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 11:50:29 +0000 Mrs. Pen 475127@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've done up to an hour... then I might go in to see if there's something I can do to help him - like last night he had a poopy diaper so he wasn't going to sleep! I can also tell by his cry whether he'll go to sleep or not. Sometimes he just needs extra cuddle or playtime and then he'll go to sleep. </p>