https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 22 May 2026 12:26:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/circumcising-one-but-not-the-others#post-1008192 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 14:10:07 +0000 lovehoneybee 1008192@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinpye: Thanks, good to know! I might have worried if it hadn't started by then! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/circumcising-one-but-not-the-others#post-1008190 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 14:09:41 +0000 erinpye 1008190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FutureMrsMcK: oh good! Don't be freaked out if it happens much later- it's normal! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/circumcising-one-but-not-the-others#post-1008182 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 14:03:34 +0000 Torchwood 1008182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel strongly about not circumcising, so if I had found out what I know now after having had one, I would still never do it. I wouldn't consider it worth what *I* consider mutilating my second child just so he wouldn't feel different. But I also know that most people don't feel that strongly so I'm on the extreme end. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/circumcising-one-but-not-the-others#post-1008181 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 14:03:30 +0000 lovehoneybee 1008181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinpye: Oh no, we were told not to force it to retract at all, to start cleaning it/showing him how to clean it after it retracted on it's own, we were just told it would start to happen on it's own around 3 (but not necessarily then)! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/circumcising-one-but-not-the-others#post-1008153 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 13:56:14 +0000 erinpye 1008153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FutureMrsMcK: do not forcibly retract him at 3! Please! That info is based on old medical research and it's 100% normal for many, many boys not to retract until puberty, even after, like 19 years old. Forcibly retracting before it naturally happens can tear delicate skin and cause infection. Please research it before forcibly retracting! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/circumcising-one-but-not-the-others#post-1008125 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 13:43:10 +0000 erinpye 1008125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A lot of parents opt to circ the first time around because it's just what is done in our culture (U.S.- however that is changing drastically with only about 40% still cutting), then research and decide not to for further boys. I think it just comes down to when we know better, we do better. If my current pregnancy is a boy, I won't be circumsizing either. Not my body- a permanent, purely cosmetic surgery should not be up to my choice. Little boys also do die from the procedure every year, and I'm unwilling to take that risk. </p> <p>You only need to wash with water, and make sure NEVER to forcibly retract the foreskin and wash- it would be like forcibly giving a baby girl a douche- completely unnecessary and painful. And don't let any care providers forcibly retract when checking him out- many boys foreskins won't retract until they go through puberty, and that's normal, however even among health care providers there is old knowledge that it should happen by age 3, and must be retracted to clean. There's a wonderful, informative video on the entire topic you can google called "The Elephant in the Hospital" that dispells myths like people saying it lowers the chance of cancer and STDs, and gives just a ton of info about the whole process. I highly recommend it.</p> <p>ETA: a new study recently came out proving circumsized boys have a much stronger pain response than uncircumsized boys and girls. I know people say they don't remember the pain, that's starting to look as if it may not be true. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/circumcising-one-but-not-the-others#post-968642 Sat, 27 Jul 2013 08:09:44 +0000 LittleFox 968642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure what I would do in that scenario. As far as hygiene, no special care is needed for at least the first year. You can basically go by the mantra "only clean what is seen" at any given time. Just like you wouldn't try to fully clean a baby girl by doing anything internally during a diaper change, you don't need to do so with a baby boy. Never forcibly retract the foreskin, and don't let anyone else do it. When a baby is born, it is attached to the penis and forcibly retracting can be painful and in some cases cause damage. As he ages, it will become sort of less connected and be able to retract easily on its own. The age differs by individual, but you can clean it with water in the bath then, and teach your son to do the same.</p> <p>Here's a pretty balanced link about cleaning (if you Google "only clean what is seen" you'll get a detailed but unbalanced take on it): <a href="http://www.drgreene.com/qa-articles/cleaning-penis-intact-foreskin/" rel="nofollow">http://www.drgreene.com/qa-articles/cleaning-penis-intact-foreskin/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/circumcising-one-but-not-the-others#post-968545 Sat, 27 Jul 2013 06:34:15 +0000 lamariniere 968545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We did not circumcise DS. Though I had no experience with baby boy part cleaning beforehand, I don't really have to do anything extra. He gets a regular wipe down with each diaper change and that's about it. He's 2.5 now and we have never had an issue. FWIW, and for reasons that are still fairly murky to me, DH wasn't circumcised until he was about 10 years old. But we have no qualms about them "matching". If this second baby turns out to be a boy, we will won't circumcise him either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/circumcising-one-but-not-the-others#post-968426 Sat, 27 Jul 2013 00:14:29 +0000 tysonja 968426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally understand wanting to have your second son circumcised because your dh and LO#1 are already -- having said that, i think it might not end up being a big deal in the end if you don't -- maybe it will just be a non issue as they grow up! :)</p> <p>dh is circ'ed and we always just assumed that LO would be too, but to our surprise NOONE does it in our area (western canada) and apparantly (i was told by our OB) in our city of over a million people only ONE doctor does the procedure (for people with religious reasons to do so), and it costs 200$! </p> <p>so we opted not to do it and don't regret it :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/circumcising-one-but-not-the-others#post-968417 Fri, 26 Jul 2013 23:59:59 +0000 Kiki 968417@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My ODS is not circ and he is 7 years old. As he gets older it would just require a 3 min show and tell for you to show him how to clean it (as someone said earlier, the retracting). Of course my son also is at the age where he likes to play with his junk :/ doubt it relates but thought I would toss that out there too.</p> <p>YDS will not be circ either. Just never saw the point in it to be honest and he will be like his dad and older brother. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/circumcising-one-but-not-the-others#post-968412 Fri, 26 Jul 2013 23:46:56 +0000 ALV91711 968412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't see a problem with having it done for one son and not the other. DH is and his younger brother isn't. I let DH decide for our son and we did it, but I honestly don't know if I could do it again. As far as care if you don't get it done you don't have to do anything for a few years, much easier I think. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/circumcising-one-but-not-the-others#post-968400 Fri, 26 Jul 2013 23:24:15 +0000 MrsMccarthy 968400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I too am haunted by my sons circumcision! I know he is fine and won't remember but it's something that I wish I could undo and forget. It's the main reason I pray our next baby is a girl! My husband and MIL insist ill have to circ the next boy if we have one but I plan to fight them on it. I can't let that happen to another one of my babies knowing what I know now. No judgment to those who do this but for me ignorance was all that could have gotten me there. I now know to much and even if I wasn't in the room it would tear me up inside. My yougest are gonna have to make peace with being different if he ends up another boy as far as I am concerned. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/circumcising-one-but-not-the-others#post-968312 Fri, 26 Jul 2013 22:06:36 +0000 lovehoneybee 968312@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sweet T: I don't think it's immature at all! </p> <p>We were on the fence about circ'ing. We went back and forth about it the entire pregnancy. At first DH just assumed we'd do it, because he is, but when we thought about it we couldn't think of any good reason to do it. It's not cultural or religious for us, and at the time the Academy of Pediatrics or whatever they're called had a very neutral stance about it. I know there's a slightly higher chance of STDs? But we figured as long as we taught him how to clean it/wrap it up that would be negated. </p> <p>So for *us* it came down to circumcision being a purely cosmetic procedure. Did we care whether or not he looked like his dad? Would he care? After he was born (we were TG) we decided to opt out, and if in the future it's *that* big of a deal for him we'd pay for the surgery then (even though we know it would suck for him to do it when he's older). I have a good friend who's not cut, though, and he's never had any issues with it, health or confidence-wise, so I'm hopeful that it'll just be another part of him. </p> <p>I will admit, though, we second-guessed it a lot. Even 3+ months out we (well, mostly DH) was wishing we'd gone the other way (he doesn't now). For the most part, it's against the norm here, in our community (the nurses kept trying to pick him up to get it done, even after we told them repeatedly we weren't doing it--they just assumed all the little boys were getting circ'd) and among our family and friends, but that doesn't really bother me now (it did for a hot second, though). </p> <p>Anyway, those are my probably pointless thoughts about it, lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/circumcising-one-but-not-the-others#post-968292 Fri, 26 Jul 2013 21:56:59 +0000 Sweet T 968292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FarmWifeGina: " I don't beat myself up about it, I'm not an intactivist..." This is how I feel completely! I don't regret our decision and, while we're leaning towards not, I'm not 100% sure that we won't circ again. I do know that I'm more informed this time and that makes me feel better about whatever decision is made. I have an uncle who was born in Vietnam and is uncircumcised. I don't know anyone else personally who isn't and that definitely influenced our decision. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/circumcising-one-but-not-the-others#post-968170 Fri, 26 Jul 2013 21:07:05 +0000 Sweet T 968170@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@chopsuey119: the baby was awake in the video I watched. I think it's much easier on them if they aren't awake even though its scary to think about them being put under. I'd rather them have it done young too. It just seems like they handle it a lot better.</p> <p>DH doesn't really have an opinion either way. I think he cares a little bit more this time around because he's thinking about the boys matching and feeling different if they don't. </p> <p>@FutureMrsMcK: I know it's immature but the thought of having to pull things back for cleaning is freaking me out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/circumcising-one-but-not-the-others#post-968168 Fri, 26 Jul 2013 21:06:30 +0000 Pepper 968168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sweet T: DS isn't circ'd yet... he has a mild case of hypospadias that needs to be corrected when he's older than 6 months (they have to put him under to correct it). They're going to circ him then. I'd almost rather they don't, but DH wants it done and he's going to be out anyway, so I guess we're just going to do it. </p> <p>Anyway, to answer your question, there is no special cleaning or care needed (at least not now as a 1 month old). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/circumcising-one-but-not-the-others#post-968162 Fri, 26 Jul 2013 21:05:15 +0000 FarmWifeGina 968162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't given birth yet, but if Cricket is a boy, no, he won't be circ'd, even though his dad and big brother are. I'm a lot like you, I didn't really research and I thought I had a religious prerogative to do it, so we did. Now I feel differently and I wish we hadn't done it the first time, although I don't beat myself up about it, I'm not an intactivist, but I'm not going to do it again now that I feel this way.<br /> Coincidentally, DH is circ'd, but none of his 7 younger brothers are and as far as I know it's never been the cause of any issues between them or towards their parents. Now, I also have no idea if any of them have been circ'd on their own upon adulthood. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/circumcising-one-but-not-the-others#post-968147 Fri, 26 Jul 2013 20:59:14 +0000 lovehoneybee 968147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't have E circumcised. We haven't had to do any extra cleaning yet. Our pedi pretty much told to clean it like we would a normal penis...in the tub/wipe it down during diaper changes. She said not to force the skin to retract to clean under it, that it's not ready yet, and when he's a little bit older (maybe 3-4? Don't quote me.) it will start to fully retract on it's own. For now we just wash the outside in the tub. Once he's 3 we're supposed to start (and start teaching him) to pull it back, clean under with soap and water and then replace the foreskin. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/circumcising-one-but-not-the-others#post-968143 Fri, 26 Jul 2013 20:57:02 +0000 chopsuey 968143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sweet T: they have to put him under. :( his pediatric urologist said he'll be under like 10 minutes? maybe less.<br /> i'm still really conflicted. and the procedure is SOON!</p> <p>DH wants to have it done.. I'd rather have it done now than have DS deal with the pain and discomfort when he's older.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/circumcising-one-but-not-the-others#post-968136 Fri, 26 Jul 2013 20:53:59 +0000 Sweet T 968136@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@chopsuey119: I always thought I would circ future boys, especially since DS and DH are. I'm just not sure now. I watched an instructional video (I wanted something not biased) and could hardly even keep my eyes open.</p> <p>If you don't mind me asking, will J receive a local anesthetic or will he be put under now that he's older? (You totally don't have to answer that! I'm just curious!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/circumcising-one-but-not-the-others#post-968118 Fri, 26 Jul 2013 20:48:09 +0000 jmarionsmith 968118@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we circumcised our first son and if we have another boy we will not be circing him.</p> <p>the whole experience was super traumatic for me and i don't think i could go through with it again. also, we've some issues from the circumcision, nothing serious, that i don't want to deal with in the future.</p> <p>i told dh if he wants to debate with me about it then we'll just be one and done, that's how strongly i feel about it at this point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/circumcising-one-but-not-the-others#post-968111 Fri, 26 Jul 2013 20:45:33 +0000 chopsuey 968111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS isn't circumcised yet and his little peen doesn't require any extra cleaning right now.<br /> If I were you and DH and DS were both circumcised, I would have my DS2 circumcised as well. </p> <p>We're actually scheduled for a procedure soon.. it makes me nervous and anxious. Not 100% sure I want to have it done! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/circumcising-one-but-not-the-others#post-968103 Fri, 26 Jul 2013 20:42:05 +0000 Sweet T 968103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Has anyone made the decision to circumcise one son but not the other(s)?</p> <p>We had DS circumcised before we left the hospital. Honestly, I didn't even research circumcision. It's very popular in the south and I didn't question doing it. </p> <p>We're now expecting DS2. After researching, I don't see any reason to do it and we're leaning towards not circumcising. A small part of me is worried about DS2 feeling different because DS1 and DH are both circumcised. I also don't want DS1 to feel like he was "wronged" in any way. I know those two things are probably not going to be an issue but its still a thought I've had.</p> <p>If you didn't circumcise, is it easy to keep things clean? With DS, we had a very easy recovery and healing process. We never had any issues with care or cleaning. DH &amp; I both are concerned about the care that comes with an uncircumcised penis. We have zero experience with it. Does it require extra care outside of normal bathing? </p> <p>I don't mean for this thread to become hurtful in anyway. I don't necessarily regret our decision and I don't care if someone else chooses circumcision. My only regret is not researching the first time around regardless of the decision we made. </p>