https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 22:00:42 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1/page/2#post-2775211 Sun, 24 Sep 2017 20:45:45 +0000 bpcmarj 2775211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In case anyone is interested: Coparenting is NOT easy. There are so many moving pieces (boyfriends, girlfriends, new family structures, grandparents).</p> <p>We struggled for a very very long time figuring out what was best for our girl. I think that we have somewhat come to figure it out two years later. I still think we have a ways to go a lot of the time, but we at least now have a steady custody arrangement so there is no longer animosity about that. </p> <p>The biggest challenge, and one that I didn't realize, was the behavior discrepancy that happens. We've struggled for quite a while with the fact that her behavior is VERY different for me than it is for her Dad. But, now that I have gone through it I've been told by many how common it is for kids to have behavior issues when transitioning from house to house or to behave differently at each house. It's exhausting, but we are turning a corner (maybe because she's getting older).</p> <p>There is life after divorce. And it can certainly be a good one for all involved. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1/page/2#post-2775123 Sun, 24 Sep 2017 08:53:13 +0000 Plumeria 2775123@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Bumping this thread. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1/page/2#post-2413685 Fri, 08 Jan 2016 09:13:16 +0000 bpcmarj 2413685@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all for the kind words. Just want to do best for my girl. I am not perfect by any means, but I hope she will see someday how much I tried for her! :heart: </p> <p>@erinpye: thank you so much. I sure am trying! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1/page/2#post-2413308 Thu, 07 Jan 2016 19:16:39 +0000 wheres_c 2413308@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bpcmarj: I don't know how I missed the original post! Glad things are going smoothly! It's nice that you were all able to come together at Christmas. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1/page/2#post-2413301 Thu, 07 Jan 2016 19:12:04 +0000 Kimberlybee 2413301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bpcmarj: What a great update! So happy for you that everything is working out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2413242 Thu, 07 Jan 2016 18:25:59 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 2413242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bpcmarj: go you! So happy for you and your daughter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2413107 Thu, 07 Jan 2016 16:48:17 +0000 erinpye 2413107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bpcmarj: I just want to say, I have seen a lot of divorce, my mom alone has done it twice, as has my grandmother. I have never, ever seen it handled with such grace and class as you have demonstrated. You are one hell of a woman, and a wonderful mother to that sweet girl. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2412774 Thu, 07 Jan 2016 13:36:44 +0000 travelgirl1 2412774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bpcmarj: such a great update! I'm glad it is working out well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2412768 Thu, 07 Jan 2016 13:34:50 +0000 JenGirl 2412768@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Glad to hear things are going well. My parents divorced when I was 2 and I think they handled it really well. Because they lived an hour apart, they didn't spend much time together when I was little except big things like dance recitals. But I never minded celebrating things like my birthday twice! At the time I didn't think anything about it. But in retrospect, I greatly appreciate that they were civil to each other and never talked badly about the other in my presence. </p> <p>As an adult, my mom got cancer and I moved home to care for her since she had never remarried. My dad had remarried a wonderful woman who got along with my mom very well. I basically told my dad and stepmom that I couldn't leave my mom alone, so if they wanted me for holidays, that meant my mom as well. They discussed and agreed it was best for my mom to come so that's what we did for the last year and a half of my mom's life. I was very grateful that everyone was able to get along </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2412662 Thu, 07 Jan 2016 12:43:10 +0000 HLK208 2412662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bpcmarj: I'm so glad all is going well :heart: you're a great mom! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2412646 Thu, 07 Jan 2016 12:33:39 +0000 youboots 2412646@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bpcmarj: thanks for the update 💕 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2412638 Thu, 07 Jan 2016 12:25:31 +0000 autumnlove 2412638@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bpcmarj: you are a great mom! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2412597 Thu, 07 Jan 2016 11:54:26 +0000 Autumnmama79 2412597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bpcmarj: Happy to hear your wonderful update! Keep up the good work mama :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2412547 Thu, 07 Jan 2016 11:27:07 +0000 rachiecakes 2412547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bpcmarj: you're such a great mom! :heart: glad things are going well </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2412511 Thu, 07 Jan 2016 10:58:29 +0000 .twist. 2412511@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bpcmarj: So nice to hear your update. Sounds like you and your ex-husband are doing it all right. Happy to hear that you are happier. That's so important. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2412500 Thu, 07 Jan 2016 10:49:08 +0000 MrsF 2412500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So glad things are going well. It sounds like you and your ex are doing a great job making this as easy as possible for your daughter! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2412498 Thu, 07 Jan 2016 10:48:30 +0000 Smurfette 2412498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bpcmarj: so glad to hear that things are good! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2412497 Thu, 07 Jan 2016 10:45:04 +0000 Adira 2412497@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bpcmarj: I don't know how I missed this post originally, but I'm so happy that things are going smoothly for you and that DD is taking it so well! &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2412493 Thu, 07 Jan 2016 10:42:21 +0000 bpcmarj 2412493@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just thought I would give this a bump and a bit of an update. Things are going very well on the co-parenting front. We just recently told DD (3.5) that Mom and Dad are not actually husband and wife anymore and other than seeming worried about her Dad being alone (since she still spends the majority of time with me) she seemed OK with the explanation of us being friends..</p> <p>While most of the time that she has with us is spent apart, we did do Christmas together (DD and I both stayed at ex's house on Christmas Eve/Christmas morning) and then she went with her Dad to his families that afternoon. We also had a special outing where the three of us saw Disney on Ice. </p> <p>DD and I also met the new girlfriend (Who to DD is just Dad's "friend" for now). It went smoothly and DD and I both liked her! (ETA that they have been dating now since April-ish and intend to stay together).</p> <p>All in all, I couldn't ask for a better situation for DD. And I am VERY glad to be much happier apart :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2303214 Sun, 27 Sep 2015 07:17:34 +0000 bpcmarj 2303214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelgirl1: thank you for sharing! It sounds silly but I would love to be an example of what divorce can look like. I feel like so often it is full of rage (usually with good reason!). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2303051 Sat, 26 Sep 2015 17:10:21 +0000 travelgirl1 2303051@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bpcmarj: I'm sorry you are going through this.</p> <p>My own parents are divorced and my dad made a lot of effort to not just be a weekend dad. He drove a long way several times a week to see us after school, and phoned every day, which was really good. But the bitching my parents did about each other was terrible!</p> <p>My BIL separated from my niece's mum when she was about three and she is now 13 and so smart and lovely. They did a 50/50 split with time, and it wasn't the same days every week, so each could have weekends with and without her, and each could pick her up from school and be involved with meeting her teachers and homework etc. Don't get me wrong, the parents have had some ding dongs (I remember BIL being so pissed off when he found out she had had her ears pierced aged seven without consulting him) but it has mostly worked very well.</p> <p>Good luck :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2303010 Sat, 26 Sep 2015 15:34:02 +0000 bpcmarj 2303010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: thank you friend 💗 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2302719 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 19:08:34 +0000 regberadaisy 2302719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bpcmarj: P is such an awesome kid. You are so full of love. These two combined means she will be more than fine. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2302708 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 18:55:01 +0000 bpcmarj 2302708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all. She has adjusted SO MUCH better than I imagined she would. Hoping it stays that way. Just trying to remain a family for her as best as we can given the situation. I appreciate the love and good thoughts! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2302460 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 14:29:24 +0000 erinpye 2302460@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have a ton of advice, but I am a kid whose parents got divorced when I was young. I think just keeping it as amicable as possible and showing your daughter you're still a team and a family, is most important. And also, big hugs, mama. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2302303 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 13:17:46 +0000 sandy 2302303@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bpcmarj: :heart: big hugs to you and your beautiful girl :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2302149 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 11:53:20 +0000 autumnlove 2302149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: @bpcmarj: &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2302109 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 11:16:52 +0000 knittylady 2302109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2302040 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 10:26:14 +0000 .twist. 2302040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry you have to deal with this. </p> <p>I can only tell you my experience, which is only what I could wish for our family. As hard as we try to co-parent with my husbands ex, she makes our lives increasingly difficult and she does it at every opportunity she gets. </p> <p>What I wish we could do? I'm not asking for us all to be BFF's. I'm wishing that we could be civil to each other, to be able to put ourselves in the other persons shoes and try to understand where they are coming from. To compromise and be reasonable. To share, share moments and responsibilities. We have never once been allowed to have the boys for more than 2-4 hours on christmas day. What I wouldn't give for my husband to be able to see them wake up and open their presents right from our house. He's never gotten to experience that. </p> <p>Speaking nicely about the opposite party. My husbands ex seems to relish in telling the boys that we don't care as much about them as we do about our son. Or that they aren't allowed to love me, or other nasty things about our finances (or what she knows/makes up about our finances), our appearance, our son, etc. </p> <p>I know co-parenting is hard, I'm living in some of the worst of it. But if people are kind and compassionate and understanding, it makes everything MUCH easier. </p> <p>Good Luck OP.</p> <p>ETA: Oh, and most importantly, be able to put our children's needs and futures above our petty differences. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/co-parenting-after-divorce-1#post-2301999 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 10:08:06 +0000 BandDmommy 2301999@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bpcmarj: :heart: </p>