https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 21 Apr 2026 05:06:04 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702773 Fri, 24 Feb 2017 23:48:06 +0000 SweetiePie 2702773@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We will prepare him for it and kinda assume he will, but we agree that if he has a real plan for his life that doesn't include college that's ok too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702756 Fri, 24 Feb 2017 20:20:26 +0000 azjax 2702756@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: I agree, I wouldn't expect a high school graduate to be able to easily figure it out if they hadn't been taught earlier. We will be strongly encouraging our kids to get summer jobs once in high school, so they can learn about all of the things I mentioned. It is also our personal experience that being primarily financially responsible for our own education (ie tuition) was extremely beneficial in both the long and short term. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702526 Fri, 24 Feb 2017 12:16:13 +0000 caterw 2702526@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: Same here! I went to college and loved it, DH did not finish school. Guess who is the more financially successful? I'm a SAHM and DH provides a lovely life for us.</p> <p>DH's mom is a doctor and she "requires" college from her kids too... It caused a big rift in their relationship when he left school, but neither of his brothers are using their degrees in their professional lives (and in fact neither of their careers require a degree) so I don't see what the difference is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702500 Fri, 24 Feb 2017 11:34:59 +0000 MrsRoo 2702500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would love for my kids to have some sort of education after high school. I don't think I'll "force" then to go to college or make them feel like it is their only option.<br /> I was one who was just not sure what I wanted to do when I grew up at 18, and was forced into college. I wasted a lot of money and scholarships, changed my major a zillion times and didn't have the college experience that I would have wanted anyway. I did end up going back to college on my own dime and graduated with a 4.0 in a career that I absolutely love. My husband had a very similar experience after going to school as an althlete who had a career ending injury.<br /> I'd really like to be able to use our experiences to help guide our children into the path that's right for them. Whether that's college, trade school, or something else. I just want them to be happy, productive members of society. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702492 Fri, 24 Feb 2017 11:22:59 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2702492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Absolutely. I think that college, as an experince, is more important than the degree (hopefully) attained 😆 But if she wants to explore the world and travel first, that's fine with me - just as long as she's not doing it all alone right out of high school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702411 Fri, 24 Feb 2017 10:02:08 +0000 looch 2702411@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband comes from a country where around the 6th grade, kids are tracked. This means that you're either going to go on the college prep track, the complete high school and get a professional apprenticeship track or the vocational track. I think the system has pros and cons, you can easily find work in a professional environment without a college degree, BUT the decisions are made so early and it's difficult to change tracks once you're on. You can always go down, but you can't go up, so once you're on the trade track, you're not getting on the college track. This is how they are able to allow students to attend universities for no cost, other than room and board.</p> <p>I don't know what the future holds for my son, he sees my husband and I both going to work, we talk about the schools that we've gone to and what kind of work we did there. One of these days, I will take him to where I went to college so he can see what it looks like. At the end of the day, do I expect him to attend college? Yes. Am I mandating it? No. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702360 Fri, 24 Feb 2017 09:05:04 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2702360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@azjax: I agree, however, I dont think its fair to all of a sudden tell an 18 year old, go figure it out, especially if they are going through something as expensive as college.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702347 Fri, 24 Feb 2017 08:54:21 +0000 azjax 2702347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our focus is making sure that our adult children are self-sufficient and productive members of society. If that includes college, cool, but even then we won't be paying their way through. They'll need to work, save, budget, and look for opportunities like any other functional adult. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702338 Fri, 24 Feb 2017 08:34:56 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2702338@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: My parents had the expectation that we would go to college. They helped us get scholarships and fund our education. They were very clear though that if we chose not to go to college (or not take it seriously) we would essentially be cut off. So no, they didnt/couldn't "make us" but it was pretty clear what our only choice was. </p> <p>I also think that if we told them we wanted to do a trade school or something else educational/career oriented they would have supported that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702332 Fri, 24 Feb 2017 08:30:18 +0000 Synchronicity 2702332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think some sort of higher education is almost a necessity these days. I have a lot of family members in the trades (my husband included) and they all went to college as part of the requirements to get licenced. I guess I expect our kid(s) will have post-secondary education of some sort but I'm willing to be open minded about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702328 Fri, 24 Feb 2017 08:19:13 +0000 MrsSCB 2702328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, because for better or worse it's a necessity for so many jobs these days. That wasn't the case in generations past but it is now. Would I be able to force them to go? Of course not. But they'll grow up with it being assumed, same as I did. "When you go to college..." rather than "if." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702318 Fri, 24 Feb 2017 08:08:10 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2702318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There would have to be a compelling reason for him not to go. Even if LO wanted to join the military there are collegiate options to start his career. A compelling reason would be he's a child star and is consistently working. Or he is a child genius and has angel investors making his passion come to life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702303 Fri, 24 Feb 2017 07:33:26 +0000 Smurfette 2702303@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think in this day and age they need to go. For education but also I think it is a good life experience. You learn a lot about yourself living away from home the first time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702296 Fri, 24 Feb 2017 05:56:11 +0000 bloved 2702296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It was always the expectation that my sisters and I go (especially since both my parents dropped out to get married). 3/4 of us absolutely love school and have masters as well, and one a phD. </p> <p>But my fourth sister hates school, struggled massively, majored in something she did not really like, took 5 years and has massive debt. Plus she still works at the same job she had before graduating (but higher up). Now she knows what she wants to do, but the thought of going back is daunting and she can't really afford it. My mom always says she wishes they had not forced her to go, and gave her time to figure out what she wanted to do in life so that she could have made a better choice for herself. </p> <p>Just food for thought that it is great to encourage it if it is the right fit, but it is really not for everyone (or at least, not right away). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702286 Fri, 24 Feb 2017 03:02:35 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2702286@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lamariniere: if it were "free" that would sort of change my opinion. It would seem silly to pass it up unless there was the option to get some sort of other program or whatever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702265 Fri, 24 Feb 2017 00:12:04 +0000 lamariniere 2702265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: totally agree. </p> <p>I would be ok with them taking a gap year of some sort, but higher education is definitely an expectation, especially since my kids can go to university for "free". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702258 Thu, 23 Feb 2017 23:59:34 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2702258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hope so. We are/will save but it doesn't necessarily need to be for college. I know college certainly can be a path to career success but I don't think it's a requirement. I think it would certainly open some doors and grant a level of exposure to a lot of opportunities, but if they find a different way, that's great too. The goal is self-sufficient decent happy people. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702229 Thu, 23 Feb 2017 22:32:11 +0000 snowjewelz 2702229@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes; undergrad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702223 Thu, 23 Feb 2017 22:24:57 +0000 808love 2702223@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My college experience was definitely worthwhile and so formative in the time I spent there. It was a foundation I never received otherwise. Tolerance and respect for other perspectives, critical analysis of information and exposure to so many diverse relationships/interactions impacted me in so many ways. My cousins that didn't attend college do not have much financial stability and it just hasn't worked out for them in their relationships. I see college as a 'get to' rather than a 'have to'. I'm super excited I'm preparing for LO to 'get to' go to a place many people can only dream to go. Logically, she will be an adult making her own choice but she will always be my child and thus, my (and DH's) influence, experiences, 'wisdom', encouragement will get to play heavily in her decision. I won't fool myself into thinking there will be no distractions and she will magically just pick what is right for her future when she is 18 nor will I falsely claim some knowledge about a path of certainty. However, I know I need to be prepared to be her guide AND cheerleader. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702210 Thu, 23 Feb 2017 22:16:15 +0000 yoursilverlining 2702210@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes; college is an expectation in our family. Of course there are plenty of successful people without college degrees, but I also think the unemployment figures during the recent recession for college educated and non college educated individuals are pretty compelling. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702165 Thu, 23 Feb 2017 21:28:51 +0000 ShootingStar 2702165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, college will be expected. Can I/would I physically make them go? No. But it's not like a HS education is enough these days for most kids to move out and be totally self sufficient. I also think college is a really important time for kids to gradually practice being adults but still have a safety net of sorts. </p> <p>We've also been very affected by the experiences my SIL has had. She only finished community college and had pretty unrealistic job expectations - she wanted to be a fashion designer but she's not really cut out for that industry. She was only ever able to get minimum wage jobs and relied heavily on MIL for financial support. And on us, to a small extent. Then she got pregnant with her fiancé and had to stop working entirely while he works in his phd. She now relies on him and MIL and their relation isn't great. </p> <p>Essentially my number one goal as a parent is to not let my kids' lives turn out like SIL's. We will take a lot about education, about what kinds of jobs are out there and what skills are needed, what the industry is like, how much money they pay, and what kind of lifestyle that affords. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702154 Thu, 23 Feb 2017 21:12:23 +0000 Greentea 2702154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>College is a necessity. I am pro education for everyone regardless of career plans.</p> <p>However, in regard to a career, I hope they find what they enjoy and can support themselves doing. If they find another way to be educated without a degree... I'd be open minded. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702153 Thu, 23 Feb 2017 21:11:16 +0000 travellingbee 2702153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We expect them to, yes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702151 Thu, 23 Feb 2017 21:08:55 +0000 gingerbebe 2702151@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Statistically it's likely our boys will go to college, based on the fact that my husband and I are college educated with professional graduate degrees. So we are saving for that likelihood. If they find something they would rather do, I've got their back, but hopefully we have a good, collaborative relationship where they would be open to us helping them plan for their success in some way and at least listen to our advice. I think fostering a forward-thinking hustle factor in my kids is more important to me than a degree. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702133 Thu, 23 Feb 2017 20:46:01 +0000 sarac 2702133@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband did not go to college, and he's had a very successful computer based career. I think that college is one path - it's the usual path, and it's the easiest in a lot of ways. But there are a lot of other paths. I also can't imagine expecting your kid to go to grad school - what about the millions of jobs that don't require a graduate degree? Are those not allowable choices?</p> <p>When I think of the most successful (financially, politically, happiness-wife) people I know, college played a zero - medium part in that, and never a large one. There are just, so many ways to be successful, and so many definitions of success. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702119 Thu, 23 Feb 2017 20:32:03 +0000 Purpledaisy 2702119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: I agree.</p> <p>I hope that my kids choose to go to college but it is their choice. I do not think that college is for everyone and it does not guarantee success or happiness. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702115 Thu, 23 Feb 2017 20:30:17 +0000 ElbieKay 2702115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It was always assumed that I would go to college, and I will frame things the same way to my son. I will never say, "If you go to college...". It will always be, "When you go to college...". Pretty much all of my social circle and family is college-educated.</p> <p>There are simply too many jobs and professions that expect/require college. A lot would have to change to shift my perspective on this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702109 Thu, 23 Feb 2017 20:27:30 +0000 Coral 2702109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: Word. </p> <p>My husband and I are both teachers (with masters) but I would never dream of requiring that my children go to college. A.) They would be adults B.) I have known plenty of people who went to college with no intention of finishing and just messed around for a few years and wasted tons of money C.) There are many trade careers that don't require degrees. If my son wants to be a mechanic or refrigeration technician...cool. </p> <p>All I care about is that my children find means to support themselves and do so with integrity. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702108 Thu, 23 Feb 2017 20:27:12 +0000 Bibliolove 2702108@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>College or a trade. I think trade work is undervalued and under-emphasized, hurting those that would benefit most from it. I value education of some sort for sure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/college#post-2702099 Thu, 23 Feb 2017 20:20:50 +0000 Boogs 2702099@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: That's my thinking. We definitely talk about it with them about things we learned in school and college. As they get older, we'll keep talking about it, but want to be careful about too much pressure that would make them want to do the opposite, because grown kids do what they want lol. </p>