https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 15:28:03 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-351692 Sat, 20 Oct 2012 13:15:42 +0000 erinpye 351692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@penguin917: Yep, here is one article: <a href="http://babygooroo.com/2012/08/how-other-cultures-prevent-postpartum-depression/" rel="nofollow">http://babygooroo.com/2012/08/how-other-cultures-prevent-postpartum-depression/</a></p> <p>It was post partum peasant, not pauper, I had it wrong :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-351687 Sat, 20 Oct 2012 13:10:05 +0000 brownie 351687@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>These days all I talk about is my little one. I don't do much that doesn't revolve around him. So I don't even notice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-351674 Sat, 20 Oct 2012 12:49:02 +0000 penguin917 351674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pastemoo: she has 5 kids so I think it's been a while since she's had a lot of attention without it centering on the kids<br /> @sorriecharlie: that's a good way to put it<br /> @prettylizy: Thanks! I'm sure I'll be turning to the boards for support, especially once the baby is here.<br /> @Mrs. Blue: that's the same way I reacted to my SIL - I kinda laughed cause I had no idea what to say next.<br /> @Boogs: Thanks! That's true - people just seem to be speaking without fully thinking about how it sounds.<br /> @erinpye : do you have a link to that article? I'd love to read it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-351367 Sat, 20 Oct 2012 02:54:29 +0000 erinpye 351367@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's kind of true, but it's not entirely, and not in the negative way she's letting on--and besides, you'll be all about your baby, too! I read an article recently that talked about the "pregnant princess and the post-partum pauper." In our society, we tend to really take great care of our pregnant women, follow up with them, help them out, provide wonderful medical care, but then, after birth, which is a HUGE deal emotionally and physically, we expect them to entertain guests, be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and understand how to do all these new motherly things with a newborn, as well as maintain a level of normalcy that just isn't possible right away. I'd say, don't let her comments get you down, just make sure you have a really wonderful network of support for after the baby is there, and have plenty of people willing to bring you meals--trust me! People WILL ask you how you are and offer to help. Accept the help and rest up a lot. Don't feel obligated to entertain if you're not up to it, and again, you won't mind so much that people are focusing a lot on your LO, because you will be over the moon about the baby, too :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-351130 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 20:06:05 +0000 cvbee 351130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you prepare for the worst, you might be pleasantly surprised. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-351091 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 19:48:25 +0000 Boogs 351091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pastemoo: So true, it's so easy to forget about yourself, but try not to! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-351023 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 18:47:04 +0000 pastemoo 351023@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Boogs: This is very true. You will want to talk about your baby more than yourself.<br /> That being said... don't forget yourself. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-351000 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 18:32:04 +0000 Boogs 351000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not to scare you or anything, but it's true. On a more positive note, your world is suddenly 1,000% about your new baby so you don't even notice. :) </p> <p>Congrats on your pregnancy btw! You know, there's something about being pregnant that makes some people have verbal diarrhea. I quickly learned who to ignore. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-350991 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 18:23:45 +0000 pastemoo 350991@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@penguin917: Does she have kids? It may be a warning more than anything else--like don't lose yourself! Make sure you ask for help when you need it because people may forget to ask.</p> <p>If she has kids she may feel bitter about this--not trying to be mean to you at all!</p> <p>@HabesBabe: agreed<br /> @mrbee: this is true, too </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-350926 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 17:26:32 +0000 HabesBabe 350926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's true, but it's just the way things go. Like, your birthday isn't really important anymore (even to yourself!), the holidays are all for the kids, etc.</p> <p>It's even worse for the dads than it is for the moms. People are always asking the hubs "How's HabesBabe and C?" and never ask about him... even when they're talking to him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-350920 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 17:18:38 +0000 Mrs. Blue 350920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I realize that there may be a degree of truth to this, but I feel the same as you. Someone at my parents' church the other day told me, "You know, Mrs. Blue, that as soon as these babies are born you're going to fall off the throne, right?" I just laughed, but I was sort of miffed because I thought it was worded rudely (though I don't think that was intentional) and also because it was sort of depressing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-350843 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 16:20:14 +0000 prettylizy 350843@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Balderdash!!! People are just as worried about the new momma as they are about the new baby. Don't let that get to you, I promise there will be tons of support out there, and for sure here on the boards :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-350815 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 15:59:05 +0000 alayaya 350815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My first reaction when reading that was that she sounds very bitter...</p> <p>Is she one of those people who really needs attention? No judgement here, I love attention too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-350751 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 15:17:26 +0000 Freckles 350751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's ridiculous. When i talk to my friends they always ask, "how are you and DD doing?" and then ask how the hubster is doing. Also, i'm not offended when people ask about DD because i know they are just showing an interest in someone who's important in my life. Don't worry, you won't be mud! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-350654 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 14:29:30 +0000 Mrsbells 350654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>People do ask more about my baby than me. In fact most people ask me how the baby is first and then ask about me later if at all, but it doesnt bother me one bit, I'm happy to always talk about her and proud to share whatever new milestone we are working on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-350645 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 14:25:05 +0000 sorrycharlie 350645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely noticed that people ask more about her than myself (well, aside from close family and friends!) but that I don't mind because her well-being is a reflection of how I'm doing. I feel so proud to be able to say that she's gaining weight (I'm EBF-ing when I didn't want to in the first place), and when people say she's cute it feels great! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-350461 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:49:25 +0000 penguin917 350461@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rachiecakes - I'm so sorry you went through all of that! I can't even imagine. Hope you're feeling better and have support again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-350443 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:41:24 +0000 rachiecakes 350443@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@penguin917: I was on very strict bedrest - laying on left side, getting up for bathroom only, kept getting hospitalized, etc. - for the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy. NO ONE ever asked how I was doing/feeling, it was all "is the baby here yet?" "can't wait to see you once the baby's here!". It felt pretty awful. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.<br /> I'm a very active person, I can't sit still, always have a full schedule, etc. and bed rest was like a prison sentence. It really messed with my mind, made me depressed and lonely. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-350437 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:37:53 +0000 penguin917 350437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks, everyone!<br /> @meredithnyc - I didn't ask her. She was visiting and I think she was telling me just based on her experiences, but still! She's very opinionated.</p> <p>I'm hoping people will ask about the family! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-350422 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:30:00 +0000 Mrs. Pen 350422@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was told that A LOT before I had my LO. amazingly enough people still ask how "my family" is- grouping us together :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-350420 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:28:26 +0000 kakimochi 350420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i didn't feel that way, yes most people who came by wanted to meet the baby and ask about the baby, naturally, but friends and family always asked how my husband and I were doing, how birthing went, and brought food or snacks over for us too so we wouldn't worry about cooking. i agree with mr bee though that we are so tied into our kids and identify with them, i don't feel shafted when ppl ask about them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-350397 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:18:28 +0000 meredithNYC 350397@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@eiko2010: That's good advice. I try and do the same! Babies are cute, but they are hard work and I think it means a lot to parents when people are concerned about how they're doing/coping with everything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-350392 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:16:19 +0000 littlebug 350392@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not a mom yet, but I can say that I always ask mom how she and dad are doing. Having a baby is hard work, and changes their lives! I always make sure to check in and see how they're holding up and if there's anything I can do for them! Still kind of baby-centric, I guess. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-350391 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:15:55 +0000 mrbee 350391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What she didn't mention is that most people tend to identify with their kids... so when people ask about them, it doesn't feel so bad! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-350388 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:15:09 +0000 LAGS 350388@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well isn't she positive! </p> <p>Naturally there's going to be a lot of attention given to your little one for a period of time, and while I'm sure some could see this as Mom coming a distant second... I think a lot of Moms are so proud and smitten with their new baby it just doesn't matter or goes unnoticed.</p> <p>My LO is 5 months old now and while she still gets a lot of attention and conversation with family often steers to the topic of her, I still have the same relationships with my family and friends that I had before. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-350384 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:13:22 +0000 meredithNYC 350384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's a terrible thing to say! Did you even ask about her experience or is she one of those who just gives it unsolicited?</p> <p>For what it's worth, I did not feel that way at all. I will admit that adjusting to life with baby was way harder than I could have ever imagined, but... most everyone in my life was amazingly supportive and they tried to help/make things as easy as possible for me.</p> <p>Please don't worry too much! Even with the downsides of life with a new baby, there's honestly not much you can do to prepare since it's such a big, new, all-consuming experience, you know? That said, you will be just fine! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comment-from-sil-ill-be-mud-once-baby-comes#post-350374 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:09:58 +0000 penguin917 350374@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi everyone - this is my first post. I've lurked for a while, but really do want to try to be more active. </p> <p>My baby is due in March; this will be our first child. My sister in law is starting to scare me about how it will be with the baby.</p> <p>She told me that once the baby comes, I'll be "mud" and that no one will ask how I'm doing or how my husband is doing; they'll only care about the baby and want to see the baby.</p> <p>I think it was a rude thing to say (especially because of all these pregnancy hormones). I understand people will be excited about the baby, but she made it sound horrible like I'd cease to exist.</p> <p>Thoughts? Can those with kids let me know how the beginning with a baby was like? Thanks! </p>