https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 05 May 2026 17:43:49 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes/page/2#post-830926 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 17:01:49 +0000 Penny Lane 830926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have one "real" ex, and one ex "FWB" (both from when I was still at high school.) I'm still friends with real exes family (5 sisters, 1 brother and his mother) but I was also friends with most of his sisters before he and I started dating. His younger sister had her baby the same day I had mine so we still keep in touch fairly often. i'm not friends with him on facebook, even though i'm 99% sure he doesn't use his page at all.</p> <p>I was friends with ex-FWB on facebook while DH and I were dating, but only to keep tabs on him as he was trying to hook up with both of my sisters ...at the same time. see why he was only a hook up buddy?? lol. </p> <p>DH has no real exes, he's friends with people he's had previous crushes on etc., but i'm fine with that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes/page/2#post-830849 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 16:25:22 +0000 Raindrop 830849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I are not friends with any of our exes... on FB or otherwise either.</p> <p>--------------------------------------------------------</p> <p>@yoursilverlining "Just because a relationship didn't work out doesn't mean something is automatically a bad person or has to be banished from your life. I dated a lot of great guys; just not great for me!"</p> <p>I love that you said this and well said. :)</p> <p>I definitely think this too... except I do banish exes from my life, not because I think they are a bad person, but for my own sanity.</p> <p>For me, I just need to move on and get away from them but that's just me and I know a lot of good friends that are still friends with their exes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes/page/2#post-830537 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 14:35:26 +0000 nana87 830537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Only fb friends, but we rarely talk, like the most contact I've had w the bf I was dating before dh was him commenting on a pic that my puppy was cute, so very innocent! Neither dh nor I were in very serious relationships before we met so we only have cordial relationships w them now, like I'd say hi if I bumped into one of the street and exchange pleasantries, but not go out of my way to keep in touch </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes/page/2#post-830272 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 13:32:49 +0000 lovehoneybee 830272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, a couple of them. One was my HS sweetheart. He ended up marrying a friend of mine from HS, we went to their wedding, they came to ours, we meet up for dinner or drinks when we're in the same city. I'm better friends with his wife then him, and DH likes them both. He's good friends with another guy I casually dated (well not really dated, he was more of a bed-partner when I was drunk). He has a long-term, serious GF who we love, and the four of us get together as often as we can. </p> <p>There's only one guy I'm still a little bit in contact with that DH hates. Loathes. They met once (and the latter guy above was there too...) Ex tried to shake DH's hand (he wasn't DH at the time, we were actually about half-way through a 6 month split), and DH just looked at him and then walked away without a word. (DH and I used to work together, Ex was visiting the city and stopped in to say goodbye to me, DH heard I had a male visitor and wanted to scope it out.)</p> <p>That guy hurt me a lot, and that's a big part of it. I think they'd actually get along well if we didn't have that history. He randomly texts me about once a year, usually when he has gossip about a mutual friend or something (last time it was because he served my doppelganger at his bar).</p> <p>DH only had one serious Ex before me, I haven't met her and they don't talk, although she's friends with my BIL. She emailed him not too long before DH proposed to me, and he wrote back a gushing email about how wonderful I am, and she never wrote again. He's also still friends with someone he thought he was in love with several years ago, but never acted on it (always bad timing). I'm friends with her too, mostly on FB, but she has a little girl a few months older than DS and they stayed over with us several months ago. Her and I have already arranged a marriage between E and her DD :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes/page/2#post-830242 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 13:26:19 +0000 TheReelDeal 830242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't talk to any of my exes. When we first started dating my DH got a text from his high school ex who he seemed very fond of (my green eyed monster was raging) and I blurted out, make sure you tell her you're hanging out with your girlfriend. I felt super lame, but whatevs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes/page/2#post-830198 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 13:17:27 +0000 Dandelion 830198@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have to stay in touch with my ex husband, cause he's DS's dad, and he has visitation every other weekend. However, we do not do small talk and it's strictly DS business, because he's an arrogant SOB and I can't stand him for more than a few minutes.</p> <p>I don't know any of DH's exes, and I don't want to...he doesn't talk to any of them, and I don't talk to any ex boyfriends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes/page/2#post-830177 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 13:13:05 +0000 mrs. bird 830177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess I should answer my own question, lol. </p> <p>I only have one ex, but we were living together when DH &amp; I met. We have a ton of mutal friends, so a couple times we've run into each other, I've always been with DH and the two of them have spoken more than the ex &amp; I. I'm still close to my ex's sisters and DH is friendly with them as well. I don't have anything to say to my ex, so we don't talk and DH likes to throw things about the ex in my face during arguments, so it's best for everyone that I don't. </p> <p>DH has a few exes, one of whom believes I stole him from her &amp; when he &amp; I got together she claimed the baby she was carrying could have been his, wasn't (I guess she was too busy spreading her legs to learn basic math), they hadn't spoken in a while but he drunk texted her the day I told him I was pregnant (obviously that was a crappy day for me on sooo many levels) and that pissed me off, so I deleted her # from his phone. One ex I have no issue with them talking, she is also married, but they just choose not to. And one I strongly dislike and have voiced my discomfort with their continued communication- but that doesn't seem to matter to DH. I did tell him when they talk it makes me feel sad and distant from him &amp; therefore not want to talk to him. By distant I meant, I'm on my way to the couch, and by not wanting to speak, I meant, you'll be getting the silent treatment until you unfriend that ho. It worked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes/page/2#post-830046 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:50:29 +0000 ValentineMommy 830046@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are both FB friends with a few exs, but don't talk.</p> <p>I have one ex whom I remained good friends with. We still hang out, etc. He was even at our wedding. He and DH have become friends as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes#post-829946 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:32:35 +0000 wheres_c 829946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are still friendly with a few exes. I had one bad breakup and SO had one bad breakup so we don't talk to those but we do talk to the others.</p> <p>Like rahlyrah we are honest and open and trust each other but if we were seriously bothered we would probably stop out of respect. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes#post-829939 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:31:22 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 829939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No....I wouldn't say friends or anything.<br /> One guy does text me now and again for holidays and birthdays. He is married with kids and so am I. dh knows..and it's just such a formal relationship at this point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes#post-829933 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:30:31 +0000 Ra 829933@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. bird: I agree, completely. If there was inappropriate behavior, than both of us would cut off communication out of respect for the other person.</p> <p>What I meant, and probably did not explain correctly, is that I would never tell my husband he couldn't be friends with someone for the simple fact that he used to date her. He is the same way. Most of our exes are legitimately good people. Our relationships just happened to fizzle out. We've never had nasty breakups so we are friendly with most people we've dated and none of our exes have ever acted in an inappropriate manner. We just don't believe in ending friendships from before our relationship just because it was romantic at some point.</p> <p>Does that make sense? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes#post-829926 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:29:19 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 829926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't talk to any of my exes but I am friends with DH's ex GF. She's awesome, LOL!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes#post-829911 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:26:17 +0000 mrs. bird 829911@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rahlyrah: i don't like to think of it as 'allowing' or not, but if someone who was formerly in a relationship with an ex and was now married, if the ex was flirtatious still in a very obvious way and was extremely rude to the current spouse and this made new spouse uncomfortable, i'd like to think communication would stop just out of respect to new spouse, without needing to be forbidden. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes#post-829895 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:22:48 +0000 Mrs.Someone 829895@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I used to exchange yearly Happy Birthday emails with one of my exes, but that stopped in the last few years. I'm guessing he found out I got married and stopped initiating it (I often forgot).</p> <p>Another ex and I remained friends for about 6mo after we broke up (it was a silly relationship anyway), until I found out he started dating his next gf before we broke up and I confronted them about it (this was in college, and long distance). </p> <p>DH is FB friends with his ex. She trashed him big time after the breakup, but he is pretty forgiving. They don't really talk, just the occasional email. I'm not thrilled, but I don't feel right to tell him not to. She is far away and I trust him completely. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes#post-829851 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:12:31 +0000 Ra 829851@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are still acquaintances with a few of our exes. Neither of us have ever had a traumatic breakup and our relationships ended because we grew apart. So, neither of us have hard feelings towards our exes. In fact, DH talks to one of my exes more than I do!</p> <p>We are open and honest with each other regarding communication. We trust each other whole-heartedly and don't believe in "allowing" or "disallowing" friends. That being said, if one of us was seriously bothered I think we would stop talking to that person out of respect for each other. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes#post-829822 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:08:17 +0000 chopsuey 829822@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't talk to any exes and neither does DH. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes#post-829809 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:06:23 +0000 illumina 829809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm FB friends with a couple of mine and we speak on there maybe once or twice a year? Usually it's when I have a specific question that I know they will be able to help me out with, or they congratulated me when I got engaged and married and vice versa. </p> <p>I know DH is FB friends with his ex, but I'm not sure whether they speak or not. It wouldn't bother me either way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes#post-829249 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 10:11:45 +0000 Smurfette 829249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't talk to any of my ex's. We occassionaly see a guy a went on a couple dates with. He is friends with my friend's husband. But DH doesn't know we slept together once and then a year later went on a couple dates. I figure past is the past. I don't ask about girls when I meet him from high school or college, if they dated or anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes#post-829240 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 10:10:05 +0000 ShootingStar 829240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH is friends with his for the most part. One came to our wedding, and I really like her. It helped that she has a very serious boyfriend and lives in China, lol. Though her bf and DH were oddly similar, haha.</p> <p>I am friendly-ish with one of mine. We're in the same group of friends so I can't avoid him completely. I did cut him out of much of my life because we had a very bad breakup and we kept trying to be friends, which didn't work. He wanted to have me there as the best friend to him I'd been for years, while he dated someone who was acceptable to his mother (which, as a white person dating and Indian guy, I was not). So now we see each other and we're nice to each other, but honestly he creeps me out a little because I think he married her because he felt like he had no other choice. He never seems cheerful any more and is always staring at me and looking at me when he laughs, like he wants to share the joke with me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes#post-829151 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 09:50:29 +0000 MrsH 829151@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Neither of us talk to exes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes#post-829144 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 09:49:22 +0000 yoursilverlining 829144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're both FB friends with exes. Just because a relationship didn't work out doesn't mean something is automatically a bad person or has to be banished from your life. I dated a lot of great guys; just not great for me! </p> <p>My husband and his ex-wife are in similar fields and so they see each other at conferences a couple times a year and email each other to bounce work ideas back and forth, discuss projects, etc. Sometimes they grab a drink at a conference (usually as part of a larger group); doesn't bother me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes#post-829058 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 09:26:05 +0000 bpcmarj 829058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are both in communication with several of our ex's. But, we started dating at 18 and 19, so we are generally talking about high school boyfriend and girlfriend's. There are a couple people that we don't want each other in contact with, and we respect each other's wishes on that.</p> <p>We are actually going to have dinner next week with my ex-bf from HS and part of college and his wife, and also DH's ex-gf from HS and her husband! We went to both of their weddings! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes#post-829041 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 09:21:29 +0000 78h2o 829041@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, I am apparently not the norm, but I still communicate with several exes. I didn't meet DH until I was 28 and I'd had quite a few relationships before then. </p> <p>I am still pretty good friends with my very first boyfriend. We met when I was 14, dated in high school and for awhile after he went to college (he was 2 years older), then stayed good friends after that. I attended his wedding, we exchange Christmas cards, email now and then, and visit on occasion (we now live a couple hrs away). (Also, we never slept together if that makes any difference).</p> <p>In graduate school, I dated someone for 3 years. We are still friends but don't really communicate much outside of FB wall posts. I do feel though that if I ever needed anything (e.g., legal advice - he's a lawyer, etc.), he would help. He is also married with kids.</p> <p>Beyond that I am FB friends with at least 10 other exes that I dated from 3 mo-2.5 years. We might "like" each others photos or say "Happy Birthday", but that's about it. Not really any private communication. Most (if not all) are married. </p> <p>My husband knows I talk to a couple of my exes and have others as FB friends... it doesn't bother him at all. He definitely trusts me. I would cut off contact with all of them if he really had an issue, but it would make me kind of sad since my high school boyfriend has been a friend for the last 20+ years. </p> <p>My DH doesn't communicate with any of his exes, but it wouldn't bother me if he did as long as he was open about it and it wasn't too frequent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes#post-829040 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 09:21:07 +0000 skibobrown 829040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're very open about our communication with exes. I'm still friends with one of mine -- he even came to our wedding. DH doesn't keep in contact with any of his. I think if either of us had a reason to contact an ex, we would discuss it with each other first. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes#post-829039 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 09:20:48 +0000 lawbee11 829039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No communication between me &amp; any of my exes (not Facebook friends with any of them either). DH communicates with his ex-wife, but they have kids together so he sorta has to :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes#post-829017 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 09:11:56 +0000 Alivoo01 829017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No communication exists with me or the hubby's exes. We talk about them when they're brought up, but we don't talk to them directly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes#post-829000 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 09:08:46 +0000 BlueWolverine 829000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Slight contact with one of my exes. My best friend from law school married my ex's friend. We all go to Mardi Gras every year (ex and friend are from New Orleans), so I always see the ex's parents and sometimes the ex. Not a big deal at all.</p> <p>Oh, and my ex from ages 19-23 subsequently hooked up with my step sister and entered an incredibly dysfunctional relationship. So, I've had random contact with him over the years (most recently when step-sister went to jail for prescription drug fraud AGAIN). Yeah, things are messed up on that side of the family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes#post-828998 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 09:07:56 +0000 SugarplumsMom 828998@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only "ex" I'm FB friends with was my first kiddie boyfriend back in Jr. High. I think I asked another friend to break-up with him for me. Lol, so nothing serious at all! He msged me once but we don't keep in touch. </p> <p>As for any of my more serious relationships, we don't talk/contact each other. Every once in a blue moon an old college fling contacts me but it's just brief life updates. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes#post-828974 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 09:01:57 +0000 Bao 828974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I are both FB friends with a few exes. I do not contact my exes and they do not contact me. DH's ex just contacted him the other day though and it bothered me so he didn't reply back to her, because he knew it upset me. I guess it was the fact that it was via private message and not on his "wall". He will occasionally run into an ex where he works, but that's unavoidable! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/communication-with-exes#post-828935 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 08:51:52 +0000 kjpugs 828935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh and I had a guy who I used to "hook up" with (in NJ growing up that means make out!!!) and when I was dating DH he and I would gchat sometimes. When I mentioned to DH he was upset- and he was right- it was obvious this guy was still flirting. I didn't necessarily mind the attention which is why I didn't shut it down! When DH said it bothered him I stopped the chatting and never looked back- it didn't bother me at all. I can understand how that can be touchy if your partner is still communicating with an ex, especially if they're flirty or still single! </p>