https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 26 Jun 2026 18:06:59 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comparisons-to-other-kids#post-2535467 Wed, 27 Apr 2016 21:16:21 +0000 Astro Bee 2535467@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: bahaha! Love the reference. I hope Sarah doesn't turn into a mean girl! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comparisons-to-other-kids#post-2535180 Wed, 27 Apr 2016 14:16:18 +0000 Truth Bombs 2535180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think comparison necessarily always means competition. My LO will often ask to do/have things like her friends simply because they all love each other and like to be the same. "Mama, I'm wearing my pink sandals today, Sarah has pink sandals too, I hope she's wearing them today too so we match!!" (I do my best not to respond 'On Wednesdays we wear pink' because the hilarious reference would be lost on my toddler :silly: )</p> <p>Anyway, all this to say, I don't think it's always a bad thing or something that needs to be 'corrected' </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comparisons-to-other-kids#post-2535175 Wed, 27 Apr 2016 14:08:40 +0000 psw27 2535175@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaCate: That's a really great idea! Its so important to me to counteract all the appearance based comments made - especially towards little girls. I made a point to tell some little girls at the playground how strong they were the other day when they were pushing the merry go round and they were super excited about it. (literally saying "yeah look at my muscles! I'm strong!") </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comparisons-to-other-kids#post-2535145 Wed, 27 Apr 2016 13:30:00 +0000 MamaCate 2535145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sunny: we totally have the same issue! I try to shift to reasons that we like our friends/why they like us that focus on internal qualities. So, "Sarah's dress might be longer, but you love her not because of her long dress but because of how kind she is. Remember how she shared her cupcake when you dropped yours? That was a kind thing. You are both kind to each other and that makes you good friends." </p> <p>I am trying to counteract the emphasis on appearance or what we have as valuable vs the way we are and how we treat each other. May be a little bit of a high bar at this age but it is something! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comparisons-to-other-kids#post-2535138 Wed, 27 Apr 2016 13:21:30 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2535138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a "Sarah" in our school too. </p> <p>We talk about things like, yes, Sarah may have a bigger Elsa Castle, but do you think she has those cool blocks that you have? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comparisons-to-other-kids#post-2535135 Wed, 27 Apr 2016 13:20:11 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2535135@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmm. Can you ask her why it is the important for her to compare herself to her friends, or why she think Sarah is so much better than she is? I typically have the best luck when I push into the issues instead of away from it. For example we just moved and my son is missing the old place but instead of talking up the new place I try to talk about the old place and how great it was and how it is normal to miss it. After a few minutes he moves on to talking about how he really likes this new house better :) my fear would be that if you remind her of all the ways she really is awesome she will still think it is a competition. </p> <p>Also maybe some gentle boundary setting plus allowing small choices like OK I understand you want a long dress. We don't need a new dress right now. But when we need a new one of you can help pick it out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/comparisons-to-other-kids#post-2535072 Wed, 27 Apr 2016 12:38:29 +0000 sunny 2535072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter has a friend "Sarah" at school that she is constantly comparing herself against and trying to "best" this friend. </p> <p>"Sarah has a pretty dress, so I want a pretty dress"</p> <p>"I told Sarah that my hair is longer than hers" (longer implies prettier in my daughter's head).</p> <p>"Sarah told me my dress is not long." (Cue crying and asking for a longer dress).</p> <p>How do I deal with this?!? I told her that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Honestly it seems like Sarah is her frenemy and my daughter would be better off not talking to her! </p>