https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 12:17:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/consequences#post-2690138 Wed, 01 Feb 2017 06:24:21 +0000 farawayyama 2690138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I teach in a logical consequences/no punishment school and try to apply the same strategies with DD. The biggest I think we implement is 'you break it, you fix it'. For example, if DD (2) draws on the window, she has to clean it up. If she throws a toy, she can't play with that toy (for 10 minutes or so at her age).</p> <p>Eta: we don't do timeouts at the moment because they don't link directly to the undesirable behaviour. We also talk a lot about behaviour and I redirect instead of giving consequences wherever possible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/consequences#post-2689963 Tue, 31 Jan 2017 16:52:05 +0000 littlejoy 2689963@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Munchkin: I listened to No Bad Kids (by Janet Lansbury) on Audiobook. There is an actual book, but I enjoyed listening so I could hear the nuances of respectful communication. </p> <p>Also, there's another book we're reading right now called "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen ..." <a href="https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/1451663889" rel="nofollow">https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/1451663889</a> For this one, I like the actual book, because there are so many illustrations and awesome real life examples that compare our scripts in the same situation. It's awesome!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/consequences#post-2689962 Tue, 31 Jan 2017 16:49:35 +0000 Munchkin 2689962@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: I love this. And I have a really hard time remembering the "script". So it hasn't become a natural part of my interaction w LO (almost 4). Tips? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/consequences#post-2686535 Wed, 25 Jan 2017 14:40:40 +0000 Boogs 2686535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For the little just time out for now. </p> <p>For the oldest screen time usually hurts him the most. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/consequences#post-2686514 Wed, 25 Jan 2017 14:21:46 +0000 yoursilverlining 2686514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I try to make consequences pretty immediate and natural, so that LO gets it and can learn from it, rather than just doling out punishment later on. </p> <p>I do firmly also believe that appropriate (and even just normal/consistent) behavior like always listening and not acting out in different settings is absolutely learned through practice. Appropriate behavior for the setting and overstimulation/overexcitement issues are not just for infants and learning to adjust to new/different things is learned behavior. </p> <p>So, I also temper my consequence for LO’s “naughty” behavior to what she did and with that in mind. I can guarantee that my LO will not listen as well to me on days when she’s/we’ve been inside all day than say on weekends where we are out and about all day long or in the evenings following school days where she's been outside playing, done some structured activities etc as well as free play. My consequences in those cases are different. My consequences are also different if I know she's melting down/acting out because she's tired/sick/whatever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/consequences#post-2686488 Wed, 25 Jan 2017 14:01:26 +0000 SweetiePie 2686488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>2y4m and right now I try to have immediate consequences. I have no idea if that's right or wrong but I think it has to be something he immediately "misses" and understands why. I tend to do experiences over items because that's what seems to work for him. </p> <p>Probably the most common thing is bedtime books. If he's refusing to get in the bath or is being a little turd when I try to dress him, I give one warning including the consequence and if he doesn't comply that's it. I dress him and give a hug and just put him in his crib. That's only actually happened once though - so I guess it was effective! When i threaten it it works now. </p> <p>I also like to tell him what we're going to be doing each day in increments. So when he goes down for nap I'll say "when nap is over we'll go to the store and then the park". If he misbehaves ar the store, let's say, I take away the park. But again, usually the threat is enough to correct the behavior. Maybe it's his age. </p> <p>I also have no qualms leaving somewhere if he's misbehaving. I don't care how much I want to be there or who I'm there with. If he isn't listening I give a warning and if he doesn't listen I pick him up and we go. </p> <p>I reserve timeout for when he does something exceptionally bad, which has only happened 3 times ever. Purposely throwing a heavy toy at me, for example. Even after warning. That was dangerous and more than normal toddler shenanigans so he went right to timeout. Or if he ever hit me or a hypothetical future sibling. Man is timeout effective! I didn't believe it till the first time I did it and he totally understood why he was there and said sorry and wasn't upset with me - he just wanted to hug and tell me he was sorry at the end. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/consequences#post-2686258 Wed, 25 Jan 2017 09:52:10 +0000 pwnstar 2686258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: The consequence(s) need to be close enough in time to the undesired behavior so that your LO understands that losing the privilege/treat is a consequence of her behavior (as opposed to a random punishment). </p> <p>@Smurfette: We do the same. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/consequences#post-2686223 Wed, 25 Jan 2017 09:18:21 +0000 Smurfette 2686223@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If she throws a fit/doesn't listen before bed we take away a story( she gets two every night). I hate doing that, but she has learned the lesson better cause it is something right away she loses. Otherwise it is screen time </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/consequences#post-2686211 Wed, 25 Jan 2017 09:03:39 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2686211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yellowbird: I actually took away bedtime stories last night and I was upset about it the rest of the night. He was being unreasonable for bedtime and reading together is something we both look forward to so I was hoping the warning would get him under control. He is so strong willed, I'm finding I need to be very strict with him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/consequences#post-2686139 Wed, 25 Jan 2017 05:21:40 +0000 Munchkin 2686139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Following. Le sigh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/consequences#post-2686109 Tue, 24 Jan 2017 22:57:02 +0000 DesertDreams88 2686109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have a toddler but my friend does and she tries to figure out ways to have her toddler "make it right." For example, her 3.5 year old daughter colored with crayons on my wall (I wasnt bothered) so the mom made her use her piggy bank money to go to the store and buy a magic eraser, and then she came over and cleaned it, and then verbally apologized. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/consequences#post-2686086 Tue, 24 Jan 2017 21:53:42 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2686086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We remove screen time, do time outs or I've removed her privilege to play a game with me after her sister goes to bed. I'm not actually a fan of any of them but sometimes I just don't know what else to do </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/consequences#post-2686079 Tue, 24 Jan 2017 21:45:41 +0000 JennyD 2686079@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Consequences have never really worked for DD. She responds much better to being told how she ought to behave. She's very sensitive to wanting to be good well behaved. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/consequences#post-2686078 Tue, 24 Jan 2017 21:31:52 +0000 LemonJack 2686078@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So far we've mostly just used time outs (DD is 2.5). She hates having to sit down for two minutes and it's pretty effective with her. We haven't gotten to the point where she's lost a privilege (like a treat or screen time) because at this point the time outs seem to be enough. I'm sure that will change as she gets older. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/consequences#post-2686077 Tue, 24 Jan 2017 21:31:22 +0000 yellowbird 2686077@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>She usually end up losing a treat or screen time. It's usually around bedtime she starts getting cranky and naughty, and we have taken away a story before but then I end up feeling bad.</p> <p>One time she did something extra naughty and lost TV for an entire week but I can't remember what it was now, haha! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/consequences#post-2686076 Tue, 24 Jan 2017 21:23:19 +0000 matador84 2686076@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Depends on situation.<br /> I got a note from DS's teacher today about his behavior today, which is very rare, so I took away a treat we were going to have after school because he had been a very good helper around the house lately.<br /> He whacked his sister the other day (not hard but enough where I needed to make a point) and he had to stand in the corner. He hated it and it was effective. Other than that we just use natural consequences with the kids/redirection/occasional time out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/consequences#post-2686058 Tue, 24 Jan 2017 20:26:39 +0000 littlejoy 2686058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We do natural consequences. </p> <p>In your examples, if LO was acting out at the library, I'd tell her: "I see you're having a hard time (whatever she wasn't doing). We can try (what you want them to do) one more time. If you can't handle it, we'll have to leave without finishing checking out our books." -- and I would follow through. </p> <p>The car situation ... I'm not really sure what I'd do here. Likely just something like, "Wow. I bet that didn't feel very good to your sister when you said (whatever she said). Can you check in?" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/consequences#post-2686055 Tue, 24 Jan 2017 20:22:01 +0000 Bao 2686055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@fancyfunction: @MOMTOLITTLEB: I think taking away screen time is an excellent consequence! Definitely using that one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/consequences#post-2686025 Tue, 24 Jan 2017 19:10:47 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2686025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our LO is 3 and understands consequences pretty well. We've tried taking away a toy with mixed results. We take away tv, either for the rest of the night or for a full day. That's a big consequence. A few days ago, he intentionally spilled his juice on the rug during a tantrum so we said no more juice the rest of the night, so it was related to the bad behavior that caused it. We're just starting to get serious about consequences as his behavior has been really impossible lately. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/consequences#post-2686016 Tue, 24 Jan 2017 18:48:32 +0000 Greentea 2686016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just time outs right now, she is 3. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/consequences#post-2686012 Tue, 24 Jan 2017 18:36:55 +0000 fancyfunction 2686012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's usually what I do. If she had been promised a treat I give a warning and then it gets taken away. Same thing with watching a show. We try not to take away things like books/reading </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/consequences#post-2686002 Tue, 24 Jan 2017 18:09:56 +0000 Bao 2686002@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What are some examples of consequences you give your LO when they act out/don't listen? How old are they? Working on this right now, trying to figure out what is age appropriate. </p> <p>For example tonight LO was naughty at the library. Then in the car she was rude to her sister so we took away her opportunity to eat popcorn (a bucket we get filled that is a special treat). I'm just trying to figure out what's fair. </p>