https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 11 May 2026 10:46:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2282552 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 07:39:30 +0000 Rubies 2282552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I sleep-trained via CIO and it was my life saver FOR SURE. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2282539 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 07:24:10 +0000 catomd00 2282539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@macintosh: you're not a terrible mom! Sleep issues are so tricky. I know you're concerned about him falling asleep on his own, but 4 months is really young to be able to do that. Around 10 weeks I started drowsy but awake, but would pick DD up the second she began to cry and nursed/rocked her to sleep. Gradually the length of time she would try to fall asleep alone before crying lengthened, but it wasn't until around 7-8 months that I could lay her down without tears and she would put herself to sleep consistently. Even now at 18 months she doesn't do it every night (thanks separation anxiety!) the thing about baby and toddler sleep is that it's always changing. Even if you sleep train and it's successful, chances are you will have to do it again at some point due to illness or teething or developmental milestones throwing a wrench in it. It's not necessarily a magic bullet. What helped me most is learning about infant sleep and why they do what they do, so I had realistic expectations. It still sucks to be sleep deprived buy I felt better knowing it was normal and would pass. I know you have a unique situation, but if there's any way to have someone help you a little during the day so you can get some sleep it would go a long way! Hang in there, it will get better eventually and then you'll soon be annoyed that you're having to drag your cranky kid out of bed in the morning! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2282514 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 06:40:30 +0000 charleysmom 2282514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The 4 month sleep regression hit us hard as well- it coincided with daylight savings. So between holding her for every nap, having to rock and hold her for at least an hour before putting in crib for the night, and 4 am wake-ups, I was done. I tried CIO but found that I wasn't ready. I waited until 6 months when my husband was on vacation so I had extra support. She cried hard for 1 nap but that was it- the difference was amazing. We followed the Sleep Sense program with checks. Good luck, whatever you decide to do. It does get better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2282462 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 03:08:03 +0000 lemondrop 2282462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:heart: :goodluck: :heart: :goodluck: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2282451 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 02:15:17 +0000 hellocupcake 2282451@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree on having someone come over so you can nap. Maybe not at night, since I know I wouldn't be able to let someone else lose sleep for me, but have a close friend or family member come over during the day and you can take a nap while they get time with baby. A nap seriously made all the difference for me sometimes. I also co-slept which might be an option if you feel comfortable. Survival mode is real. Good luck. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2282431 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 00:14:48 +0000 akcoffeebean 2282431@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@macintosh: hang in there. Tonight, this week, it feels like forever but it will eventually pass. Keep doing what works for your family and what you need to do to survive. </p> <p>Do you have any family or friends that can hep for a night or two so you can sleep, even if baby doesn't? They can offer a bottle or bring him to nurse and then head back to another room so you can rest? Sometimes one good stretch of sleep can go a long way towards enduring anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2282425 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 23:45:19 +0000 macintosh 2282425@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Peasinapod: oh my, you have the patience of a saint! Part of my problem is that I don't have the flexibility in our family routine to hold DS that long :bummed: </p> <p>@yellowbird: thank you :happy: </p> <p>All of LO's naps today took place in the Ergo. As soon as I tried to move him, he woke up. Luckily I was able to sit and rock in my Poang chair and get some work done - he napped for 2 hours straight this way! I finally got him to go down for the night in the Ergo and by some miracle I was able to transfer to the swing, where he's currently sleeping. It's about this time of night that he ends up in our bed, just because it's the only way I'll get to sleep. He used to stay in his crib til 2 or 3 when he woke to nurse. I don't mind cosleeping, but he also needs to be able to fall asleep on his own. I guess I'll revisit that in a few months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2282394 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 22:16:01 +0000 yellowbird 2282394@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@macintosh: oh I've been there with dd! I felt so terrible that I even attempted cio but I was just at my wits end. We tried around 5 months and it was an epic failure. We tried again when she was 11 months (not sure why we waited so long) and it worked like a charm with no red face screaming. </p> <p>You are NOT a terrible mom. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2282373 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 21:54:38 +0000 Peasinapod 2282373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@macintosh: I wrote almost this exact post at 4 months. I thought my new life was no sleep. Tried CIO for one night and it just did not work ( left her for a little over an hour). </p> <p>In the end I decided I would make bedtime 7pm- nursed her to sleep and held her until 10 or 11pm and then was able to put her down. This lasted until about 10 months and then I could put her down at 9pm and now at 11 months I can put her down after less than an hour.</p> <p>I know this solution won't work for all, but there are alternatives if you can't stand to do cio. Also- is your lo still swaddled? Sleep improved so much once she was no longer swaddled and could roll around / get comfy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2282358 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 21:40:30 +0000 macintosh 2282358@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, I have completely chickened out. I did a nice bedtime routine, rocked til he was drowsy, then laid him in his crib. He cried immediately, because apparently I'm not allowed to leave him alone for a second now :bummed: </p> <p>I did checks at 5, 10, and 15 minutes. After 30 minutes he was screaming as loud as ever, red faced and shaking. He had thrown up on himself. I failed completely and now I feel like a terrible mom. Not only can I not get him to sleep, but I left him to cry all alone. I'm at a loss :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2282084 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 18:36:34 +0000 Madison43 2282084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We never did CIO but sleep at months was BRUTAL. Do what's right for your family, but if you are not comfortable with CIO right now, you can take some solace in knowing that this period sucks for most babies and waiting it out could make a world of difference. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2282077 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 18:24:35 +0000 sapphire 2282077@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For our LI, the decision to let her cry a little more at bedtime and naps was game changing. She was starting to cry even before we put her down and for naps as soon as she hit the crib. She's 5.5 months and recently has some separation anxiety coming up, so I think training her earlier would have actually been better but I thought she was too young. At the time. With that said, she only really cried hard 2-3 times. We did Ferber with checks although we did t do increasing intervals from day to day because she never cried for long after the first day or two. She still fusses her way to sleep but it's much shorter, fairly predictable, and she sleeps 11-12 hours at night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2281958 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 16:17:47 +0000 mrbee 2281958@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>&lt;&lt; Proponents of sleep training don't even recommend it until 6 months!! &gt;&gt;</p> <p>@catomd00: I think Ferber does recommend waiting until 6 months - but that may be because according to the Bed Timing book, 5.5 to 7.5 months is considered an ideal time to sleep train.<br /> <a href="http://www.hellobee.com/2012/03/23/when-to-sleep-train/" rel="nofollow">http://www.hellobee.com/2012/03/23/when-to-sleep-train/</a></p> <p>In our case though, we sleep trained at 4 1/2 months and it went great! I think this is an area where the experts don't all agree. The husband and wife developmental therapists that co-wrote the Bed Timing book said that 2.5 to 4 months were a good time to sleep train! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2281930 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 16:00:51 +0000 juli7 2281930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We did CIO with checks right at 4 months with our pediatrician's blessing, and it was the best thing we ever did for our daughter's sleep. Prior to that, she would only be rocked to sleep, and sometimes it took a longggggg time. It took two nights of crying, and yes, it was awful, but on the third night she went to bed without a peep! It was absolutely, 100% worth it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2281889 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 15:32:34 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2281889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catomd00: agreed. Way too young. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2281880 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 15:28:02 +0000 catomd00 2281880@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: this is not a strictly CIO thread. It's a "considering CIO" thread, therefore one can reasonably assume that alternatives are welcome, especially considering the OP didn't feel very good about the crying that she explained took place last night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2281856 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 15:16:35 +0000 catomd00 2281856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Trailmix: how is telling the OP there is a common regression at 4 months that will pass NOT helpful?!?! Are you kidding me?! Proponents of sleep training don't even recommend it until 6 months!! Had I not stated I wasn't a fan of it, no one would have thought otherwise of me saying that. I was just being upfront so she could take my "advice" as she wished. I don't really care what anyone else does with their kid so no I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad about their decisions. If you're comfortable with the decisions you make for your kid, great and you shouldn't have a issue with someone who doesn't do or feel the same way. My opinion that 4 months is too young is my opinion and not a judgement. They're very different things. </p> <p>And lastly, the OP said she is considering CIO, not that she is 100% percent on board with it, so to me that means offering alternatives to consider as well is completely appropriate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2281852 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 15:14:30 +0000 jape14 2281852@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Same as @SweetiePie: - we started Ferber at 4 months with encouragement from our ped. It worked beautifully and he's been able to go down awake ever since then. We only trained for falling asleep, not for night wakings, but it was still magical and life-changing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2281834 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 14:58:59 +0000 Foodnerd81 2281834@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We did CIO around this age. Dh and I were just losing our minds and we figured she's crying even with us holding her, so why not let her cry in the crib and figure it out? It felt way too young but I couldn't see an alternative. </p> <p>It worked pretty well for falling asleep at night, less so for wake ups- by our main issue was the falling asleep and I was mostly ok with the night wake ups. Waited a couple weeks for naps, even though that often meant me holding her for the whole nap, just so I knew she wasn't massively overtired by nighttime. </p> <p>I will also say 3.5 months was her hardest age yet, and she just turned two. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2281817 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 14:51:01 +0000 travellingbee 2281817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just want to say that it never worked well for our son. We finally got fed up with the crap sleep and let him CIO around 9/10 months and it was horrible. He is completely and utterly stubborn and while it did eventually help, I never want to do it again. Unfortunately, he only slept well after sleep training for a few months and then he got sick and it all went to shit. After that, we trained him using a modified method more like the sleep lady shuffle and that worked for a while until he started getting molars, then it all went to shit again. And the pattern continues. Some kids are just crappy sleepers. :( I don't mean to be discouraging. It's worth trying. I'm just putting it out there that it isn't a magical fix for everyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2281814 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 14:46:43 +0000 looch 2281814@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It took us three tries before we were successful. Part of my issue was that I tried to separate naps and night sleep and it didn't work. We had to treat naps and days the same. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2281795 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 14:36:18 +0000 SweetiePie 2281795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, but my pediatrician encouraged us to let our son CIO at his 4 month appt. So while I know some parenting styles don't support it, my pediatrician said it was OK so I felt good knowing that from a medical POV it was totally fine.<br /> We did it and it was magical. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2281754 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 14:02:53 +0000 catlady 2281754@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry you're dealing with this, the 4 month sleep regression is no joke. That was a dark time in my house. We first tried to sleep train at around 12 weeks, and honestly, it didn't work for us at that point, but I think for some babies it would have. We tried again at around 5 or 5.5 months and it worked amazingly well and she has been a great sleeper ever since. It's such a hard choice to make but it sounds like it might be the right choice for you at this point in time. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2281752 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 14:02:31 +0000 macintosh 2281752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know this isn't being consistent, but I just tried it when he woke early from his nap. I soothed him after 5 minutes, had to pick him up. He screamed as soon as I moved him back towards the crib. I tried for about 15 minutes total and gave up. He even kept screaming after I picked him up. I'm not sure if I can do this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2281749 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 14:00:02 +0000 Smurfette 2281749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Trailmix: +1 Why comment in a CIO thread if you are against it?</p> <p>We did CIO right before 4 moths. She wouldn't nap unless we held her, was hardly napping at day care. She would take an hour of nursing every night (she wouldn't use a pacifier) to get her asleep. Then we had to hold her for 20 mins before we could put her down. She started waking up every 30-90 mins at night. After three weeks of it and working, I had a break down. DH sort of forced me into it but I am so glad he did. We had already talked to the pedi about it and since she could a 10 hr stretch she said to try it. We said that we would not go in her room till after 2, and then I would feed one time. It was a rough couple nights, but within a week she was sleeping 10-12 hours She took a 20-30 mins to fall asleep, but now she takes 60+ so I think it is just hard for her to go to sleep. She finally would nap in her crib, still short naps, but they were in the crib. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2281743 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 13:57:21 +0000 mrbee 2281743@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We sleep trained at 4 1/2 months! It went so well, the difference was night and day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2281733 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 13:49:49 +0000 Trailmix 2281733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did our first (of so many) rounds of CIO at 4.5 months to try to eliminate one of the many MOTN feedings that was going on since I was so sleep deprived. It was hard but not as awful as I had feared and it did help. It sounds like in your case, it's going to sleep that is the issue and I would probably give it a go. Have a plan (Ferber, extinction, etc) and stick to it no matter what. Give it a 5-7 days to see progress. If there isn't any by that point, then it's probably time to take a break and try something else. </p> <p>@catomd00: Don't really see how that comment is constructive or helpful. Pretty much basically going to make the OP feel worse about everything and not contributing to a productive conversation. Just because you are anti-CIO doesn't mean that everyone is or that it's horrible. When my twins were four months old, I was literally waking up every 45-60 mins best case and wanted to die. CIO was the only option for me. Don't need to hear people judging for other people's parent decisions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2281724 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 13:42:53 +0000 catomd00 2281724@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There's a regression at 4 months. It sucks but it will pass. personally I think 4 months is way too young for CIO, but full disclosure I am very anti CIO to begin with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2281695 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 13:23:50 +0000 SleepyMonkey 2281695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think if you have exhausted all other avenues and the situation is not sustainable, then you are ready to try cio. We are in the midst of cio with dd2. It worked so beautifully for dd1, in one night and 45 mins. Dd2 is tougher...we are on night 5 of our second attempt (tried a month ago and saw no progress so i quit). She was waking up 3x a night and we were so tired so we decided to give it another go. She still cried for 30 mins last night and she still wakes up at 5am for the day. This one is trickier. But i am going to keep at it for a week and then see where we are and reassess. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-cry-it-out#post-2281689 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 13:16:43 +0000 blackbird 2281689@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When we sleep trained E, it was at 6 months and i was LOSING MY MIND. She was hysterical for upwards of 19, 20 minutes. Then just stopped. And that was it. </p> <p>T's a little younger than yours (16 weeks) and i've been working to this sleep guide: <a href="http://www.troublesometots.com/3-6-month-baby-sleep-survival-guide/" rel="nofollow">http://www.troublesometots.com/3-6-month-baby-sleep-survival-guide/</a> Which is challenging but it gives me some guidance. </p>