https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 26 Apr 2026 21:32:06 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-using-a-middle-name-that-3-family-members-have-2-dysfunctional#post-2179952 Fri, 15 May 2015 15:58:58 +0000 wonderstruck 2179952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MOMTOLITTLEB: In our situation it was not a<br /> middle name, but I suppose it depends on the family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-using-a-middle-name-that-3-family-members-have-2-dysfunctional#post-2179929 Fri, 15 May 2015 15:30:08 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2179929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: I didn't even consider consulting my sister when I gave my son the same middle name as her son. I wouldn't have given him the same first name but I think middle names are often family names and used a lot. I have two cousins with my middle name (named after great grandma) and I think it's a cool connection. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-using-a-middle-name-that-3-family-members-have-2-dysfunctional#post-2179912 Fri, 15 May 2015 15:18:33 +0000 Dandelion 2179912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>M shares a middle name with my brother. It's also my dad's first name and DH's late grandfather's first name. It's not confusing at all, cause most people don't even know M's middle name, or my dad's first, cause he goes by his own middle name. We liked it because it was such a popular name in both families, without being confusing.</p> <p>ETA: My brother has 2 girls, so won't be using the name any time soon. But, if he were to have a boy, I sort of think of middle names as "less important" than firsts, and I think it wouldn't be too weird for cousins to have same middle name. </p> <p>My grandmother's middle name is used quite a bit amongst my cousins, and my niece has it for her first name. I think everyone just loves having that connection to each other. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-using-a-middle-name-that-3-family-members-have-2-dysfunctional#post-2179840 Fri, 15 May 2015 14:20:40 +0000 wonderstruck 2179840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep. The comments from MIL would seriously annoy me.</p> <p>And what @turkeylurkey: said! I too would consider the fact that your brother may want to pass on his middle name if he has a son someday without factoring in that his son would be sharing the middle name with his cousin. My SIL did that and it seriously irked me - although in our case they didn't have history with the name on both sides like you do. But still, DH wanted to pass on his name and I didn't want cousins with matching names, and it put us in a hard spot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-using-a-middle-name-that-3-family-members-have-2-dysfunctional#post-2179672 Fri, 15 May 2015 12:35:34 +0000 looch 2179672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@turkeylurkey: this sounds like my family. It's super confusing to be at a family event. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-using-a-middle-name-that-3-family-members-have-2-dysfunctional#post-2179671 Fri, 15 May 2015 12:34:43 +0000 turkeylurkey 2179671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What about your brother? Is it a name he would want to use for his own kids? I have a cousin who did this and took her brother's name which is also my uncles name. My boy cousin had a baby the following year and said screw it I'm naming my son after me and my Dad. So now we have 4 of them with the same name. Which is confusing at times. LOL </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-using-a-middle-name-that-3-family-members-have-2-dysfunctional#post-2179650 Fri, 15 May 2015 12:25:57 +0000 Mama Bird 2179650@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't use a name that made me think of someone who caused the family a lot of pain, even if it was unintentional. Sometimes you can separate the name from the person, sometimes you just can't.</p> <p>That said, we did name DS after one of his grandfathers, who was a complicated person. But it was a gesture of forgiveness, I guess, not that they just happen to have similar names. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-using-a-middle-name-that-3-family-members-have-2-dysfunctional#post-2179642 Fri, 15 May 2015 12:23:53 +0000 skipra 2179642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We named our first the same name as DH's grandfather and my great-grandfather because it was a family name on both sides. When he was first born all I ever heard was that he was named after DH's grandfather with no recognition that it was a family name for me too. In my postpartum state I was super annoyed but now I don't care. If you like the name, go with it and let people think or assume what they may. Its probably not going to be a hot topic of conversation forever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-using-a-middle-name-that-3-family-members-have-2-dysfunctional#post-2179625 Fri, 15 May 2015 12:10:36 +0000 Ajsmommy 2179625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd use it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-using-a-middle-name-that-3-family-members-have-2-dysfunctional#post-2179610 Fri, 15 May 2015 11:57:10 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2179610@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We gave my son my dad's name as a middle name but we have a good relationship with him and knew they would be close. My nephew also has the same middle name. I think if the family members are not quite as beloved to you, you might rethink it because it seems like it would look like you're naming him after them. But really, you have to choose the name you want and if you're sure you can deal with MIL comments maybe you should stick with it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-using-a-middle-name-that-3-family-members-have-2-dysfunctional#post-2179604 Fri, 15 May 2015 11:51:31 +0000 yoursilverlining 2179604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would use a name you like/want to use, regardless of family association. What if you use a different name – say, Thomas, and next month your uncle Thomas goes out and kills 5 people?? Unless the name-holder was a particularly egregious family member, I don’t think that stuff matters long-term. My middle name is the name of my aunt, who isn’t a saint and who my parents don’t even have a great relationship with now. No one has ever made any mention to me about the connections between our names. </p> <p>Honestly, I would love to use a name from both families, and a sibling - that's like a jackpot name because everyone will think your honored "their" family! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-using-a-middle-name-that-3-family-members-have-2-dysfunctional#post-2179600 Fri, 15 May 2015 11:48:32 +0000 lady grey 2179600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrscobee: use it if it ends up being your fav pick for middle name unless you think MIL will annoy you too much! Haha! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-using-a-middle-name-that-3-family-members-have-2-dysfunctional#post-2179567 Fri, 15 May 2015 11:16:33 +0000 mrscobee 2179567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lady grey: Our families know each other and used to live in the same town. My family would not be annoyed with her comments. I would, but it would be possible for me to get over that! :) We do have other names we like. This particular middle name is one syllable compared to three though (other one we are considering heavily). First and last are two syllables. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-using-a-middle-name-that-3-family-members-have-2-dysfunctional#post-2179566 Fri, 15 May 2015 11:13:01 +0000 lady grey 2179566@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would use it since you like the name unless there are other middle name options you like just as well. Your kid probably won't be aware for the dysfunctional stuff for a very long time. And I would just let MIL enjoy it, she'd prob just talk it up with her friends or strangers. Unless your families know each other well and live in the same town? And your parents would be annoyed with her comments? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-using-a-middle-name-that-3-family-members-have-2-dysfunctional#post-2179560 Fri, 15 May 2015 11:07:33 +0000 Truth Bombs 2179560@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. We avoided a few names that we liked because they were associated with family members. It's not that we didn't like the family members, we just didn't want people assuming or outright saying that our child was "named after" that person when really we just liked the name. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/considering-using-a-middle-name-that-3-family-members-have-2-dysfunctional#post-2179554 Fri, 15 May 2015 11:04:37 +0000 mrscobee 2179554@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There is a name we were heavily considering as a middle name. Mostly because we like it, but one grandfather on each side happens to share it, and it is also my brother's middle name. Both grandfathers were pretty dysfunctional. Not horrible people or anything, in fact, very nice people. And everyone is a bit dysfunctional in their own way, but there is some significant dysfunction and pain surrounding them (from many years ago). If we used this name, MIL would also be thrilled (her father's name) and also point out all the time that LO is "named after him", when that isn't really 100% the case (we more just like the name and recognize that it has a presence across both families).</p> <p>Would these factors cause you to choose a different middle name? </p>