https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 06 Jun 2026 17:02:20 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/coping-with-anxiety-after-repeat-loss#post-2728040 Sun, 23 Apr 2017 20:44:04 +0000 periwinklebee 2728040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PeaceLily: Thank you :heart: All these suggestions have been super helpful. I'm thinking of you and really hope that things work out for you soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/coping-with-anxiety-after-repeat-loss#post-2727965 Sun, 23 Apr 2017 16:03:44 +0000 PeaceLily 2727965@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry you've gone through a second loss.</p> <p>Acupuncture has helped me a lot these last few months, if that's something you'd consider trying. I also started reading again which has been great at keeping me occupied. I love to read and for some reason stopped reading books months ago, probably due to stress.</p> <p>Im still anxious and worried, but just trying to keep myself busy with other things that have nothing to do with ttc. As you know, my loss 5 months ago was a termination at 19 weeks and was my first pregnancy. I think after you've experienced a loss and are aware that things don't always work out according to plan you lose your innocence with ttc and pregnancy. </p> <p>Ive also been trying to not compare myself to others as everyone has a different path and I'm confident that years from now I'll have the children I was meant to have and so will you. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/coping-with-anxiety-after-repeat-loss#post-2727913 Sun, 23 Apr 2017 11:57:30 +0000 periwinklebee 2727913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lazypanda: Thank you :heart: Thinking of you... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/coping-with-anxiety-after-repeat-loss#post-2727846 Sun, 23 Apr 2017 02:06:33 +0000 lazypanda 2727846@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: I'm sorry for your losses. I know we were on the September board together &amp; definitely share your pain in regards to the loss. For myself, acupuncture has been helpful to be able to cope with IF &amp; the anxiety of whether or not my pregnancy was viable when I was pregnant with DD. I think for myself, I have been trying to rationalize why it has been positive for us to not be pregnant at this time. It's easier said than done but I keep trying to find small blessings in life right now. I remember DH &amp; I would eat sashimi &amp; but our wedding wine for me to drink whenever AF showed up hoping that would be the last opportunity I would have for the next few months. Every person's experience is different &amp; how they manage their feelings varies greatly. I hope you are able to find something that will help you connect with your feelings whether it be learning new coping skills or restructuring your thought processes to manage your anxiety. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/coping-with-anxiety-after-repeat-loss#post-2727782 Sat, 22 Apr 2017 17:57:14 +0000 periwinklebee 2727782@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: Thank you :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/coping-with-anxiety-after-repeat-loss#post-2727752 Sat, 22 Apr 2017 15:03:28 +0000 pachamama 2727752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I also suffered terrible through my infertility. I was talking with my OB the other day and she was like, Man, I don't know what it is about infertility, it's just such a primal thing that gets us so highly emotional.<br /> I do know one day you will look back on this hard time and barely remember it. Seems impossible but it will happen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/coping-with-anxiety-after-repeat-loss#post-2727744 Sat, 22 Apr 2017 14:36:27 +0000 periwinklebee 2727744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jaguar: I'm sorry :heart: that sounds so hard. :heart: Did you find a therapist who specialized in IF or loss? This is maybe a really ignorant question, but did it mostly serve as someone to verbalize your feelings to? Or was it more focused on finding coping strategies? Or both? It is something I've thought about looking into...</p> <p>@ElbieKay: I've been thinking of you. I'm sure it must be that much harder when IF treatments are involved. I know that I need to work on managing my feelings better now, because if things still haven't worked out by sometime this summer we'll probably pursue interventions, which I know will just increase the stress. This is a really useful perspective on not focusing so much on outcomes. I came to that realization in my late 20s with my career - I cared so much about outcomes that I didn't control, and when I let go of being mostly outcome-oriented and focused more on the experience, it really changed my perspective on life and I became so much happier and less stressed. But I don't think I've really put that perspective to use with TTC - I've more just been really consumed with wanting a child (this is our first). While it's a tough pill to swallow, I think I would be happier if I could be less focused on the end point of holding my baby and focus instead on all the good things we have in our life now.</p> <p>@Pollywog: I can definitely see that perspective - I'm not sure how I'll cope with another pregnancy if it happens, but I agree that being detached is much better than being constantly worried and way more feasible than just expecting things to work out after repeat loss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/coping-with-anxiety-after-repeat-loss#post-2727728 Sat, 22 Apr 2017 12:11:51 +0000 Pollywog 2727728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry you are going through this. I had a similar story as you (drawn out, later loss followed by an early loss(. I got pregnant with LO1 the next cycle. The way I coped was with a "let go and let God" kind of attitude. I didn't celebrate, plan anything, or worry. I just ignored my little parasite until we hit 23 weeks (my version of viability. I knew babies who had survived at that point). While detachment isn't the healthiest, it was far healthier than my anxiety </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/coping-with-anxiety-after-repeat-loss#post-2727718 Sat, 22 Apr 2017 11:17:44 +0000 ElbieKay 2727718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: I don't have a ton of advice, but I just wanted to express my sympathy. I had a failed IUI a few months ago, and as you know I am now pregnant but unsure of the viability. This is my first pregnancy since a miscarriage a year ago. Even the failed IUI was more disappointing that a "regular" bfn because I felt like we put so much more effort into it. IUI is less effort that IVF, but all the monitoring appointments made me feel so hyperaware of the issue the entire month. It is really exhausting, and it just makes life feel like a slog.</p> <p>I have been trying to find peace with my current situation so that I can be less attached to the outcome of this infertility journey. I am not sure whether your infertility is primary or secondary. Mine is secondary, so I am thinking about the advantages of raising one child instead of two. (We could probably afford private school. I would not have to subject my 3yo to my newborn exhaustion. My husband and I are older parents, so a second child might extend our target retirement date. Etc.). I think this might be more challenging for primary infertility but there are still tradeoffs to having a child. Maybe you can look for the pockets of upside and try to stay focused on the journey rather than the outcome. I know it's tough though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/coping-with-anxiety-after-repeat-loss#post-2727667 Fri, 21 Apr 2017 22:09:21 +0000 jaguar 2727667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>big hugs.</p> <p>between infertility and loss, I was in a really bad place while TTC my 2nd.. I sought out therapy because I needed a space that I could offload the fears. I saw her all the way through my long awaited pregnancy too... because the anxiety never left me, and I was petrified something would go wrong the whole way through.</p> <p>x </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/coping-with-anxiety-after-repeat-loss#post-2727665 Fri, 21 Apr 2017 21:47:41 +0000 periwinklebee 2727665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsTal: Thank you, this is super helpful, I was thinking that I should find some meditations. </p> <p>@2PeasinaPod: Thank you :heart: I think it would help to set aside more time for taking care of myself. Our most recent loss coincided with the busiest time of year at work, and it's easy to think, ok, I just need to survive through this, but at some point it's not the best approach. That's really cool about crocheting - sounds very relaxing. I love to run but haven't focused on it as much lately. </p> <p>@catlady: I really struggle with the uncertainty and lack of control too. It's good to hear that taking a break helped a lot. It took us awhile to get pregnant the first time around, so I worry that our month might not come around that often and we'll mis it, but your experience makes me think that if we have another loss we should really consider time off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/coping-with-anxiety-after-repeat-loss#post-2727581 Fri, 21 Apr 2017 16:01:57 +0000 catlady 2727581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry you are going through this. I've been there and it sucks. I'm the type of person that likes to plan things and I was "good" at TTC (temping, opks, etc) but there was a point where I just felt so sad and out of control about the whole situation and it was very hard for me to handle. This may not be right for you, but what helped me after 2 losses in a row was actually to take a short break. I used the time to plan a vacation, started eating healthier and lost a little weight that I'd put on during my lost pregnancy, started a workout regime, and generally just tried to relax and enjoy myself. DH and I agreed we were ok waiting 3 months before trying again. I felt great after only about a month. It was so freeing not to worry about timing sex, two week wait, etc. and I realized that all that stuff had really been stressing me out. Ironically, after 2 months, we had an oops and he is 4.5 months old now. Even if we hadn't gotten pregnant during our break though, I think I would have felt much better going back into TTC after relaxing for a few months.</p> <p>Best of luck and hugs to you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/coping-with-anxiety-after-repeat-loss#post-2727578 Fri, 21 Apr 2017 15:54:35 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2727578@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry to hear about your losses. I've had 6 pregnancies and have 2 little boys, so I've also had my fair share of them. I would also recommend mindfulness and meditation. I also tried to become more healthy. I focused my energy on the things that I could control. Running helped me relieve stress, and it also helped me on anxious days. Ironically enough, after my 4th loss, before my second son, I taught myself how to crochet. I still use that as a stress relief when things get hairy for me. </p> <p>Please do your best to take care of yourself. This is a really hard time, and when you have multiple losses, it's easy to get stressed and anxious thanks to the hormone roller coaster you're on. If you need anything, please PM! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/coping-with-anxiety-after-repeat-loss#post-2727574 Fri, 21 Apr 2017 15:40:02 +0000 MrsTal 2727574@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry about your losses. When I was going through my infertility stuff I found meditation helpful in reducing my stress, circle and bloom makes TTC specific mediations but I've also used an app called calm and both were awesome in helping ease my anxiety. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/coping-with-anxiety-after-repeat-loss#post-2727568 Fri, 21 Apr 2017 15:32:45 +0000 periwinklebee 2727568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a somewhat drawn out loss back in Jan/Feb, that involved bleeding throughout the pregnancy, bed rest, and a slow heartbeat/slow growth that created a couple weeks of limbo. Much to my shock, I got pregnant again beginning of this month, but after some beta limbo that also ended in loss. </p> <p>I feel like a combination of residual stress from the uncertainty of non-viable pregnancies, the hormone fluctuations, and dread about future TTC has made me feel anxious/stressed about everything. It spills over from TTC into work and other areas of life and is just pretty miserable. </p> <p>I'm curious if anyone has any tips or ideas for reducing stress and anxiety following loss, and feeling less stressed about future TTC? Thank you :heart: </p>