https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 19 Apr 2026 07:35:34 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-267195 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 21:01:04 +0000 Shimmer 267195@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know I would never be able to forgive/forget. That's just my nature, I suppose. I am glad to hear that she dropped them somewhere safe and I hope she got help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-267178 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 20:30:33 +0000 tequiero21 267178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i want to say no, but probably would cuz i know my husband would have had a really good reason for doing that - even if that reason is that he's so stressed out and couldn't take it. and like @hilsy85 said at least she left them somewhere safe instead of drowning/hurting them like i've read in the news. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-266981 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 16:58:50 +0000 Andrea 266981@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe you could forgive if she was mentally unstable or something. But I would not forget or trust her alone with the kids again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-266902 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 15:57:04 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 266902@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HeatherlovesKenny: I agree. Like PP have also said: she was not in a stable mental state obviously...but to me it's like: all the more reason to leave her....scary:/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-266897 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 15:55:12 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 266897@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>NO NO NO. No matter what kind of stress a person is under or what kind of crappy marriage they are in: they should never endanger children's lives like that nor should they ever give up on being a parent. Those poor, poor kids....I pray to God they don't remember that day. Imagine the feelings of those kids as momma drove off:( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-266882 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 15:43:11 +0000 blackbird 266882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've had some friends with deployed husbands and kids at home...the stress is enormous. 10x more than anyone else deals with in real life. It's just unbelievable and enough to make anyone crack. Perhaps especially someone who isn't that mentally strong to begin with. A lot of them get very depressed and struggle to just get by day after day. She must've just snapped. Unfortunately, she should've reached out to her FRG or a counselor on base instead of leaving her kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-266620 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 12:57:36 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 266620@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My first reaction is no. I certainly wouldn't be able to trust that person again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-266568 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 12:25:28 +0000 chopsuey 266568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it depends. If she didn't have a support system and was alone with the kids 24/7 I think I can understand and possibly forgive.. Would be hard to trust her again though.<br /> It's hard to take care of kids without family nearby. It's good that she ditched the kids in a safe place instead of doing something drastic. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-266564 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 12:20:50 +0000 Goldilocks1107 266564@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rescuemom10: I think being in the military would add an extra, complicated layer to it. Even if it was caused by PPD, you're right, he will be deployed again and what if it happens again? In order to regain the trust, I would probably need to reconfigure the lifestyle - instead of base life, it might mean she needs to move closer to home to have that support structure during the recovery process. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-266563 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 12:20:38 +0000 littlebug 266563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>While it's hard for me to comprehend, I have no idea what was going on in her life at that moment, so it's hard for me to make a judgement. And like pps have said, dropping them at a daycare is much better than the alternatives of just leaving them at home alone or worse. If she was experiencing Post-Partum Depression or Psychosis, at least she had the wherewithal to recognize that her feelings weren't right and she needed to get her kids to safety. Too many people in that frame of mind wouldn't. Yes, she could have taken the kids with her to her family, but she may have realized that even traveling with them would have been unsafe. </p> <p>If it were me and my husband did that, I'd need to understand where he was when it happened. If he did it because he honestly feared for the children's safety by staying with them, then yes, I'd forgive him. But I would also make sure he got extensive counseling and that we worked through the issues together. If he did it because he was tired of being a dad? Yeah, no...buck up, dude. See ya in divorce court. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-266560 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 12:18:05 +0000 mrsjyw 266560@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>NO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-266553 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 12:11:07 +0000 Rescuemom10 266553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Military life can be stressful. I understand that. So I dont know what else it could have been. I know there was no family death or anything and that the husband was shocked and not expecting his wife would have left him. But personaly understanding military life, I dont think I could trust her again. Its not an easy lifestyle and knowing that he has and will deploy again would be scary leaving your children again with her...she def does need help, but I cant imagine what it will be like the rest of his career and everyime he has to leave home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-266541 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 12:00:15 +0000 Cole 266541@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have to assume that there was something seriously wrong-- her mental state was not right, there were drugs or alcohol involved, someone close died or was dying? No one in their right state of mind just abandons their children. Even with one of those excuses I would have a hard time forgiving dh, or maybe I could eventually forgive him but I would have a really hard time staying with him and trusting him with our children. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-266530 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 11:49:12 +0000 mrbee 266530@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: 100% agree!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-266526 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 11:47:15 +0000 Mrsbells 266526@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>wow.. why would she do such a thing? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-266524 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 11:44:45 +0000 LuLu Mom 266524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think I would be able to forgive and overlook the situation he put our children in. It would take a lot of communication, therapy, and trust to move on from this. I understand being stressed out but there is also alternatives to abandonment! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-266492 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 11:26:20 +0000 hilsy85 266492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it would be really hard to forgive that...but my first thought was at least she left the kids somewhere safe instead of just leaving them at home alone or something. Who knows what her mental state was at the time? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-266483 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 11:23:10 +0000 mrstilly 266483@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My initial reaction is no f-ing way! </p> <p>I know that everyone needs a break now and then, but I have a very hard time believing that there isn't a better way to get it. Family, a babysitter, a friend, a neighbor, a therapist... If you are really that desperate, there has got to be someone who can help. </p> <p>When you have kids, it is an 18 year commitment to put their needs and well being first. You don't get to just drop them off and leave the state. I'd be calling a divorce lawyer asap. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-266471 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 11:11:46 +0000 JessicaMcB 266471@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, there's no way I'd forgive DH for that. </p> <p>I think if this woman had the presence of mind to go home to her family she should've brought the kids with her and left them with her family while she figured out whatever the hell the issue was. She had options and chose a pretty stupid one IMO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-266464 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 11:07:08 +0000 HLK208 266464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's so incredibly sad. No, I don't think I could forgive DH for that and he wouldn't forgive or trust me either! We love our children so much. Even if we needed a break, we would find family or a babysitter...for a few hours only.</p> <p>There's obviously something deeply wrong if she decided to abandon her children. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-266461 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 11:05:48 +0000 Honeybee 266461@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldilocks1107: PPD or another stress disorder/form of depression was my first thought, too. If that was the cause, and my husband was willing to address this and get help, I would probably reconcile. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-266458 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 11:01:36 +0000 Goldilocks1107 266458@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Depending on extenuating circumstances. If she had post-partum depression and needed to get away before she "did something" worse, then I think it would be something a couple could work through. And definitely a lot more forgivable than the alternative. But if there wasn't an underlying cause, it would be a lot harder. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-266453 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 10:59:07 +0000 Crisark 266453@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow! And NO I wouldn't be able to forgive something like this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-forgive-your-so-for-this#post-266448 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 10:56:05 +0000 Rescuemom10 266448@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Imagaine this.....<br /> You are out of the Country for work, your SO is home with the children. You get a phone call from CPS because your SO ditched your kids at a daycare (a daycare which you dont use) and left the State. </p> <p>This floored me when I heard it. Its a Military guy who was deployed, the wife wanted to leave and had enough and was stresed out. Took the kids to a daycare which she did not use because she was a SAHM and just dropped them at the front and left. Went back to her home state leaving the kids.<br /> The Husband came home ASAP of course, and the wife eventually came back and they are trying to work things out.</p> <p>I honestly do not think I could forgive my DH if he ever abandoned our children like that. </p>