https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Apr 2026 04:10:33 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/4#post-2381985 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 15:09:00 +0000 Mrswonderwoman 2381985@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Absolutely yes. I had a home birth with my first, and I'm planning to do so again for my second, who is due next week. It isn't for everybody, though, and I think knowing your own comfort level, health risks, etc is important before you make the decision.</p> <p>For my first home birth, it was imperative to me to choose a midwife that was experienced because I was nervous about the whole thing going south. My midwife had done literally hundreds of home births, so I felt very comfortable with her. I had a pretty difficult labor and there were a few moments we did discuss transferring, but that was mostly just because things were moving slow and I was getting a bit tired. But dangit, I was determined! So even though DS was asynclitic and I was utterly spent, he was born safely at home at 38 weeks. DS was totally healthy and fine :) Keep in mind, I live literally 2 minutes from a great hospital, and we are good family friends with two of the OBs on call there, so....we really felt completely okay the whole time.</p> <p>This being my second home birth, I ended up switching midwives (for a variety of reasons) and while I'm still nervous, I at least have some idea of what to expect. And my doula the first time around encouraged me that number 2 would be easier if I didn't have to deal with poor baby positioning. So we are crossing our fingers for that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/4#post-2355090 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 03:43:28 +0000 Kemma 2355090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: I fell down the rabbit hole of UC on mothering.com one night when I was up feeding Felix and I was just fascinated!</p> <p>I get the impression that a lot of women who opt to UC do so because they dont feel they have any other choice. Some of them have had traumatic hospital births in the past and no longer have any trust in the medical profession to treat them with respect and compassion, so UC is away for them to regain control and heal themselves, for want of a better word. Some of them just can't find a provider who is willing to work with them to achieve their desired birth so they just go completely off the grid.</p> <p>On one hand, I can't help but admire them for the confidence and faith they have in their bodies to deliver a baby without assistance but on the other hand I can't help but think they're being foolhardy and altogether too casual with their lives.</p> <p>As to the lack of prenatal care, from what I've read, a lot of the women have great trouble finding a Dr or midwife who is willing to deviate from the standard model of care. I've read stories of Ob's resorting to bully tactics when a woman refuses GD testing or ultrasounds, or just flat out refusing to keep them on has patients.</p> <p>To me, UC is just one bridge too far and surely it would be better for women to have access to medical professionals who will work with their preferences (where medically indicated, obviously) and be able to birth where they feel most comfortable, with the assistance of trained professionals, rather than limiting their choices and risking the health and wellbeing of mothers and babies. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/4#post-2354665 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 16:36:56 +0000 avivoca 2354665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: I had H in Indiana and I'm so pleased with the level of care I received from my midwives. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/4#post-2354624 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 16:25:35 +0000 littlejoy 2354624@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@avivoca: I can't imagine living in a place where I couldn't make choices for my own body/baby. I'm sorry you had to deal with that, but I'm so happy you were able to find a provider that supported you! :) My home state (Indiana) just started allowing CNMs at home births. It's great to see it changing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/4#post-2354613 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 16:22:36 +0000 avivoca 2354613@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: I cringe too, but living where I do (Kentucky), I know that a lot of women in the rural areas do not have access to midwife care. I birthed in a hospital with a CNM, but I had to cross state lines because none of the hospitals in my city at the time employed CNM's and the professional midwives are not allowed hospital privileges. It's actually illegal for a professional midwife to attend a home birth. The closest hospital with a CNM was almost an hour away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/4#post-2354605 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 16:19:06 +0000 teawithpaloma 2354605@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: Yes exactly! I am actually fine if you want to forgo ultrasounds (not for me) but basic monitoring can save your life and the baby's life. You don't have to judge but I probably would say something a few times to someone in my life or even a friend of a friend if I heard this was happening. I would show them this documentary on birth in Senegal and see if it changes their mind because they are essentially signing up for the same thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/4#post-2354581 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 16:07:45 +0000 littlejoy 2354581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@teawithpaloma: What also concerns me is that many women who choose unassisted birth have little to no prenatal care. They have no idea if the baby is healthy enough for a vaginal birth, if they have placenta previa, etc. </p> <p>I'm torn on judging these women, because most made the decision after experiencing a traumatic birth in a hospital setting. My first reaction is to cringe, and wonder why they don't seek the support of a loving midwife who would support them in their home setting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/3#post-2354561 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 16:00:36 +0000 teawithpaloma 2354561@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: Exactly. Unresolved tears, fistulas, bowel perforations, so many things can happen if you don't get care soon after an unassisted birth. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/3#post-2354557 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 15:59:23 +0000 teawithpaloma 2354557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: I met a woman on the subway who "fired" her doctor and gave birth at home with her husband, her sister and brother-in-law. They showed up at the hospital after the baby was born! </p> <p>But seriously, this is a bad idea. I did work on maternal health in Ghana and do you know how many women would give anything to have a skilled attendant at birth?!?! They have seen too many babies and moms die due to no attendants or traditional birth attendants. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/3#post-2354485 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 15:32:21 +0000 littlejoy 2354485@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: Unassisted birth is not for me, but I have a friend who decided to have one after a very negative hospital birth. Everything went fine for her. </p> <p>I had a fast labor, so I could unintentionally have an unassisted birth next time, but the midwives would still be called as soon as I'm in labor!!! I wonder what women with tears do!!! No way could you handle that on your own! (And yes, home birth midwives can give stitches). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/3#post-2354335 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 14:43:22 +0000 Autumnmama79 2354335@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, a dream birth for me would be in a tub, at home. Reality however, I was too scared to do that with my first and my second will be be an attempt at a vbac, which could of course end in another C. </p> <p>I'll continue to dream and be in awe of those who are able to deliver at home :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/3#post-2354331 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 14:42:21 +0000 Kemma 2354331@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just to add another layer to the conversation, has anybody ever seriously considered "unassisted childbirth" as an option? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/3#post-2354315 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 14:35:57 +0000 MoonMoon 2354315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: yes! I wish everyone could have that "best of all worlds" birth, whatever it means for them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/3#post-2354309 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 14:33:42 +0000 Kemma 2354309@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MoonMoon: oh absolutely, I guess what I was trying to say (in a roundabout way!) was that one birthing environment is not inherently safer than any other. I believe women deserve to be able to make informed choices about their pregnancies and births, and birth where they are most comfortable, be that at home or in a birthing unit or a hospital. </p> <p>And a total yes! To having health professionals that will work with you! My first babe as actually delivered by a home birth midwife in hospital (well baby was sucked out by the OB but you get my drift) and it really felt like the best of both worlds - I had a midwife who was prepared to take her time and be cautious with the interventions but access to the OB when I needed it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/3#post-2354304 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 14:33:04 +0000 Rockies11 2354304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: yeah I mean I guess I think that overwhelmingly, low risk births are going to be free of any serious complications no matter where you have them. But that doesn't change the fact that, with some low risk births, there can be serious complications that come up very rapidly, where minutes or even seconds count. But that also doesn't change the fact that it's unlikely to happen to you. I am the only person I know that had complications like I had - most people had straightforward births with few issues. I think the decision to home birth requires an understanding that that risk exists but is unlikely to happen. For me, there's no corresponding benefit from a home birth that outweighs the risk, but for other people there might be. And having a bad hospital experience prior might shift the balance! With both my kids, my hospital experience was really positive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/3#post-2354238 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 14:02:46 +0000 MoonMoon 2354238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: thanks! I hope I didn't come across in my responses as saying all home births are bad! I just want to put forward that it is possible to have a positive hospital experience, hopefully at more and more places. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/3#post-2354233 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 13:58:53 +0000 Reese 2354233@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. Not for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/3#post-2354212 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 13:53:47 +0000 littlejoy 2354212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MoonMoon: It's amazing that you had such a positive experience. I think hospitals (at least ones with progressive administration) are feeling the pressure to create more welcome and comfortable environments for birth. </p> <p>In Oregon, most hospitals will allow all of the things above, which is great. Home birth was the right choice for me, but I've been in the room with friends at the hospital who gave birth: on a birth stool, in a pool, etc., and were allowed to move freely and basically do what they want with intermittent monitoring. </p> <p>To your point about people saying hospitals are all bad, I agree with you. The same can be said for people who flat out say "home birth is scary and unsafe". Blanket statements don't help anyone, and I really like your perspective. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/3#post-2354191 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 13:43:28 +0000 MoonMoon 2354191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: I definitely agree about unnecessary interventions and the cascade effect. I believe women gain a lot by being informed and advocating for themselves. </p> <p>But a lot of what you mentioned isn't inherent to hospitals. I think part of being informed is having a Dr and hospital who will work with you. I gave birth in a hospital with no IV, no epidural, no interventions of any kind. I could move, eat, use the shower, the hot tub, etc. My doulas were both welcome. I was able to try different positions for pushing. There was an awesome CNM on staff who was there for the birth along with my OB. I ascertained all this before going into labor. So I just want to dispel the notion that a hospital birth is incompatible with an intervention-free birth.</p> <p>A lot of people talk as if hospitals are these awful places. But it has to be said, they are great for many people! I kind of thought of it as a hotel with room service, and I was so comforted by the around the clock checks on me and my baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/3#post-2354182 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 13:39:14 +0000 annie624 2354182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely not. I admire those who do, though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/3#post-2354179 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 13:37:16 +0000 littlejoy 2354179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a home birth, and if everything goes well next time, we'll do it again. It was an amazing experience. </p> <p>As far as safety, the research indicates that in a normal pregnancy/labor, outcomes are the same (even better in some areas) than hospital birth. Midwives bring a ton of equipment that can almost always fix any "emergency" or at least make the woman/baby stable for a transfer if needed. The "what if" definitely crossed my mind, but I had to trust my body ... Thankfully, everything went well. </p> <p>It's such a individual choice. And even then, I would never try for a home birth of I had anything other than a normal pregnancy.</p> <p>Additionally, I purposefully chose a midwifery practice with CNM's who had hospital privileges (in case of transfer). My team is very conservative (no breech, no multiples, no pre-e, no mech, no vbac etc.). I was super close with them, reviewed their stats, talked at length about their safety protocols, and made a choice that was best for me and my baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/3#post-2354148 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 13:29:43 +0000 skipra 2354148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One of the midwives suggested it with my second because we moved and the hospital was kind of far. I didn't want it and would not choose it as a first choice but I would prefer a home birth to a car or ambulance birth which is almost what happened. I did not have any issues with either of my births but it still seems scary to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/3#post-2354131 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 13:22:59 +0000 Kemma 2354131@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is just an opinion based on my experiences and what I've read but I really believe that hospitals contribute to some of the issues during birth. For example, woman goes to hospital and is placed on constant monitoring, can't leave the bed and isn't allowed to eat. Labour doesn't progress because the woman isn't allowed to move around to find HER optimal positioning, woman and baby both get tired and the cascade of interventions begin because she's also not meeting the timeline her body doesn't know it's on.</p> <p>Contrast that with a woman labouring at home, comfortable in her own environment and being allowed to move and work at her own pace and with her own body and chances are none of the issues that arose in the hospital scenario are even on the radar at home.</p> <p>And yes, I know this is a pretty basic and generalised scenario but it is the reality for some women. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/3#post-2353912 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 11:53:15 +0000 gingerbebe 2353912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was really interested in a homebirth or at least a natural birth in a birthing center when we started TTC. I was young and healthy with no previous health issues, so I thought we'd be fine with it. But then health issues cropped up for me in the ensuing years, plus a difficult pregnancy overall, so we decided to deliver at a big hospital with a Level 3 NICU. </p> <p>I don't think my desire for either birth scenario - homebirth or hospital - was in conflict at any time. I wanted to be in a setting that made me the most comfortable and gave me the most peace of mind so that I could deliver a healthy baby. Its just that when the time came for my son's birth, the factors that we were dealing with made that setting a big hospital. And after a spontaneous water break, a 36 hour failed induction with pitocin and an epidural, an emergency c-section during which I bled heavily, and a NICU stay for DS, we absolutely made the right call. His heartrate had been falling and when he was born his cord was wrapped around his neck. If we had tried a homebirth, we would have transferred eventually, and I would have been super stressed out the whole time, not to mention the potential risk to my son. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/3#post-2353897 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 11:46:39 +0000 LovelyPlum 2353897@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rockies11: gah, I just lost a whole long response!! But I'm super glad that you and babe are OK. :happy: </p> <p>I'm really torn about the whole thing, actually. I know that plan for the worst, expect the best is probably prudent. Births can go wrong, and when it's needed, a hospital is a huge blessing. On the other hand, it doesn't sit well with me to treat every birth as if it were one second away from everything going horribly awry. That seems to be the mentality with hospitals requiring continuous monitoring, IVs "just in case," not letting women eat during labor, etc, all so if she needs it, she can get into surgery in an instant. Where is the line? Quick access to a hospital? Already being in he facility, but not being hooked up? Being hooked up and all ready to go, in case things don't go well? Delivering in an OR? I just don't know. </p> <p>I'm also chuckling to myself because I never thought in a million years that I would be a home birth supporter. I needed some interventions in my hospital birth with my first, but nothing emergent. All things considered, though, I think the hospital did me a disservice by not listening to my concerns during labor. Next time, I think I would be willing to talk about it, if possible. I really dont want to go back to the hospital, if I can avoid it. My midwife is actally trying to start a birthing center, and I would for sure love that, if the pregnancy was going well. If only we had the benefit of hindsight when making these decisions :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/3#post-2353825 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 11:16:13 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2353825@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I used to love reading home birth stories. I had a few blogs I loved to just pore over. This was before I was even TTC. I watched and loved the business of being born.</p> <p> I knew it probably would be an option for me because, 1. My partner isn't the type, 2. Insurance would mean not paying a cent vs paying 100%, and 3. As a nurse I don't know if I could justify it when push came to shove. </p> <p>At the very least, I thought for sure I would want to get discharged ASAP, I was hoping for that day if possible. I even cried on the second morning in the hospital because I was hoping they would discharge us and they said no. (Gave birth Sunday early morning, didn't leave till Tuesday night). But honestly in hindsight I wish I stayed another night! We had to drive back to the hospital for weight checks anyways the next two days, and maybe I could have got a little more sleep. Probably not. I think what it comes down to, is I was pretty comfortable in the hospital environment. I felt safe and taken care of. I had a good experience and felt supported yet left alone.</p> <p>Oh and edited to add I ended up with unsuspected complications like a hemorrhage and preeclampsia, plus they would have seen protein in my urine and sent me right off to the hospital. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/3#post-2353745 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 10:44:18 +0000 Rockies11 2353745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: I don't think that the hospital can necessarily prevent complications, they're just there to assist quickly. My low-risk pregnancy turned into a birth with many complications, including meconium, cord wrapped around baby's neck, heart decels, vacuum extraction, baby requiring recessitation, postpartum placenta issues, and a massive almost immediate infection. All of that happened within about 10 minutes. None of what happened was preventable, but we were spared disability and death by quick treatment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/3#post-2353648 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 10:09:36 +0000 chibee 2353648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never ever could. Before my first child I would kind of brush it off and go "not for me" but now I am terrified - Jack needed assistance breathing immediately following birth after a perfect labor and delivery because he ingested meconium on his way out of the birth canal so it was a true last minute emergency. He had to be intubated minutes after birth, and while he was totally fine I don't know what could have happened if we didn't have those services immediately available to us following birth. So you could say I'm a bit traumatized - up to the minute he fully came out of me I would have said, hey, I could have done this at home! (although probably not bc i fully enjoyed the epidural) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/3#post-2353640 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 10:06:50 +0000 LovelyPlum 2353640@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tidybee: so scary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-you-have-a-home-birth/page/3#post-2353639 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 10:06:13 +0000 LovelyPlum 2353639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: I just saw thst on ACOG. I think the risk goes from 0.9 per thousand in the hospital to 2.0 per thousand in the hospital. I would not want my baby to be that extra one, but I do think it's notable that the rate is 2 per thousand. Thst means you still have less than a 1% chance, if you meet the criteria. I also thought it was interesting, and smart, thst ACOG doesn't recommend it for first time moms. That way, you can know how your body treated L&amp;D the first time. I will freely admit that I would not have chosen it with #1! But my issues were actually not handled well in the hospital (hip problems flaring during labor), and I'm pretty sure that being at home might help me! </p>