https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 24 May 2026 11:32:58 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2806375 Mon, 26 Feb 2018 16:31:28 +0000 krispi 2806375@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband has done bedtime since my daughter was a newborn. (The 2 of us got on a rotating sleep schedule early, and those roles have just stuck ever since.) I used to be able to trade off with him on nights that he wasn't available, but now it feels like he's the only one who is able to get our 2.5 year old to sleep. Ever since we converted her to a toddler bed, he puts her in the bed, sings and reads to her in the bed, and leaves her to fall asleep (the way bedtime is "supposed" to go). For me, she will toss and turn, play with her animals, mess with her blankets, but she never falls asleep and usually gets out of the bed several times. And now I'm the one left feeling like I don't know his tricks and can't put her to sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805944 Fri, 23 Feb 2018 16:59:57 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2805944@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm agreeing with others in that you need to let them sort it out on their own. Your DH has to get more confident in that he's able to calm him. The baby can also feel DH's anxiety, and your anxiety, so trying to keep calm and patient is going to be key for your DH, and you'll have to be somewhere where the baby can't feel your anxiety. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805827 Fri, 23 Feb 2018 13:03:42 +0000 maddyz 2805827@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: I am also clearly terrible for my kids.... no naps, dinner on the floor, non stop bedtime drama. But without me, easy peasy.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805826 Fri, 23 Feb 2018 13:02:03 +0000 maddyz 2805826@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have to leave for it to go easily for DH.... If the baby knows i am there he just wants boobs. And somehow babies always know when I am close.</p> <p>It's hard, but I had to trust that they would find their way without me. The same thing with any one else really. It's not about doing what I do, but about finding what works for them.</p> <p>Also, 12 weeks is still super little, there will be SO much change in the months to come. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805727 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 22:37:52 +0000 Mama Bird 2805727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When the kids were young (like under 18 months?) DH could only put them to bed with much screaming. I mean, sometimes he did it anyway, because I'd done my routine and it wasn't working at all that day, but it would be an hour of screaming. </p> <p>Then they kind of grew out of the screaming thing, but would just whine for me non-stop if I wasn't the one putting them to bed. And it's impossible for a tired working adult to wait out the whining - they can easily stay up past midnight if they want. So DH still can't really do bedtime.</p> <p>But. If I'm not in the house, they go to bed for him like little angels, and are snoring away in half an hour. I'm bad for them, clearly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805717 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 21:41:07 +0000 MrsSRS 2805717@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>😂😂😂😂<br /> He could handle it once they were each about 2. 2 years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805714 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 21:33:20 +0000 youboots 2805714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. Putting DD down when he is home (he also travels during the week several days a month) is his parenting task. I never nursed her to sleep- that was the start of bedtime before she was weaned.</p> <p>Now she’s almost 3. When it’s me putting her down I make it fast and boring. PJs, brush teeth, kiss on the head- that’s it. With DH is stacks of books and lots of cuddles since it’s their special 1x1 time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805711 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 21:13:48 +0000 Tanjowen 2805711@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are bottle fed, but did breastfeed and nurse to sleep until a few weeks ago. Not sure if that's an issue anymore. We follow a routine of bath, lotion, bottle, bed. I sing to him but DH doesn't so maybe I need to cut that part out?</p> <p>It sounds like I need to go out in ear plugs or rum an errand and let them sort it out. I can't handle my babies crying so it sucks big time, and since I handle it so much on my own it's hard to back off. </p> <p>Oddly enough, nap time is a non issue. But I swear the kid refuses anyone but me once we get past 5 pm. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805667 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 16:15:29 +0000 Mrs D 2805667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For us...I have always been primary bedtime parent (I have control issues). Both our girls (4 &amp; 2) will fuss is I have DH put them to bed...but if I am not in the house it is a complete non issue... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805665 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 16:04:06 +0000 LBee 2805665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. Once moved to a crib both children have started an established routine that consists of a 30 minute gap between nursing and being placed in a crib. As others have said, assuming you aren't nursing to sleep you just need to let them find their groove and keep at it. A strict routine helps a lot as well. We've had sitters put LO2 down multiple times since she was about 10 weeks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805664 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 16:00:52 +0000 codeitall 2805664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Interestingly DH is almost always the one to put the kids to bed (I can if needed, but that's his gig). But middle of the night is a totally different story. Our 11 month old just shrieks bloody murder when he gets her and he always brings her to me to actually get her down.</p> <p>My personal opinion is that my baby views me as a pacifier and nothing Dad offers can rival that for now haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805652 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 15:37:26 +0000 gingerbebe 2805652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. We have always followed the exact same sleep routine for both kids since forever. They get baths (that DH handles), and when they go down for nap or sleep, regardless of who it is, we do jammies, sleep sack, put them in a dark room, white noise, sing the same 2 songs, pray over them, then say Mommy/Daddy loves you, night night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805651 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 15:35:46 +0000 Eko 2805651@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no advice except hang in there :heart:</p> <p>I always did bedtime with DS. Since he had bad reflux and sleeping for so long it was easier for all of us if I just did bedtime. Anytime DH tried it was a nightmare. Plus, once DS turned a year bedtime took 2 minutes, so it didnt feel like a burden. With LO #2 I am taking care of her bedtime and DH does LO#1. It takes him longer to get him down, but it gets there. Some nights i just have to spend 5 minutes to get him to sleep if its a terrible night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805633 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 14:30:28 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2805633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I second those who said don't rescue them. We're bottle feeding so a bottle has been part of the routine for both lo1 and lo2 but it's not the very last thing either. Lo3 just switched to all formula so hoping to do the same thing but so far we are still fighting sleep here and it's still a circus and even though I'm probably not doing a good thing for routines our routine is very loose right now which basically consists of tagging along for big brother and sister's routine followed by a bottle and swaddle and lights out. So you're not alone.. I feel like I'm gonna lose it at the end of the night if one of the kids refuses sleep, and that's WITH help with the kids and dd going to school. So I can totally understand why you would rescue them, but I think try not to if you can! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805603 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 11:50:55 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2805603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: omg no and this is so stressful to me right now. My baby is 4m and I’ll be going back to work in 2m... and I work evening shift! At this point my baby will basically scream at any point when my husband holds her in the evenings. She does a little better in the mornings. I have been doing everything for her because with our three year old it’s been all about divide and conquer. And when he gets home from work I am so ready for someone else to deal with our son, and I just deal with the demanding yet simple/straightforward needs of the baby! So basically, I think some of this is natural when you are nursing and are basically everything to the baby but I’ve made it worse with my go to attitude of “I’ll just do it”. No advice, just commiseration. I do plan to start having my husband take baby a lot more in the weekend mornings when she’s happy and in her best mood of the day. And maybe in evenings make sure to keep baby close to him and interacting with him even when I am holding her! It’s so so tough. I basically lose my mind in the evenings and I am so snappy at my husband :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805594 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 11:04:10 +0000 MrsSCB 2805594@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I nursed my son to sleep until around 17 months. There were a few nights I was away during that time, so he could if necessary. But for the most part I just did it. Now he's only nursing in the morning, so my husband and I alternate who puts him to bed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805586 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 10:43:30 +0000 cake2017 2805586@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I thought about this a few days ago. LO is 8 months and I have been the only one to put him down for bed. I nurse him to sleep but there’s been times when he goes down awake and he’s fine. </p> <p>Now my mom can put him to bed as well because he has a routine with her when she watches him. </p> <p>I think routine is key. DH will read to him some nights at bedtime but then he goes to me to nurse. I think we will switch it up soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805584 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 10:41:53 +0000 catgirl 2805584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly not until I weaned at 28 months. It sucked at times. I didn't nurse to sleep but nursing was part of her bedtime routine and she refused a bottle from 5 months on. DH had to do it a couple of times and it was a complete disaster. I was harder though because DH isn't home for bedtime 2-5 nights of the week. Once I weaned DH has been doing it when he's home no problem. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805580 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 10:30:55 +0000 Becky 2805580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If he gave them a bottle, yes. However I liked to nurse them to sleep. I had a few overnight work trips and other people had to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805571 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 10:04:30 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2805571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m the SO in this situation and yes I was able to get DS to sleep. Comparing us to our IRL friends, the most important thing seemed to be whether the baby would take a bottle or not. DS was combo fed from birth because he was premature so we could both handle feedings and night wakings. Of all our friends, the ones whose babies wouldn’t take a bottle had bad luck with the bedtime stuff. And I agree with pp’s that your hubby needs to keep at it and find his own ways to do it. We both had slightly different techniques but followed the same order of routine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805570 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 10:03:57 +0000 snowjewelz 2805570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With DD1, she night weaned herself around 6 months so after that it was easier for anyone to put her to sleep. But we did go through a rough patch after DD2 was born; she wasn't used to DH putting her to sleep and it took a while to adjust. Now, DH puts her to sleep the fastest. </p> <p>With DD2, she is a boob addict so currently it's tough for anyone else to put her down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805556 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 09:23:54 +0000 skinnycow 2805556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was the only one that could put DD asleep until 13 months (when I stopped nursing her). DH had to put her down out of necessity when I was out of town for two nights and it was a nightmare. He ended up sleeping on a mattress on the floor with her... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805555 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 09:21:46 +0000 peachykeen 2805555@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With DD2 it's hopeless for DH to try, although at 7 months we need to try harder to sleep train her so he may start playing a bigger role. DD2 has never been able to fall asleep without a boob - we tried when she was younger and then just gave up.</p> <p>DD1 was bottle fed so DH could do more. I honestly don't remember the breakdown but it probably varied throughout the year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805546 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 08:54:24 +0000 petitenoisette 2805546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not for a long time, no. I nursed to sleep / right before bed for 2 years so it was kind of unavoidable. He could put her to bed if I was not home for bedtime but that was a rare occasion. The bigger issue really was that I had to do all the MOTN wake-ups too. We stopped nursing to sleep /fully night-weaned by him taking over bedtime and all MOTN wake-ups at about age 2. Now we split bedtime in 2 and switch off who does the end, she goes to bed fine for both of us. </p> <p>About to welcome number LO2 and mentally prepared for the same thing to occur. It was tough for me to always have to do bedtime and wake-ups but now that we will have two I don't think it will feel as "unfair." And I kind of just believe that for the first year of life it is pretty hard biologically to have things be "even" between mom and dad (doesn't mean dad can't put baby to bed but having that mindset helps me go less crazy). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805538 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 08:19:33 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2805538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This wasn’t an issue for us. I didn’t nurse to sleep. We nurses or gave a bottle at bedtime and then did one more thing even if it was small like changing positions before sleeping. In those first six weeks nap and bedtime handling was pretty even.</p> <p>I handle most bedtimes because I am home more and DH has learned finally that a sleep cue for LO is lights out. LO is almost two. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805534 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 07:30:32 +0000 SweetiePie 2805534@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH has always been able to put our 3.5yo down. I just made sure it happened from the beginning. But I don’t BF so that probably helps a lot.<br /> DS2 is only 6 days old so that is TBD :silly: </p> <p>I think at 12 weeks though all is not lost. I would have him continue to try every night, making sure he follows the exact routine you do. It might be painful but if you swoop in and rescue every time it will be a fruitless effort. And it will be well worth it when he, or anybody else, can put LO to bed! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805530 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 01:08:12 +0000 birdofafeather 2805530@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>yep, but it takes time if baby hasn't spent time with DH. you have had lots of practice getting the baby to sleep, but if you don't let DH flex that muscle, it gets weak. i had to let DH struggle (like i did many times before that!) to let him find his own soothing methods. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805528 Thu, 22 Feb 2018 00:14:41 +0000 peaches1038 2805528@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, DH has been able to put DS to bed since he was 12 weeks old and I returned to work. I had to work until 730pm one day/week and DH put him to bed before I got home. I usually nursed to sleep too, so it was extra hard. He would give him a bottle of breast milk and then rock him to sleep at that age. I will say that he never put him to bed if I was home until after I stopped nursing at 20 months. DS is now 27 months and while he still prefers me to put him to bed, he is fine with DH doing it a few times per week. DH says to tell him to hang in there and it’ll get better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805505 Wed, 21 Feb 2018 21:46:15 +0000 Pollywog 2805505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband can't put my 2 year old down easily. What I do is leave and let them figure their routine out. They do things completely differently and there were a lot of tears in the beginning, but they found their groove eventually </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/could-your-so-get-baby-to-bed-at-night#post-2805494 Wed, 21 Feb 2018 21:25:33 +0000 Tanjowen 2805494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So apparently I am the only one that can get our 12 week old to go to sleep at night. It was painful with DH trying tonight and after listening to all the screaming, I took over and LO passed out as soon as I took him. </p> <p>DH keeps asking if it's him, but pretty sure it's just a comfort thing with mom that will get better with time. Also, I am the main caretaker (DH leaves town for work several days at a time) and we have a good routine going at night.</p> <p>If you had this situation, at what point could your SO put the baby to bed on their own? Any tricks for him to try that don't involve baby screaming? Our first LO was a super sleepy baby and anybody could put him to bed if you did his routine - this new little guy is super alert and fights sleep, so it's a whole different ballgame. </p>