https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Apr 2026 23:02:11 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crunchy-assvice#post-2206660 Fri, 12 Jun 2015 11:00:12 +0000 Mama Bird 2206660@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for the suggestions everyone! I'll try talking to her, because this just cannot continue. Might try to just steer the conversation to other topics, but since this is her favorite thing, I'll be doing a lot of steering away!</p> <p>@Anagram: that sounds awful! It was really unprofessional of her to force her opinions on you, and you were kind of a captive audience... glad you were able to keep your cool!</p> <p>@mrbee: @Mrs. Coral: @looch: haha I'm tempted to go crazy on her, but I don't know if DH will understand! He's much nicer than I am about putting up with people who are lonely and bored. Maybe I'll warn him first :grin: </p> <p>@Cole: that's such a funny suggestion! I guess if all else fails...</p> <p>@Truth Bombs: @blackbird: She's a beach regular. I would never even walk up to her, but she must keep one eye out for us at all times, and just runs right over! I was so relieved not to see her all last week, I thought maybe she moved, but here she was yesterday, with promises to see us a lot this season :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crunchy-assvice#post-2206650 Fri, 12 Jun 2015 10:50:13 +0000 yoursilverlining 2206650@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agree with @Truhbombs. I've used the line "this conversation is over" followed by walking away/ignoring several times. It works; both on people who don't know they are being assholes and on people who know exactly what they are doing and need a bit of a reminder. Bullies like this generally back off quickly when you stand up for yourself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crunchy-assvice#post-2206630 Fri, 12 Jun 2015 10:39:43 +0000 catomd00 2206630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it is going to continue to bother you, I would just tell her you aren't interested in interacting with her anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crunchy-assvice#post-2206524 Fri, 12 Jun 2015 09:32:34 +0000 looch 2206524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haha, I'd go totally batshit crazy. I would hate to do it in front of my kid because it would probably freak him out, but man, that would be satisfying. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crunchy-assvice#post-2206522 Fri, 12 Jun 2015 09:30:59 +0000 hellobeeboston 2206522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm generally passive but this is SO annoying. It's your beach too! I would tell her you aren't interested in her opinions and to keep them to herself. I would definitely confront her. Ugh! I'm annoyed for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crunchy-assvice#post-2206502 Fri, 12 Jun 2015 09:09:30 +0000 Keybee 2206502@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm passive, so I would find a new spot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crunchy-assvice#post-2206499 Fri, 12 Jun 2015 09:08:36 +0000 blackbird 2206499@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Who is this lady? Random person? Neighbor? I would just tell her I don't appreciate her woo advice and to please leave us be </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crunchy-assvice#post-2206465 Fri, 12 Jun 2015 08:40:09 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2206465@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I still consider her as a stranger, I would tell her how I don't particularly appreciate her condensing tone and ridiculous advice. I'd ask for her stop talking to us. I don't know what the heck happened to me, but I can't stand for that ish from strangers. </p> <p>However, if she isn't a stranger anymore, we'd probably just move to another side of the beach :grin: :bummed:</p> <p>Eta: If my side of the beach is next to my house, then I'd talk to her no matter what. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crunchy-assvice#post-2206454 Fri, 12 Jun 2015 08:33:39 +0000 avivoca 2206454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout has a really good suggestion. I'm not confrontational at all, so this is how I would handle it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crunchy-assvice#post-2206448 Fri, 12 Jun 2015 08:31:58 +0000 kiddosc 2206448@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you just need to put your big girl panties on and tell the woman that you appreciate her trying to help, but you don't appreciate being criticized. You come to the beach to have fun with your family and she's ruining that. </p> <p>It's hard to be confrontational, but you can do it in a polite way and hopefully she'll just stop. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crunchy-assvice#post-2206445 Fri, 12 Jun 2015 08:29:48 +0000 Smurfette 2206445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am with @Truth Bombs: on this way. You shouldn't have to move cause of one lady that thinks she can just give you advice on how to raise your child. Just tell her that you parent differently so you really don't want to hear her advice on garlic healing your child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crunchy-assvice#post-2206439 Fri, 12 Jun 2015 08:27:51 +0000 mrbee 2206439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I like @Maysprout: 's idea, nice wording too!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crunchy-assvice#post-2206435 Fri, 12 Jun 2015 08:25:45 +0000 Maysprout 2206435@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think sharing ideas is normal but don't be afraid to share yours - even if it's just that you treat the beach as your place to relax so you don't want to discuss work and sickness now. If she's offended that you have different ideas than her that's not on you. Just be friendly but assertive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crunchy-assvice#post-2206428 Fri, 12 Jun 2015 08:21:18 +0000 Mrs. Coral 2206428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Pshh. Go bat shit crazy on her so you can enjoy your beach time in peace. Warn DH first. </p> <p>I like @Cole: 's suggestion too...if you can't beat her, join her. Your luck would be she'd want to be your friend then. </p> <p>What a nut. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crunchy-assvice#post-2206427 Fri, 12 Jun 2015 08:20:30 +0000 MoonMoon 2206427@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no advice but she sounds like a tool!</p> <p>I'm mainly commenting to say how much I love the phrase crunchy assvice! Lol :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crunchy-assvice#post-2206422 Fri, 12 Jun 2015 08:16:55 +0000 Truth Bombs 2206422@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't understand why you keep interacting with her at all? She's not family. You have no obligation to speak to her or be nice to her. Just tell her you don't appreciate the way she speaks to you and you are not interested in continuing to interact with her at all. And walk away. End of story. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crunchy-assvice#post-2206421 Fri, 12 Jun 2015 08:16:47 +0000 Cole 2206421@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That would drive me insane too! I am totally not a confrontational person so I would almost consider telling her something absurd like you took him to a healer and now there are no more ear infections so you don't need any more advice! In reality though, I would probably move. I might even be so bold as to get up and leave or move to a new spot if she plunks down nearby until she gets the hint. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crunchy-assvice#post-2206410 Fri, 12 Jun 2015 08:09:28 +0000 Anagram 2206410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: I would practice what I'm going to say ahead of time and then just fine a firm but still polite way to tell her what you told us. "Marie, can we table the discussion about antibiotics? We're going to have to agree to disagree about this and I'd rather not keep talking about it".</p> <p>I was in a similar situation when LO was a newborn--LO was born with a tight jaw, so she needed therapy....but the only therapist who does this stuff on infants in town is this super hippy-dippy homeopathic-touting woman--which, whatever, to each their own. But on EVERY SINGLE VISIT, she would make disparaging comments about pediatricians, start giving me advice about vaccinations (not any of her business at all), start telling me which homeopathic remedies to go buy for the sty I had (I'd already been to an eye doctor and was doing what they told me). It was super frustrating because she was VERY VOCAL and opinionated. Eventually I had to tell her firmly that we were just going to have to agree to disagree. It put a strain on the sessions, but luckily by then we were pretty much done.</p> <p>Why can't people just keep their opnions to themselves. grrr. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crunchy-assvice#post-2206399 Fri, 12 Jun 2015 07:57:05 +0000 mrbee 2206399@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: I would just go to the other side of the beach. It's hopeless with people like that, and so aggravating! Unless you're willing to risk going full crazy on her, to see if that moves her down the beach. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/crunchy-assvice#post-2206390 Fri, 12 Jun 2015 07:48:12 +0000 Mama Bird 2206390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So we've lived next to a beach for a few years, and we spend a lot of time there in the summer. And there's this woman who just won't leave us alone! She lives really far, but somehow makes time to go to the beach every day. And when she sees us, she pounces with the advice.</p> <p>Last summer DH made the mistake of telling her how B keeps having ear infections, and has been on antibiotics way too often. Now every time we see her, she goes on about how we should never give antibiotics because we're "killing" our child, and how we should just give him herbs and garlic, and how she made her daughter "tough out" all the illnesses when she was a baby.</p> <p>She's incredibly condescending on top of that, and won't bother to learn our names even though we know hers. She just calls us mama and papa, as in "mama, listen, take a clove of garlic and stick it in his ear..."</p> <p>I'm so not happy about the antibiotics myself, and I did wait out several infections when it looked like DS would get better on his own. And of course we're trying to boost his immunity every way we can. But sit around and refuse to treat him when he's running a fever and it's messing with his hearing? Just so I can brag what a good mom I am because I never feed my kid antibiotics? It makes me see red to hear this over and over.</p> <p>She's always in front of our house, and this doesn't bother DH enough to move to another side of the beach. I could just smile and brush this off if it didn't happen so often, but having every beach trip ruined like this is not good. I'm stressed enough dealing with crazy clients at work, and I'm afraid one day I'll snap and be really rude, and then she won't go away anyway and will start making snide comments to DH about how his wife is a little high strung when I'm not around, and it'll be really awkward. </p> <p>Vent over :silly: Any suggestions for shutting these conversations down fast? </p>