https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 07 Apr 2026 13:53:57 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dad-dating-aunt#post-103512 Tue, 27 Mar 2012 23:49:30 +0000 cupcakemama 103512@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess I am coming from a different perspective as I have also lost a parent. It's really hard. Tbh I would have struggled with my mum starting to date ANYONE that soon after my Dad died. It's not that I wanted her to be alone but that I would have struggled big time with her replacing my dad that quickly ( or at all). Afterall, I didn't get to replace my Dad.</p> <p> It's not logical or fair. Losing a parent is probably the hardest thing I have ever gone through and until you go through it you really do not understand the depth and complexity of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dad-dating-aunt#post-103494 Tue, 27 Mar 2012 22:46:34 +0000 MsMini 103494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It is an awkward situation overall, but I think it is really normal for your Dad to be seeking comfort/companionship at this point in time, and I hope that you guys can keep some kind of relationship, given the way you feel about the situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dad-dating-aunt#post-103441 Tue, 27 Mar 2012 21:06:50 +0000 oliviaoblivia 103441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother.<br /> I'm sure her death has amplified emotions here. To be honest I think you are being a bit rough on your Dad. It is a really awkward situation, only made more so by the pre-existing behaviors of your Aunt. Your Dad is an adult and deserves to find his happiness. </p> <p>On a side note, we have a family friend that married her sister's ex-husband and then 19 years later he left her for her sister (1st wife). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dad-dating-aunt#post-103427 Tue, 27 Mar 2012 20:50:27 +0000 tequiero21 103427@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Migena: is he religious? I think they did that in the old testament lol... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dad-dating-aunt#post-103317 Tue, 27 Mar 2012 18:18:22 +0000 Migena 103317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I actually have a creepier one in my family, well, inlaws. My DH's grandpa married THREE sisters, one after the other. One died, he married the second. That one died, he married the third.<br /> I do think its very weird, especially for the rest of the family. How awkward!<br /> Sorry you have to go through this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dad-dating-aunt#post-103122 Tue, 27 Mar 2012 14:41:14 +0000 volksgirl64 103122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira - no, she would not have been invited to any of these thing prior. </p> <p>I think the word ban is a little strong. I said that I wasn't comfortable with her attending events that my mom would have been present at. I said that I miss Mom too much. </p> <p>I did also say that I don't like the relationship and I'm not ready to see him like that. </p> <p>I didn't say anything like she's a horrible person or I'll never speak to him again, but I felt like he deserves to know.</p> <p>My dad and I have never been close, we never talk about anything deep. I'm his only girl and I think he never knew how to bond with me so we've never had a great relationship. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dad-dating-aunt#post-103092 Tue, 27 Mar 2012 14:17:11 +0000 Adira 103092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Isn't this what happened on Justified with Raylan's dad???</p> <p>I'm so sorry for your loss and that you have to deal with this too! That's definitely bizarre to me! But I've heard that guys have trouble being on the own after having depended on someone for so long, so they tend to move on more quickly than women do. Not sure if that's true, but it sounds kind of like what's happening with your dad.</p> <p>If your aunt WASN'T in a relationship with your dad, would you invite/allow her to come to your events? If so, then you probably shouldn't not allow her just because of their relationship, since they're probably just going to do it anyway. But if she's the kind of person you don't want to have around your child, then definitely stick to your ground! Good luck to you! Hopefully your dad comes clean about what's going on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dad-dating-aunt#post-103083 Tue, 27 Mar 2012 14:11:46 +0000 MamaMoose 103083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can absolutely understand why you are uncomfortable with the relationship. But I don't think you handled it in the right way. First of all, I would have spoken to your dad in person or at least on the phone rather than sending a note. And secondly, I would have chosen different words. I think it's totally fine for you to voice your concerns for your father. Like you think that given her history being in a relationship with her might not be the best thing for him, or asking him to think about whether he really feels strongly for this woman, or if he's just seeking an easy replacement for the loss of your mom. But I don't think banning your own aunt from your family gatherings was the best way to get your point across. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dad-dating-aunt#post-103065 Tue, 27 Mar 2012 13:46:03 +0000 tequiero21 103065@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>honestly, i do find it a bit gross. especially since i don't see my bil in that way and i'd never do that (ew).... and i would definitely be uncomfy if my dad dated one of my aunts (ew).... but she is your mom's sister - she's family. and they both (your aunt and your dad) must have taken the death really hard and may have just bonded through this rough time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dad-dating-aunt#post-103050 Tue, 27 Mar 2012 13:30:44 +0000 autumnlove 103050@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep, a family friend is in a similar situation and he just married his deceased wife's little sister...two years after his wife passed away. His kids are definitely having a hard time with everything so they don't have much of a relationship. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dad-dating-aunt#post-103022 Tue, 27 Mar 2012 13:06:40 +0000 mamimami 103022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this sucks and I would definitely be upset. This has definitely NOT happened to me. </p> <p>Having said that, in our adult lives, many of us are confronted with unwelcome evidence that are parents are, in fact, just regular people. They can make some not-awesome decisions, not know how to deal, etc. </p> <p>I would encourage you to focus on the things you do value about your dad as a DAD, not as a husband to your late mom. Try to accept him for who he is. I think if that happens, the rest will work itself out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dad-dating-aunt#post-102951 Tue, 27 Mar 2012 12:14:09 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 102951@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This exact scenario happened to a friend of mine in college. It was incredibly hard for him to come to terms with, but he did realize that after warning his dad, there wasn't a single other thing that he could do about it. I'm sorry you are having to go through this. I actually do know how hard it is after seeing a friend go through it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dad-dating-aunt#post-102947 Tue, 27 Mar 2012 12:11:08 +0000 Crisark 102947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can understand your hurt.<br /> But, at the same time, this is your aunt. And your father is grown and can decide how to live his life even if it's uncomfortable.<br /> He probably hasn't said anything because he's not sure how anyone will react and he's still probably not sure how he feelings as it's only been a year.<br /> I don't think banning your own aunt from family gatherings is going to get you very far but it's really all up to you.<br /> I still completely understand your point of view but I think maybe you should try to actually talk to your dad about it.<br /> That's just my opinion. Good Luck with it all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dad-dating-aunt#post-102594 Tue, 27 Mar 2012 08:34:25 +0000 Mrsbells 102594@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be uncomfortable with this as well,but she is your moms sister so its hard to just ban her from coming to any events. That wont stop them from carrying on their relationship. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dad-dating-aunt#post-102587 Tue, 27 Mar 2012 08:25:30 +0000 heffalump 102587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry about your mom, and that you have to go through this. That must be so awkward and uncomfortable for you! I would call your dad and see if he got your note. Chances are it's awkward for him to talk about it so he's just ignoring it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dad-dating-aunt#post-102580 Tue, 27 Mar 2012 08:20:35 +0000 chopsuey 102580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dang! Are you close to your aunt? All the older men I know who've lost their wives ended up remarried within a year. I think men in general have a difficult time coping when they've lost their wives..<br /> I'd be really uncomfortable with this relationship if I were you too.. :( Would probably react the same way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dad-dating-aunt#post-102567 Tue, 27 Mar 2012 08:09:23 +0000 volksgirl64 102567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ok, so this is really getting to me now and I was wondering if this is more common that I thought.</p> <p>My mom passed away last year after a battle with cancer and we are still kind of reeling from it. We knew it didn't look good but it all kind of happened so quickly that we weren't really prepared, though are you really ever?</p> <p>Anyway, her sister had been going over and helping to take care of things around the house and continued to do so after she passed. My mom was a packrat and it was a lot for my dad to handle so it was nice of her to do. But then it started to turn into something else. We noticed that they always showed up to family things together and that she was ALWAYS at the house and she started saying things like, "We do this" and "We don't have that". Always with the we.</p> <p>I tried to ignore it and that worked for a while but now she's losing her house and she's going to be moving in with him in a few months. Basically 1 year after my mom passed. And he's never spoken to us about it, just casually mentioned that she was moving out of her house and implying that she was going to live with him now. And it's obvious that they're in a relationship.</p> <p>I am uncomfortable with this relationship for all the obvious reasons, but also because she has problems with alcohol and has no relationship with any of her 7 children and doesn't see a problem with that. She's a one of those people who's always a victim/martyr. </p> <p>I feel like he doesn't deserve that after everything with my mom but on the other hand, he's a grown man so he can make his decisions.</p> <p>Anyway, this is a long post to say that after stressing for over a week I finally sent him a note yesterday saying that I don't want him bringing her to my daughter's b-day party this weekend and she isn't invited to any event that I'm hosting. And I haven't heard back from him and it's completely stressing me out.</p> <p>Aside from her issues, are there other families where aunts &amp; uncles start dating? I mean, they have known eachother for 35 years or so. </p>