https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 01 May 2026 20:22:21 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-biting-what-would-you-do#post-2198102 Wed, 03 Jun 2015 15:13:44 +0000 PurplePeony 2198102@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gilmoregirl: it sucks, doesn't it? One of the annoying things is that we'll have a couple weeks in a row with no issues, but just when we think we're safe it always seems to happen again. :sad: I know the teachers are trying, but there just aren't enough of them to pounce every time a kid gets it in his or her head to bite. I think this is what bothers my DH the most -- he thinks they're understaffed and aren't able to cope with the kids -- but our daycare actually maintains a better ratio than the state requires so it's not like it would be better elsewhere. And like a PP said, it still happened on occasion when she only had two LOs to watch.</p> <p>@turkeylurkey: I know, and it's actually my biggest fear about the biting that's going on now. I don't want DD to learn that she can bite back or to start biting other kids. So far, she hasn't, but I know that could change at any moment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-biting-what-would-you-do#post-2198075 Wed, 03 Jun 2015 14:50:14 +0000 turkeylurkey 2198075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DON'T make a big stink about it because we had this problem and then it became our turn. I was thankful that the daycare worked with us on this. I too was upset when it was happening to DS but I waited it out and they moved my son up to the next class and it stopped. Then a new kid came into his class about a month or so later. My DS started biting this little boy. I did ask questions trying to figure out when was my son biting. Was it over a toy or food? What was going on? I quickly learned who he was biting and I figured out why. This little boy every morning would run up to us when we dropped off and he would push my son down. So it was my sons' way of defending himself. They worked with both of them and now it isn't happening. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-biting-what-would-you-do#post-2197693 Wed, 03 Jun 2015 09:52:26 +0000 gilmoregirl 2197693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePeony: sorry you're in this situation too. My son hasn't been bitten in a week so I'm feeling better right now. The teachers really are working hard to help everyone, so I'm comfortable with our situation for now. Hope you can get a positive resolution, however that looks.</p> <p> @ALV91711: this is absolutely why I'm sympathetic to the other mom...I'd be upset if my son bit another kid, and he's still at the age when it could happen. My son is still too young to understand, but I try to talk to him about it some. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-biting-what-would-you-do#post-2197432 Wed, 03 Jun 2015 06:27:10 +0000 ALV91711 2197432@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are now on the other end and have a biter on our hands. DS is 26 months and bit another girl in his daycare yesterday. I feel really bad that he did this. So now we are talking to him about not biting his friends and what will happen if he does it again. </p> <p>I hope that your DS doesn't get bitten again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-biting-what-would-you-do#post-2197418 Wed, 03 Jun 2015 05:31:09 +0000 hellobeeboston 2197418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>this happened at my son's daycare at right around the exact same age, all of the kids were 13/14 months.... and unfortunately he learned how to bit from the others and came home with bruises and was "the biter" a few times :(</p> <p>We spoke with the teachers and asked their plan, they had a pretty strict punishment for it and said they try to nip this in the bud fast - the biting ended up lasting a few weeks then it seemed to pass. We were also very strict with LO when he tried to bite us, and we had a book about not biting your friends.</p> <p>It was a pretty quick phase - i'd make sure the teachers are addressing it (I'm sure they are) and wait for it to pass. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-biting-what-would-you-do#post-2197334 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 22:30:31 +0000 PurplePeony 2197334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm at my wit's end about my 18-mo DD getting bitten. Today was the seventh time (possibly eighth but one time, they weren't sure if anything had happened and there was no mark, but she was crying and rubbing her arm) since February. We've talked to the teachers and the director and been assured that they're making all kinds of adjustments to try to prevent it, but it still keeps happening. I don't think all seven have been the same kid, but at least 4-5 have. Fortunately, none have broken the skin and she's only had a bruise for a couple days, at the most. My DH is absolutely livid, though. I don't know what our options are -- DD loves it there and I don't think it would be fair to her to move her, and the reality is that even if we wanted to switch, the daycare situation around here is impossible and we likely wouldn't get a spot at another good one for 6+ months, by which time the biting should hopefully be a nonissue. The daycare doesn't kick kids out for biting at this age, since it's "developmentally normal but certainly undesirable." Apparently DD isn't instigating or being targeted, she's just been unlucky. Right now, though, I don't know how to handle either daycare or DH. I think they need to do more to prevent biting but I'm not there and don't see it, so I don't know what...and in trying to talk DH down off the ledge, I think I made him even madder, he's like an angry papa hornet right now. Ugh. Just had to get this off my chest. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-biting-what-would-you-do#post-2191193 Wed, 27 May 2015 21:16:18 +0000 travelgirl1 2191193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not a daycare situation but I nannied for another little girl alongside my daughter last year. Both went through the biting phase. My kid started it, and the other girl's mum was very, very good about it, even though it was obviously hard for her. It was interesting/stressful to me watching both girls do it, and to see how many attempted bites there were in a day. Like, I could stop ten attempted bites but miss one. Anyway, both girls got over it, but what I think helped us as parents was communication over what was happening and what to try next. If your daycare teachers are being open and you trust them, I would give it a bit longer, although maybe someone to shadow the biter is a good idea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-biting-what-would-you-do#post-2191179 Wed, 27 May 2015 21:02:29 +0000 catomd00 2191179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was pissed the first time my daughter got bit but only because it's a class of 4 (with 2 teachers) two of them are known biters and neither teacher saw it! I try to be patient and empathetic because it must really suck to be the parent of the biter! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-biting-what-would-you-do#post-2191108 Wed, 27 May 2015 20:08:35 +0000 Lilbear 2191108@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would speak with the director and ask about a shadow for the biter. My daughter was repeatedly bitten by a classmate, and after the fourth attack (which involved scratches and bites - clear negligence on the teacher's part, because they didn't see it or intervene despite evidence of a lengthy attack) she has received scars on her face that still haven't completely healed. This happened at the end of October, so she has been scarred for over 7 months. We switched her classroom and things have been much better.</p> <p>If the kid is a known biter, the teachers should be keeping an extra eye out. If they can't, there must be a shadow in the room. If those two things don't work/happen, this student should be asked to leave. </p> <p>Biting happens, but it shouldn't keep happening or be severe. That isn't fair to the other kids in the class. The biggest responsibility falls on the teachers to keep the kids safe. In my daughter's new room, she has been bitten twice, but the teachers literally pulled her arm out of another kid's mouth mid-bite. Huge huge improvement over how severe it was in her old classroom. 7+ months of scars on her face is a big problem and I would hate for anyone else to experience that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-biting-what-would-you-do#post-2191091 Wed, 27 May 2015 19:53:57 +0000 gilmoregirl 2191091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@getjazzy: Thanks! I was feeling pretty ok with it (they're toddlers, it happens, my kid is not 100% innocent here either -- he will fight for a toy if it gets snatched from him) but when I mentioned the bites to a couple of my coworkers, they were totally appalled. So I got a little concerned that I was under reacting. I trust his teachers though, and it helps to hear some others shrug it off a bit :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-biting-what-would-you-do#post-2191087 Wed, 27 May 2015 19:48:58 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2191087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gilmoregirl: I would ask to sit down and discuss a formal plan for how they handle these situations...what is the teachers role in prevention, what is the consequence for this behavior, and so on. They should have some sort of official way of handling things. </p> <p>It is totally normal and developmentally appropriate. It stinks because it leaves such a clear mark, where some aggression is less obvious (pushing, for example). Prevention is really the best way to handle it, especially with kiddos this young. </p> <p>I wrote this post a while back. I was a toddler teacher and dealt with this a LOT. I hope you get some answers soon from the center!</p> <p><a href="http://www.hellobee.com/2013/10/29/dealing-with-toddlers-who-bite/" rel="nofollow">http://www.hellobee.com/2013/10/29/dealing-with-toddlers-who-bite/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-biting-what-would-you-do#post-2191084 Wed, 27 May 2015 19:46:19 +0000 getjazzy 2191084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Although at 13 months it's still young to understand all that. I would say my little guy started understanding around 16-18 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-biting-what-would-you-do#post-2191082 Wed, 27 May 2015 19:44:50 +0000 getjazzy 2191082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My child got bit too for a few weeks and then the phase passed. It made me upset because I wanted to protect him but realistically, they will all do it at some point especially since they learn it from each other. They always reported it to me and had me sign off on the incident reports and I know they correct/redirect and have the children apologize to the other and explain why it isn't nice. </p> <p>Low and behold, soon after my kid threw a toy and split his buddy's lip open. I'm friends with his mom and I saw her and apologized for him and she (has 3 kids) was like "oh god, don't even worry. My kid hit another with a xylophone last week. It happens". </p> <p>I definitely think it's a part of normal development of social skills, hurting someone, seeing them hurt and feeling bad for it, comforting/apologizing after etc... </p> <p>As long as teachers are supervising properly and trying to prevent, I would try not to worry. I always try and make it a discussion at home, when he's hurt someone or been hurt so he can talk about how it feels and why it's wrong. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-biting-what-would-you-do#post-2191081 Wed, 27 May 2015 19:43:47 +0000 gilmoregirl 2191081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: Other kids too. So I think it's been some pretty frequent biting. I'll have to ask about shadowing. I think that would help because with my son, at least, it's been the same situation repeatedly (they fight over a toy and my kid gets bit.)</p> <p>@Mrs. Lion: Thanks. The parent handbook kind of glosses over it -- they try their best but can't avoid every bite, scrape, etc. but I think I'd feel better if there were a more formal plan at this point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-biting-what-would-you-do#post-2191077 Wed, 27 May 2015 19:38:26 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2191077@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If your center is handling it according to their policies, I would just wait it out. It is unfortunate, but it will pass. As long as you are confident that the center is doing everything they can, I would just try to be patient. </p> <p>If you don't feel like they are doing all they can, I would ask the director to sit down and talk about how you can problem solve together to come up with a solution. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-biting-what-would-you-do#post-2191075 Wed, 27 May 2015 19:36:21 +0000 Truth Bombs 2191075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would want more info. Is the child biting other kids too or just your child? If it's only your child I would expect the teachers to keep them separated. If the biter is biting lots of kids that means there are a lot more than three bites in two weeks... If this kid is biting daily or close to it I would ask that that an additional adult be added to the room to shadow the biter until the behavior calms down. I have had my LO be the biter and the bitten and both suck. But she really only bites when she has been bitten by someone else within the last 48 hours. When my LO was your LO's age we actually had a family that was asked to leave our day care because the little boy just would not stop biting. Multiple times a day, every day. Daycare just wasn't the right environment for him. But in general, most kids do grow out of the phase! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-biting-what-would-you-do#post-2191071 Wed, 27 May 2015 19:31:59 +0000 gilmoregirl 2191071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is 13 months and has been bitten 3 times in the past 2ish weeks. All three bites broke the skin and left bruises. The mom of the baby who bites has been notified too (and I totally have sympathy for her, because I know she is stressed about it), and the teachers have talked to me about each incident...but I'm still left feeling kind of bummed about the situation and not really sure how I should feel about it. </p> <p>What would you expect from your LO's daycare? How have you handled toddler bites, as either the biter or the bitee? </p>