https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 07 Apr 2026 14:28:36 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-drama-wwyd#post-2773387 Thu, 14 Sep 2017 10:41:28 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2773387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@psw27: glad you have a plan in place! It sounds like you're doing all the right things. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-drama-wwyd#post-2773357 Thu, 14 Sep 2017 09:08:54 +0000 psw27 2773357@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: It went okay... I won't say I walked away from the conversation completely happy but I feel like I was able to flush out the situation a bit more. </p> <p>She back pedaled a bit and was saying that she is in the "getting to know you" phase with my son. We talked about strategies that do and do not work with my son (timers, transitions, etc.) We also made it very clear that we want our son to be included in the class, treated like the other kids and if he is unable to do that then we want to be told so we can work on new strategies. She seemed receptive and my husband and I left feeling a bit better. She also said she would be talking with his previous teachers about what worked for him, so I think that will help as well. (And seems like something the school should have the teachers do regardless of the student...)</p> <p>We plan to check in with her on a weekly basis either in person or via email to see what is working and what isn't working for our son. I think there is also a bit of a personality clash between she and I so I'm learning not to read into her comments as much - she's just not a super warm and fuzzy person. Thankfully, there are 2 other teachers in the class that my son seems to have bonded with. </p> <p>So as of now, its a bit of a wait and see and reassess as they get to know each other. </p> <p>TLDR: I think things are a little better.... but I'm still going to watching like a hawk. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-drama-wwyd#post-2773057 Tue, 12 Sep 2017 19:35:40 +0000 Mae 2773057@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@psw27: how'd it go? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-drama-wwyd#post-2773031 Tue, 12 Sep 2017 16:31:54 +0000 youboots 2773031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'll be honest. I don't like field trips prior to elementary school- even then I'll probably be the parent to go to every one because my kid is also a little wild and has problems following instructions and will run off. Totally just a random thought. </p> <p>That said, you are paying for a service and should be treated with respect. I think you should have a formal sit down with the teacher. If that does not go well then speak to the director. To me I think this is normal kid behavior. I set firm boundaries with my kid and use natural consequences- today we left a play date because she kept climbing up a slide while smiling at me and did not care that we left. I'm a good parent to my kid- but this is just her age and personality. And she has a ton of amazing qualities- she's friendly and wants to talk to every stranger, she's kind to other children, she's gentle with babies and animals, her language is outstanding. But just because she's spirited I don't expect passive aggressive behavior from teachers at school. It's clear she has warm relationships and she adore her- she goes about 16 hours a week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-drama-wwyd#post-2773026 Tue, 12 Sep 2017 16:18:26 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2773026@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only reason I would talk to the teacher first is to be more informed about the classroom before bringing it up to the director. This way you get an honest look at how the teacher is handling it currently and can compare the changes when the director gets involved. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-drama-wwyd#post-2773016 Tue, 12 Sep 2017 15:49:32 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2773016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Im not exactly sure how I would go about it but I will say it'd make me nervous that she seems so challenged when his old teacher/s had everything down ok and his behavior sounds normal for his age from what I'm reading here. Maybe it's as simple as her sense of humor (which you might be able to sense tonight) but that makes me nervous. I can understand why she might feel that way about the field trip particularly, but I think to imply he can't go if you don't go is taking it too far as this IS daycare. I guess I'd want to feel it out a little more tonight and see how she talks about the other children too before proceeding. I wouldn't want to go straight to making a big deal bc I would want to start the relationship off by being honest and direct (but still respectful) with her. I also wouldn't want her to lie and say everything's fine if it's not (maybe bc I'm paranoid though).. what a tough spot to be in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-drama-wwyd#post-2773008 Tue, 12 Sep 2017 15:34:18 +0000 daniellemybelle 2773008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you should trust your gut if you are getting the impression she doesn't like your son. Often I think we as parents tell ourselves we must be "too sensitive" and force ourselves to overlook things. My daughter just started a new preschool and the difference in how her teacher behaves toward her, and how she feels toward her teacher and school in general, is so stark! And she is still a very active, spirited kid so that is not what changed. What changed is that she now has a teacher who is patient, experienced and understands how to work with all different kinds of kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-drama-wwyd#post-2773005 Tue, 12 Sep 2017 15:16:12 +0000 Mae 2773005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@psw27: good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-drama-wwyd#post-2773004 Tue, 12 Sep 2017 15:13:49 +0000 psw27 2773004@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: Last week I definitely tried to brush off the comments as a joke. But now I'm sensing there is more to it... like she's annoyed she has to deal with him or something. He's not even that bad... He doesn't hit or bite or scream or anything, he's just very active. Tonight will be very telling! My husband has no problem being super direct, so we will find out her true feelings! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-drama-wwyd#post-2773002 Tue, 12 Sep 2017 15:04:14 +0000 Mae 2773002@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would definitely want to talk to the director, and then probably the director and the teacher together in a planned conference. Saying "he had a rough day because x" is fine. Saying "I'm struggling with X with your son, could we try...?" is fine. But it sounds like she's just really negative about him. If I came to pick up and my daughter's teacher said "well we didn't lose her" as though that's an adequate summary of her day (and she wasn't joking) I'd be pissed. She needs to work on how she communicates with parents. And if she has a problem with your kid you two need to talk about it. My kid is wild and within a week at her new preschool I had definitely heard from her teachers "wow she has a LOT of energy!" but it wasn't said negatively. It was said with a laugh and I see them being affectionate with her and it's fine if they think she's a handful, as long as they're also being nice to her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-drama-wwyd#post-2773000 Tue, 12 Sep 2017 14:58:26 +0000 psw27 2773000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: That was my husband's perspective - he's like so if something comes up with work can our son not attend school that day because they have 6 adults with 18 three year olds? That's not our problem. So yeah, we will definitely be having a discussion with the teacher tonight and probably the director at some point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-drama-wwyd#post-2772998 Tue, 12 Sep 2017 14:54:24 +0000 ShootingStar 2772998@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would definitely loop in the director. From my perspective, I am a working mom. I have a demanding job, as does my husband, and that's why we send our kids to daycare. My 3.5 year old son is very energetic and a bit of a handful, but I don't think it's anything that's inappropriate for his age. I would be really unhappy if daycare planned a trip that included his age group, but wasn't really age appropriate for the range of normal. </p> <p>Daycare workers are paid to take care of our kids. They shouldn't need parents present in order to do that. So the director and teacher would absolutely need to know my position on it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-drama-wwyd#post-2772986 Tue, 12 Sep 2017 14:17:38 +0000 psw27 2772986@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I completely agree with you that if she has a genuine safety concern, I am 100% happy to have her discuss it with me. I want him to be safe and if that means I need to go, I would never argue with that. </p> <p>@FaithFertility: My irritation definitely comes from how it was presented to me - I was in the middle of drop off, my son was clinging to my leg cause there were lots of new kids arriving today and there were other parents right there. We have parent night tonight, so I would have appreciated a discussion at that time. Plus I feel like after literally having him in her class for 6 days, it seems a bit unfair to label him in any particular way. </p> <p> @Truth Bombs: I completely agree, I know how excited and energetic he can be - especially at a farm that he loves - which is part of the reason I was planning to go. I just got a sour taste in my mouth with how she presented it. I know my kid, he's very active. BUT I also know my kid, and he listens to the adults at school (way more than me, for better or worse). </p> <p>@Anagram: the delivery definitely sucked. Tonight is parent night so I think I'll bring it up with her directly again and see what we can do to make it so she understands my kid and his needs and make sure expectations are being met on both sides. </p> <p>@kiddosc: Totally true, it's not a big thing - its just advocating and I need to think of it like that. I think if things don't improve after our discussion tonight, I will go to the director and talk about plans for my kid. He doesn't need to be labeled as a problem child! </p> <p>Thanks for all of the advice ladies. I know I'm defensive of my little guy but it really rubbed me the wrong way. :meh: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-drama-wwyd#post-2772975 Tue, 12 Sep 2017 13:05:17 +0000 Anagram 2772975@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@psw27: I don't like the way the teacher has presented her "concerns" to you, if that's what she's been doing. I think I would also be kind of hurt as a parent, from the way she delivered the info.</p> <p>I'm unsure of what would be best for your kiddo though--is it better to give it a couple more weeks and see if they all adjust, or is it better to address it early? Definitely go with your gut. Your son is too young to have a teacher not like him or brand him as a difficult kid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-drama-wwyd#post-2772968 Tue, 12 Sep 2017 12:54:19 +0000 Truth Bombs 2772968@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I'll be honest my almost 2 year old is a maniac. His teacher loves him (she babysits for us regularly as well) but she will openly admit that he is far and away her wildest kid. He's sweet and doesn't really get in trouble, but he just never.stops.moving (until nap time where he sleeps longer than any other kids because he wears himself out). If our school did field trips, I would honestly feel obligated to go and keep an eye on him. When my husband and I are out with both kids we have to be sure one person is 100% focused on little man because he's quick! So, if the school asked me to come and keep an eye on him I would not feel surprised or upset. Though, I would expect it to be approached in a kind manner where they acknowledge his rambunctiousness and ask that one of us come for his safety as opposed to a mean spirited comment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-drama-wwyd#post-2772954 Tue, 12 Sep 2017 12:09:48 +0000 kiddosc 2772954@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think talking to the director is "making a big thing of it." The teacher and your son are not meshing well and I think it would be a great opportunity to come up with a plan to improve that relationship. As the director, they would be in charge of overseeing this plan. It seems really strange that that's the way the center would handle wanting a parent to accompany a specific child and I can't imagine that the director is exactly "in the loop" on what's going on specifically. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-drama-wwyd#post-2772949 Tue, 12 Sep 2017 11:52:12 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2772949@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would speak with the teacher some more and find out exactly her expectations and her experience with your son. Based on what she describes and an approach to caring for him would determine if I needed to discuss with the director. To me it sounds like she has a genuine concern for his safety regarding the field trip and that's a bit scary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-drama-wwyd#post-2772947 Tue, 12 Sep 2017 11:49:54 +0000 FaithFertility 2772947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@psw27: I think if he is a "flight risk" and is not able to be controlled by staff you need to address her and have a meeting with her and maybe the director, I wouldn't take being asked to attend a field trip lightly! I am a teacher 1st grade and I know it is not pre school but if the teacher asks this of my daughter before ever having a sit down convo with me about her behavior I would be upset! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-drama-wwyd#post-2772945 Tue, 12 Sep 2017 11:40:57 +0000 psw27 2772945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS is 3 and a very active, happy, sweet guy. Admittedly, he can be a bit hyper and not always the best listener but he does well at his school and his teachers generally like him. He's been at his current school for a year and just moved up into the preschool class last week. He doesn't always do well with new transitions, but he's handled it very well. </p> <p>However.... his new head teacher doesn't seem to like him. Every time I do a drop off or a pick up and she is there, she has something somewhat negative to say about him. Last week her assessment was "he didn't get hurt and we didn't lose him" and she summarized that as a "good day." I just laughed it off. </p> <p>Today at drop off she stopped me to ask if I would be attending a field trip next week. I said that I had volunteered to be a classroom chaperone. She clarified that she "needed one of us (me or DH) to go" with DS exclusively because she was afraid DS would run away and it's "really wide open" at the farm they going to. She pretty much implied that if I couldn't go and control him, he couldn't go on the trip. I muttered that one of us would be there and went to work. As I walked to work and now sitting here, DH and I are getting more and more upset - like the implication was that she can't handle him and we have to go or he can't go on the field trip. He is not a bad kid and I feel like she's given up on him after 6 days in her classroom. </p> <p>DH wants to make a big thing of it and get the director involved... I'm not sure what to do. WWYD? </p>