https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 26 Apr 2026 12:10:57 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2811418 Fri, 23 Mar 2018 07:11:57 +0000 periwinklebee 2811418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaCate: Thank you :heart: I think he's getting a little more used to it, and I've stayed as long as I can to observe and get more comfortable with it, and will continue to do so until I hopefully feel more comfortable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2811362 Thu, 22 Mar 2018 18:47:10 +0000 MamaCate 2811362@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: how have the last couple days gone? Thinking of you during this transition! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2811202 Thu, 22 Mar 2018 10:03:57 +0000 periwinklebee 2811202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jennlin821: @Sams Mom: Thank you so much! These are great suggestions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2811103 Wed, 21 Mar 2018 14:16:18 +0000 Sams Mom 2811103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jennlin821: Wearing it in the shirt is a great idea. I sew for a charity that makes shirts for preemies that are too small to wear any other clothes, and we also sew something called the Developmental Heart. Its basically a large heart made out of a piece of minky and flannel that moms wear in their bra and then leave them in the isolette with baby when they can't be at the NICU. It helps them a lot, so I can totally see it helping with baby adjusting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2811100 Wed, 21 Mar 2018 14:07:17 +0000 jennlin821 2811100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just wanted to chime in with another idea -<br /> I think your LO may still be too young to truly get attached to a lovey, but if you sent one with him to daycare he will have something to cuddle with that is his own. (Not during naps!!) You could even wear it under your shirt or something while you sleep so that it smells like you. </p> <p>And someone already said it but a sleep sack of some kind might help too. </p> <p>Is the daycare close enough for you to visit? Perhaps you can schedule a visit when he seems to be having the hardest time or at lunch for a quick nursing session. </p> <p>The transition is tough, but listen to you mama gut too.<br /> If it is screaming that something is really wrong then don't ignore it. </p> <p>Keep us posted, we are here for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2811097 Wed, 21 Mar 2018 14:04:12 +0000 periwinklebee 2811097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MACSUNSHINE: Thank you :heart: </p> <p>@Sams Mom: Thank you so much for sharing your story! Also, good luck with the sibling :happy: </p> <p>@2PeasinaPod: Thank you, I'm so looking forward to getting to the point where we hopefully have more of a routine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2811043 Wed, 21 Mar 2018 10:51:27 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2811043@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: Like every stage your baby goes through, it will seem REALLY hard at the time. Routine kicks in and things will get better. I'm still amazed at the things our day care does for our LOs, and even what they get them to do. DS2 is a picky eater these days, but he was eating a bowl of fruit that was full of things he refuses at home. He not only finished that bowl, but asked for seconds. All of his friends were eating it, so he ate it too! </p> <p>Transition is hard on mamas and babies... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2811042 Wed, 21 Mar 2018 10:47:43 +0000 Sams Mom 2811042@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son went to an in home daycare that was owned and operated by a friend's cousin. He started when he was 11 weeks old. I held him for most of the first 11 weeks of his life (I was THAT mom), but it seemed that he adjusted well and took naps at daycare better than he would at home. He adjusted within the first 5-7 days at daycare. </p> <p>He was fired from that daycare at 9 months because she had 2 other babies aside from the other kids she watched and he needed more one on one time than she could give him. I think there might have been other things because he was such a happy baby, but he developed faster than the other two babies ( 1 was a month older than him the other was a month younger than him) and could have been taking time from the other kids. I don't know but that is neither here nor there. </p> <p>So after he was fired I went with a babysitter (nanny), she is a family friend that has worked as a nanny for a very long time. She said she had no problems with him needing her attention every moment and could play independently (it could have been that he knew he had her attention if he needed it and wasn't jockeying against other kids). He's been with the nanny for about 15 months now and is doing fantastic! She takes him tot he park, zoo, county farm park, just to the store or whatever so that makes me feel better that he is getting interaction with other kids instead of being home with the babysitter and dog all day. We're hoping he will have a sibling soon too, so that will help too :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2811031 Wed, 21 Mar 2018 09:49:46 +0000 MACSUNSHINE 2811031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee big hugs, I am so sorry! It is the worst feeling in the world picking up that tear stained exhausted baby. More time should do the trick, we now comment to one another about how happy we are we stuck it out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2811026 Wed, 21 Mar 2018 09:41:29 +0000 periwinklebee 2811026@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: This is so good to hear - I love your story :heart: I really hope my LO will be able to bond like this with one of the teachers... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2811025 Wed, 21 Mar 2018 09:39:24 +0000 periwinklebee 2811025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yesterday when I picked him up I could see his faced stained with tears, it just broke my heart, but I know I need to give him more time to adjust :crying: </p> <p>@Bluebonnet: Thank you :heart: this is so good to hear</p> <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Thank you! My LO is such a light sleeper and reflux seemed to bother him a lot, especially before we got medicine, so we have been doing everything possible to get him to sleep at home. I'm sure this made the transition all the more abrupt... </p> <p>@MACSUNSHINE: Thank you, it is so helpful to hear these perspectives! Good luck with LO2! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2811002 Wed, 21 Mar 2018 07:38:57 +0000 MACSUNSHINE 2811002@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just wanted to say hang in there, it gets easier and be confident in your decision. My son struggled with daycare as an infant and frankly just hit his stride probably 6 months ago there, he is 2. </p> <p>I had awful days picking up an exhausted baby, he just never napped until he transitioned to the cot with consistent nap time. At the end of the day, we are so happy we stuck it out. We selected a daycare that is very much focused on independence and free movement, he has excelled. As an only child and grandchild, it has been an amazing experience for him socially.</p> <p>Like your mom, my mom always questions daycare. She stayed home with us when we were little. We have begun discussions with the grandmothers now that we are expecting baby #2, my mom is very vocal in her opinions regarding LO1. He currently attends daycare 3 days and I am considering increasing him to 4 days, she is just not supportive of it. No good reason other than she thinks it is too much, I just tune her out. That has always been my relationship with my mom, yada yada yada, ok mom ;).</p> <p>Good luck! It will get better and it does take time as others have said, for us a lot of time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2810997 Wed, 21 Mar 2018 06:39:36 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2810997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our infant room- 6 weeks old until they show signs of early crawling. The room was laid out with a built in of changing table/ food storage/ extra clothes with a rocking chair opposite that. Then toys storage available then open floor space and the cribs lined in a U-Shape around the room. The room get s great light. There are a couple high chairs near the food storage built in because some babies 4 months on get solids. My baby didn’t start that early, but for weight gain he did start solids at 5.5 months.</p> <p>My LO started at daycare at 14 weeks. While on maternity leave he visited daycare for two days, this is something they offer to prospective families. My LO didn’t love daycare at first, he was up more than usual, and cried more than usual. By the end of the first full week he was a daycare pro.</p> <p>What was similar?<br /> Naps. Except for night time sleep we didn’t change the room/ environment for LO’s naps. If he slept during the day at home we may have had the TV on, overhead lights in addition to natural lights and we may have been in the middle of conversation. After touring daycare we intentionally did that since LO was going to nap in a room with a bunch of other babies.</p> <p>What was different?<br /> He wasn’t held all the time. Daycare just simply could not hold him all the time like at home. Given LO’s personality I don’t think he was too upset by this as his daycare teachers always notes he was not cuddly and didn’t cry unless he was waiting too long for a bottle. </p> <p>Bottle. They warmed up bottles for him. He learned how to hold his own bottle at daycare. I did tell them give him a cold bottle if the delay in feeding him is because of the warmer. </p> <p>Toys. I picked a daycare that did a ton of tummy and floor time. We did the same as Home, but daycare had different toys. LO had favorites he looked forward to playing with at daycare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2810989 Wed, 21 Mar 2018 05:40:40 +0000 Bluebonnet 2810989@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: I wanted to pipe in about you mom’s view of daycare (my kids are a little older so the details of the infant room are really hazy at this point). My mom was aSAHM and was very anti daycare (but not as vocal as yours) and has had a complete change of heart. She now feels daycare was one of the best things we’ve done for our kids and she is amazed at how much they are learning and how much they are exposed to. It’s helped them socially and academically. So hang in there and realize that you know what is best for LO and your family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2810935 Tue, 20 Mar 2018 15:45:08 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2810935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: I just wanted to say hang in there and try try try not to let your mom's voice be in your ear. My mom said the same, awful thing to me (among other awful things), and it's not helpful. I cannot be a SAHM. It's just not in me, and I praise anyone who is able to do it. </p> <p>Our daycare's infant set up is very similar to yours, and my boys adjusted. It's really hard at first since it's a brand new environment for them, and sleep will be vary scarce for the first week, at least. Eventually, the caregivers there will adjust to your son, and he will adjust to them. The one thing that warmed my heart more than anything was when DS2 was sick and out of day care for a week when he was an infant. When he came back, he immediately reached for one of the teachers and put his head down on her shoulder. He missed her so much in that week, and it made me feel so proud that I picked a place where the workers cared for my son so deeply that he missed them when he didn't see them for a week. </p> <p>But please hang in there...as a new mom, it's really hard to see your baby struggle with a transition like that, but your baby is in good hands, and he'll get into a routine. I won't say it will be easy to leave him ever, but my kiddos are 5.5 and 2.5 and are still thriving at their day care. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2810902 Tue, 20 Mar 2018 13:59:57 +0000 periwinklebee 2810902@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@KT326: @Bluemasonjar: Thank you, I love hearing all these positive stories! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2810896 Tue, 20 Mar 2018 13:42:39 +0000 Bluemasonjar 2810896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS started daycare at 5 months and had a pretty well established schedule so they picked it up. Each day his teachers would ask about sleep the night before, eating etc and adjust as needed.</p> <p>The set up of the infant rooms is cribs around the edges and play areas in the middle. They keep the lights on during nap time at that age and don't allow anything in their cribs but DS adjusted pretty well to it. Just took some time and it is a hard transition at first. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2810874 Tue, 20 Mar 2018 12:52:07 +0000 KT326 2810874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Daycare transition is so hard, both for parents and baby! </p> <p>DS2 started daycare at 3 months old. The transition sucked. But now, a year later, he is thriving! We've just transitioned to our third classroom and each transition had a few weeks that were rough, but everyone made it through.</p> <p>The first class he was in had cribs in a separate area, but since the babies were so little and schedules were all over the place most just slept in the play area. Once he was a little older, they started trying naps in the crib area (one teacher would be dedicated to the sleeping room when babies were in there). This was the same set up in the next class he was in once he started crawling. Naps still sucked, I think because of the noise and different schedules. </p> <p>He's been in his third class for almost 3 months now, its the early toddler class where everyone is walking and on the same one nap schedule. He naps like a champ now, 2.5-3 hours! </p> <p>All this to say, it sucks in the beginning. But seeing them grow and make friends and learn all these new skills is so worth it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2810866 Tue, 20 Mar 2018 12:36:27 +0000 periwinklebee 2810866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs D: good call on the magic merlin suit - we got some of those as hand me downs but I put them away for when the baby is too old for the swaddle. But our daycare also doesn't allow swaddles, so I should check on that... </p> <p>@alphagam84: @Becky: @Mrs. Carrot: @Mrsbells: Thank you all, you make me feel much better at a time when I've been feeling pretty worried and discouraged :heart: :heart: </p> <p>I tried to look into it a little more, and read that there is a lot of controversy amongst experts about infant sleep arrangements at daycare. Some prefer separate areas of the room for sleep and play since it promotes better rest. But others prefer it to be the same area, even if sleep is worse, as god forbid if something horrible were to happen and a baby became medically distressed in a crib, it's more likely to be noticed in time... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2810856 Tue, 20 Mar 2018 12:05:24 +0000 Mrsbells 2810856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: What I can add is that babies adjust very quickly. DD was a tough transition she cried at drop off when she was 12 weeks for the first week or so. In the long run she ended up being at that daycare til she was almost 4 and loved it and thrived so much. It can be a hard transition but as long as you feel it is a safe and loving environment just know they will adjust soon </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2810852 Tue, 20 Mar 2018 11:57:14 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2810852@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: My daughter is coming up on 5 years old, and I could have written your post verbatim when I was getting ready to go back to work 4+ years ago. She was a reflux baby, had a very hard time sleeping without an incline or being held, hadn't really slept in a crib, you name it. She went to a home-based daycare, so there were only 2 rooms to begin with, one for sleep/eat/play, and one for older kids to sleep in, so the cribs were always out in the play area. And like others said, everything worked out just fine. The first week or so, she definitely didn't sleep much, mostly from sensory stimulation (and that continues to be the case now that she's older - kid's got the biggest sense of FOMO ever), but she adjusted very quickly. Being in one room was never an issue, she took to sleeping in a crib just fine, but the providers also did give them a fair amount of personal TLC if they needed it. Your kiddo will be OK, and like others have said, do not feel guilty about anything. If being a SAHM is not the right choice for you, then you're making the best choice for your child and your entire family. Daycare is not evil - most providers really care for the kids like their own. My daughter is getting ready to leave soon for kindergarten, and I wouldn't have traded our daycare experience for anything. It'll be OK, hang in there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2810844 Tue, 20 Mar 2018 11:32:36 +0000 Becky 2810844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You are describing my daycare! I had the same concerns and it was totally fine. DD slept fine, and most of the time someone was holding her and she was asleep when I picked her up. Some babies like to be cuddled more than others and they seemed to give that extra attention when needed </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2810835 Tue, 20 Mar 2018 10:55:44 +0000 alphagam84 2810835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This all sounds normal. DD's infant room was set up with cribs around the perimeter of the room. Somehow the babies still manage to sleep despite noise/light. He'll adjust. And unfortunately the workers can't hold your kid constantly when there's not a 1 to 1 ratio. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2810826 Tue, 20 Mar 2018 10:30:13 +0000 Mrs D 2810826@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry, a few more things. Since you mentioned he likes to be held - which just is not as possible with the daycare set up...do you send a blanket with your scent? Or a lovey? It could help...</p> <p>Also - for sleep...our daycare cannot swaddle their arms, it was something both my girls really needed. So we ended up with one of those sleep suits (Merlin) that worked real well for helping them sleep in a un-swaddled environment! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2810825 Tue, 20 Mar 2018 10:27:36 +0000 Mrs D 2810825@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: Its a lot of new stimulation to get used to for him, so expect it to take some time. There is definitely an adjustment period and before you know it he will love it. I dont think you mentioned how often he is going right now - but I can always tell the babies that arent full time bc they seem to have it harder...the confusion of one day home with their sole care-giver then boom being thrown back into a 4-1 ration caregiving environment. Please please dont sweat it. If you like the center, and have a good gut feeling about the teachers try to trust the process. It will get easier I promise!</p> <p>Also - I just want to add, shame on your Mom for putting that guilt on you. You know yourself better than anyone and you seem to be confident SAHM is not the route for you. I know I would not be a good SAHM - not good for me and not good for the teachers. You shouldnt second guess that...and shame on her for putting that on you. Its the last thing you need at this point. HUGS </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2810823 Tue, 20 Mar 2018 10:20:05 +0000 snarkybiochemist 2810823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: I got lucky, but it took a lot of searching and dead ends and driving myself crazy. Staying at home was not an option for me either. I'm sorry your mom isn't helping matters, its hard enough sending your child to daycare without everyone else making you feel guilty about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2810821 Tue, 20 Mar 2018 10:14:44 +0000 periwinklebee 2810821@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jennlin821: @kayla0416: @Mrs D: @snarkybiochemist: Thank you, it makes me feel much better that your LOs were able to adjust to a similar setup. </p> <p>He was really upset when I got there (the teacher was holding him and trying to calm him, said he'd been off and on like that throughout the day), did not calm down when I took him, then screamed inconsolably all the way home and finally calmed down when I held him in a dark room and got him to go to sleep. Poor little guy was starting to go hoarse from crying. I expected an adjustment period but it still broke my heart to see him upset - my mom has told me since I was a kid to never send her grandchild to daycare, and it's giving me serious mom guilt but I know that being a SAHM is not a good option for me :crying: I also read every book under the sun about sleep because my LO wasn't doing much of it at first (fixed by treating his reflux), so I may be over-obsessed with it. </p> <p>@snarkybiochemist: Your setup sounds awesome, I wish we'd found something like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2810806 Tue, 20 Mar 2018 09:24:50 +0000 kayla0416 2810806@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just went back to work last week and my 12-week old went to daycare. The infant room there (6 weeks- 8 months) is one large room broken into 4 quadrants. Front left is a drop-off area with cubbies and a fridge for pumped breastmilk, and a table with the check-in sheets. Back left is the changing station and diaper storage, sink, and a small area with high chairs for feeding the older ones. Front right is the play area with a couple rocking chairs, a swing, a couple jumpers, a couple playmats, and various other toys. Back right is the sleep area with 8 mini cribs. They keep the lights off in that section and have loud white noise playing, and there is a partition that closes off the sleep area from the changing/feeding area. But it is open to the front play area so there is still a decent amount of light and noise in the sleep area. </p> <p>My daughter is a pretty happy baby - very content, but doesn't always fall asleep easily and is a catnapper (20-40 min naps). Her first day was awful. They said she was inconsolable all day and hardly slept. So of course I was inconsolable that night and didn't want to take her back. But the second day was amazing! It literally took her one day to adjust. She's been there almost 2 weeks now and is doing great. They even get her to take a longer 1.5-2 hr nap at least once a day most days.</p> <p>The ratio in this room is 4:1, but the babies are still getting held a lot. You have to remember, at any given time, almost half of them are sleeping, since they're all on different schedules. Whenever I walk in to pick her up, both teachers are always holding at least one baby, sometimes two. And the other awake babies are always in the same small area, on a playmat, or in a bouncer or whatever, so they can still see faces and hear talking and/or music playing, like babies love. :) I am happy with the amount of attention she gets. </p> <p>It's so hard to go back to work and leave your baby with anyone that isn't you. But I really think babies adjust much easier than we give them credit for, usually. I think you should give it at least a couple weeks before considering any changes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2810801 Tue, 20 Mar 2018 09:10:00 +0000 Mrs D 2810801@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I should add, the reason napping got better for mine in the toddler rooms and up is that that is when they switch to a schedule for all toddlers, not on demand. So the lights are dimmed for all kids and it is nap time for everyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-post-trying-again#post-2810799 Tue, 20 Mar 2018 09:07:42 +0000 Mrs D 2810799@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Everything you have explained seems very normal.</p> <p>Our infant room is set up similarly. They do have a separate sleeping space (they have three spaces) for older kids. The infant room set up is front room is feeding, diapering and more admin type stuff, middle space is active play space and cribs for the littler babies (so they are closer to the teachers for oversight), back space for older kids sleeping, and some toys. The light in the back room does dim with inactivity, but the children are not restricted from cruising in there.</p> <p>Our daycare is 4-1 in the infant room. We were careful with DDs not to create babies who expect to be held all of the time. Thats not to say we didnt cuddle them and love on them lots but we were just cautious to not set them up with unreasonable expectations since the reality is we are both WOH parents and cannot be with them 24 hours a day.</p> <p>I transitioned DD1 gradually, 1 day a week for 4 weeks, then 3 days for 1 week, then boom full time (7:30am-5pm). She transitioned fine once we got to 3 days a week. the 1 day a week weeks were hard because it was a shock to her system. Neither DD ever slept great in the infant room, since they do on demand scheduling. They both napped wonderfully in the toddler rooms and up. It was more catnapping in the infant room then anything...they'd still do 3 hour naps at home on the weekends...just too much going on at daycare to sleep!</p> <p>I should note that they both started fulltime at 4 mos, DD1 started her transition at 12 weeks. </p>