https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 20 Apr 2026 11:23:42 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd/page/2#post-2348815 Mon, 09 Nov 2015 10:16:33 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2348815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Littlebit: Yes, sorry! I mentioned in an earlier post that my husband and I both spoke to the director about the issue, and it turned out that the employee had done this before with other families. So the decision was made by the center to let her go. The director was very upset on our behalf, though I tried to assure her that our only real concern was our daughter's safety in case god forbid the staff member got desperate due to her financial troubles. I appreciate the way everything was handled, and I'm sad it resulted in someone losing their job but I think it was the right call to make since this was a repeat action. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd/page/2#post-2347003 Fri, 06 Nov 2015 13:20:12 +0000 Littlebit 2347003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: any update? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2337247 Wed, 28 Oct 2015 14:22:34 +0000 mrsjd 2337247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for the update. I didn't post earlier but I couldn't help but think that for her to ask so brazenly, it couldn't be the first time she has asked for money from parents. I hate that I was right. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2337246 Wed, 28 Oct 2015 14:21:55 +0000 littlejoy 2337246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: Sure. Which is totally reasonable. I hope it all works out, and you feel completely safe there. Pat yourself on the back, mama, you did a good job for your kiddo!! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2337244 Wed, 28 Oct 2015 14:20:27 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2337244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: Thank you! It's definitely out of my hands, but it's going to take me a bit to let my guard down. I appreciate how it was handled by the director but I'm reserving full judgement until I see how it ultimately plays out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2337218 Wed, 28 Oct 2015 13:59:05 +0000 littlejoy 2337218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: That kind of sounds like the best case scenario for you ... (that the director was sympathetic, calmed your fears, and promised to take care of the situation). I feel like you handled this amazingly well, and I hope YOU feel like it's out of your hands at this point (a blip, as you put it ... that you don't have to stress over). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2337210 Wed, 28 Oct 2015 13:53:26 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2337210@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, by way of an update, I decided that I was going to report all this to the director. After mulling it over, it seemed like the least bad of all the options, because at least someone could be mindful of my kid and any potential mistreatment. </p> <p>Unfortunately we missed each other at pickup yesterday so I sent her an email this morning, letting her know what happened. I didn't name the teacher, and mentioned that I'm very sympathetic and don't want anyone to lose their job but that I have safety and fair treatment concerns when it comes to my kid over saying no to her request. </p> <p>The director called my husband and then me within an hour of me sending the email, and told us that she knew who made the ask. Apparently it had happened before, and they decided to give the teacher a warning because the child whose parents were approached had left the school at that point. She was extremely apologetic and completely understood my concerns - she's a mom with a young kid in daycare as well, and she just generally strikes me as someone who really understands, so I was very comforted by that. She's going to be talking to the owner of the daycare. I get the feeling they're probably going to let the teacher go, but didn't say so specifically. And she assured me repeatedly that I do not have to worry about my kid's safety or any mistreatment issues (and I believe her). </p> <p>I admit, when she said that this happened before, it made me feel a little less badly about the possibility of this woman losing her job. I'm still very sympathetic of the issues she's likely dealing with and in some way I do hope that she doesn't lose her job, but I also think an adult who's been warned before and doesn't heed that warning is likely not going to change that behavior. </p> <p>So there it is. Fingers crossed it all becomes a silly blip on our long term schooling experience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2335842 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 14:22:32 +0000 Mrs D 2335842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: completely agree - stick to the facts. you know what they say about assuming? it makes and ASS of U and ME :silly: </p> <p>Please keep us posted... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2335836 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 14:16:38 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2335836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs D: I can't take that approach. For all I know they're being paid really well (not likely, but who knows) and she's bad at managing money or has other financial issues that are making it hard to make ends meet. My approach is always to go on what I know on face value. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2335805 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 14:00:53 +0000 snowjewelz 2335805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I understand having empathy towards her and not wanting to report her and cause her to loose her job... BUT... It really is inappropriate and if she does this now, who knows what she might do down the line as she gets more desperate?! I mean, asking practically strangers for $ is pretty desperate already. </p> <p>I just hope the director will have wisdom on how to handle it so that maybe she doesn't just get fired automatically. Esp if it only happened your DH and you can probably overlook this one time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2335789 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 13:54:10 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2335789@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've worked in several daycare &amp; preschools (I teach preschool currently) and that teacher was completly inappropriate. The director needs to know. Of course, you should be compassionate and include to the director the positives of this teacher. Id probably say something like "We really like XYZ about Teacher X, and we don't want her to be in trouble/fired, but I'm concerned because she approached my husband....etc" I wouldn't ignore it and I wouldn't discuss it with other parents. The director knows this woman better than you and can make a judgement call about what's going on. Don't feel guilty about reporting it; I don't think your child would be "retaliated" against, because that will bring more grief/attention/trouble down on the teacher (who I'm sure doesn't want that). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2335762 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 13:36:56 +0000 Mrs D 2335762@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just read all the posts...while I think it would be nice to approach it from a concerned standpoint - I am not sure I would take the "I'm worried your employees dont make enough money" position. That would be putting yourself heavily on the line of assuming the employee is financially responsible and also accusing the center of mistreating its employees.</p> <p>I think a much better approach, if you do like this teacher, is to indicate what action you expect...if you do not want the employee terminated over it by all means speak your opinion, understanding the center may have different policies. I just dont think without knowing the situation you want to make assumptions about levels of payment being appropriate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2335734 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 13:17:30 +0000 ms.line 2335734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is crazy inappropriate and I would definitely report it to the director. While I can empathize with the shitty wages of service workers, think of all the other people it would have been more appropriate for her to ask (her parents, her friends, her SO, her siblings, her cousins, her neighbors, her colleagues, her boss, even.) The fact that she approached a *customer* at her place of work (and one that's only been around 3 months at that!) speaks volumes about her boundaries. She put you in an awful situation; you shouldn't have to be worried about her financial situation, about her asking you for money again, or about her retaliating against your child. If I were the director, I would absolutely want to know about this kind of behavior. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2335733 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 13:16:30 +0000 sunny 2335733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Omg this is so inappropriate. I'd be worried about reporting it and then having her retaliate against your child because she got in trouble and yet I'd also feel bad if she lost her job. :-( Awful situation to be in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2335718 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 13:05:42 +0000 reverie 2335718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That is really awkward and inappropriate. As an outsider I would 100% report it, but I realize it is a lot more awkward in real life :( I would also be worried about what exactly she needs the money for... why risk your job!? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2335711 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 12:59:13 +0000 RLCeigh 2335711@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pawprints: I really like how you phrased the issue Mrs. Carrot can bring to the director-- you are concerned and then you do your due diligence to make sure the director knows what is happening in their center.<br /> My LO went to a daycare in the city and I clearly remember an election day my husband and I dropped him off. We were chatting with the teachers and they saw our 'I Voted" stickers-- they all said they needed to go out and vote for X candidate because they supported section 8 housing, welfare, means tested benefits.<br /> It made me so sad that these wonderful women work so hard and cared for my son for 8 hours a day and yet they could not live solely on the wage they were being paid.<br /> Ug! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2335679 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 12:43:01 +0000 Mrs D 2335679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry, I did not read all responses but because she approached you in the center I think the Director needs to know.</p> <p>If she babysat for you on the side and asked in your home I may feel differently. But the director should be aware of what is happening inside the center no matter what. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2335678 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 12:42:58 +0000 yoursilverlining 2335678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That is really inappropriate and uncomfortable. I don’t know what I would do, to be honest. </p> <p>My gut says “tell the director”, but I think if you do that, the teacher will at best be in trouble and at worst lose her job. I wouldn't personally be comfortable knowing I likely cost someone their job - but it seems like there should be some report made. </p> <p>At our school, there is a specific collection at the holidays for teachers who need extra $$ help (it is all anonymous). It’s a separate thing you can donate to if you want to, because let’s face it, daycare teachers make crap money and most of them are living paycheck to paycheck. It burns me up that they do this instead of just raising wages, but you know, it’s a for-profit business in the US so it is what it is. Maybe you could raise the idea with the director that there are teachers needing extra help, and float this as an idea?</p> <p>Yeesh, that sucks all around though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2335676 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 12:42:49 +0000 littlejoy 2335676@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: I hadn't thought about that ... You're right. Someone might react immediately, which could cause more drama. I just wonder if she's asked anyone else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2335675 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 12:41:41 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2335675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: I know plenty of them, just not friendly enough to ask them about this outright. And if it was an isolated incident, I also don't want to make other people worry needlessly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2335674 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 12:40:54 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2335674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: I am definitely prepared for that. Unhappy about it, but the alternatives of not reporting me worry me more. We'll see what happens. This all sucks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2335673 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 12:40:37 +0000 littlejoy 2335673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you know ANY of the other parents? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2335665 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 12:34:41 +0000 Truth Bombs 2335665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: I think if you report it to the director, you have to be prepared for the woman to lose her job. If I were the director I would feel I had no choice but to fire the woman for an incredibly inappropriate action. And if I did report it, I would want her fired. I think a teacher is much more likely to be upset with you if you reported her actions to her boss than if you just said no and moved on. I would probably report it, as much as I would hate doing it. If this was a teacher you had a long standing relationship with it would still be awkward, but I could see it happening. Somone making a request like this after knowing you just a few months sends off some huge red flags. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2335663 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 12:31:38 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2335663@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: @Applesandbananas: I really like the teacher, and my empathy is going in all kinds of directions as well. And so is my sense of cynicism. What I meant by center is that it's not a home daycare so there are other teachers and LO isn't in someone's home. It's not a chain, like KinderCare, it's privately owned with 2 other locations in our area, and we have seen some staff turnover, but it's only been 3 months since we started there so I'm not sure what's typical. I'm under no illusion that they're being paid well, though it seems to be a societal issue rather than this particular daycare. My heart breaks that anyone is in that position, but like @silva said, I'm a bit of a cynic as well, and I can't help but wonder what else might be going on and how it all may impact my kid. I don't want the woman to lose her job by any means, but I don't know her well enough to know whether my kid is going to be treated worse, or God forbid what else desperation or retaliation can make someone do. My gut tells me to report it because at least it adds a layer of safety because the director knows, and I do want to argue that they don't fire her, but I have no idea what their policies are and how this may all flush out, and it breaks my heart a little to potentially be the source of someone else's hard times. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2335652 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 12:21:27 +0000 jlm22 2335652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow. That is so sketchy. I would absolutely tell the director. I also wouldn't give her a Christmas gift (if that is what you usually do) early. I know no one in this situation and it still gives me the creeps. It's not your responsibility to finance her life and unless you guys are BFFs outside of daycare, it is totally inappropriate. You are the "customer" (for lack of a better word) I'm so sorry you are dealing with this :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2335621 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 12:08:50 +0000 Silva 2335621@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: I need to preface this by saying that I am a drug and alcohol counselor, and until recently worked in a jail. So I'm very, very jaded. Full disclosure. I don't say that because I think drugs are involved specifically, but because it sounds super shady.</p> <p>I would absolutely tell the director. If it was for rent she likely could ask several other people (family, friends, roommate, whatever) for help. She is asking a stranger for a reason. Other people in her life have likely stopped giving her money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2335617 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 12:07:43 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2335617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would report that. And I wouldn't even frame it about a living wage. Honestly that could make you seem like you're overstepping even if you're not. </p> <p>Regarding pay, when I worked in a preschool/daycare as a new teacher (with an unrelated BA, state certification/5 classes, and some grad school in ECE) I made $11/hr, in a high cost of living area. I had another offer for $16 but that was definitely on the higher end, I kind of lucked out with that one but took the lesser one because it was much closer to home. It's not uncommon to be very low paid. There were more experienced teachers there making just a little more. Eta I only worked there a very short time and decided to go (back) into a different field. Also I was offered free child care, so that would have been a good perk, not sure if that's the case here or elsewhere. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2335610 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 12:03:26 +0000 littlejoy 2335610@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Applesandbananas: I know. Same. It's so hard. :( Initially, I wasn't sure what a "center daycare/preschool" is ... Like KinderCare? I just figured the turnover was pretty high, or it was a big place with many teachers? A small school, where every teacher knows your kid, and vice versa is probably a different situation ... but I'd still be so creeped out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2335600 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 12:00:00 +0000 Applesandbananas 2335600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: I know. My knee jerk reaction was absolutely tell the director, but thinking of the teachers my LO has had, I would trust them if they said something like this and I would want to help, just once. They've been so kind and loving toward LO and toward us, but obviously I don't know what the OP's feelings are toward this teacher. I'm really torn as well and I hope OP finds a good solution!</p> <p>ETA-even as a busy WOHM, I could probably spend 10 minutes googling resources to suggest. Goodness knows I spend more than 10 minutes on HB ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-teacher-issue-wwyd#post-2335585 Tue, 27 Oct 2015 11:56:43 +0000 littlejoy 2335585@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: This was my thought, too. Are they not making a living wage?! </p> <p>@catomd00: And yes ... this too. There's gotta be more going on here, and I don't think it's the OP's job to figure it out. :( </p> <p>@Applesandbananas: I am a really empathetic person, but if my kid is in daycare, it probably means that I am working, and don't have time to help send resources to this person. :( Sad, but true. Also, letting her "in" might create a vicious cycle of her always asking for money. I don't think anyone would want to get someone fired (goodness, that's so harsh), but I personally have a hard time seeing anything positive coming out of helping her "just once", or not saying anything?? It's such a hard situation. :bummed: </p>