https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 01 May 2026 15:26:10 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2267379 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 16:36:21 +0000 Mrs D 2267379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So pardon this scattered update but I am in my phone. </p> <p>I spoke to a teacher who I am very close with, she is our overnight babysitter so obviously I have complete faith in her. She said her opinion is that this teacher (from her experience with her) would never do such a thing. This is a huge relief for me bc my biggest confusion was simply that I don't have the interaction with this teacher to have developed an opinion of her.</p> <p>She was however slightly concerned by what little investigation/follow up was being done. She is going to do some "inquiring" and see what was really done as a result of the complaint.</p> <p>I feel better - I still may have a discussion with the director regarding the process for reviewing complaints. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2267304 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 15:19:09 +0000 daniellemybelle 2267304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: Yes. That's exactly what I was thinking. Even at 22 months my LO would be able to tell me if someone hit her or not... though maybe not days later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2267213 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 14:05:09 +0000 regberadaisy 2267213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At 2.5-3 my daughter definitely would've been able to and would've told me if someone had spanked her. Has anyone asked the child? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2267194 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 13:55:40 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2267194@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That teacher would have to be a complete idiot to spank a child in the bathroom. If she was that volatile &amp; reckless, the director would know about it and an allegation like that would have her fired. There are a lot of different explanations for what could have happened, as others have said. I would not think about this twice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2267116 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 13:02:32 +0000 gingerbebe 2267116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it were me, I would lean towards siding with the teacher and not think there was spanking involved. Spanking is like universally SUCH a no-no these days and those types of things are career enders that a teacher would probably never do that. I mean, the kid could easily tell her parents that the teacher hit her! Teachers are always stressed out about fighting with parents about differences in philosophy or approach so just being caught talking stern by a parent would be unnerving. For all we know, the teacher said something stern and the kid stomped her foot on the floor or did the toddler "sprawl out and nonviolent protest" chalk outline move and that sounded like a slap. </p> <p>I know a family personally who have gotten 2 different teachers fired from their kids' schools simply because the teachers were too stern with their kids (two separate teachers for 2 separate kids) and they got all the other parents riled up and it was essentially a witch hunt. The principal had no choice but to fire the teachers because the parents were all raising hell and I know one of those teachers couldn't get a job for a long time. I seriously doubt a teacher would be so stupid as to put herself in a situation to risk her job - especially since parents always talk and the childcare world is small in each town. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2267110 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 12:53:46 +0000 Truth Bombs 2267110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is parent B a real problem for the director and always causing headaches? I find it REALLY shocking that the director would just say "Ok, we'll waive your fee for short notice, bye". Our director would absolutely be taking a pretty strong stand with the parent if a teacher was accused of hitting a child. The fact that the director seems very indifferent about the whole situation is what is really concerning to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2267105 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 12:49:16 +0000 jh524 2267105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: good point. I guess there really is many things that could sound similar to a spank. The little girl running out and crying kinda sounds like something happened but who really knows. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2266976 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 11:27:20 +0000 Mrs. Peanut 2266976@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with previous posters that the child was probably not spanked. If you can, I would talk to the parent of the child who was supposedly spanked. If nothing else, they will be closely monitoring this teacher so you know the odds of this happening are even lower now than they were before. The teacher was probably embarrassed about saying harsh words. I used to work at a day care and I HATED when a parent came in as I was talking sternly to a child. I always felt like they were judging me even if that's exactly what the child needed to hear. Sometimes you have to be stern as you said, but you never know how people will react to it, so you second guess yourself with other people's children. She was probably embarrassed about that, I bet. You walk such a fine line of not letting the kid run wild but making sure you aren't stepping on the parents' toes. Of course actually spanking would be a different story. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2266916 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 10:39:29 +0000 Umbreon 2266916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm inclined to think that the child was not spanked. If the door was closed, the teacher would have had to hit the child really hard for it to be heard through the door. And like PP said, it most definitely would have left a mark or a bruise on the child. I also don't think the child would have ran over to the bean bag chair if she had been hit that badly. I feel like she would have cried on the spot in pain, or ran over to another adult out of fear.</p> <p>I'm guessing there was a noise in the bathroom, maybe the toilet seat slamming down, or a stall door closing. Through the closed door the sound would have been muffled and Parent B jumped to conclusions.</p> <p>I feel like the child would have said something to her parents, or the parents would have noticed a mark on her. Or the child would be showing fear towards this teacher now. Basically, I feel like there would be other signs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2266881 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 10:00:19 +0000 BandDmommy 2266881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: agree.. So many variables </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2266852 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 09:36:31 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2266852@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: I absolutely agree.</p> <p>To me, this could have been anything. The teacher could have dropped something on the floor in the bathroom and it sounded like a spank. Have you ever observed this particular teacher being harsh with the kids? The problem is that Parent B already doesn't like the school and is almost looking for a reason to pull her child. Unless she saw exactly what happened, she has no way of knowing that it was a "spank". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2266847 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 09:32:05 +0000 BandDmommy 2266847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs D: I'd ask the parent of the child allegedly spanked. There should be mark on child if she was spanked that loudly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2266845 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 09:30:49 +0000 Mrs D 2266845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: I have generally had a great relationship with the director - so my gut tells me to talk to her. I dont have much interaction with this teacher - her classroom is a bit "out of the way" so I dont walk past it frequently. There is only one class for each age group - so DD would definitely have to go through there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2266810 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 09:16:29 +0000 ShootingStar 2266810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know, that description sounds pretty incriminating. Do you trust the director? A good daycare director should thoroughly investigate this and let the teacher go if she believes the incident happened. I'd first meet with the director and hear their explanation of what happened. </p> <p>Also, what is your take on the teacher outside of this? Most of the teachers at my daycare seem really sweet and patient. But there's one in the preschool classroom who I've observed yelling/being harsh on multiple occasions (I have to walk by that class every day). I'm already a little leery of having DS be in her class in a year. If I heard that account of that particular teacher, I'd be inclined to believe it. The other teachers, I'd be more inclined to write it off as there must be an explanation.</p> <p>Are there any other classrooms your LO can go to? Our old center was really big and there were usually two rooms of each age group. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2266809 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 09:15:40 +0000 wonderstruck 2266809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jh524: Lots of things. Clapping your hands and the girl hitting the teacher are the main two that come to mind. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2266803 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 09:08:55 +0000 avivoca 2266803@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs D: It's possible that the little girl hit the teacher, too. I know H has done this to her teacher a few times when she hasn't gotten her way when she was tired. It's not something that happens a lot, but it is something to consider. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2266800 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 09:05:43 +0000 Mrs D 2266800@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: So she is in the 2.5-3year old room...so that age range. Parent B is trying to figure out how to get in touch with the parents of the girl to inform them.</p> <p>Obviously I know it could all be nothing and perfectly fine - but it just makes me nervous. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2266777 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 08:47:10 +0000 Mamaof2 2266777@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs D: How old is the child that allegedly got spanked? Does parent B know her parents?</p> <p>curious if the childs parent is aware of what may have happened and what the child says happened.</p> <p>This would drive me batty and I would want answers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2266773 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 08:44:51 +0000 jh524 2266773@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Really? What other sounds like a spank though?? Seems to me they're pretty obvious.<br /> This is a tough call ! I would be reluctant to let my child with this women. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2266772 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 08:44:43 +0000 Mrs D 2266772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So - I actually just spoke with Parent A &amp; B and got a firsthand account of the situation.</p> <p>She was dropping her son off and happened to be standing outside the bathroom door. She heard some stern talking from the teacher (not abnormal of course) and then the alleged "spank" and then the little girl came running out crying and sat on the bean bags (the timeout location). Parent B said the teacher looked at her and had a humiliated/embarassed/scared look on her face. She also said she felt it was weird that the teacher did not go and console the crying student.</p> <p>The director told Parent B she spoke with the teacher who assured her nothing happened, and the director indicated they will keep a closer eye on the teacher in the short term. And that appears to be that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2266765 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 08:39:39 +0000 wonderstruck 2266765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Oatmeal: I was thinking this too. So many things could have happened that would have that sound. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2266743 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 08:28:07 +0000 Alivoo01 2266743@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: agreed! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2266741 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 08:27:09 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2266741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: Thats a good point. The director should be pretty open about what happened (or was thought to have happened) and should have a good explanation for how it was addressed/handled. </p> <p>Even if it wasn't a spank, hopefully the director spoke with the teacher, reviewed video footage, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2266737 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 08:22:44 +0000 Mamaof2 2266737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would ask the director. Ours has always been very open and honest with me - I would tell her you heard it 3rd hand and you are wondering what happened- </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2266735 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 08:20:35 +0000 BandDmommy 2266735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like telephone.. I'd only go on 1st hand account. So, I would do nothing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2266732 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 08:18:42 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2266732@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Another odd part of the story, was the little girl, crying, screaming, upset? Why didn't she mention all that? </p> <p>I sometimes clap really loud to try to get my kids attention. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2266725 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 08:13:28 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2266725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: This is exactly what I was going to say too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2266711 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 08:06:39 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 2266711@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There's a lot that can sound like a spank, IMO. I wouldn't worry about it at all- seems like a very trivial reason for parent B to pull her kid, without serious evidence. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2266704 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 08:03:24 +0000 blackbird 2266704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>"believes she heard a child in the classroom...spanked"</p> <p>Parent B doesn't even know what she heard, honestly. And she told Parent A. Who told you. That's an awfully long chain of communication. She didn't see anything. She's totally speculating. Maybe another kid slapped another kid. Maybe she fell. Maybe she was looking pretty damn hard for a reason to pull her kid from daycare. </p> <p>*shrug*. I wouldn't even give this the time of day, frankly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/daycare-what-would-you-do#post-2266687 Wed, 19 Aug 2015 07:47:20 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2266687@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would maybe follow up with the director and just ask her to explain their discipline policy and how they monitor that in the classrooms. </p>