https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 09 Apr 2026 12:10:43 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2152535 Wed, 22 Apr 2015 11:21:40 +0000 littlejoy 2152535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh mama!! This is so hard, I'm sure. It sounds like you're doing everything right. I'm interested to see if the new schedule will help acclimate her a bit better. I wonder if the teachers could encourage more group activities and bonding behavior? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2152369 Wed, 22 Apr 2015 09:58:16 +0000 bunnylove08 2152369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So update today... </p> <p>She woke up and asked where she was going. I said school and she started to cry. we watched Daniel Tiger and every time they said "Grown ups come back" She would pout and hold back tears. She would look at me and say "Mommy I miss you" </p> <p>I let her take her time getting ready and we walked to the bus no tears. I let her bring her giraffe, Neigh, with her. She started to cry when we got to the daycare. The children were outside playing. I took her to her favorite AM teacher and she cried saying Mommy I miss you.I told her Daddy will pick her up and Grown Ups come back." She of course cried. I did my best to leave quickly and when I walked out the gate she only had tears. </p> <p>I feel so bad. We're going to put her in 5 days a week for 3 hours and my nanny will pick her up at noon and watch her until 6:30. I think today was a win. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2151148 Tue, 21 Apr 2015 11:20:17 +0000 bunnylove08 2151148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: These are great questions to ask. </p> <p>1. DD has started to play on her own at home, but she will try to interact with DH and I when playing. She will have conversations with her dolls and pretends to read to them. When she is with her nanny, she takes her to the Thai Temple and on those days there are children she can play with. One is 3 months older than her, and there is a smaller baby that she likes to take care of. She will play with her cousins where they will run and talk to each other. She will interact with other children at the playground and pool, but she will have adults start the conversations and then join in. </p> <p>2. DD is a shy child, but she will come out of her shell when people interact with her. She is cautious around adults but more bold with children. She is very aware of how people react to her and if there is a negative reaction she will acknowledge it. </p> <p>I have been asking friends with children if they would consider having their LO going to daycare with DD. I have a friend who is interested in daycare, but pre-K she wants more curriculum. I think even having her LO there will make it easier for DD. </p> <p>DD has also identified two friends, I do not know how she interacts with these two friends. She is very shy when we try to speak about school. She avoids it and started to have selective hearing when we ask. I will ask the school if they can put me in touch with her two friends' parents and see if we can do a play date at the park.</p> <p>Thank you so much for your kind words. Our DD is out everything and we want to make sure she is happy. I know she is having transitional issues and I remind myself that she had these with out nanny when we just started out. I wish she could see it that way. She speak about school and her teachers but she keeps saying she misses me. She needs more time and we're going to try to work that out with her daycare and nanny. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2150430 Mon, 20 Apr 2015 17:17:41 +0000 gingerbebe 2150430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Two thoughts:</p> <p>1. How well does your child play at home by herself? Does she do well with independent play or does she like to be with you or the nanny the whole time? If she's not good about playing alone or entertaining herself for a good amount of time, perhaps you can gradually teach her to do so in small increments. This might teach her to be able to have fun without having nanny or an adult with her all the time.</p> <p>2. Is your child introverted? I am a very gregarious and social person around people I know well, which masks my introversion, but I am not comfortable in social situations where I don't know anyone. As a child, this caused me a lot of angst. Eventually, I learned to zero in on someone I was drawn to and try to become their friend right away because I hated the anxious feeling I got in a classroom full of strangers. Once I had that one familiar friend as a touchpoint, I would feel secure enough to make another friend, etc. </p> <p>I think trying to arrange a playdate with another child at school is a great idea for similar reasons. </p> <p>Also, just a word of encouragement. I know this is upsetting, but you and your husband are doing a GREAT job pinpointing what's upsetting your daughter and trying to troubleshoot the issues proactively. And remember, there's nothing wrong with her! Daycare is just a counterintuitive social setting for your girl and she needs a little help to navigate it in a way that works for her unique personality. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2150404 Mon, 20 Apr 2015 16:49:56 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2150404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Poor baby. How often does she play with other kids on the nanny days? Maybe she's too used to an adult being her playmate even when she's at daycare.</p> <p>agree with others that suggested more days at daycare. Also try a small group play date with the daycare kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2150360 Mon, 20 Apr 2015 16:03:18 +0000 hotchildinthecity 2150360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bunnylove08: I know he might be a bit of a unique case but he ADORES it. He can't wait to leave in the morning and bothers me nonstop to put his clothes on. He still cries a little at dropoff...that seems to be a little sticking point for him. But he naps better than he does at home, he's learning better than I could have taught him and he's eating better too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2150355 Mon, 20 Apr 2015 16:00:10 +0000 bunnylove08 2150355@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hotchildinthecity: I might take the plunge and do full time. We just need to see when her Nanny is going to have her surgery. </p> <p>Your DS adjusted well? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2150350 Mon, 20 Apr 2015 15:57:11 +0000 hotchildinthecity 2150350@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bunnylove08: I'm going to agree with @mrbee...full time kids adjust faster I think. I had this whole plan to ease my kiddo into daycare over the course of three weeks and they called me on the third day and asked if I could leave him for the whole day! He's there 8-6 too....it's not like it's torture lol ;). I can't afford to stay home, nor do I really want to! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2150332 Mon, 20 Apr 2015 15:37:17 +0000 bunnylove08 2150332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: She likes the assistant teacher but she comes after we drop her off around 9am and leaves around 5pm. we pick her up at 6pm :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2150327 Mon, 20 Apr 2015 15:31:35 +0000 yoursilverlining 2150327@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bunnylove08: :crying: Does she have a special bond with any particular teacher? Maybe that teacher could buddy-up with her more, especially at drop-off? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2150311 Mon, 20 Apr 2015 15:19:00 +0000 bunnylove08 2150311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dagret: We tried Daniel Tiger, didn't help :( </p> <p>@yoursilverlining: I remember you said this on my other daycare post. I asked if she could give stickers to the teachers and she didnt want to. when she started to go to daycare, she would comfort the other children when they cried . She would tell them, "Its okay to be sad. My mommy is at work too." but I dont think she does that anymore. I dont know what changed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2150244 Mon, 20 Apr 2015 14:37:34 +0000 dagret 2150244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are having a rough transition, too, starting a new daycare after 8 weeks of maternity leave and 7 months of in-home care. </p> <p>We watched the Daniel Tiger episode "Daniel's Babysitter/Daniel Goes to School" a lot this weekend, started sending a lovey to school with him, and provided a picture of our family for the daycare to put in the classroom.</p> <p>It's so rough. Hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2150228 Mon, 20 Apr 2015 14:29:57 +0000 yoursilverlining 2150228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh my, this makes me heart hurt for you. My heart would be breaking if my LO told me that!! :crying: </p> <p>I agree with some others that have suggested putting her in FT (or 3-4 days) for a few weeks if you can. I really think that will make a huge difference.</p> <p>Is there a special toy or small doll she could bring to feel more comfortable and confident at school? How about a “special job” in her class. My LO was having a rough transition from toddler to preschool room, and her teacher asked LO if she could help her water the classroom plants. Now my LO is the “official plant waterer” and gets very excited about her job – that and following our established goodbye routine (3 hugs and 3 kisses) helps to stave off tears.</p> <p>Good luck, and lots of hugs.<br /> :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2150206 Mon, 20 Apr 2015 14:22:56 +0000 mrbee 2150206@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bunnylove08: We eased into daycare a bit with our son, and in retrospect... I wonder if it delayed his acclimation process.</p> <p>I think it may be easier for some kids to adjust to a full time program, than to adjust to a part time program. My daughter is in a pre-school program with a lot of half-day and part-time students, and some of those kids had really long adjustment periods! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2150199 Mon, 20 Apr 2015 14:16:09 +0000 bunnylove08 2150199@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: We're talking with her daycare and nanny about this. She will have to go full time for one month (her nanny is getting surgery), BUT we are hesitant because she will be there for a long time (8:30-6:00pm). I spoke with her nanny and we're thinking about starting her off part time for 5 days a week and then moving to full time for the month and seeing from there if we should still do half days or part time (2 days) of daycare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2150117 Mon, 20 Apr 2015 13:38:34 +0000 daniellemybelle 2150117@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: That's a good point. LO was much younger (10 months) but we sent her 3 days per week for a month instead of 2 days per week when she was struggling to adjust to daycare. She is going 4 days per week now, and even though she is actually going to a different school 2 of those days, her teachers have said she has really come out of her shell. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2149936 Mon, 20 Apr 2015 12:25:37 +0000 mrbee 2149936@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The idea of asking the teacher for suggestions for playdates is a great one!</p> <p>Could you also have her do a full week or two at the daycare, to accelerate the process of making friends? I've noticed that the fulltime kids at daycare/preschool seem to adjust a lot faster. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2149919 Mon, 20 Apr 2015 12:10:31 +0000 daniellemybelle 2149919@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No real advice but this breaks my heart for all three of you :crying: I hope it gets better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2149780 Mon, 20 Apr 2015 10:41:36 +0000 hotchildinthecity 2149780@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Myself and a few of the other moms were griping this morning that Monday's are the WORST because the kids have a hard time transitioning back to daycare after the weekend. Since DD is only goes part time, she has to do that "Monday transition" twice a week. So that's going to make the length of transition harder unfortunately.</p> <p>My son has EI therapists that come to his daycare and I asked them if he is making friends, because I was worried he might not since he can't talk much. The ABA therapist said that the kids that age don't necessarily play together super well, and they're still just playing alongside each other. I think pp's suggestion of having a little play buddy during free time would be nice. I also encouraged J to sit with the kids in the morning and stuff....I used to hand him off to snuggle with a teacher while he settled down but I didn't want the kids thinking he's a "baby" so I sit him in the "big boy" chair for him to join in with the other kids first thing in the morning. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2149768 Mon, 20 Apr 2015 10:35:40 +0000 bunnylove08 2149768@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@fuzzypeaches: DD started in March and she only goes 2 days a week. I think its a part of the transition but she is so sad and heartbroken :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2149764 Mon, 20 Apr 2015 10:34:04 +0000 bunnylove08 2149764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: I asked the morning teacher if she could mention DD's lack of friends to her teacher. I asked if she could try something to help her make friends. We even brought playdoh to see if other kids may be interested. I like the idea of pairing. I will also suggest that. </p> <p>@Truth Bombs: That's a great idea. I might ask her teacher if there is a friend who seems interested in DD and see if we can try for a play date. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2149761 Mon, 20 Apr 2015 10:32:18 +0000 fuzzypeaches 2149761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh that's awful :( how long has she been attending daycare for? Could it still be part of the transition?<br /> I worry about my DS this way too - he's much more used to being around adults than kids :s </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2149756 Mon, 20 Apr 2015 10:31:20 +0000 Mamaof2 2149756@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bunnylove08: I would talk to the teacher and see if she can pair up your DD with another child during play time - maybe your DD is too shy to initiate so having the teacher do it might help? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2149753 Mon, 20 Apr 2015 10:29:34 +0000 Truth Bombs 2149753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This breaks my heart. Can you invite some of her school friends over for a play date? Maybe having them on her own turf will help her to connect with them and that way she'll feel more comfortable around them and play more with them at school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dd-says-shes-lonely-at-daycare-what-to-do#post-2149747 Mon, 20 Apr 2015 10:27:01 +0000 bunnylove08 2149747@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dh finally got it out of her, and my DD (2.5 years) said she is lonely at school (daycare)</p> <p>DD has been having a hard time at daycare. She goes 2 days a week (Mondays and Wednesdays) and cries every time she has to go. Every morning she wakes up at 5am and asks if today is Nanny day or is she going to school. If we say school she cries. She tells the teachers she misses me and I found out today she said she was worried about me. DH finally got it out of her and she says she doesnt have friends and is lonely. One of the teachers (not A's teacher) said she usually clings to the teachers when they come and she does not really interacts with the other children. DD has lot of cousins around her age and plays with children nicely at the pool and park. </p> <p>What can I do to help her make friends so she is not so sad? </p>