https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 29 Apr 2026 21:54:38 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-coworker#post-2887273 Fri, 07 Jun 2019 20:37:59 +0000 Lindsay05 2887273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@nwm: thank you! I appreciate your insight! I agree, it is two different issues. She’s the type to hover over me staring into the back of my head for a few minutes before just talking to me. I know for a fact she cannot and is not handling the job by herself well and has requested for me to help out. But at the same time it’s my project and I should be leading it not helping lol. My manager is aware that I am seeking a leadership<br /> role within the company. My husband has reminded me to give it a few weeks for the dust to settle and I’m sure I’ll be back where I want to be. And again I do have to step back and just wonder, maybe it’s me that’s hard to work with! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-coworker#post-2887271 Fri, 07 Jun 2019 20:19:59 +0000 nwm 2887271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lindsay05: i should add, definitely sympathize with feeling like you've dropped on the totem pole. i struggled with that after only four months! that part will definitely get better and in my experience you can sort of springboard back to where you were...just give yourself a chance to get your feet under you :happy: but IMHO i would try to avoid being too direct about your feelings of annoyance about the coworker (as opposed to wanting more responsibility, which i definitely think you should be direct about!), hence my suggestion above of trying to find proposed solutions that would have an added benefit of getting you some space from this person. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-coworker#post-2887270 Fri, 07 Jun 2019 20:17:14 +0000 nwm 2887270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>seems to me like there are two different issues, one being that you find this coworker really annoying and hard to work with and the other is that you want your project back that she has kind of taken over. agree management needs to make the call, but i just think it might be helpful to make sure you're thinking about the two issues separately. what if your employer wants you both to continue working on the same project, eg because it's expanded and needs both of you? i think then it becomes much more difficult/awkward to say something that effectively comes across as not wanting to work with person X. is there another project or a way of structuring the current project that you could proactively suggest to your boss that would address both issues? instead of just purely stepping back from your own project, could you either (1) identify another specific project that would give you some professional growth opportunity or (2) find a way to more formally segment the existing project and propose that to your boss (ideally with you taking on more/being in a leadership role :wink: but also getting to have some formal boundaries with this coworker)? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-coworker#post-2887269 Fri, 07 Jun 2019 20:04:14 +0000 Lindsay05 2887269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@peachykeen: @TemperanceBrennan: my manager is great at making sure we are doing jobs that we are enjoying and great at so I know there’s no doubt that he will listen to what I say. He is also great at not micro managing and kind of letting us figure out our caseloads. But you guys are right that he needs to step in and make the call. I know he doesn’t know my current frustrations and I’m struggling to figure out if I should even bring that up. I guess I’m feeling like i have dropped down the totem pole so to speak. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-coworker#post-2887243 Fri, 07 Jun 2019 15:42:54 +0000 peachykeen 2887243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What @TemperanceBrennan: voiced is about exactly what I was going to say. When I've come back from maternity leave (after only 3m, even), workloads have shifted and my supervisors have had different goals for me. Based on your descriptions of the conversations, I think they need to sit down with you and your coworker and plot out what tasks/projects they want you each working on. They can (and should) take into account each of your desires, but management needs to be the one to specifically detail the workload, I think. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-coworker#post-2887241 Fri, 07 Jun 2019 15:35:02 +0000 TemperanceBrennan 2887241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like you've certainly advocated for yourself, but it doesn't sound like management has said what they prefer. I think you should try to get some direction from your boss and the next meeting you have. I would also be honest and say, while I get along with coworker personally, her management style is not particularly compatible with mine. I would prefer to manage the project alone rather than share responsibilities if that is possible. Good luck! I know it is hard. I have had my own issues coming back from maternity leave the first time and am preparing for another maternity leave in September. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-coworker#post-2887237 Fri, 07 Jun 2019 15:17:54 +0000 Lindsay05 2887237@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@TemperanceBrennan: Thanks for your reply. I had a discussion separately with each the boss and the coworker and with my boss I had expressed that I wanted to be back in that role. With my coworker I said basically the same thing except that it was possible to share the caseload. There have been discussions this week about basically splitting it but I’m realizing that not sure I will be able to mentally handle it. I’m stewing over it at home already and I have only recently returned. I will be meeting with my boss again soon so I will probably say that I’ve realized that my passion really is working on this program and enjoyed the leadership role with it. I’m not sure how to express that I would rather go at it alone rather than with her help. Or if that would even be a discussion worth having at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-coworker#post-2887233 Fri, 07 Jun 2019 15:09:47 +0000 TemperanceBrennan 2887233@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it needs to be addressed head-on. My suggestion would be to talk to your boss and see what the company/organization's desire is. Do they want her to keep going or for you to take it back over? Is it up to you two? Are you supposed to share responsibilities? Depending on that answer it sounds like a meeting with your boss, you, and your coworker to hash out the details. Call it a "project roles discussion" and in that meeting you can talk openly about your desire to step back into your previous role and your coworker will have a chance to discuss what they would prefer, and then the boss can make a decision. Is there a chance for you to head up a different project/program? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-coworker#post-2887230 Fri, 07 Jun 2019 14:48:35 +0000 Lindsay05 2887230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just returned back to work after being off for 12 months. It’s sad but inevitable lol It felt great to be able to be challenged again professionally. However, I have a coworker who I have worked with off and on for about 4 years. She has always annoyed me with her personality. She is extremely over analyzing everything and creates so much more work. She was the one to take over a project which I started up before I went on my leave. Well she now has taking ownership of the program. It’s irritating me to no end and I really don’t want to make a workplace issue because of it. My boss is aware of my desire to be back in my former role but it hasn’t been voiced to my coworker. I’m not sure how to go about it without creating an issue. Myself and 3 coworkers (including her) share an office and it’s extremely frustrating just having her in the same room because of her demeanour. I can handle her on a personal level but in the work setting it’s already causing me stress. </p> <p>I’m trying to think about how it’s letting it affect me and it’s most likely me and not her but it’s becoming difficult. My idea so far is to inform my boss that I will step away from that program until it actually needs me. Otherwise I will just help out elsewhere. I feel like this is just one of those scenarios where going on maternity leave sets a person back in their career. Any suggestions or anyone been in a similar situation? </p>